GreenJester
10-29-2004, 01:31 AM
Splendar, the reknowned mercenary, stood before Agden the Pet Seller evaluating the two animals on the auction block. One was a sad-eyed, waggle-tongued puppy dog which was looking at him earnestly. The other was a great, silvery timber wolf which sat bolt-upright and surveyed the mercenary with a sharp, unfaltering gaze.
“You’re saying I should buy the puppy dog?” Splendar asked in a dubious voice. His brow furrowed in thought; Splendar was not the swiftest warrior on the field when it came to the brains department, but he was no fool either.
“Yes!” Agden grinned, nodding wildly. “Yes! He is so loyal, and his heart, it really is in such a good place. He will bring you many days of faithful companionship, and I can attest that he will always walk in front of you, leading the way.”
“Is he any good in a fight?” Splendar asked without much hope.
“Why certainly! Puppy-dog,” he called sweetly, “show the nice man how cunning and vicious you can be!”
The little dog with the floppy ears suddenly began to bark and puff up its chest. Soon it was hopping up and down on the auction block, snapping excitedly in all directions with apparently no regard for what it was biting. It bit its own tail and yelped, and then it charged forward and latched onto Splendar’s leg.
“Son of a bitch! Agden, get this animal under control before I skewer ya with my bastard sword!”
“Ack!” cried Agden. “I’m so sorry, sir! He gets a little zealous, but you must admit he’s vicious! Sometimes he just doesn’t know when to quit—“
Agden succeeded in pulling the snarling puppy off Splendar’s leg. Immediately, at the sound of Agden’s scolding, it reverted to the sad-eyed creature it had once been, and looked pitifully up at its master, apparently confused about what it could possibly have done wrong.
“What about that wolf over there?” Splendar asked, holding his injured shin. “What can you tell me about him?”
Agden’s demeanor immediately turned sour. “That one,” he said grudgingly, “will never be a good companion. He’s already been raised up and trained. He might not come when you call, and he’ll hesitate to walk ahead of you if he smells danger in your path.”
“Is he as fast as he looks?” Splendar asked, forgetting his shin and looking the animal over with more careful scrutiny.
“Well, yes,” Agden conceded. “He is, as they say, battle-hardened. He is familiar with the tricks of other dogs and their masters, and even knows the differences between their words of command. When he barks, there is no doubting he means business. He only bites when it counts. But this animal—you would not want this animal sleeping with you at your bedside!”
Splendar laughed, loud and long, then handed over a bag of gold to Agden. “I don’t care what he’s like curled up at my feet, pet seller. It’s a rough world out there. Will he kill me in my sleep?”
Agden looked grievously offended. “No, never sir! I only meant, well, he is not such a kind-hearted animal. . .”
“Agden, it’s not a kind-hearted world.”
With that, Splendar lead the wolf away, taking care to give him plenty of tether. For his part, the wolf eyed his new master with a disarming intelligence, and a wolf’s grin which seemed to say: Give me the chance to do what I was born to do, and earn my meat.
“Ah, well, puppy-dog, I suppose next market day we’ll find you a home, eh?” Agden said to himself as he led the other animal back through the streets of the city. The puppy looked sad and dejected, but at the sound of a woman’s cry he began to growl and strain at his tether, until finally Agden lost his grip. The woman’s voice came again, almost like laughter, but the puppy dog heard only a cry of distress, and padded as fast as he could down the sidewalk, into the small travelers’ inn, up the stairs to the bedroom where evil deeds were so obviously taking place. The puppy snarled at the two lovers roiling upon the bed, and even as the woman’s excited cries bubbled into laughter he charged forward and sank his fangs into her lover’s buttocks. The screaming was genuine this time, pained and frightened—but all the puppy could think was: I’m saving the day! I’m saving the day!
And he went on thinking that until the man threw him out of the third-story window.
THE END
“You’re saying I should buy the puppy dog?” Splendar asked in a dubious voice. His brow furrowed in thought; Splendar was not the swiftest warrior on the field when it came to the brains department, but he was no fool either.
“Yes!” Agden grinned, nodding wildly. “Yes! He is so loyal, and his heart, it really is in such a good place. He will bring you many days of faithful companionship, and I can attest that he will always walk in front of you, leading the way.”
“Is he any good in a fight?” Splendar asked without much hope.
“Why certainly! Puppy-dog,” he called sweetly, “show the nice man how cunning and vicious you can be!”
The little dog with the floppy ears suddenly began to bark and puff up its chest. Soon it was hopping up and down on the auction block, snapping excitedly in all directions with apparently no regard for what it was biting. It bit its own tail and yelped, and then it charged forward and latched onto Splendar’s leg.
“Son of a bitch! Agden, get this animal under control before I skewer ya with my bastard sword!”
“Ack!” cried Agden. “I’m so sorry, sir! He gets a little zealous, but you must admit he’s vicious! Sometimes he just doesn’t know when to quit—“
Agden succeeded in pulling the snarling puppy off Splendar’s leg. Immediately, at the sound of Agden’s scolding, it reverted to the sad-eyed creature it had once been, and looked pitifully up at its master, apparently confused about what it could possibly have done wrong.
“What about that wolf over there?” Splendar asked, holding his injured shin. “What can you tell me about him?”
Agden’s demeanor immediately turned sour. “That one,” he said grudgingly, “will never be a good companion. He’s already been raised up and trained. He might not come when you call, and he’ll hesitate to walk ahead of you if he smells danger in your path.”
“Is he as fast as he looks?” Splendar asked, forgetting his shin and looking the animal over with more careful scrutiny.
“Well, yes,” Agden conceded. “He is, as they say, battle-hardened. He is familiar with the tricks of other dogs and their masters, and even knows the differences between their words of command. When he barks, there is no doubting he means business. He only bites when it counts. But this animal—you would not want this animal sleeping with you at your bedside!”
Splendar laughed, loud and long, then handed over a bag of gold to Agden. “I don’t care what he’s like curled up at my feet, pet seller. It’s a rough world out there. Will he kill me in my sleep?”
Agden looked grievously offended. “No, never sir! I only meant, well, he is not such a kind-hearted animal. . .”
“Agden, it’s not a kind-hearted world.”
With that, Splendar lead the wolf away, taking care to give him plenty of tether. For his part, the wolf eyed his new master with a disarming intelligence, and a wolf’s grin which seemed to say: Give me the chance to do what I was born to do, and earn my meat.
“Ah, well, puppy-dog, I suppose next market day we’ll find you a home, eh?” Agden said to himself as he led the other animal back through the streets of the city. The puppy looked sad and dejected, but at the sound of a woman’s cry he began to growl and strain at his tether, until finally Agden lost his grip. The woman’s voice came again, almost like laughter, but the puppy dog heard only a cry of distress, and padded as fast as he could down the sidewalk, into the small travelers’ inn, up the stairs to the bedroom where evil deeds were so obviously taking place. The puppy snarled at the two lovers roiling upon the bed, and even as the woman’s excited cries bubbled into laughter he charged forward and sank his fangs into her lover’s buttocks. The screaming was genuine this time, pained and frightened—but all the puppy could think was: I’m saving the day! I’m saving the day!
And he went on thinking that until the man threw him out of the third-story window.
THE END