**The Official Hopeless Romantics Thread**

[dmbinchicago]

#15,000 is dedicated to Primo.

:manly:hug

[Popeye2003]

Yeah, I can't believe I even made it through all of them. I haven't even had my morning coffee yet.:eek
:eek

[Jessica41]

Gotta love the Internet. Isn't today his birthday?

It was, yes.

[Jessica41]

No. She's well past her college years.

I have an "I facebooked your mom" t-shirt. And since Chase is going back to school, it's sort of a joke. Obviously it turned out crappy.

- Primo

A friend of mine has that shirt also.

[Jessica41]

Disclaimer: this post contains venting

I just needed to put this out there and get it off my chest, even though I've done what I consider a very good job with not keeping anything from my gf. She came up for the weekend again this past weekend. We had a "nice weekend" for the most part. A little fight Saturday nite but nothing that wasn't solved before we went to bed. My aunt called Sunday morning and invited me to the country club for Mother's Day. We don't normally do big family get togethers for mothers day. Well my gf is going to be up that weekend and has just met my grandparents this weekend. She was very up front with me about the fact that she gets upset if she doesn't feel included or thinks my family doesn't like her. Well my aunt didn't invite her. She never invites my gfs... never has. Even my last gf whom I dated for 1 1/2 yrs was never formally invited to a family get together. She got rather upset that she wasn't invited and more upset that I was going to take time out of "our" weekend to go to Mother's Day lunch with my family. Mainly because she only comes up on weekends and I only live 1 hr from my family. When I tried to explain that it's probably because they've only met her once and in their eyes we've "only been dating for 2 months"... she got mad. She heard, "We've ONLY been dating 2 months." So I got the whole "Then I guess 2 months is nothing to you... I guess we wasted two months... etc etc". Mind you, we're arguing at 1am and I have to get up at 5:45. I just couldn't believe she'd make me choose between her and my family. Although in her mind, it should all be one in the same. We were most definitely brought up in different families. If the tables were turned, I wouldn't even be expected to be invited much less make her choose between the two. But on her side, as soon as her family meets the bf, he gets invited to things like that. Even explaining this didnt' help. I just don't know what to do... there are other issues (probably bigger ones) that I won't go into... I care for her, I do. I love her... but there are things about her and about the relationship that I don't know I could stand long term. I have it in the back of my head that most of the "drama" and problems will subside when she moves up this way. A lot of it is she hates her life in Virginia and wants to be closer to me... so that could turn out for the best or worse. At least if it doesn't work with her up here... I know she's a LITTLE happier not being down in VA. it just really sucks.. literally being stuck between a rock and hard place...


I'm basically going to go ahead and say what everyone else said since I appear to be late on the scene. Your gf is making a huge deal out of this. If she wasn't invited, you can either call your aunt and ask if she can come since she will be in that weekend, or you can go ahead and go to the lunch by yourself. But no matter what you do, don't ditch a family thing because your gf is throwing a hissy fit.

[Jessica41]

That's a tough situation.

With my family, my girlfriend is always invited to anything. It's just the difference in the way that some families are.


Same here. Both my family and Justin's understand our relationship and we are automatically invited to whatever's going on.

[Jessica41]

I need a beer just from reading the past 10 posts.

:thumbsup

[Popeye2003]

I'm basically going to go ahead and say what everyone else said since I appear to be late on the scene. Your gf is making a huge deal out of this. If she wasn't invited, you can either call your aunt and ask if she can come since she will be in that weekend, or you can go ahead and go to the lunch by yourself. But no matter what you do, don't ditch a family thing because your gf is throwing a hissy fit.
:thumbsup

[Jessica41]

Sorry to hear about the breakup, Matt. Hope you're doing alright.

[davehead34]

Same here. Both my family and Justin's understand our relationship and we are automatically invited to whatever's going on.

That's how my family is, too. My family still keeps in touch with some of my old girlfriends and my ex's even visit my family on occasion.

[whiteysax]

my aunt didn't have a problem with her coming, so she has a seat. I told her and she was ok with it... but isn't sure if her mom is gonna want her at home for mother's day or not... wtf?!?! if she might not have been able to be here anyway, what the hell?! she was upset over the principle of being invited (included) or not. but things are better than they were this morning. she acknowleges that she's been high maintainence and dramatic and swears when she's out of this job and things settle down, it'll get better... like it was before she started working there. and as i recall when i met her (before she started there), she wasn't near as dramatic... so we'll see...

thanks for all your support and advice guys... y'all rock! :hump

[Jessica41]

my aunt didn't have a problem with her coming, so she has a seat. I told her and she was ok with it... but isn't sure if her mom is gonna want her at home for mother's day or not... wtf?!?! if she might not have been able to be here anyway, what the hell?! she was upset over the principle of being invited (included) or not. but things are better than they were this morning. she acknowleges that she's been high maintainence and dramatic and swears when she's out of this job and things settle down, it'll get better... like it was before she started working there. and as i recall when i met her (before she started there), she wasn't near as dramatic... so we'll see...

thanks for all your support and advice guys... y'all rock! :hump

what kind of work does she do? she should be able to seperate work from personal issues.

[whiteysax]

what kind of work does she do? she should be able to seperate work from personal issues.
she works for the government... inventory/paperwork stuff. but she shares a desk with someone else that basically makes my gf do her work plus the work of the person she shares a desk with. she had started out by training with this person and was never really let go to do the job herself. she gets bossed around and made to do all the busy work that she wsan't hired to do. shes tried going to the boss... but the boss loves this other person and sticks up for her. my gf is planning on giving 2 weeks tomorrow (but i've heard that before)

and now she calls after eating, in tears, telling me her mom told her she can't come up here any more... it's like nonstop.
but do you see what i mean by things could get better if she moves... no parents, no crap job, no phone relationship... etc etc

[Jessica41]

but do you see what i mean by things could get better if she moves... no parents, no crap job, no phone relationship... etc etc

yeah I see... how old is she, and why do her parents say she can't visit anymore? distance takes a toll on anyone. I'm sure things could get better if she moved with you, but you need to make sure that if they don't, there is a way out of it all.

[whiteysax]

she is 23... didn't really give a reason... told her she can't come up here. guess they think she spends too much time here and not enough there. her mom has a thing for running her life aparently. if it doesn't get better when she moves, my hope is that she'll be at college and have made some friends so she isn't all alone...

[Jessica41]

Isn't she moving up here for you though?

[whiteysax]

She is moving mostly to get out of her parents house and be closer to people she sees more often (me, her best friend, etc). I would never ask her to pick up everything just for me... not after 2 months. But her parents make her life stressful and she really should be out of her parents house at 23 yrs old.

Good news though... she's had 2 places show her interest in a job... both in VA... but it gets her out of her shitty job and the one puts her in an educational setting which will look real good after she finishes her ed degree and looks for teaching jobs. So she's looking at bouncing out of that job into one of these new ones and ultimately into something up here by the summer. Needless to say, she's been a bit more pleasant to talk to since 8am.

I assume you're still living happily ever after, jess? I'm so glad your happy! Best of luck with everything!

[davehead34]

... distance takes a toll on anyone...

:thumbsup Agreed. Nothing was ever more true than this.

[DMBfan41]

parents need to stop taking control of their childs life. Whether they're 19 or 23, they're able to make their own decisions. They need to stop causing their kids stress.

[davehead34]

I think it's always important for most people to move away from home at a young age. There's something to be said for fending for yourself when you're still not an adult even if your parents are paying for living expenses.

[uneverknow14]

parents need to stop taking control of their childs life. Whether they're 19 or 23, they're able to make their own decisions. They need to stop causing their kids stress.

GOD YES...i'm back home with parents just for the summer and i'm already stressin out just thinking about it :shrug

[whiteysax]

parents need to stop taking control of their childs life. Whether they're 19 or 23, they're able to make their own decisions. They need to stop causing their kids stress.
AMEN!!! I was given complete freedom at 18 (with reservations out of respect for my parents)... but you have to grow up some time. My gf's whole deal is that she brought up different... conservative southern parents.. believe quite strongly that if she "lives under their roof, she lives by their rules". and the only real thing they have that can hold her is that her car is in their name and paid for by them... so if they wanted to cut her off... she'd loose transportation. rent, bills, insurance, pay check... she takes care of that herself.

[whiteysax]

my girlfriend comes from the same situation except latino/hispanic background. The moment she tries to gain independence, her father has a problem with it. She is 19, but she is smart and knows how to take care of herself. But, she still has to be home at certain times, can't be late home, can't deposit checks at the bank. It's ridiculous, drives me crazy. She gets pissed one day and forgets it the next. I'm hoping it all changes when she moves onto campus next semester
I hear ya... don't some parents remember how frustrating it was when they were 20 and they weren't able to live their own lives?

[whiteysax]

why are the posts rearranged?

[DMBfan41]

AMEN!!! I was given complete freedom at 18 (with reservations out of respect for my parents)... but you have to grow up some time. My gf's whole deal is that she brought up different... conservative southern parents.. believe quite strongly that if she "lives under their roof, she lives by their rules". and the only real thing they have that can hold her is that her car is in their name and paid for by them... so if they wanted to cut her off... she'd loose transportation. rent, bills, insurance, pay check... she takes care of that herself.

my girlfriend comes from the same situation except latino/hispanic background. The moment she tries to gain independence, her father has a problem with it. She is 19, but she is smart and knows how to take care of herself. But, she still has to be home at certain times, can't be late home, can't deposit checks at the bank. It's ridiculous, drives me crazy. She gets pissed one day and forgets it the next. I'm hoping it all changes when she moves onto campus next semester

[DMBfan41]

the Ants clock went back an hour i think, ha ha

[DMBfan41]

nevermind, back to normal....

[davehead34]

why are the posts rearranged?

I was noticing that, too. Strange!

[whiteysax]

i posted and saw the post below my new one and was like... didn't i just read that?

[Jessica41]

I'm confused

[Jessica41]

I'm confused

[Jessica41]

She is moving mostly to get out of her parents house and be closer to people she sees more often (me, her best friend, etc). I would never ask her to pick up everything just for me... not after 2 months. But her parents make her life stressful and she really should be out of her parents house at 23 yrs old.

Good news though... she's had 2 places show her interest in a job... both in VA... but it gets her out of her shitty job and the one puts her in an educational setting which will look real good after she finishes her ed degree and looks for teaching jobs. So she's looking at bouncing out of that job into one of these new ones and ultimately into something up here by the summer. Needless to say, she's been a bit more pleasant to talk to since 8am.

I assume you're still living happily ever after, jess? I'm so glad your happy! Best of luck with everything!

Sounds like things should be good then. I'd hate to see it not work out after seeing how happy you've become with her.

I'm still very happy, yes. Thanks for asking :) We will be seeing you this summer!

[whiteysax]

Sounds like things should be good then. I'd hate to see it not work out after seeing how happy you've become with her.

I'm still very happy, yes. Thanks for asking :) We will be seeing you this summer!
kick ass! There's not one show I'm not looking forward to more than another...
SPAC = meet up with Primo and ants/Limerick
Hershey = summer tradition and local ants
Alpine = 'nuff said
Cville = hometown tour ender in a new arena

[Popeye2003]

C'Ville was shit in 01. They need to make up for that.

[DMBfan41]

No big trips for me, but I'll be at Scranton, Camden N2, and Randall's N1

[gbs3769]

It's going to be a good summer of concerts.

- Primo

[whiteysax]

It's going to be a good summer of concerts.

- Primo
:thumbsup

[Shagadelic]

I was sittin at the bar with a coupla friends and this woman walked by. she was short and petite with red hair and light freckles....i thought i died and went to heaven....:o

[davehead34]

No big trips for me, but I'll be at Scranton, Camden N2, and Randall's N1

Same here man. I'm only doing the SoCal shows with the possibility of hitting up Fenway. It's a drastic and radical change of pace from last year. Nothing I can do about that, though. When it rains, it pours. At least I'm seeing Xavier this summer, too.

[davehead34]

I was sittin at the bar with a coupla friends and this woman walked by. she was short and petite with red hair and light freckles....i thought i died and went to heaven....:o

I love Irish chicks.

[gbs3769]

I had to cut out my big trip as well. Alpine just was going to be too much.

But I am looking to replace it with Fiona Apple/Damien Rice so that will be nice.

- Primo

[DMBfan41]

oh man, so slacking off in my Lit class has not payed off. The stories that we need are not on spark notes. I had to pay $10 at bookrags.com to get study guides.

Damn it!

[gbs3769]

What stories?

And Cliff's Notes are better. Cliff's a good guy, and he's from Lincoln, NE.

- Primo

[davehead34]

I had to cut out my big trip as well. Alpine just was going to be too much.

But I am looking to replace it with Fiona Apple/Damien Rice so that will be nice.

- Primo

I still have to check out Damien Rice...

Sorry to hear you're not going to Alpine - Welcome to the club! This'll be one helluva year for Alpine, too. All/most of my friends are going, but I just couldn't swing it, either. It's cool, though - I live on the beach, BOY! :cool

How're things in NY these days?

[gbs3769]

It's cool, though - I live on the beach, BOY! :cool
Sounds like a tough life.

You should be beaten over the head for not having listened to Damien Rice yet. Honestly, he continues to make his way up my top 10 list. Right now he jumped to the #3 spot, knocking fellow Irishman, Van Morrison down to #4.

At any rate, things in NY are allright. Kristen and I are talking again so who knows where things will end up. Work has been hell this month. With the retirement of the guy who did the lab system for the last 17 years and me now taking it over, it's sort of been baptism by fire. I'm struggling through it and I'm making some good progress. We'll see how that all goes. Other than that, I'm just looking for a house around here in Syracuse. Haven't found one that really interests me yet.

- Primo

[Popeye2003]

What's your top 10, Primo?

Chase, I'm about to upload the damn album for you so that you don't have any excuses.

[DMBfan41]

What stories?

And Cliff's Notes are better. Cliff's a good guy, and he's from Lincoln, NE.

- Primo

Nectar In A Sieve, The Woman in the Dunes, Disgrace, The Death Of Ivan Ilych, and Family Happiness.

Literature is my nemesis. It's really stupid, you read a book and write about it. It should be something easy.

I wish I was more intelligent. I'm just not.

[davehead34]

Sounds like a tough life.

You should be beaten over the head for not having listened to Damien Rice yet. Honestly, he continues to make his way up my top 10 list. Right now he jumped to the #3 spot, knocking fellow Irishman, Van Morrison down to #4.

At any rate, things in NY are allright. Kristen and I are talking again so who knows where things will end up. Work has been hell this month. With the retirement of the guy who did the lab system for the last 17 years and me now taking it over, it's sort of been baptism by fire. I'm struggling through it and I'm making some good progress. We'll see how that all goes. Other than that, I'm just looking for a house around here in Syracuse. Haven't found one that really interests me yet.

- Primo

Yeah, life at the beach is both strenuous and frustrating. I have to wake up everyday and worry about how many hours I'll be able to lay on the beach after work :rolleyes

That's unfortunate about the whole Kristen thing. You guys were one of the cutest (god I hate saying that word) couples I've seen in a while. Hopefully the dust will settle soon and you'll be back with her. As for the job, that sounds like one helluva promotion. :thumbsup Congratulations! More responsiblity usually means more money. House hunting's a bitch. I can't stand looking for houses and absolutely despise the moving process. The last time I moved was an absolute nightmare.

[whiteysax]

I still have to check out Damien Rice...

Sorry to hear you're not going to Alpine - Welcome to the club! This'll be one helluva year for Alpine, too. All/most of my friends are going, but I just couldn't swing it, either. It's cool, though - I live on the beach, BOY! :cool

How're things in NY these days?
:multi:hump

[DMBfan41]

Ah, jobs. Something i try not to worry about right now. I'm just trying to pass college, ha ha.


Damien Rice/Fiona Apple at Central Park Summerstage. Can not wait!

[DMBfan41]

and the expensive summer might continue, dear god, they announced the PNC Bank Arts Center schedule this morning, look at this.

Nine Inch Nails
Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions Band
Black Crowes with Robert Randolph & The Family Band
Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls
O.A.R. and Jack's Mannequin
Guster and Ray LaMontagne
Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule
KoRn
Roger Waters

how the hell do I pick shows from that?

[Jessica41]

I'm jobhunting and it sucks bigtime.

[pkpro1]

and the expensive summer might continue, dear god, they announced the PNC Bank Arts Center schedule this morning, look at this.

Nine Inch Nails
Black Crowes with Robert Randolph & The Family Band
Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls
Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule
Roger Waters

how the hell do I pick shows from that?
that's how :)

[gbs3769]

What's your top 10, Primo?

01. Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers
02. The Waifs
03. Damien Rice
04. Van Morrison
05. Santessa
06. Ray Lamontagne
07. Kristin Diable
08. Missy Higgins
09. Dave Matthews Band
10. Hooverphonic

- Primo

[DMBand520]

and the expensive summer might continue, dear god, they announced the PNC Bank Arts Center schedule this morning, look at this.

Nine Inch Nails
Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions Band
Black Crowes with Robert Randolph & The Family Band
Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls
O.A.R. and Jack's Mannequin
Guster and Ray LaMontagne
Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule
KoRn
Roger Waters

how the hell do I pick shows from that?

I know some people going to that NIN show. I saw them in the fall though so I'm not gonna go.

I have a ton of DMB shows this summer, 1 Pearl Jam show, and I'm considering:

Tool
Radiohead
Guster
Counting Crows

Tool and Radiohead aren't gonna be cheap though.

[gbs3769]

My summer concerts look like:

05.31.06 DMB (Kansas City)
06.16.06 DMB (SPAC)
06.17.06 DMB (SPAC)
07.08.06 DMB (Fenway)
07.29.06 Fiona Apple/Damien Rice (Atlantic City)
08.09.06 Guster/Ray LaMontagne (Rochester)
08.19.06 Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (SPAC) * Assuming that Young is still touring with them at this point

Sadly Roger Clyne won't make it this way over the summer and Missy Higgins just won't work out. I'm sure I'll get down to the City at least one time this summer to see Kristin Diable and Van Morrison is only touring overseas.

- Primo

[davehead34]

:multi:hump

:lorraine :BANG

[Popeye2003]

and the expensive summer might continue, dear god, they announced the PNC Bank Arts Center schedule this morning, look at this.

Nine Inch Nails
Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions Band
Black Crowes with Robert Randolph & The Family Band
Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls
O.A.R. and Jack's Mannequin
Guster and Ray LaMontagne
Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule
KoRn
Roger Waters

how the hell do I pick shows from that?
It's easy.

Nine Inch Nails
Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls
Guster and Ray LaMontagne
Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule

[Popeye2003]

01. Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers
02. The Waifs
03. Damien Rice
04. Van Morrison
05. Santessa
06. Ray Lamontagne
07. Kristin Diable
08. Missy Higgins
09. Dave Matthews Band
10. Hooverphonic

- Primo
Wow. My list would've been a lot different.

[gbs3769]

Wow. My list would've been a lot different.
What would it have been?

- Primo

[davehead34]

My list:

1. DMB
2. Phish
3. Xavier Rudd
4. moe.
5. String Cheese
6. Jack Johnson
7. Pink Floyd
8. Matisyahu
9. TR
10. David Gray

[DMBfan41]

My top 10

1. DMB
2. Jack Johnson
3. Pearl Jam
4. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
5. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. Jason Mraz
8. Motion City Soundtrack
9. Yellowcard
10. Fall Out Boy

[Popeye2003]

What would it have been?

- Primo
All-time or current?

All-time is just impossible for me to come up with... I'll come up with a top 10 current.

[Popeye2003]

1. Dave Matthews Band
2. John Butler Trio
3. Pearl Jam
4. The Mars Volta
5. Tool
6. Umphrey's McGee
7. Móveis Coloniais de Acaju
8. Béla Fleck and The Flecktones
9. Jack Johnson
10. Los Hermanos

I know I'm forgetting someone.

[smeritt]

Sorry i've been M.I.A lately guys, lotta crazy family shit. But all is well and I shall make a valiant return soon.

[davehead34]

Sorry i've been M.I.A lately guys, lotta crazy family shit. But all is well and I shall make a valiant return soon.

Geez! You and your excuses, Sean! :rolleyes Not bad family shit, is it? :confused

[gbs3769]

Sorry i've been M.I.A lately guys, lotta crazy family shit. But all is well and I shall make a valiant return soon.
Glad to hear all is well.

- Primo

[whiteysax]

Things have been better and worse for me. The gf has been happier... not quite as annoying in the complaining department. Which makes her more pleasant to talk to. But now all the conversation (at least every other convo) is about how much i mean to her, how I'm her strength and i'm the only one that cares for her enough to help her, and how much she loves me and how she just knows she's supposed to spend the rest of her life with me...

That's all very flattering and I should be lucky enough to find someone that connected. So why am I not? Why does that annoy me? Why do I feel obligated to keep her happy? I'm tired of hearing about how I'm the "only one" and even more tired about hearing aobut "when we're married" and other future plans. She says she talks about the future all the time cause she hates where she's at now and the future is all she has. Well I hate building that future without taking care of the present. But how do I break all that to her when I know that I'd be destroying everything she's come to rely on and look forward to. I don't know that I can wait til she moves up here to "see if it'll work". Cause I'm starting to think that the "future talks" might only get worse.

Oh yeah... I'm tired of spending every hour I'm not at work (and some I am) on the phone with her... and I'm tired of being made to feel guilty for not WANTING to spend that much time on the phone. I brought that up this morning with her though...

My first relationship in 3 yrs... I hate disappointing people :(

(yes, eggie, I'm sure we'll talk tonite... ;))

[davehead34]

Things have been better and worse for me. The gf has been happier... not quite as annoying in the complaining department. Which makes her more pleasant to talk to. But now all the conversation (at least every other convo) is about how much i mean to her, how I'm her strength and i'm the only one that cares for her enough to help her, and how much she loves me and how she just knows she's supposed to spend the rest of her life with me...

That's all very flattering and I should be lucky enough to find someone that connected. So why am I not? Why does that annoy me? Why do I feel obligated to keep her happy? I'm tired of hearing about how I'm the "only one" and even more tired about hearing aobut "when we're married" and other future plans. She says she talks about the future all the time cause she hates where she's at now and the future is all she has. Well I hate building that future without taking care of the present. But how do I break all that to her when I know that I'd be destroying everything she's come to rely on and look forward to. I don't know that I can wait til she moves up here to "see if it'll work". Cause I'm starting to think that the "future talks" might only get worse.

Oh yeah... I'm tired of spending every hour I'm not at work (and some I am) on the phone with her... and I'm tired of being made to feel guilty for not WANTING to spend that much time on the phone. I brought that up this morning with her though...

My first relationship in 3 yrs... I hate disappointing people :(

(yes, eggie, I'm sure we'll talk tonite... ;))

:confused That's one helluva situation. I always say that commuication is the most important part of any relationship. I believe that it's important you tell her exactly how you feel, but be very careful how you say it. Choose your words carefully - you don't want to hurt her, you want her to understand. How you would go about that is beyond me. I'm not in your shoes and I don't know what would be appropriate or inappropriate. It seems like you really care about this girl, but you just want her to give you a little breathing room. Perhaps you could suggest to her that you feel guilty for not spending more time with your family or guy friends and that they're an imporant part of your life, too. While she may not want to hear that, I'm almost certain that she'd go along with it as any good girlfriend would.

As for the phone situation, I'd just be honest with her. I used to have relationships with girls where I'd spend countless hours on the phone with a person and end up getting NOTHING done in my off time. There came a point where I told them that I wasn't accomplishing as much because I was constantly on the phone and I just didn't call as much. There isn't really an easy or painless way to deal with these kind of things, which is why I'm very clear to my girlfriends right at the beginning of the relationship that I a) Love DMB and spend way too much money on them, 2) Play guitar for about one to two hours a day, 3) Love the Sox, and 4) Love to be by myself and I need my space.

It sounds like this girl just needs to mature a bit and perhaps grow to be more independent. Good luck! :)

[whiteysax]

:confused That's one helluva situation. I always say that commuication is the most important part of any relationship. I believe that it's important you tell her exactly how you feel, but be very careful how you say it. Choose your words carefully - you don't want to hurt her, you want her to understand. How you would go about that is beyond me. I'm not in your shoes and I don't know what would be appropriate or inappropriate. It seems like you really care about this girl, but you just want her to give you a little breathing room. Perhaps you could suggest to her that you feel guilty for not spending more time with your family or guy friends and that they're an imporant part of your life, too. While she may not want to hear that, I'm almost certain that she'd go along with it as any good girlfriend would.

As for the phone situation, I'd just be honest with her. I used to have relationships with girls where I'd spend countless hours on the phone with a person and end up getting NOTHING done in my off time. There came a point where I told them that I wasn't accomplishing as much because I was constantly on the phone and I just didn't call as much. There isn't really an easy or painless way to deal with these kind of things, which is why I'm very clear to my girlfriends right at the beginning of the relationship that I a) Love DMB and spend way too much money on them, 2) Play guitar for about one to two hours a day, 3) Love the Sox, and 4) Love to be by myself and I need my space.

It sounds like this girl just needs to mature a bit and perhaps grow to be more independent. Good luck! :)
Thanks Chase... I know that's what I need to do... and I probably shouldn't be as nervous about cause the way she talks, I could kill a guy, slap her in the face, and steal her car and she'd still want to spend every day with me cause I'm "the one". I'll have ot see how this weekend goes and start straightening out these issue... cause i know the premise of all the future talk is that she doesn't want to waste another 3 yrs with a guy she isn't going to marry. so if there's a chance we won't get married in 2 yrs, there's a chance she'll walk...

[gbs3769]

You know, I've had this window open all afternoon expecting to take a moment to write a proper response to your situation. I don't know why I haven't and I don't know why I am not doing so now. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and I'll have a response soon.

- Primo

[whiteysax]

LoL... that's ok, man... I know what I have to do... I just haven't had deal with this stuff lately and quite frankly, after 2 months and me being busy with concert season at school, it's not something I WANT to deal with.

[whiteysax]

weird thing is that since i got this alpine ticket and turned up the dave in my car on teh way home, i've been in a better mood and she isn't annoying me with the obsessive need to be with me... guess the remedy is more dave shows!!! lol

[Jessica41]

weird thing is that since i got this alpine ticket and turned up the dave in my car on teh way home, i've been in a better mood and she isn't annoying me with the obsessive need to be with me... guess the remedy is more dave shows!!! lol

dave cures everything ;)

[Jessica41]

So why am I not? Why does that annoy me? Why do I feel obligated to keep her happy? I'm tired of hearing about how I'm the "only one" and even more tired about hearing aobut "when we're married" and other future plans.

She sounds like she's extremely dependent. I would gently tell her that you need to do other things, ie. spend time w/ friends, family, etc, and being on the phone is taking up a lot of time when you need to be doing other things. You need a chance to MISS eachother, and when you're talking every waking moment, it's hard to get the chance to miss them.

[smeritt]

Geez! You and your excuses, Sean! :rolleyes Not bad family shit, is it? :confusedIt's pretty crazy. Not stuff I need/want to deal with as a seventeen year old trying to enjoy life and figure stuff out for the future along with take AP exams that could help shape said future. Luckily my girlfriend of four months now(thats big for me) has been behind me every step of the way and I'm very thankful to have her and fall more and more crazy about her each day. Plus I found out my Saratoga and Darien seats. Anyone going to either show let me know their seats. But I'm dealing with shit and I think after my last test tommorow I will be a little less stressed and baseball and my girlfriend will take my mind off things.

[davehead34]

It's pretty crazy. Not stuff I need/want to deal with as a seventeen year old trying to enjoy life and figure stuff out for the future along with take AP exams that could help shape said future. Luckily my girlfriend of four months now(thats big for me) has been behind me every step of the way and I'm very thankful to have her and fall more and more crazy about her each day. Plus I found out my Saratoga and Darien seats. Anyone going to either show let me know their seats. But I'm dealing with shit and I think after my last test tommorow I will be a little less stressed and baseball and my girlfriend will take my mind off things.

I'm sorry to hear that man! I remember having to take the SATs and do the Senior Project in high school and how much those stressed me out. I never even got around to taking any AP exam classes (except Freshman year). My Mom's going to Darien this year! She's a wicked big fan and goes to tons of shows. She's sitting in section 101 row 4! Totally jealous...

[DMBfan41]

i never got stressed out in high school because I didn't care at all.


Now, in college, I'm stressed out about everything, ha ha

[davehead34]

i never got stressed out in high school because I didn't care at all.


Now, in college, I'm stressed out about everything, ha ha

I stressed a little bit in high school, stressed a little bit the first few years in the Marines, now I don't care about anything (except getting DMB tickets and beating the Yankees). Being jaded is cool... I guess. :shrug

[DMBfan41]

I never needed to stress, no AP classes.

[whiteysax]

I never needed to stress, no AP classes.
:thumbsupOne AP class my senior year and I didn't bother taking the test for it (since the test was the morning after we got back from our band trip to Disney). didn't stress for the SATs... scored 1210 my junior year and decided to try to better it my senior year.. but I slept through my alarm and missed the test... never bothered to reschedule... Ahh, the carefree days of high school...

[Jessica41]

Ahh, the carefree days of high school...

I didn't do shit in high school and still managed to get A's and B's. I miss those days.

[smeritt]

Thats how ive always been then i realized college is going to be a bitch so I thought id step it up a biyt my junior year. Pulled a 4.2 this quarter

[DMBfan41]

alright, it's Scranton and Randall's Day 1 for me this year. Cutting back after seeing them 5 times last year.

but there is still a possibility of Charlottesville

[Popeye2003]

Just saying hello.

[Jessica41]

alright, it's Scranton and Randall's Day 1 for me this year. Cutting back after seeing them 5 times last year.

but there is still a possibility of Charlottesville

I better see you at Scranton.
we have lawn, booo
couldnt find 3 reserved together

[DMBfan41]

I better see you at Scranton.
we have lawn, booo
couldnt find 3 reserved together

i'm going with my dad again, i'm trying to get some good seats.

But this time I'll be sure to see you there

[Jessica41]

i'm going with my dad again, i'm trying to get some good seats.

But this time I'll be sure to see you there

good:D

[davehead34]

I'll make it to PA one of these days :rolleyes

[DMBfan41]

god i hate dealing with death.

Her grandfather died yesterday. I never know what to do. I know she's upset, she doesn't want to talk about it. So I don't really have anything to say, I know she's thinking about it so I want her to talk. But I don't want to make her talk

[Shagadelic]

god i hate dealing with death.

Her grandfather died yesterday. I never know what to do. I know she's upset, she doesn't want to talk about it. So I don't really have anything to say, I know she's thinking about it so I want her to talk. But I don't want to make her talk


buy her something nice....flowers or a teddy bear or something, tell her your ready to listen if she wants to vent......just be there for her, don't try to solve her problems....

[gbs3769]

god i hate dealing with death.

Her grandfather died yesterday. I never know what to do. I know she's upset, she doesn't want to talk about it. So I don't really have anything to say, I know she's thinking about it so I want her to talk. But I don't want to make her talk
http://www.ftd.com/514/catalog/product.epl?product_id=C52-3037&index_id=product_flowers_subtypes_lily&parent_index=product_flowers

- Primo

[davehead34]

god i hate dealing with death.

Her grandfather died yesterday. I never know what to do. I know she's upset, she doesn't want to talk about it. So I don't really have anything to say, I know she's thinking about it so I want her to talk. But I don't want to make her talk

She'll probably need some space so try not to take it personal if she starts distancing herself. I suppose being there for her is all you can do.

[davehead34]

http://www.ftd.com/514/catalog/product.epl?product_id=C52-3037&index_id=product_flowers_subtypes_lily&parent_index=product_flowers

- Primo

I bought a certain girl flowers one time, and man - they were nice. Unfortunately, the effects didn't last too long and she left me for her ex who was actually stringing her along the whole time. It was a pretty fucked up situation...

[JenLuvsDMB]

Hey everyone. Just poking my head in here, wanted to say "hi" to my fellow HR's. It's been a looong time. All I can say is work sucks and takes up most of my life, for now. Hope everyone is doing okay. :)

[gbs3769]

Hey everyone. Just poking my head in here, wanted to say "hi" to my fellow HR's. It's been a looong time. All I can say is work sucks and takes up most of my life, for now. Hope everyone is doing okay. :)
Hey Jen. Hope work gets a little better.

- Primo

[gbs3769]

I bought a certain girl flowers one time, and man - they were nice. Unfortunately, the effects didn't last too long and she left me for her ex who was actually stringing her along the whole time. It was a pretty fucked up situation...
Yeah, that's the nuts.

However, flowers are a very good thing. They can brighten someone's day.

- Primo

[whiteysax]

buy her something nice....flowers or a teddy bear or something, tell her your ready to listen if she wants to vent......just be there for her, don't try to solve her problems....
Good advice... the frustration sets in when she comes to you and ASKS you to solve all her problems... :shrug:twak

[gbs3769]

Then you just have to become superman.

- Primo

[whiteysax]

Then you just have to become superman.

- Primo
where's my F*king cape!!!!??!? :twenty4

[whiteysax]

Concert season is so stressful... Here's my week thus far (and why I've been MIA lately)
This week I have 3 dress rehearsals for my high school and 2 middle school orchestra along with 1 concert for my 6th grade orchestra. Next week I have the other middle school concert and the high school concert.
Last weekend my gf knocked her head from tripping on the steps and sustained a mild concussion.. enough so that she was in no shape to drive home Sunday or Monday, and just in case, Tuesday as well. So I've been taking care of her and keeping her mom updated. Last nite I had one of my dress rehearsals... gf is feeling better, was planning on leaving yesterday when I went to rehearsal... got reamed out by her dad and boss about missing work, I snapped at her cause I was pressed for time... stress build up plus recovering from head injury and her vision went blurry to the extent that she was on the road and could barely see the lines and signs on the side. She came to my school and decided to stay another nite cause she'd only have gotten in an accident had she driven. So she's still here recovering. Supposed to be leaving after lunch this afternoon.
I may be a little on edge until next Wednesday...
I want my SPAC...

[gbs3769]

Man that's rough. Sorry boss.

SPAC will be here soon enough.

- Primo

[DMBfan41]

School is out for summer

Sophmore year of college is over!

Bring on the concerts!

[Jessica41]

my life is stressful as hell lately. i need dmb.

[gbs3769]

Me too.

- Primo

[JenLuvsDMB]

Me three! I miss you guys.

[smeritt]

So i thought the rest of my junior year would be a cake walk. NO! I have about 5 major projects due by the end of may and then have regents exams argghhhhhhh.

In other news for prom my girlfriend has a black dress with white on it so I decided to get her a dozen white roses. God I rule.

[whiteysax]

oh yeah...

me 4 :p

[Popeye2003]

Jesus, I did so badly on my test yesterday. At least the one I took today was good.

[gbs3769]

Me three! I miss you guys.
What shows are you going to this year?

- Primo

[gbs3769]

In other news for prom my girlfriend has a black dress with white on it so I decided to get her a dozen white roses. God I rule.
Nice. White Roses rock.

- Primo

[davehead34]

Reason #459 why I absolutely love San Diego: Being able to get on the guestlist to the club where Sports Illustrated models were having one of their SI Swimsuit Models party. Yeah, last night was awesome.

[Popeye2003]

Reason #459 why I absolutely love San Diego: Being able to get on the guestlist to the club where Sports Illustrated models were having one of their SI Swimsuit Models party. Yeah, last night was awesome.
:bounce

[davehead34]

Have you guys been to the DMBc forum lately? What the fuck is going on over there?! I can't remember the last time so many assholes posted so much redundant shit on there in such a short period of time.

[gbs3769]

Have you guys been to the DMBc forum lately? What the fuck is going on over there?! I can't remember the last time so many assholes posted so much redundant shit on there in such a short period of time.
I don't know. I avoid dmbc unless someone tells me I should go in there and make fun of someone.

- Primo

[davehead34]

I don't know. I avoid dmbc unless someone tells me I should go in there and make fun of someone.

- Primo

There are many in need of being ridiculed in there right now.

[whiteysax]

I check it when my subscribed threads aren't getting a lot of posts just for something to do... once in a while there's something interesting to dive into... but I agree... so much repetition... that got REAL old last year after the SU release... same old shit, different day...

[DMBfan41]

girlfriend has been MIA for a day now, getting concerned....

[gbs3769]

Man. I'm sorry. Things start looking up for me in my relationship and then they start looking down for you guys. I'm sorry.

- Primo

[DMBfan41]

im more concerned for her. Yesterday was the wake of her grandfather. She called me twice from her mom's phone and her brother's phone. Her phone died.

And when I call, it goes right to her voicemail, which means either her phone is off or it's still dead.

I just want to get in contact with her and make sure she's alright

[gbs3769]

I just want to get in contact with her and make sure she's alright
Try her house phone?

- Primo

[DMBfan41]

Try her house phone?

- Primo

ha, i don't have it. she got a new number, i never got it

[gbs3769]

Try the phone book. Or calling information. I'm sure you know what town she lives in and what her last name is. And maybe even her address.

- Primo

[DMBfan41]

no need to panic, she just called.

apparently she lost her phone after it died, ha. She's a spaz.

[JenLuvsDMB]

What shows are you going to this year?

- Primo

Ack. No DMB as of yet - trying to round up some $$ because I'm broke as a joke. Lame. Other than that I'll be hitting up some indie band acts that sell tickets for $12.

[Jessica41]

So i thought the rest of my junior year would be a cake walk. NO! I have about 5 major projects due by the end of may and then have regents exams argghhhhhhh.

In other news for prom my girlfriend has a black dress with white on it so I decided to get her a dozen white roses. God I rule.

white roses are the best :thumbsup

[Koreelove]

I just found out the ex is getting married......I could cry :(


I'm happy for him, but damn...it hurts to find out stuff like that

[DMBfan41]

ah, the feeling of a one-sided relationship. If this summer is just gonna be an up and down relationship, oh boy

[whiteysax]

ah, the feeling of a one-sided relationship. If this summer is just gonna be an up and down relationship, oh boy
Get on the boat!!! Get on the boat!!! etc etc...
I hear ya man... I'm confident my situation will improve when she gets out of Virginia and moves up here. It isn't even a distance issue... it's a situational issue... but if she's lying and my instincts are wrong, and the drama doesn't go away, I'll be back on the market by mid July. I love her... but I'm not feeling the "HAVE to be with her, NEED her all the time" that she's feeling for me. And we've talked about this. And it upsets her, but she accepts it and things have actually improved as far as us not pissing each other off like we used to. Cause she knows why I've been short with her and I know where she's coming from. It could be a very uplifting and fun summer, or a very hard, frustrating summer... regardless, PacPine is gonna be a PARTY!!!! (a much needed one I'm predicting!)

[DMBfan41]

and i'm the one trying to lean away from the feeling of HAVing to be with her, and NEEDing her all the time.

I love her, i truly do. But, I need to stop feeling this way. I need to realize that it's summer, and we are not going to see each other like at school. Just something that has to be dealt with, and if this is meant to be, then we'll be together when next semester starts.

PacPine is overrated, people need to hop on the ScranDalls tour!

[JenLuvsDMB]

Good morning everyone! Jar, thanks for the comment on MySpace, I really do need to get my ass back in here more. Hopefully work dies down a bit now that I got some stuff taken care of.

[DMBfan41]

well i miss ya :)

[JenLuvsDMB]

Awww! I miss you, too! :)

[whiteysax]

and i'm the one trying to lean away from the feeling of HAVing to be with her, and NEEDing her all the time.

I love her, i truly do. But, I need to stop feeling this way. I need to realize that it's summer, and we are not going to see each other like at school. Just something that has to be dealt with, and if this is meant to be, then we'll be together when next semester starts.

PacPine is overrated, people need to hop on the ScranDalls tour!
ScranDulls :lol I live 1 1/2 hrs from scranton and so far I'm planning on skipping it ($$)
My problems was I jump in real quick with the NEED and WANT (especially after 3 yrs of being alone) but quickly slid into wanting a balance of her and my normal life of living with my roommates and doing my own thing. Got to be a challenge, but we talk about it a lot now.
Good luck, bro... just keep working at it and keep things out in the open. That's my best advice

[smeritt]

Dont you all realize its all about the SpacShey god.....

[whiteysax]

Personally I'm looking looking forward to the ultimate PacPineSheyVille... BOOyah!

[dmbphan041]

anyone up fer some pitty sex? anyone.....

[whiteysax]

anyone up fer some pitty sex? anyone.....
*wants to comment REALLY bad* ;)

[dmbphan041]

*wants to comment REALLY bad* ;)

give er

[DMBfan41]

someone asked her out today. she said she has a boyfriend.

Now that made me smile. I think everything will be alright. We're talking more, and i'll see her next saturday.

As long as we communicate over the summer, see other once and a while, we'll be ok.

[smeritt]

Personally I'm looking looking forward to the ultimate PacPineSheyVille... BOOyah!DarPacShey is better. Though you do have the pine which i lack

[JenLuvsDMB]

someone asked her out today. she said she has a boyfriend.

Now that made me smile. I think everything will be alright. We're talking more, and i'll see her next saturday.

As long as we communicate over the summer, see other once and a while, we'll be ok.

Yay. :) It's always good to hear when things work out.

[whiteysax]

Yay. :) It's always good to hear when things work out.
indeed :thumbsup

[davehead34]

I just found out the ex is getting married......I could cry :(


I'm happy for him, but damn...it hurts to find out stuff like that

:hug

[Jessica41]

I think its all about the StarHershnton!

[JenLuvsDMB]

Monday's blow.

[DMBfan41]

won't someone come to Randall's with me??

[gbs3769]

I can't. Sorry bro.

- Primo

[JenLuvsDMB]

I would if I didn't live in Michigan. :)

[davehead34]

won't someone come to Randall's with me??

I would if I could get the time off. I don't even have tickets to my SoCal shows yet, and I'm not even sure I'll be able to get the time off work for Fenway (it's about 50/50).

[JenLuvsDMB]

Chase, I like the last line of your sig. :)

[whiteysax]

Chase, I like the last line of your sig. :)
I concur wholeheartedly! :thumbsup:thumbsup

[il bacio dolce]

I haven't seen you guys in forever.. which is weird because I've had all kinda boy issues lately.

Remember when I said a guy I knew in high school found me on MySpace? Well, here's the story. He was my first love and he broke my heart. We'd met on vacation and it was a long distance thing. He eventually broke it off, rather harshly, telling me to leave him alone. So I did. I burned everything that reminded me of him, pictures, letters, flowers I'd kept even, and I moved on and forgot about him for years.

So today, I'm in a two year relationship with a man whom I live with. I'm busy with school and work, I've been through a lot of things and I've changed since high school... One day I get a random email on MySpace from this boy I used to love who broke my heart. I'm a bit hesitant at the beginning but I eventually let him back in. We're totally in to eachother at first, and things kind of get heavy fast. All of a sudden he tells me he doesn't want a relationship. No explanation, just basically a statement of "This is what I want, whether you like it or not." So I'm heartbroken, but with the long history we've had I don't want to totally say goodbye at first. I want to try being friends.

For a couple of weeks now I have been totally stressed out. I've been tired and irritable and unfocused, and I've been drinking every night (okay party because I can, as I've just turned 21).. and I've been a mess. I decided to say goodbye to him for good. I told him that he is no good for me... all he's ever done is lead me on only to totally crush me. I can't handle it anymore, so I said goodbye.





















Wow. Such drama. Glad that's over. BOYS BAD!! :lol

[Shagadelic]

I haven't seen you guys in forever.. which is weird because I've had all kinda boy issues lately.

Remember when I said a guy I knew in high school found me on MySpace? Well, here's the story. He was my first love and he broke my heart. We'd met on vacation and it was a long distance thing. He eventually broke it off, rather harshly, telling me to leave him alone. So I did. I burned everything that reminded me of him, pictures, letters, flowers I'd kept even, and I moved on and forgot about him for years.

So today, I'm in a two year relationship with a man whom I live with. I'm busy with school and work, I've been through a lot of things and I've changed since high school... One day I get a random email on MySpace from this boy I used to love who broke my heart. I'm a bit hesitant at the beginning but I eventually let him back in. We're totally in to eachother at first, and things kind of get heavy fast. All of a sudden he tells me he doesn't want a relationship. No explanation, just basically a statement of "This is what I want, whether you like it or not." So I'm heartbroken, but with the long history we've had I don't want to totally say goodbye at first. I want to try being friends.

For a couple of weeks now I have been totally stressed out. I've been tired and irritable and unfocused, and I've been drinking every night (okay party because I can, as I've just turned 21).. and I've been a mess. I decided to say goodbye to him for good. I told him that he is no good for me... all he's ever done is lead me on only to totally crush me. I can't handle it anymore, so I said goodbye.





















Wow. Such drama. Glad that's over. BOYS BAD!! :lol


Whoa, whoa, whoa, so you cheated on your boyfriend too, or did it not come to that?

[il bacio dolce]

Just kind of like "Oh my god I can't believe I found you" kind of emotionally heavy, not physically. Just to he point where it was on my mind too much.

[Shagadelic]

Just kind of like "Oh my god I can't believe I found you" kind of emotionally heavy, not physically. Just to he point where it was on my mind too much.


got'cha, you and I have talked before....even by email....I've altered my appearance. If you remember you asked me a few months back if I was going to heaterfest or some shit like that in cleveland....you recall...if not no biggie, just wanted you to know....

[il bacio dolce]

Who are you?

[Shagadelic]

Who are you?

don't really want to get into here....I tried to find you on myspace around pittsburgh but no luck....don't worry about it, i'll figure out a way to tell ya....

[il bacio dolce]

myspace.com/dmbninfan

Or IM me on AOL. everydayrecently

[davehead34]

Chase, I like the last line of your sig. :)

I concur wholeheartedly!

Thanks guys! :D You guys comment are the first to notice them :)

[davehead34]

Cassie - I'm getting you this shirt for your next birthday: http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=241751

[il bacio dolce]

:lol OMG.

[JenLuvsDMB]

Thanks guys! :D You guys comment are the first to notice them :)

I've been meaning to say that for a few days now, I'm surprised no-one has said anything yet! :D

[JenLuvsDMB]

:hug for Cassie!

[davehead34]

So anyways...

I was hanging out with my neighbor on Sunday and something happened that, quite honestly, confused the hell out of me. Let me explain...

It was Sunday, and Sundays are "Sopranos Sundays." I wake up, usually very hungover, and instantly start making my sauce, or, as Primo has called it, a "gravy." It's the best sauce you've ever had. Seriously. I finished making the sauce early (around 3:00) so my room mates and I opted to walk across the street to the beach :D with a cooler of beer where we imbibed alcohol at a completely irresponsible rate. We pack up a few hours later and walk back to the house where I run into my neighbor (we'll call him Bob) and his cute female friend (we'll call her Jill). I've met Jill a few times, but I was always partying (i.e.: drunk) with a large crowd and never made an effort to pursue her strictly because I was under the assumption that she was dating my neighbor. So here I am standing in the driveway and she yells "Chase! How're you doing?" We exchanged pleasantries and such all the while hoping for Jeff to chime in and say her name so I didn't feel like a dick for not saying her name, but that never happened. At least, not for another 10 minutes or so.

Jeff invites me inside to play in a ping pong tournament and I oblige. We're all playing having a good time and she finally asks me, "You don't even know my name, do you?" There was no easy way out of this one. "Sorry, but no. I've seen you a million times, and I think you're awesome (she is), but I'm always pretty faded when I hear your name." There. I said it. Now I only feel 90% awkward. Then she said, "How can you not know my name? I'm always asking Jeff about you!" :eek Now I really feel like a dick. It was at this point when I realized that they weren't dating.

Fast forward 20 minutes. We're still playing ping pong and, of course, we're all still talking and having a great time. Somehow, I really have no idea, but the topic of relationships comes up. The only noteworthy passage from this conversation was when I said how I was under the impression that they were both dating. Jill sharply retorts, "I'm not dating ANYONE" and Jeff follows suit stating the exact same thing with exceptional emphasis on ANYONE. Then there was a look - Jill looked at Jeff and Jeff returns the glance. Then they look at me. Then I no longer felt 90% awkward - it jumped right back up to 100%, perhaps even 118%. It got pretty wierd. Ping pong continued and it was almost time for the Sopranos. Time to head inside!

I invite them over for dinner, we eat and watch Sopranos. I got vibes from this girl like you don't even know. I'm fairly certain that she likes me, but I don't know how much, and, more importantly, didn't know if she liked my good friend and neighbor, Jeff.

I saw Jeff yesterday in the driveway and said, "Man, you're friend Jill... she's just a little, you know, wierd. But very cool, but kinda weird." He was very much in agreement. I meant to ask him if he liked her, if she liked him, if she liked me, etc..., but didn't. I choked.

I probably won't pursue her just because of the headache I'm certain to inherit in the process, but have you guys ever been in one of these situations? They're awkward as hell!

[whiteysax]

man chase... that's what you get for being a sexy bastard!
seriously though... can't really relate. i've always had to pursue my gf's... never had any of teh really come on to me. but if you get the feeling she's going ot be a headache.... avoid it!!! i'm currently assessing my situation and making my next moves very carefully... you don't want a situation where you're ready to finish things before they get started.

[DMBfan41]

Cass, come on, you gotta make your myspace a little bit cooler than that!

[davehead34]

man chase... that's what you get for being a sexy bastard!
seriously though... can't really relate. i've always had to pursue my gf's... never had any of teh really come on to me. but if you get the feeling she's going ot be a headache.... avoid it!!! i'm currently assessing my situation and making my next moves very carefully... you don't want a situation where you're ready to finish things before they get started.

:thumbsup Agreed, but I'm not so sure about the sexy bastard part! :lol

[davehead34]

Cass, come on, you gotta make your myspace a little bit cooler than that!

:thumbsup Agreed. That's some lame ass shit, Cass. Lame.:ggoat

[JenLuvsDMB]

*runs to Cassie's MySpace page...

[JenLuvsDMB]

Well I was going to add you as a friend Cassie, but I don't think you are accepting just anyone...

Meanwhile Chase, I'm sending you a request too!

Edit: Just kidding. Hmph!

[whiteysax]

Ah... the myspace parade... the name in my sig links you to another cool myspace :p

[il bacio dolce]

Why can't I recieve friend requests??

If you need my email address to do it it's cassie.foster@yahoo.com

[il bacio dolce]

And mine just isn't difficult to look at and doesn't rape your browser's bandwidth or whatever.

[DMBfan41]

ha ha, mine does!

www.myspace.com/jaredscott

[whiteysax]

ha ha, mine does!

www.myspace.com/jaredscott (http://www.myspace.com/jaredscott)
hahah... bandwidth whore!!!!




ps... you've been added :cool

[JenLuvsDMB]

Okay I just sent requests to Cassie and Whitey. Heheheh. :) I'm already Jar's friend, so I don't get the threesome pleasure that could have been.

[Shagadelic]

Why can't I recieve friend requests??

If you need my email address to do it it's cassie.foster@yahoo.com


It's because you have it set to private....

[JenLuvsDMB]

I probably won't pursue her just because of the headache I'm certain to inherit in the process, but have you guys ever been in one of these situations? They're awkward as hell!

But aren't we all headaches really? ;)

[whiteysax]

Okay I just sent requests to Cassie and Whitey. Heheheh. :) I'm already Jar's friend, so I don't get the threesome pleasure that could have been.
you will be accepted when I get home (the internet here at school blocks myspace... bastards!)




... wait.... what? threesome?? :eek

[whiteysax]

But aren't we all headaches really? ;)
No comment...













:thumbsup

[JenLuvsDMB]

you will be accepted when I get home (the internet here at school blocks myspace... bastards!)




... wait.... what? threesome?? :eek

Heheheh. Sorry, my dirty side likes to come out every now and again. Don't tell anyone! Shhhhhhhhhhhh. :evil

[Jessica41]

Cassie - I'm getting you this shirt for your next birthday: http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=241751

:lol :lol

[Jessica41]

So anyways...

I was hanging out with my neighbor on Sunday and something happened that, quite honestly, confused the hell out of me. Let me explain...

It was Sunday, and Sundays are "Sopranos Sundays." I wake up, usually very hungover, and instantly start making my sauce, or, as Primo has called it, a "gravy." It's the best sauce you've ever had. Seriously. I finished making the sauce early (around 3:00) so my room mates and I opted to walk across the street to the beach :D with a cooler of beer where we imbibed alcohol at a completely irresponsible rate. We pack up a few hours later and walk back to the house where I run into my neighbor (we'll call him Bob) and his cute female friend (we'll call her Jill). I've met Jill a few times, but I was always partying (i.e.: drunk) with a large crowd and never made an effort to pursue her strictly because I was under the assumption that she was dating my neighbor. So here I am standing in the driveway and she yells "Chase! How're you doing?" We exchanged pleasantries and such all the while hoping for Jeff to chime in and say her name so I didn't feel like a dick for not saying her name, but that never happened. At least, not for another 10 minutes or so.

Jeff invites me inside to play in a ping pong tournament and I oblige. We're all playing having a good time and she finally asks me, "You don't even know my name, do you?" There was no easy way out of this one. "Sorry, but no. I've seen you a million times, and I think you're awesome (she is), but I'm always pretty faded when I hear your name." There. I said it. Now I only feel 90% awkward. Then she said, "How can you not know my name? I'm always asking Jeff about you!" :eek Now I really feel like a dick. It was at this point when I realized that they weren't dating.

Fast forward 20 minutes. We're still playing ping pong and, of course, we're all still talking and having a great time. Somehow, I really have no idea, but the topic of relationships comes up. The only noteworthy passage from this conversation was when I said how I was under the impression that they were both dating. Jill sharply retorts, "I'm not dating ANYONE" and Jeff follows suit stating the exact same thing with exceptional emphasis on ANYONE. Then there was a look - Jill looked at Jeff and Jeff returns the glance. Then they look at me. Then I no longer felt 90% awkward - it jumped right back up to 100%, perhaps even 118%. It got pretty wierd. Ping pong continued and it was almost time for the Sopranos. Time to head inside!

I invite them over for dinner, we eat and watch Sopranos. I got vibes from this girl like you don't even know. I'm fairly certain that she likes me, but I don't know how much, and, more importantly, didn't know if she liked my good friend and neighbor, Jeff.

I saw Jeff yesterday in the driveway and said, "Man, you're friend Jill... she's just a little, you know, wierd. But very cool, but kinda weird." He was very much in agreement. I meant to ask him if he liked her, if she liked him, if she liked me, etc..., but didn't. I choked.

I probably won't pursue her just because of the headache I'm certain to inherit in the process, but have you guys ever been in one of these situations? They're awkward as hell!

Wow.... just ask already!
and I thought your friend Jeff was named Bob? :)

[JenLuvsDMB]

Jess! Hi! :)

[Jessica41]

Hellloooooooo, how are you doing today?

[JenLuvsDMB]

I hope I find you feeling healthy...

Heheheh.

I'm good, how are you!?

[whiteysax]

Heheheh. Sorry, my dirty side likes to come out every now and again. Don't tell anyone! Shhhhhhhhhhhh. :evil
:angel ;) :hump

[whiteysax]

jess!!! what's shakin?!

[DMBfan41]

Okay I just sent requests to Cassie and Whitey. Heheheh. :) I'm already Jar's friend, so I don't get the threesome pleasure that could have been.

no, no threesome. We' ve been having fun for quite a while now ;)

[davehead34]

and I thought your friend Jeff was named Bob? :)

:eek

[davehead34]

Meanwhile Chase, I'm sending you a request too!



:hug

[DMBfan41]

am i friends with you chase? i'm not sure

[davehead34]

But aren't we all headaches really? ;)

Touche'. I suppose that explains my constant migraines! :shrug

[davehead34]

am i friends with you chase? i'm not sure

Yes, you are. I know this because I get abou 1000 of your bulletins daily. :lol

[whiteysax]

Yes, you are. I know this because I get abou 1000 of your bulletins daily. :lol
I live on bulletins... since I rarely get comments or message except from my gf :p

[davehead34]

I live on bulletins... since I rarely get comments or message except from my gf :p

Is this a subtle hint? :lol

[whiteysax]

Is this a subtle hint? :lol
hahaha... not really... since i don't exactly LEAVE that many comments either

[DMBfan41]

Yes, you are. I know this because I get abou 1000 of your bulletins daily. :lol

ha, sorry. There is really nothing else to do on myspace, ha

[whiteysax]

ha, sorry. There is really nothing else to do on myspace, ha
i follow my groups pretty close... some of the dmb groups are quite superficial though... i enjoy going in there and hi-jacking as many threads as possible

[JenLuvsDMB]

:hug

:hug

And on another note, not ALL of us are headache givers. :)

[JenLuvsDMB]

no, no threesome. We' ve been having fun for quite a while now ;)

Heheheh...

;)

[DMBfan41]

theres a reason, i voted for you for hottest Ant, Jen :)

[whiteysax]

:hug

And on another note, not ALL of us are headache givers. :)
maybe i'll have to find me one of those one day :p

[JenLuvsDMB]

theres a reason, i voted for you for hottest Ant, Jen :)

Awwwww. :o

Thank you!

[JenLuvsDMB]

maybe i'll have to find me one of those one day :p

My ex told me, "Iin this world about 90% of girls are crazy...somehow you fall into the other 10%. How did you manage to do that?"

I think he's right. Most of us are pretty hard to take. But that doesn't mean a certain percentage of guys aren't either. Must...find...balance...;)

[davehead34]

hahaha... not really... since i don't exactly LEAVE that many comments either

Yeah, neither do I. That's because I'm really never on it, though, because I can't get on the Internet at home. :shrug

[il bacio dolce]

So last night I'm trying to get the point across to this guy that I have no interest in being casual friends with him. He doesn't get that I loved him once and he broke my heart so I cannot just be okay with being friends. I don't want to be friends. I don't know why he wants to be my friend so badly. But it's pointless.

[davehead34]

ha, sorry. There is really nothing else to do on myspace, ha

No worries man! Actually, I learned about the DMB summer tourdates first from your bulletin! Thanks dude! :)

[davehead34]

:hug

And on another note, not ALL of us are headache givers. :)

I know I know. I'm just waiting to actually meet one of them. ;)

[Shagadelic]

So last night I'm trying to get the point across to this guy that I have no interest in being casual friends with him. He doesn't get that I loved him once and he broke my heart so I cannot just be okay with being friends. I don't want to be friends. I don't know why he wants to be my friend so badly. But it's pointless.


Why don't you just tell him to get bent? I mean he crushed you and now your giving him explainations. Unless....:rolleyes :eek .....nevermind.....

[davehead34]

theres a reason, i voted for you for hottest Ant, Jen :)

I had no idea there were so many cute chicks on Ants. That thread cracks me up. There are so many people dying to get some sort of credit in there. :lol Gotta love the Internet!

[davehead34]

Must...find...balance...;)

:thumbsup Agreed. Balance and patience.

[davehead34]

So last night I'm trying to get the point across to this guy that I have no interest in being casual friends with him. He doesn't get that I loved him once and he broke my heart so I cannot just be okay with being friends. I don't want to be friends. I don't know why he wants to be my friend so badly. But it's pointless.

I'm going to agree with Shag on this one. If he can't accept your decision tell him to go screw. We're all adults here.

[JenLuvsDMB]

Cassie - I have to wonder if this guy really just wants to be friends or if he has some other intentions in mind. But either way, he should respect your decision and if he can't do that, then he can piss off.

[il bacio dolce]

Cassie - I have to wonder if this guy really just wants to be friends or if he has some other intentions in mind. But either way, he should respect your decision and if he can't do that, then he can piss off.
Well he keeps saying he doesn't want a relationship with me and I keep saying I understand that and it's exactly why we can't just be friends.

I don't see the point... he says we don't even have to talk or see eachother if I don't want... well, then what are we doing??

[davehead34]

Well he keeps saying he doesn't want a relationship with me and I keep saying I understand that and it's exactly why we can't just be friends.

I don't see the point... he says we don't even have to talk or see eachother if I don't want... well, then what are we doing??

So you have a difficult being just friends with him?

[il bacio dolce]

So you have a difficult being just friends with him?
That is correct, sir. He just won't accept that. I says, you know I loved and you broke my heart. We can't have a relationship, I've accepted it, but I'm never going to be okay with being friends. He just keeps arguing that I should be okay with just being friends! I don't wanna! :lorraine

[Shagadelic]

I went after my ex girlfriend with those intentions (GF not friend) and when we broke up she wanted to be friends and I said no and she could figure out why. I told her I never ever looked at her as a friend, I have plenty of friends, I wanted you as my girlfirend, she accepted it after awhile....

[JenLuvsDMB]

You'll probably end up pining after him all the time, even if you don't want to. I think you're doing the right thing by telling him no. I mean, you could try hanging out and stuff to see how it goes, but it's going to be hard on your heart.

[Shagadelic]

Fucking drama queen....

[davehead34]

... when we broke up she wanted to be friends and I said no and she could figure out why. I told her I never ever looked at her as a friend...

:thumbsup Agreed. I have a very difficult time digressing in my relationships.

[DMBfan41]

hey guys, could you survive a relationship for a year and a half without sex?

[davehead34]

hey guys, could you survive a relationship for a year and a half without sex?

Absolutely not, and I know that may make me sound like a pig, but no.

[DMBfan41]

Absolutely not, and I know that may make me sound like a pig, but no.

what about if you really do like the girl

[davehead34]

what about if you really do like the girl

Dude.

Compare sex to one thing that you equally love/like. Now imagine not doing that for 18 months. Scary. I wouldn't date someone with that mindset so, thankfully, I don't have to worry about that popping up. Why?

[JenLuvsDMB]

Chase, you are so not a pig for saying that.

And my answer is hell to the no.

[davehead34]

Chase, you are so not a pig for saying that.

And my answer is hell to the no.

Thanks, Jen. I just don't know why someone I like/love would ever want to deprive me of something like that for such a substantial amount of time.

[DMBfan41]

Dude.

Compare sex to one thing that you equally love/like. Now imagine not doing that for 18 months. Scary. I wouldn't date someone with that mindset so, thankfully, I don't have to worry about that popping up. Why?

ah, my friend ended a relationship after a year and a half with a girl because he didn't get any.

And he wants some, because he's still carrying out the V

[JenLuvsDMB]

No prob.

Jar - is there a religious issue at hand or is it just some random time limit?

[JenLuvsDMB]

Oh...I see now. Hmm...

[DMBfan41]

No prob.

Jar - is there a religious issue at hand or is it just some random time limit?

i dunno, if its religious, just her parents wishes. And he is just tired of it

[davehead34]

ah, my friend ended a relationship after a year and a half with a girl because he didn't get any.

And he wants some, because he's still carrying out the V

I can certainly empathize with the man especially if he's the one with the V card.

[whiteysax]

hey guys, could you survive a relationship for a year and a half without sex?
If I felt we were really compatible and there was a future with her, i would respect her wishes and go without sex for that long. hell... i went 3 years before my current gf...
is she no go with just the sex or with all intimate contact?

[il bacio dolce]

I think Jon's whole deal is that he has always tried to sell me on Christianity. He's always made a HUGE deal about where I stood on the issue. I think that the reason he wants to keep in touch is that he wants to be there if I ever decide to move my life in that direction. It's not that I won't, but I am sick of him treating me like his pet project. It's kind of messed up to me. We have hooked up a few times, and he's flat out told me he regrets it and doesn't want a romantic relationship with me. But I can't get my mind around why he wants to stay in touch.. Maybe he's hoping one day I'll change in the way he wants me to and then he can consider being with me.

Maybe I should wait a few years, call him, and pretend to be that kind of person he wants and see what his reaction is.

[whiteysax]

I think Jon's whole deal is that he has always tried to sell me on Christianity. He's always made a HUGE deal about where I stood on the issue. I think that the reason he wants to keep in touch is that he wants to be there if I ever decide to move my life in that direction. It's not that I won't, but I am sick of him treating me like his pet project. It's kind of messed up to me. We have hooked up a few times, and he's flat out told me he regrets it and doesn't want a romantic relationship with me. But I can't get my mind around why he wants to stay in touch.. Maybe he's hoping one day I'll change in the way he wants me to and then he can consider being with me.

Maybe I should wait a few years, call him, and pretend to be that kind of person he wants and see what his reaction is.
You should never be expected to change for someone else. I'm not saying it's a bad idea to believe in something and follow a faith. I think it's very important... but for him to keep you around for the sole purpose of getting you to change, that's not right. You need to be yourself and live your life. I need to remind myself that every now and then. He should realize that you are who you are and if you decide to go in that direction, it will be under your own influence.

[DMBfan41]

If I felt we were really compatible and there was a future with her, i would respect her wishes and go without sex for that long. hell... i went 3 years before my current gf...
is she no go with just the sex or with all intimate contact?

i am not sure

[il bacio dolce]

I sincerely think that's what his motives are...... :(

[davehead34]

I think Jon's whole deal is that he has always tried to sell me on Christianity. He's always made a HUGE deal about where I stood on the issue. I think that the reason he wants to keep in touch is that he wants to be there if I ever decide to move my life in that direction. It's not that I won't, but I am sick of him treating me like his pet project. It's kind of messed up to me. We have hooked up a few times, and he's flat out told me he regrets it and doesn't want a romantic relationship with me. But I can't get my mind around why he wants to stay in touch.. Maybe he's hoping one day I'll change in the way he wants me to and then he can consider being with me.

Maybe I should wait a few years, call him, and pretend to be that kind of person he wants and see what his reaction is.

All I say is let whatever happens happen. Here's my philosophy of life: go with the flow. Original, huh? Seriously, though. Just go through life doing your thing. Let things happen as they go, but don't go digging in the past. Things are left in the past for a reason.

[il bacio dolce]

You know he has a similar "motto" which is "Let it go."
What a tool. :lol

[Jessica41]

I hope I find you feeling healthy...

Heheheh.

I'm good, how are you!?

tired! I'll be working on my 3rd interview this week tomorrow. and they are all great jobs, i just think everyone is scared to hire me b/c im going back to school in the fall.

[Jessica41]

jess!!! what's shakin?!

not much, jobhunting, and needing $$$

[Jessica41]

:eek

:lol :lol

[Jessica41]

hey guys, could you survive a relationship for a year and a half without sex?

definitely not

[davehead34]

not much, jobhunting, and needing $$$

:thumbsup I'll be looking for a job soon, too.

[davehead34]

:lol :lol

:ggoat

Happy 9,000th post, Chase!

Thanks, Chase.

:hug

[whiteysax]

not much, jobhunting, and needing $$$
i hear ya... i'm looking for a summer teaching thing... it has to schedule around my dmb shows though ;)

[whiteysax]

i am not sure
well it sounds like a decision that will require you weighing your morals and needs... i'm all for no sex before marriage... unfortunately my will power isn't that strong and i do believe it adds another dimension to the relationship... however if i found a girl that wanted to wait til marriage, it would almost be extra incentive to wait for me. but i was raised to believe sex was to wait for marriage... it really is a personal decision. you could always give it a shot with her and see if she is worth waiting for or if you see it won't work out, then nothing lost... at least you'll know

[whiteysax]

I sincerely think that's what his motives are...... :(
you don't need that... you want someone that wants you for you, not wants you for someone to "work on"... you aren't a project

[whiteysax]

and a very happy

:cool :hump :bounce :multi !!!9000!!! :multi :bounce :hump :cool


to you Chase!!!