**The Official Hopeless Romantics Thread**

[davehead34]

I'm having a pretty difficult time right now. The girl of my dreams and I just agreed to never see each other again for various reasons (I posted them in a different thread "Why do the good ones always get away" if you really want to be nosy). Life sucks. I'm depressed. I have issues with getting attached, perhaps too attached too fast. Alcohol isn't really helping me cope. I've listened to Halloween about a dozen times and I'm still struggling pretty bad. I've come to the conclusion that I am a 21 year old hopeless romantic - a disease worse than cancer and a character flaw worse than a coke habit.

So I'm wondering, is this a curse? I hear people all the time say "I'm a hopeless romantic." Bullshit! I swear to god that I must be the only one out there - at least, in Southern California area! If there really are all these poor souls meandering about this dreary, depressing world, where the hell are they? Are they all married already?! Have they become so pissed at the world that they've all secluded themselves? Because they aren't at the bars, the clubs, the beaches, the coffee shops and pretty much any other place I seem to frequent.

So, in a pathetic last ditch attempt to save what little hope I have in romance, I figured I'd seek out the other deprived, and sexually frustrated romantics. So here I am, looking. Searching.

Please use this thread to vent about any relationship that made you lose all hope in the opposite (or same, in some situations ;)) sex or just vent about how you can never find Mr. or Mrs. Right.

...and if you happen to live in Southern California and are a female between 18 and 25 feel free to PM me ;)

[King Crimson]

Man i am so sorry right now. I already posted in ur other thread. And the girl of my dreams we have gotten together and were apart for 2 months and i was torn but now were together again. So all i can say is i am a hopeless romantic as well as ya. I get to involved in relationships when they dont really mean too much (this is HS) so just keep lookin up and dont get to crazy into the alchohol and other remedies keep it sane :thumbsup

[reverend miles]

:cool

[paris72]

I use to be a hopless romantic, then this little bitch broke my heart. Now I'm happier than ever with the new woman in my life and most of my hopless romantacism is tarnished and in hiding. Aint that a bitch :shrug

[mollymm16]

im a teenage girl....of course im a hopeless romantic!!! i havent had a serious relationship in two years. lol and its been rough. holding out for college.......lol.......waiting......

[davehead34]

im a teenage girl....of course im a hopeless romantic!!! i havent had a serious relationship in two years. lol and its been rough. holding out for college.......lol.......waiting......

:lol Yeah...you'll have lots of..."relationships" in college...Just remember to always keep a condom in your wallet.

[paris72]

:lol

[mollymm16]

:lol Yeah...you'll have lots of..."relationships" in college...Just remember to always keep a condom in your wallet.

cynical cynical. thanks :rolleyes

[paris72]

Welcome to Ants. Please keep your tray tables and seats in an upright position...

[gbs3769]

If it makes you feel any better im sort of in the same boat.

My girlfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago and right before we broke up I met this amazing girl that I somehow fell in love with in the short amount of time that I have known her. Over most of last month things were going great between us, we would go out on the weekends and I stayed over at her house a couple of times and then about two weeks ago she kind of dropped off the face of the earth.

I haven't really heard from her since 4-25 except that she called me last Thursday and I ended up staying over at her house again. I've seen her out at the bars a few times since then, including both Friday and Saturday. Friday she was with some of her friends from school and we talked very briefly before she sort of disappeared for the evening. Saturday I saw her right before one of the bars closed although she didn't see me. I made sure and stuck around outside of the bar and she somewhat ignored me as she was leaving until I said hello to her as she was leaving with some other guy.

So basically, the girl that I think that I am falling for is playing with my head and it is really pissng me off.

- Matt

[mollymm16]

lol i take it back. im not a hopeless romantic. im a mean, mean bitch......nah not working for me either. *shrugs*

[paris72]

Molly, you need this shirt

http://www.nook-market.com/bizzazz_t/flogging-molly_college.jpg

[dmb1spe]

If by hopeless romantic you mean raddest fucking dude alive, then I'm in.

[paris72]

Reps for the usage of the the word Rad

[mollymm16]

Molly, you need this shirt

http://www.nook-market.com/bizzazz_t/flogging-molly_college.jpg

lol, yeah. i actually do listen to them, and i must admit, at first it was solely because of the name hahaha

[mwjorgens]

i scanned the first post, 'alcohol isnt helping me cope'? man thats pretty sad. just fall asleep watching casablanca and drinking/smoking/snorting. it will depress you big time but you will eventually get over it. thats my $.02

[davehead34]

i scanned the first post, 'alcohol isnt helping me cope'? man thats pretty sad. just fall asleep watching casablanca and drinking/smoking/snorting. it will depress you big time but you will eventually get over it. thats my $.02

Yeah, I don't use alcohol to help deal with my problems by its self. I'll drink and play guitar or drink and write or drink and sing. It usually does the trick, but I'm pretty fucked this time. I think this girl really did a number on me.

And Matt, that's rough man. I don't even know what to say. I remember you saying in a thread that you were having a rough day because of some chick. Man, being in love, though, that's rough. I wasn't quite in love with this girl, yet, but I saw myself heading in that direction at a rapid pace. Damn, that's a bitch. I probably would have beat the hell out of that guy she was with. Well, probably not, but I would have wanted to.

[gbs3769]

I'm not sure if I'm there just yet, but it's pretty damn close. It's probably just the fact that I recently broke up with my girlfriend that is doing it to me. Either way it still sucks.

I still just don't understand the call on Thursday night. If I hadn't heard from her Thursday night I would have been able to write her off as me just being a random hookup. But you just don't call someone up and invite them over to just talk and go to sleep. If her intention was to hook up, I could have understood it and understood where we were at.

- Matt

[PilotC150]

I can't come up with exactly what to say right now, but I know how you guys feel....

http://antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?t=126497

[Gregb486]

holy shit man, you sound exactly like me. my love life consists of me aiming for someone out of my league, then getting with them, becoming attached, and having them dump me. and im starting to realize its a cycle. the girl im sort of seeing now just told me last night that im too emotional. im about the toughest guy your gonna meet, but im an extremely emotional guy too - in all aspects of my life. the worst part is just when i think i find the girl that can actually understand me and is mature and smart enough to listen to me, i start to realize they just don't want to, whether they are capable or not.

haha, at least you didn't fly half way across the country to find out the love of your life is fucking some other guy, hahahaa............fuck.

anyways, i know exactly how you feel. i personally start with playing halloween, then say goodbye, then some devil incesantly.

[rebubula07]

The Golden Rule: Make it a habit to hit on every girl you’re interested in that looks at you twice, regardless of where you are. (within reason, of course) Once again: this will not hurt! Also, see rule #9.

1) No matter how good things might look at the beginning of a relationship, just assume it’s going to

fall apart and be pleasantly surprised if it doesn’t.

2) When contemplating a relationship, assuming a woman is being logical is folly, and will only result in lost sleep.

3)

Women are like a bus; there will always be another one along.

4)

When doubtful about the reception of an attempt of a first kiss, be sure to give it three tries, if possible. Chances are the woman has reconsidered her first rejection, which may have been simply a reflex. No harm in making sure.

5) If you’re in the dorm/apartment wall-covering phase, remove all posters of bimbos and models and replace them with pictures/posters of couples. This whispers that you aren’t afraid of relationships, you are sensitive and, most importantly, sets you apart from every other ass-wipe on campus. Said wall adornments will also likely be what the woman will be looking at when you’re working rule #4.

6) If it feels like you may be calling her too soon at the beginning of a relationship, you absolutely are. In the grand scheme of things, two days ain’t gonna kill you. The same time frame flew by when you were dateless, so just chill, or go dateless some more.

7) Never, ever, assume you have a “full plate” and pass up attempting to getingt a good number when you can, (unless you have agreed to monogamy, of course). Remember, the whims of women could easily collapse all three other prospects you have on the same day.

8) Back away from long distance relationships. The money you save will finance plenty of mingling in your town, which inevitably leads to hook-ups.

9) If you get a second, sustained look from a woman in a social setting, you have a green light, and the opening line is all but irrelevant. A self-introduction and discussion of hometowns is all you need to get started.

10) Always chat up her marginal friend(s) and remember their names. These people have major influences on your target’s view of you, and they need to be treated with charm and respect.

11) For pursuing a girl in a group of people, try to chat up one of the guys that are involved for an inside track on information and possibly an introduction.

12) Very important: mention the girl’s boyfriend within the first five minutes. If she has one, you have wasted very little time.

13) This truth is self-evident, but it needs to be stressed anyway: if you don’t try talking to a women of interest, you definitely will not get a date with her.

14) In turn, the more you talk to them, the better you get at it. Just like everything else: practice makes perfect.

15) Avoid projecting your intellect onto your target. You both know what is going on here, but nevertheless her intelligence will not be insulted by compliments and general bullshit, even though you think they sound ridiculous.

16) If you manage to land a top-notch hottie do not go on and on about how attractive she is. Instead, compliment her intellect, even if she’s a moron.

17) Listen, listen, listen. Going on and on about yourself is a sign of nerves that has been the downfall of many a would-be Casanova. Briefly fill her in about stuff she asks about, but spend most of your time talking about her. This will set you apart from 95% of other dildos that hit on her and it will also make her feel comfortable.

18) Try your best to not look at other women passing by.

19) Absolutely no flowers until at least date three, and probably later than that.

20) Consider bowling for an early date. This will show how she deals with competitive situations, possibly lends excuses for hugging, and you can check out her ass and carriage to your hearts’ content. Oh, and you can drink.

21) If you’ve been seeing a woman for at least a few dates and she frequently raises her upper lip and/or rolls her eyes in response to your comments, dump her. You are only beating her to the punch, and that’s always nice.

22) Suggest lunch as a first date. For the woman it’s safer, and for you, it has a strict timeframe, so if she’s no good, you’ve only wasted an hour, lunch menu prices and haven’t had to buy drinks. Also, daylight is the ultimate “ugly light”, allowing you to make a sober assessment of her looks.

23) Don’t buy a woman a drink seconds after meeting her. It may turn out that she’s lame. Better she be lame and you still have that five bucks in your pocket.

24) Never, ever mention ex-girlfriends or wives. Ditto current girlfriends or wives.

25) If a woman has left a message unreturned, you will look like a loser if you make more than two more attempts. See rule #3 and move on.

26) Try your best to remember a girl’s number without writing it down, (famous athlete’s uniform numbers may help). There is something unappealing to a woman about having her digits written down in front of god and everybody; set yourself apart. Note: don’t try if you’re wasted.

27) When you have a prospect that’s difficult to close, make casual mention of future activities, (i.e. hiking, tennis, etc.), involving the two of you.

28) When working a prospect over the phone, be sure to be active physically instead of laying or sitting. You want to project energy, and moving about will help provide that. Also, a smile can be heard.

29) In the initial phase, back away from complimenting a particular body part. She’s heard it often before, and you should try your best be more creative than that. Limited compliments on attire is a green light, however.

[rebubula07]

30) For the love of god, just go buy some cool shoes. It’s an easy detail to cover and more chicks than you’ll ever imagine write you off immediately if you are sporting bad footwear.

31) At first glance, bride-to-be nights out can seem a tough nut to crack. Au contraire. Buy the doomed bachelorette a drink, and address the rest of the table full of hotties while you congratulate her on finally getting out of the “single” game. Mention that you’re jealous as you make eyes with the one at the table you want most.

32) Make no mention of a major age difference, and slough it off if she ever brings it up. Women can smell insecurity, and it ain’t your friend. As the legendary football coach Bear Bryant once said regarding touchdown celebrations: “Act like you’ve been there before, son.”

33) If you endeavor to juggle three or four at the same time, be sure to make a fearless assessment of your financial situation prior or your credit card balance will soar…quickly.

34) The only thing you should ever be bragging about is how good the two of you look together, but don’t overdo that, either.

35) Use the back of your hand to assess the softness of your shirt and try to wear the softest for dates. Also, learn to use fabric softener.

36) If possible, lube your subject for the first kiss by scratching the back of her neck and stroking her hair back there---that’s one of a woman’s most sensitive areas and you’ll look less oafish when you dive in.

37) Take the scissors to your pubic area when intimacy is on the horizon! Besides making your unit appear larger, excessive hair helps the funk we wonder how they stand in the first place linger, and the less of that, the better.

38) A good exit the bar strategy: ask her if she wants to go to a party, regardless of whether you actually know of one. If she says yes, you’re in. You have forced the issue, and it’s always good to look like you have somewhere better to go. Now, go to a cool neighborhood until you find a bash and crash it, looking for “Bill”, if it’s late enough, nobody will know the difference or care. Better yet if you can stock the party with her girlfriends from the bar, too.

39) Suck it up and shop solo on a Sunday afternoon during football season, for obvious reasons. “Let’s take a break and go get a margarita” would be a nice start. Also, they can be asked for opinions and see #42.

40) If you are a competent golfer, hit the driving range on a nice day and offer unsolicited pointers to one of the increasing number of hotties there trying the greatest game there is. Don’t be naïve: they know the demographics of golfers and, more importantly, their Daddies probably golf.

41) If you don’t play golf, take it up---it’s good for business.

42) To bag the hot sales clerk: pretend your girlfriend is moving so you had to break it off. You want to buy her a very nice going away gift. Debate between the store you’re in or some other two, therefore you don’t have to actually buy anything. Go for only her number, and don’t call her for two weeks.
Don’t worry---she’ll remember.

43) If one of the first things out of her mouth is: “so, what do you do?”, tell her “blow off gold-diggers”, and walk away. Unless it’s been a while or she’s the only one around, then say real estate investing, and your real job as something to pay the bills while your wealth builds.

44) If you tend to be more of a “heartless” type, make sure you have a backup plan lined up before breaking up with your current girl.

45) Although a general rule for life in general, avoid speaking disparagingly about people, but especially your ex-girlfriend. The odds are decent that you’ll be going back with her at some point, and you’ll look like more of a loser if you’ve advertised her flaws to your friends.

46) Don’t smoke pot prior to going on the hunt. We’re all stupid enough to start with, and getting high, (while it has it’s place), is the last thing we need to prepare for “working it”. Having your wits about you is must. That being said…

47) If you have established that your target probably gets baked, bong hits back at your place of the one-hitter in your car can be a great excuse for moving things to the next level, (i.e. leaving the party/bar).
Even if you don’t actually have weed, you can always blame it on something else when it’s allegedly time to smoke.

48 If you are in a slump or just for practice, hit the local middle-aged hook-up joint. Older women are bolder, and will actually hit on you, giving you a self-esteem boost. There’s also always a chance some women your age will be there, too, and you can bet that if they are, they’re “goers”.

49) Obtain a female roommate if possible. Your place be far more female-friendly, and if a one-night stand leaves something behind, you can tell your girlfriend that it must be your roommates’.

50)If a woman you’ve met mentions she has multiple furry pets, she’s probably a head case. Save a lot of time and bail!

51) Always start a tab at the bar. It saves you stip money for one thing, and it also gives you a fine excuse to squeeze in next to a lady you’d like to meet to when you close it out.

52) When at the diner after drinking late night, send a random item over to a table of ladies you wish to meet as if it's a drink. Down here, it's a bowl of grits. Anyway, the waiter will drop it off and point your way. They'll look at you while they're laughing their asses off while you act all suave and give them the "point and wink." If you can't get in from that, just shoot yourself.

53) Book/Grocery store operating: Go up to one you like and say something stupid in her ear, like it's an inside joke. She'll turn around wondering WTF and you immediately start apologizing profusely. "OMG I am SO SORRY! YOu look EXACTLY like my old roommate/fraternity little sister/whatever...I feel like SUCH a tool! What's your name anyway?" If she's cool, you're on your way, if not, nothing lost.

[PedroPSK]

Nicely done Zack, nicely done.

[il bacio dolce]

I may take the time to read that later at home. :lol
Remember: You aren't so weird or original that nobody else in the world will ever like you/be attracted to you/find compatiblity with you. If one person did, others will. Same goes for you finding someone new. There's someone else who is what you like and want, is just as good, and will make you as happy or happier.

[selkiegirl]

I'm a hopeless romantic, and I must say, when my first real love relationship ended 3 years ago, I felt many of the same emotions.
We let one another go, and I was convinced I would never find a man who I loved as deeply as him.
Then I met Freddie. I was right, I don't love Freddie as much as I loved my ex, I love him much more.
You will always treasure your first love in some capacity. You learn so much about what you want to feel in a relationship, and that feeling is something you will easily recognize when and if you do ever experience it again. "Settling" will not be an option, ever. That's a good thing! So many people settle. Out of loneliness, frustration, just the simple need to have someone in your life to spend time with, I suppose. People settle because they give up hope that there is something so much more amazing out there for them. So, they take what they can get, keep what they have. It's so sad to me.
Don't ever give up hope that you will find another hopeless romantic in this great big world. The catch is actually not to look, because they will find you, most likely when you least expect it.

[il bacio dolce]

She speaks the truth.

[davehead34]

I've told Freddie this probably countless times, but I'm so jealous of the relationship he's in right now. You guys seem perfect for each other!

:thumbsup And Zack, those are some killer words of wisdom - all 3,000 of them :lol I'm gonna copy your post and forward it to my buddies.

[PrettyPenelope]

It's nice to know there are hopeless romantics out there...it's refreshing with all the cynicism and divorce and crap.

Cheer up Chase :)

[41ravens]

If it makes you feel any better im sort of in the same boat.

My girlfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago and right before we broke up I met this amazing girl that I somehow fell in love with in the short amount of time that I have known her. Over most of last month things were going great between us, we would go out on the weekends and I stayed over at her house a couple of times and then about two weeks ago she kind of dropped off the face of the earth.

I haven't really heard from her since 4-25 except that she called me last Thursday and I ended up staying over at her house again. I've seen her out at the bars a few times since then, including both Friday and Saturday. Friday she was with some of her friends from school and we talked very briefly before she sort of disappeared for the evening. Saturday I saw her right before one of the bars closed although she didn't see me. I made sure and stuck around outside of the bar and she somewhat ignored me as she was leaving until I said hello to her as she was leaving with some other guy.

So basically, the girl that I think that I am falling for is playing with my head and it is really pissng me off.

- Matt

I'm in pretty much the same position you're in. I started hanging out with this girl last summer and we really clicked, but I had a girlfriend of 5 years at the time. Well, I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend and this girl and I started to get closer. Everything was going great and then all of the sudden she decided she wasn't in to me as much as she thought. She started seeing some other guy and it sucked. We're still really good friends and I'm convinced that she still has feelings for me, she just doesn't want to take it any further at this point in time. I'm getting better, but it sucks because I'm falling in love with this girl. Hopefully, everthing will work itself out. I'm the same as you, Chase, in that I fall for people too fast and too easily. Oh well, that's just who we are I guess. Just know that you're not alone, man, and hang in there cause things will get better.

[davehead34]

Just know that you're not alone, man, and hang in there cause things will get better.

Right on man. Things will get better, mostly around July and August (I'm seeing Jack, Trey and DMB in those months :)). Until then, we're just gonna have to roll with the punches.

And I'm getting better, Laura, don't worry :) Hey, how does June sound for the SoCal Ants meet up thing?

[MAM2STEPN]

I'm a hopeless romantic,You will always treasure your first love in some capacity. You learn so much about what you want to feel in a relationship, and that feeling is something you will easily recognize when and if you do ever experience it again. "Settling" will not be an option, ever. That's a good thing! So many people settle. Out of loneliness, frustration, just the simple need to have someone in your life to spend time with, I suppose. People settle because they give up hope that there is something so much more amazing out there for them. So, they take what they can get, keep what they have. It's so sad to me.
Don't ever give up hope that you will find another hopeless romantic in this great big world. The catch is actually not to look, because they will find you, most likely when you least expect it.From one hopeless romantic to another these are words of wisdom! I couldn't have said it better myself if I tried!:thumbsup

[41ravens]

Right on man. Things will get better, mostly around July and August (I'm seeing Jack, Trey and DMB in those months :)). Until then, we're just gonna have to roll with the punches.

haha, yeah. my good months are the beginning of june (st. louis and chicago) and then the end of july (alpine and then the day after i leave for vegas for a week). so screw chicks and here's to an awesome summer.

[JanelleM]

I dont have a romantic bone in my body...luckily my boyfriend is the complete opposite and fills in the gaps. I swear he finds something great to do for me everyday. On Sunday night he knew I had had a crazy weekend so he made me dinner and brownies also bought me a cute gift with the note "The just-because-I-love-you fairy stopped by" :angel

[davehead34]

haha, yeah. my good months are the beginning of june (st. louis and chicago) and then the end of july (alpine and then the day after i leave for vegas for a week). so screw chicks and here's to an awesome summer.

:raises glass: Agreed. Here's to a kick ass summer, tentatively, devoid of any female mishaps and filled with great shows, great people and great times! :)

[PrettyPenelope]

I think I've had my "hopeless romantic" idealism smashed to the ground tonight. :( Oh well, maybe it was about time.

[Tomriddle]

Yeah, I'd like to sign up for this. I'm going through something very similar now. :o

[taphntm]

I think I've had my "hopeless romantic" idealism smashed to the ground tonight. :( Oh well, maybe it was about time.

What do you mean?

I'm not sure if I'm mature enough to feel the same feelings y'all talk about. I am really trying to go back to the feeling I had when I was young and innocent, the same feeling I've had for people when I was in high school. I lost it somewhere along the way. I'd say I'm in a good situation now. I don't have a girlfriend, but I have potentials. I'm out of the phase of looking for girlfriends, now I'm looking for something serious; so I get the feeling back. I believe I am close, so close, and yet so far... I hate to talk about serious things. I'd rather just have fun. The smile in my opinion means much more than the thousand words that were spoken. Sometimes those words are priceless. "I love you" means it all. But to me the smile means more than any of the compliments or laughs or beautiful statements. I'm not going to say "I love you" however, unless it means I've got the feeling in me again.



p.s. great list Zack

[taphntm]

and yeah, I have my ex to blame for screwing up my ideal thoughts of a relationship and making me lose that feeling because I felt forced into something I hated. She wanted a serious relationship from me and I wanted her to go away. The stupid girl wouldn't take "no" for an answer. I had to break up with her repeatedly. I never wanted her back, but she was nieve enough to think I never broke up with her when I said, "I want to start over and just be friends."

that last night breaking up with her makes my bones ache

[davehead34]

that last night breaking up with her makes my bones ache

Sorry to hear that man. What are you doing to cope? If you're young like me (21), then we have a pretty nice ride ahead of us :)

[davehead34]

I think I've had my "hopeless romantic" idealism smashed to the ground tonight. :( Oh well, maybe it was about time.

Was this the friend who lived far away? Man it seems like everyone's getting fucked with lately!

On a somewhat related note, I'm going to this huge block party in San Diego today (PB Block Party) and I'm going with one of my friends that is a mutual friend of the girl I've been talking about. I'm kind of wondering what's gonna happen, but we'll see. I just know I'm going to run into her, though. But it's all good - Stepping Feet is playing today :) BTW, they're an awesome DMB cover band and the violinist is absolutely beautiful :)

[uneverknow14]

i think everyone here is just too worried about never being able to find the 'right' person, that they will spend the rest of their lives with. You have to relax, and know that if its meant to be, then it will happen...i'm 20 and have never been in a 'real' relationship, and i have been having the time of my life meeting so many different people, i know i'll find the right one eventually, so y worry about it now??? enjoy your life!

[PrettyPenelope]

Was this the friend who lived far away? Man it seems like everyone's getting fucked with lately!

On a somewhat related note, I'm going to this huge block party in San Diego today (PB Block Party) and I'm going with one of my friends that is a mutual friend of the girl I've been talking about. I'm kind of wondering what's gonna happen, but we'll see. I just know I'm going to run into her, though. But it's all good - Stepping Feet is playing today :) BTW, they're an awesome DMB cover band and the violinist is absolutely beautiful :)No, this is in regards to my current boyfriend. I thought things had been going so well for like 8 months now, but this past week I feel like it's gone to shit. I wonder if this will sound stupid compared to some of the horrible stuff people have experienced on here. Anyway, his brother has been in town for a week and he's basically been ignoring me and treating me like a casual gf he calls for two seconds when he has the time. This after saying I love you and after talking about moving in together this summer. Just hurts that I can be reduced to nothing so soon.

Good luck on seeing her today, Chase. Just act casual, like it doesn't bother you. Then if you resonate strength, maybe you'll actually start to feel some.

[PrettyPenelope]

i think everyone here is just too worried about never being able to find the 'right' person, that they will spend the rest of their lives with. You have to relax, and know that if its meant to be, then it will happen...i'm 20 and have never been in a 'real' relationship, and i have been having the time of my life meeting so many different people, i know i'll find the right one eventually, so y worry about it now??? enjoy your life!Some of us thought we had found the right one and then had our hearts broken. So now we are a little protective of ourselves...

[uneverknow14]

Some of us thought we had found the right one and then had our hearts broken. So now we are a little protective of ourselves...

well i understand that...i'm extremely protective of myself, guess that's why i've never been in a relationship...but i guess i am a believer in 'everything happens for a reason', so you gotta just roll with it...

[PrettyPenelope]

well i understand that...i'm extremely protective of myself, guess that's why i've never been in a relationship...but i guess i am a believer in 'everything happens for a reason', so you gotta just roll with it...Yes I am too. But then, here I am, getting my heart broken once again. :shrug

[character zero]

i could fall into this category too, and i've never even had a girlfriend.

well. yes i did kind of, but i dont like to consider her. beginning of last school year, we went out for about a month, she dumped me, later i found out that she had cheated on me about 2 weeks into the "relationship", again a week later, and some other time...
all in all she did it 3 times, 2 different guys i believe. being dumped after a somewhat short relationship is one thing, but realizing that it only 2 weeks for a girl to lose interest in you or w/e the problem is, thats degrading somewhat.

since then, any girl i've ever encountered or been involved with (came somewhere near to going out with)...we'll get kinda interested in eachother, then 2 weeks later (yes 2 weeks again) something will happen, whether its me fucking up, or just me getting screwed over.
my latest 2-week-project (thats what im calling them now), this kid in my school told the girl that i'd been talking about things behind her back, perverse things about her. i tried to tell her otherwise...i just thinks its weird how she was able to believe him so easily when he lied to her, yet when i tell her something different its so hard for her to believe.

anyways, do other things to get your mind off the opposite sex. i havent hung out with many girls lately, and i've been happier in general with life. (not like im gonna switch my preferences though, im just taking a break from females i guess)

[justinandimcool]

Alright 14 yr old freshmen here. My hopeless romanticism gets so bad that I've liked my current crush for 6 months. We aren't in the same class in school anymore but talk once in a while, and still consider each other "friends". The question is, do you guys think it's better to seize the day and approach her everytime possible, or to wait for her to approach me?

[justinandimcool]

i could fall into this category too, and i've never even had a girlfriend.

well. yes i did kind of, but i dont like to consider her. beginning of last school year, we went out for about a month, she dumped me, later i found out that she had cheated on me about 2 weeks into the "relationship", again a week later, and some other time...
all in all she did it 3 times, 2 different guys i believe. being dumped after a somewhat short relationship is one thing, but realizing that it only 2 weeks for a girl to lose interest in you or w/e the problem is, thats degrading somewhat.

since then, any girl i've ever encountered or been involved with (came somewhere near to going out with)...we'll get kinda interested in eachother, then 2 weeks later (yes 2 weeks again) something will happen, whether its me fucking up, or just me getting screwed over.
my latest 2-week-project (thats what im calling them now), this kid in my school told the girl that i'd been talking about things behind her back, perverse things about her. i tried to tell her otherwise...i just thinks its weird how she was able to believe him so easily when he lied to her, yet when i tell her something different its so hard for her to believe.

anyways, do other things to get your mind off the opposite sex. i havent hung out with many girls lately, and i've been happier in general with life. (not like im gonna switch my preferences though, im just taking a break from females i guess)

How old are you man? I'm just curious...:)

[taphntm]

Sorry to hear that man. What are you doing to cope? If you're young like me (21), then we have a pretty nice ride ahead of us :)

well, it was about a year ago I guess, so I think the best way to cope for me is to move on to someone else and luckily that's where I am. :)

Alright 14 yr old freshmen here. My hopeless romanticism gets so bad that I've liked my current crush for 6 months. We aren't in the same class in school anymore but talk once in a while, and still consider each other "friends". The question is, do you guys think it's better to seize the day and approach her everytime possible, or to wait for her to approach me?

I think the best thing would be to approach her when you really have something good to say that might have that affect on her. you know :D

[justinandimcool]

thanks, though unfortunately I'm not very suave

[ethaxton]

I posted this is another thread and never got a response...dont really know why I posted it there...I was going to create a thread just like this...Im in a similar situation man.

Shitty way to start this day...my girlfriend and I who have been dating for over 3 years now broke up last month and we started to talk again and stuff here recently. So tuesday night she calls me up crying saying she misses me and wants to come stay with me. So she comes over spends the night and we talk and everything...go to breakfast the next day and everything seems to be going in the right direction...Well last night at 1am I get a call from her saying she is Boston visiting a guy she met over spring break. I got really pissed off initially because of the way she acted 2 nights previous to this. Playing with my emotions like that is not cool. Then later on in the conversation she says she almost didnt go and she really misses me and all this shit. At this point I am drunk (see posts made in marshall's stand up thread) and obviously im pretty emotional. I dont know what the hell to do. Ive had a lot of chances to date other girls but anytime Im about to do anything my mind goes crazy and I dont because it still feels like I'd be cheating on her.

Anyways, I've been pretty down and couldnt sleep much last night other than the initial few hours that i just passed out from being drunk. Shes coming back Sunday, and will be here all summer. I dont know what I should do though, she gives me so many mixed signals. I've given her all the space she needs, I never call her so she walys initiates any conversation, etc. The crazier thing is we broke up while I thought everything was great between us. She says this has happened all her life and she slowly just pushes all guys away and realizes she prob will never settle down until she can figure out why.

There is just so many things pulling at me right now that I have no clue what to do. Leave her alone forever and be miserable for a long time or try to work things out. Girls are so complicated.

Im 21, still in college and I know there are plenty of great times ahead, but having a girl do this to you just fucks you up in the head for a while.

[handsareme]

Reading all this makes me think of how great college will be next year!













Sarcasm...

[taphntm]

I posted this is another thread and never got a response...dont really know why I posted it there...I was going to create a thread just like this...Im in a similar situation man.

Shitty way to start this day...my girlfriend and I who have been dating for over 3 years now broke up last month and we started to talk again and stuff here recently. So tuesday night she calls me up crying saying she misses me and wants to come stay with me. So she comes over spends the night and we talk and everything...go to breakfast the next day and everything seems to be going in the right direction...Well last night at 1am I get a call from her saying she is Boston visiting a guy she met over spring break. I got really pissed off initially because of the way she acted 2 nights previous to this. Playing with my emotions like that is not cool. Then later on in the conversation she says she almost didnt go and she really misses me and all this shit. At this point I am drunk (see posts made in marshall's stand up thread) and obviously im pretty emotional. I dont know what the hell to do. Ive had a lot of chances to date other girls but anytime Im about to do anything my mind goes crazy and I dont because it still feels like I'd be cheating on her.

Anyways, I've been pretty down and couldnt sleep much last night other than the initial few hours that i just passed out from being drunk. Shes coming back Sunday, and will be here all summer. I dont know what I should do though, she gives me so many mixed signals. I've given her all the space she needs, I never call her so she walys initiates any conversation, etc. The crazier thing is we broke up while I thought everything was great between us. She says this has happened all her life and she slowly just pushes all guys away and realizes she prob will never settle down until she can figure out why.

There is just so many things pulling at me right now that I have no clue what to do. Leave her alone forever and be miserable for a long time or try to work things out. Girls are so complicated.

Im 21, still in college and I know there are plenty of great times ahead, but having a girl do this to you just fucks you up in the head for a while.

you got a response:

I say if a girl came back like that and I still liked her even though she was seeing someone else you should give her another chance because she has probably been ready to meet that guy again for a while. You shouldn't feel bad that she went to see him. That's just my opinion, trying to help you out.

If she's pushing guys away then maybe she doesn't have enough going on in her life besides her relationships. Sounds like something she has to deal with. She should really do something... apart from being in a relationship while she's in it. I hope that made sense. Let us know how you feel about it and good luck.

[PrettyPenelope]

I posted this is another thread and never got a response...dont really know why I posted it there...I was going to create a thread just like this...Im in a similar situation man.

Shitty way to start this day...my girlfriend and I who have been dating for over 3 years now broke up last month and we started to talk again and stuff here recently. So tuesday night she calls me up crying saying she misses me and wants to come stay with me. So she comes over spends the night and we talk and everything...go to breakfast the next day and everything seems to be going in the right direction...Well last night at 1am I get a call from her saying she is Boston visiting a guy she met over spring break. I got really pissed off initially because of the way she acted 2 nights previous to this. Playing with my emotions like that is not cool. Then later on in the conversation she says she almost didnt go and she really misses me and all this shit. At this point I am drunk (see posts made in marshall's stand up thread) and obviously im pretty emotional. I dont know what the hell to do. Ive had a lot of chances to date other girls but anytime Im about to do anything my mind goes crazy and I dont because it still feels like I'd be cheating on her.

Anyways, I've been pretty down and couldnt sleep much last night other than the initial few hours that i just passed out from being drunk. Shes coming back Sunday, and will be here all summer. I dont know what I should do though, she gives me so many mixed signals. I've given her all the space she needs, I never call her so she walys initiates any conversation, etc. The crazier thing is we broke up while I thought everything was great between us. She says this has happened all her life and she slowly just pushes all guys away and realizes she prob will never settle down until she can figure out why.

There is just so many things pulling at me right now that I have no clue what to do. Leave her alone forever and be miserable for a long time or try to work things out. Girls are so complicated.

Im 21, still in college and I know there are plenty of great times ahead, but having a girl do this to you just fucks you up in the head for a while.I vaguely remember the thread you posted a while ago...didn't you say you were kind of tired of the relationship? It sounds to me like maybe you (or both of you) have reached a point in your relationship where you feel safe and comfortable, and moving on is scary. On the other hand, her tossing you about like that is not fair. Your best bet would be to date other people, see what's out there, and use this as a learning experience. That way, you might be able to look back on your time with her fondly as opposed to bitterly.

[ethaxton]

you got a response:

Thanks for the response, the fact that she went to go see him doesn't bother me as much as it originally did. It seems to be an act of desperation, and maybe she needs this in her life.

Her dad left her mom when she was only 7 and had been cheating on her for years before that. I am pretty sure thats why she has trust issues, but I had never done anything to make her question me begin trustful. So her giving me the response "i do this to all guys" kind of angers me. She has dated a lot of guys but none longer than a year...and we dated for 3 years, so that should tell her something.

I cant really describe the mental anguish I feel when my girlfriend/best friend just breaks up with me one night with no warning whatsoever. Im sure people here have experienced it, all I can say is thank god I found dmb a long time ago because the music really helps.

[ethaxton]

I vaguely remember the thread you posted a while ago...didn't you say you were kind of tired of the relationship? It sounds to me like maybe you (or both of you) have reached a point in your relationship where you feel safe and comfortable, and moving on is scary. On the other hand, her tossing you about like that is not fair. Your best bet would be to date other people, see what's out there, and use this as a learning experience. That way, you might be able to look back on your time with her fondly as opposed to bitterly.

More so tired of the sex. I loved the relationship, flirting, and everything else...but sex got really predictable. We talked about that and it did get better, and really helped our relationship some too. To be honest I dont even care about the sex anymore...just the way she could make me feel overall.

We did reach a point where we really could not move forward though because neither of us were ready to get married since we were in school. We were both still happy, but the lack of progression started to get to her I think. If we could hve just made it about 6 more months and I was done with school I think it could have started going forward again.

[PrettyPenelope]

More so tired of the sex. I loved the relationship, flirting, and everything else...but sex got really predictable. We talked about that and it did get better, and really helped our relationship some too. To be honest I dont even care about the sex anymore...just the way she could make me feel overall.

We did reach a point where we really could not move forward though because neither of us were ready to get married since we were in school. We were both still happy, but the lack of progression started to get to her I think. If we could hve just made it about 6 more months and I was done with school I think it could have started going forward again.I have several concerns with this: 1. Sex should be important and should matter. I'm glad that you guys talked about it, but don't underestimate how much a lack of sex can mess things up. 2. If you reach a point where marriage is the next step, you both know it, and you both know you can't go there yet, then there really is no where left to go but down. It might not get to you as much, but it will (and apparently has) get to her. If it had been six more months, would you have proposed? Or what exactly would you have done to go forward again?

[ethaxton]

I have several concerns with this: 1. Sex should be important and should matter. I'm glad that you guys talked about it, but don't underestimate how much a lack of sex can mess things up. 2. If you reach a point where marriage is the next step, you both know it, and you both know you can't go there yet, then there really is no where left to go but down. It might not get to you as much, but it will (and apparently has) get to her. If it had been six more months, would you have proposed? Or what exactly would you have done to go forward again?

Yeah I was thinking about proposing once I graduted and got a job to afford a nice ring. Sex is very important to me, but I felt bad when I brought up the sex thing to her because it may have made it seem like that was the only reason I was in the relationship? I mean I think obviously by the way I treated her it was not all about the sex, but she gets the crazy ideas in her head and just runs with them.

[uneverknow14]

Reading all this makes me think of how great college will be next year!


college will be great, just drop the gf/bf before u go! seriously, having a relationship in college will lessen the experience

[handsareme]

college will be great, just drop the gf/bf before u go! seriously, having a relationship in college will lessen the experience

Don't have one a gf but am currently looking forward to a summer of love, like in the movies, where you meet a girl at the beginning of the summer, grow to love her, but when college comes and she's still in high school you have to, sadly, break up with her.

Wow, that's a long sentence.

[uneverknow14]

Don't have one a gf but am currently looking forward to a summer of love, like in the movies, where you meet a girl at the beginning of the summer, grow to love her, but when college comes and she's still in high school you have to, sadly, break up with her.

Wow, that's a long sentence.

forget summer of love...meet a bunch of different girls and have urself some fun, no need to bog urself down with a relationship thats gonna end../

[Tomriddle]

Don't have one a gf but am currently looking forward to a summer of love, like in the movies, where you meet a girl at the beginning of the summer, grow to love her, but when college comes and she's still in high school you have to, sadly, break up with her.

Wow, that's a long sentence.

Yeah, i've been looking forward to a summer of love for about five to six years now, but they proved to be elusive.

[PrettyPenelope]

seriously, having a relationship in college will lessen the experienceI completely disagree with this..I think college is the best time to have your first serious relationship. You're more mature than high school and really starting to figure yourself out. It might not last past college, but it very well might. I think you should date around in college too, but have a somewhat serious relationship somewhere in the four years.

[handsareme]

forget summer of love.../

Not really a summer of love, but a summer of love. Explained: I want to have a relationship that I know will end and I won't have to worry about someone while I'm at college. I just want to have a girl that I can have fun with, but don't we all?

edit: friends with benefits, that should also go in there somewhere

[watchtwrwildcat]

maybe some of you should try to enjoy being single.

[ExistenceNow]

maybe some of you should try to enjoy being single.


hell yes!!!

you've got your whole life to be a couple, but only so many good years to be single... (before you're the creepy 40 year old man in the college bar)

[taphntm]

maybe some of you should try to enjoy being single.

hey hey hey, this is the "hopeless romantics thread" remember? not the "I am mature" thread.

[character zero]

hmm
posted 1 earlier in this thread, this is kinda contradictory to a part of that(as before i said "i guess im taking a break from girls for a while")

well, there is this one whos from out of town, 30-40 minutes away. (keep in mind im still a junior in high school, i have my license but i have to share my car with my older bro....this other girl doesnt have a license yet)
i talk to her alot, she tells me how im a great guy, the nicest she knows, and whenever i see her theres that kind of spark/feeling i get with no1 else, and i know for sure she at least has a little of that feeling around me.
well last year she had a boyfriend (from her town) of about 8-9months and they broke up caus he cheated on her (in my opinion there shouldnt be any full forgiveness for that kind of thing)
they've been into eachother again recently, and its safe to assume theyre as good as going out again. i never would've imagined myself doing this, but any1 ever successfully break up a relationship before? shes always tellin me what a heartless asshole he is, it just doesnt make sense that she would go back to him.
she mentioned how kinda hopeless she is and that she kind of did it out of having no1 else. thats when i mentioned i have an interest in her.

so going back to that thought, attempting to 'steal' her from him? in my opinion its for her good, my good, and im sure that asshole could find someone else to cheat on

[uneverknow14]

I completely disagree with this..I think college is the best time to have your first serious relationship. You're more mature than high school and really starting to figure yourself out. It might not last past college, but it very well might. I think you should date around in college too, but have a somewhat serious relationship somewhere in the four years.

what makes college so fun is being able to go out and meet lots of people, and if ur tied down, that doesnt happen as often...no one trusts anyone, and really people cant be trusted in college. there are too many oppurtunities...i cant even begin to count how many people i know have cheated on their bf/gf's in college...i'm not happy to admit this, but i have hooked up w/guys that had gf's, either at home or at school...of course this wasn't intentional and i didnt find out about their gf's til after the fact, but either way, i feel like ur setting urself up for disaster by being in a relationship in college.

[uneverknow14]

hell yes!!!

you've got your whole life to be a couple, but only so many good years to be single...

AMEN TO THAT!!...seriously that's like my motto...live it up while u have the chance!





EDIT:...hmm, well i suppose we're not providing help to any of the 'hopeless romantics'...before this thread gets hijacked by the singles, maybe we should leave...

[ethaxton]

maybe some of you should try to enjoy being single.

Yeah Im trying...havent been single in 4 years so it will take some getting use to. Not saying im really unhappy being single because its awesome most of the time, just different you know.

[PrettyPenelope]

what makes college so fun is being able to go out and meet lots of people, and if ur tied down, that doesnt happen as often...no one trusts anyone, and really people cant be trusted in college. there are too many oppurtunities...i cant even begin to count how many people i know have cheated on their bf/gf's in college...i'm not happy to admit this, but i have hooked up w/guys that had gf's, either at home or at school...of course this wasn't intentional and i didnt find out about their gf's til after the fact, but either way, i feel like ur setting urself up for disaster by being in a relationship in college.I'm not saying you should never go out and meet people in college. But I think one good relationship in college is a smart idea, something to reference on for future relationships. I never once "felt tied down" with my serious bf in college. I guess it depends on how much you really want to be in the relationship, with respect to all those people you've met who have cheated. Maybe some people are just not ready, but some, obviously, are...

[davehead34]

I have several concerns with this: 1. Sex should be important and should matter. I'm glad that you guys talked about it, but don't underestimate how much a lack of sex can mess things up. 2. If you reach a point where marriage is the next step, you both know it, and you both know you can't go there yet, then there really is no where left to go but down. It might not get to you as much, but it will (and apparently has) get to her. If it had been six more months, would you have proposed? Or what exactly would you have done to go forward again?

I want to quote all of Laura's posts and give them all :thumbsup, but I'm way too lazy, so here it is :thumbsup.

Sex is important, especially when you're young like us. Generally speaking, we're all attracted to our significant others sexually. I believe it's important to remain that way for at least a few years (five years or more) or else you'll struggle.

Next, college can be a great place to have a relationship. I'm a Hopeless Romantic, so anytime is a great time to have a relationship. Anytime. Perhaps this has to do with nurture or nature - either way, I'm always searching for love. I'm always searching for a relationship. I don't believe this is a bad thing because this is what I want. I've partied, I've lived, I've had plenty of variety in my life. I feel as though it's time for me to look for someone who's ready to embark on this incredible journey of life with me. To say that you shouldn't date seriously in college would be ridiculous, IMHO. I could be staring the girl of my dreams in the face; however, because I'm in college, I wouldn't date her seriously. That's fucked up. I might never get another shot.

Love can come at anytime and I'm pretty sure that it comes less frequently as you grow older. I know that in places where it's more crowded (like where I live in San Diego), it's harder to meet people who would mean something to you. So please, if you see something that looks like it might be the real deal, go for it. You might be let down in the end, but if you're not you'll have a whole lifetime of happiness in which to look forward :)

In other news, I'm still single. So if you're anywhere from 18 to 25, feel free to PM me :lol

[handsareme]

I'm 18, but WAY out of your league.

:lol :lol

[davehead34]

I'm 18, but WAY out of your league.

:lol :lol

I've head that waaaay too many times for that hurt anymore ;) Stupid little kids...;)

[PrettyPenelope]

Next, college can be a great place to have a relationship. I'm a Hopeless Romantic, so anytime is a great time to have a relationship. Anytime. Perhaps this has to do with nurture or nature - either way, I'm always searching for love. I'm always searching for a relationship. I don't believe this is a bad thing because this is what I want. I've partied, I've lived, I've had plenty of variety in my life. I feel as though it's time for me to look for someone who's ready to embark on this incredible journey of life with me. To say that you shouldn't date seriously in college would be ridiculous, IMHO. I could be staring the girl of my dreams in the face; however, because I'm in college, I wouldn't date her seriously. That's fucked up. I might never get another shot.

Love can come at anytime and I'm pretty sure that it comes less frequently as you grow older. I know that in places where it's more crowded (like where I live in San Diego), it's harder to meet people who would mean something to you. So please, if you see something that looks like it might be the real deal, go for it. You might be let down in the end, but if you're not you'll have a whole lifetime of happiness in which to look forward :)
Excellent. Couldn't have said it better. I'm really glad you made this thread :) So did you run into her?

[gbs3769]

Yeah Im trying...havent been single in 4 years so it will take some getting use to. Not saying im really unhappy being single because its awesome most of the time, just different you know.

Yeah, I'm with you. It's tough being single when you haven't been for the past five years. Being single certainly has it's bonuses, but you obviously miss being with someone which is probably why the rebound never works because you are looking for something to fill that void rather quickly and you just need to sit back and let things happen as they normally should.

- Matt

[handsareme]

I've head that waaaay too many times for that hurt anymore ;) Stupid little kids...;)

+1 for a nice response

edit: i need to spread my shit around

[_Scout_]

This has probably been said before, but no matter what happens to you in a relationship don't let it turn you cynical, or ruin your romantic heart. Being a hopeless romantic and continuing to believe in Love is a good thing.

[davehead34]

Excellent. Couldn't have said it better. I'm really glad you made this thread :) So did you run into her?

Thanks :) I actually did not run into her, so I was pretty happy with that. It was waaaaaay too crowded to just run into someone!

You know, it's really wierd, but reading other people's experiences puts things in perspective. I've been treating this thread like a group support session :lol Whatever the reason, this thread has been really cool to be a part of.

And don't worry, Karen - I got pretty bitter and cynical for a moment, but I've collected myself and am beingning to have that positive outlook again :)

[King Crimson]

Ya havnt really been part of this thread, but just readin it to make me feel better. arnt we all sick fuckers that live off others pain to make us feel better. Me and this girl have been in a kinda limbo for about 4 months, (mind you its high school) so 4 months is a long time. But ya good luck to all ya romantics :thumbsup

[gbs3769]

So on Friday night I was able to have a conversation with the girl who has been causing my head to spin. My friends and I were down at our bar which she also goes to often and she was there with a few of her friends so I asked her if I could have a moment of her time and she called me shortly after finishing talking to the owner of the bar.

Her explanation as to why she was so distant was that she thought that things were moving to fast and she wanted to put some distance there to slow things down. I'm not too sure if I completely buy it, but it is all that I have to go on.

Now, me typically being the hopeless romantic, I am trying to find out the best way to return into her good graces and see if we can get things back on the track that they were before she thought we were moving too quickly.

- Matt

[davehead34]

Now, me typically being the hopeless romantic, I am trying to find out the best way to return into her good graces and see if we can get things back on the track that they were before she thought we were moving too quickly.

- Matt

God I hate that excuse - "Things are moving too fast..." I think we've all heard that one before!

If I had to take an educated guess at your situation, I would say that the best way to get back in her "good graces" would to simply befriend her, again. If she doesn't want a relationship that's serious, then take what you can get. Personally, if I feel strongly for someone, I can' hide those feelings. If I really like a girl (or god forbid love ;)), I would have a very difficult time being her "friend." It's just such a tease.

[il bacio dolce]

I strongly believe that if someone wants to be with you they're going to tell you so. If they aren't dying, getting out of a relationship, moving away, or some other variation of being seriously unavailable, they are capable of deciding whether they want to get in to a relationship. If they're sober and are thinking straight, they can figure out if they like or love you enough to make room for you in their crazy life. Things would never be moving too fast if they were in to you, because they would want things to hurry up and happen. They would be thrilled about it.

[gbs3769]

I can hide my feelings if I need to and I'm not opposed to waiting around for a good thing. I did that with my ex-girlfriend, I waited for a good six months where we we went from being best friends to not talking at all to being best friends again all before we started dating.

- Matt

[ethaxton]

Yeah, I'm with you. It's tough being single when you haven't been for the past five years. Being single certainly has it's bonuses, but you obviously miss being with someone which is probably why the rebound never works because you are looking for something to fill that void rather quickly and you just need to sit back and let things happen as they normally should.

- Matt

Yeah I have had the opportunity for a quick rebound a couple times but its really not what I want at this point. Im sure it will happen eventually though :)

I also can relate to what chase said, Im always searching for love/relationship. It's not that I am desperate to meet my soul mate I just am the type of person that enjoys being in a relationship and the pursuit of it I guess.

PrettyPenelope: +1 for remembering something I had said a while back too :thumbsup :)

[PrettyPenelope]

My whole thing with "moving too fast" is this (I'll use my current situation to describe): I've been dating this guy for about 7 months and things have gone fast and we've said I love you and generally they are great. But him being 27 and me 24, my mind starts to wander into the future. I mean, our relationship certainly seems to be one of much more time than 7 months. But then sometimes I think, wow, it has been just that.

Did that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes people worry about going too fast bc they don't want to get caught up in something that will put them in a situation they are not ready for, or that the other person might not be ready for.

[davehead34]

Did that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes people worry about going too fast bc they don't want to get caught up in something that will put them in a situation they are not ready for, or that the other person might not be ready for.

Yeah, you made sense and I'm gonna agree with you, once again. There's really nothing worse, IMHO, than being ready for the next level of a relationship, admitting it to the other person and being rejected. That hurts. Real bad.

[greg87lax]

haha moving to fast = stop demanding sex

[watchtwrwildcat]

Now, me typically being the hopeless romantic, I am trying to find out the best way to return into her good graces and see if we can get things back on the track that they were before she thought we were moving too quickly.

- Matt I hope I'm not sticking my nose somewhere it doesn't belong, but my lil' ol' opinion--for what it's worth--is that you are investing way too much into this. if you'll just back off, she'll probably fall right into your lap.

[trippingbilly12]

Well I haven't read the entire thread, but after reading the first few posts I hope I can share some information and advice about what I went through.

Now I am only 18, but I dated a girl for a little less then a year. We actually had a great time together, and spent a lot of time together. It was kind of the "ideal" relationship I had imagined having in high school. Well going out for so long, we went through everything you could imagine. After breaking up, more "drama" happened and all sorts of things were happening. To make the story short, I ended up wanting her back very badly, while she wanted to move on. That was rough. I didn't want to like her, I knew I was better then that, but for some reason I wanted her back. A classic rendition of wanting what you can't have....

All you people who talk about listening to Halloween, I can relate. But heres where the advice comes in. Through the whole time I was going through what I thought was hell, I just always remembered that THINGS WILL GET BETTER. Yes sometimes the current situation sucks, but things will eventually turn up. For me, they have :) I feel very independent and like a load has been taken off my back. I know its rough because I was there as well, but I often thought "why even worry about it?" It is something I can't control, why waste valuable time of my life over something that in the long run is very minute?

I hope this can help some people, and heres a good quote to live by, whether its lost of love or any other bad situation. Its from the novel The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay (which is fantastic I might add). The quote isn't verbatim, but its something to this effect

"Just remember, no matter how bad it seems, things will always eventually get better"

[ethaxton]

South Park actually inspired me tonight haha...it was the episode where Wendy broke up with Stan and he went Goth. At the the Lexus from raisins "broke up" with butters. Butters was down and was like this sadness I feel makes me excited about life, meaning I must have felt something great in order to feel this bad. We have to take the bad with the good.

Never though Butters would give such good advice.

[gbs3769]

I hope I'm not sticking my nose somewhere it doesn't belong, but my lil' ol' opinion--for what it's worth--is that you are investing way too much into this. if you'll just back off, she'll probably fall right into your lap.

Not at all Bethie... The whole point of posting is so that you can get feedback from others.

You are right that I should just back off and that things would probably work our properly. However, I have never been one to really just let things work themselves out. I hate just sitting back and letting things fall into place, I want to actually be out there making things happen.

- Matt

[chels012002]

I use to be a hopless romantic, then this little bitch broke my heart. Now I'm happier than ever with the new woman in my life and most of my hopless romantacism is tarnished and in hiding. Aint that a bitch :shrug OMG are you sure your name isn't Ryan and are you sure you don't live in Gilbert AZ? Cause my ex said that same BS to me a month or so.

[mojo1210]

the girl of my dreams decided to stop speaking to me nearly a year ago. in hindsight, i'm glad i no longer have contact with her, and she wasn't the girl of my dreams.

[handsareme]

Now I am only 18, but I dated a girl for a little less then a year. We actually had a great time together, and spent a lot of time together. It was kind of the "ideal" relationship I had imagined having in high school. Well going out for so long, we went through everything you could imagine. After breaking up, more "drama" happened and all sorts of things were happening. To make the story short, I ended up wanting her back very badly, while she wanted to move on. That was rough. I didn't want to like her, I knew I was better then that, but for some reason I wanted her back. A classic rendition of wanting what you can't have....

You hit the nail on the head with my relationship I had more than a year ago. 17, loved being with her, she broke up with me, I still wanted her, I eventually moved on although I still wonder about things now and again.

[ethaxton]

So my ex called me today, hadnt talked to her period since the boston thing about a week ago. She was crying, and asked if i was busy because she had a lot going on and needed someone to talk to. I couldnt say no because I dated the girl for 3+ years and still love her so I decided to listen. She tells me all the things that had happened to her recently, and it does suck they all happened at the same time. In the back of my mind I was thinking "damn, maybe now you know what it feels like." I didnt say that, and I was really supportive yahta yahta. I started thinking more and felt really bad about everything so I decided to send her 6 white roses and just said "dont worry, everything will be ok" on the card. I do stuff like this all the time for friends and family if they are having a rough time...but I dont want her to get the impression that I am now cool with everything she has done in the past couple weeks. Should I not have sent these?

[watchtwrwildcat]

You are right that I should just back off and that things would probably work our properly. However, I have never been one to really just let things work themselves out. I hate just sitting back and letting things fall into place, I want to actually be out there making things happen.

- Mattit just sounds like you're doing you're doing an awful lot of work. and we don't usually appreciate that sort of effort like we should. :p

[gbs3769]

Should I not have sent these?

Probably not.

- Matt

[ethaxton]

it just sounds like you're doing you're doing an awful lot of work. and we don't usually appreciate that sort of effort like we should. :p

Amen to that, girls seem to notice when we slack and things we didnt do more than the good things we did. Like if I left a note or something on my ex gf's bed, and did that for a couple weeks randomly, she would remember that I stopped doing it for a couple weeks over me actually doing it all. My feeling is If i do it all the time it becomes less of like a little surprise to come home to, but she then thinks something is up and somehow I magically dont love her as much anymore :confused

[ethaxton]

Probably not.

- Matt

Damn.

[gbs3769]

it just sounds like you're doing you're doing an awful lot of work. and we don't usually appreciate that sort of effort like we should. :p

Yeah I was. Although I haven't talked to her since Saturday. Maybe I'll call later this week to see if there are any weekend plans but otherwise I guess I am just going to have to let her do her thing.

In other news, I randomly ran into a girl that I went to college with last night. She lived on the floor above me my Freshmen year and used to come down to my room every day to cry about her boyfriend at the time. In the very least it is another opportunity that would be good for a summer fling/rebound relationship.

Damn.

You would get a better answer from a girl, but that's my opinion.

- Matt

[ethaxton]

Yeah I was. Although I haven't talked to her since Saturday. Maybe I'll call later this week to see if there are any weekend plans but otherwise I guess I am just going to have to let her do her thing.

In other news, I randomly ran into a girl that I went to college with last night. She lived on the floor above me my Freshmen year and used to come down to my room every day to cry about her boyfriend at the time. In the very least it is another opportunity that would be good for a summer fling/rebound relationship.


- Matt

Flings are always exciting...but I wouldnt call your ex or whatever just yet. You really have to show that, or at least make her believe that, you arent thinking about it all the time and that you couldn't care less if you all talked or not. If she doesnt call you within 2 weeks Id maybe give her a ring to just see how she is doing

[PrettyPenelope]

I'm not a big fan of the "wait for him/her to call" policy - I think inevitably each one is waiting for the other to call and it's a load of crap. Just call...will save both of you a lot of time and unnecessary stress.

[davehead34]

I'm not a big fan of the "wait for him/her to call" policy - I think inevitably each one is waiting for the other to call and it's a load of crap. Just call...will save both of you a lot of time and unnecessary stress.

Hell yes. I've followed the "three day rule" and it never really did any good (or bad). Quite frankly, it doesn't make much sense to try to prove to the other person that you're not that interested. I mean really, they gave you their number, asked you to call, hooked up with you, whatever...Obviously, s/he likes you. So just call him/her already! I'm not saying call her the second you walk out of the bar, but there shouldn't be anything wrong with calling the next day. I would love it if I got a call the next day!

[Jessica41]

I could write a book on letting the one you love get away...
I'm single, have been for awhile, and like many others, still believe that they lost the person that they were meant to be with blah blah blah...
everyone can say it will get better, and maybe it will. yeah i've dated since then, and why am I still single? because no one has been good enough...there's always been something standing in the way. distance, timing in life, other life goals, etc etc etc.

basically i guess what it comes down to, as everyone says but rarely sits down and makes the decision to do is time.......theres really no point in dwelling or being depressed and hoping and wishing and letting loss consume your every thought (been there, done it, hate it) I dont know if i believe the whole 'everything happens for a reason' deal......because sometimes it takes a LONG time to find out that reason. There are plenty of things I havent found any reasoning to. Why be given this person to love and be loved by just to have a series of events (or one thing in some instances) make them disappear from your life? Who knows. Not me.

So I'll give the advice that is given to me, and that is, live your life, do what makes you happy, and someday, somehow, things will get better.
(note: yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic, too) but I don't live in CA :p

[PrettyPenelope]

Why is it that us hopeless romantics are always lurking around here at night? Is it our time to think/wallow? :shrug

[handsareme]

It's our time when we should out and about. But we're not for some reason.

[ryguy178]

Wow how did I miss this thread, finally a place I feel like I can belong.

[Jessica41]

Why is it that us hopeless romantics are always lurking around here at night? Is it our time to think/wallow? :shrug

I'm kinda tired...but not tired enough to sleep...so here I am.
:shrug

[trippingbilly12]

I'm kinda tired...but not tired enough to sleep...so here I am.
:shrug

sounds like me every night :(

[Jessica41]

sounds like me every night :(

me also :o

[trippingbilly12]

me also :o

eh, at least i get to sleep in tommorow. Don't have an exam until 11:15

[Jessica41]

eh, at least i get to sleep in tommorow. Don't have an exam until 11:15

sleep a little for me too, okay?

[trippingbilly12]

sleep a little for me too, okay?

will do :thumbsup I'll set my alarm a little later just for you :bounce

[Jessica41]

will do :thumbsup I'll set my alarm a little later just for you :bounce

:D:thumbsup+1

[trippingbilly12]

Unfortunately I will find out if I passed Pre-Cal tommorow, and thats going to be scary :shrug

[Jessica41]

Unfortunately I will find out if I passed Pre-Cal tommorow, and thats going to be scary :shrug

gooood luck!

[trippingbilly12]

gooood luck!

:) thanks

I needed to get a 62 on the exam I took today. That seems pretty easy, but I am terrible at math, I didn't study, and the exams are always really hard. I'm accepting a fairly large curve though, and my teacher may bump me if neccesary

[gbs3769]

sounds like me every night :(

I can never fall asleep either. Once I am asleep, I am golden but it takes me hours to fall asleep.

As far as being in the thread late at night, I typically am not. I usually am out and about being the social butterfly that I typically am.

- Matt

[ethaxton]

Hell yes. I've followed the "three day rule" and it never really did any good (or bad). Quite frankly, it doesn't make much sense to try to prove to the other person that you're not that interested. I mean really, they gave you their number, asked you to call, hooked up with you, whatever...Obviously, s/he likes you. So just call him/her already! I'm not saying call her the second you walk out of the bar, but there shouldn't be anything wrong with calling the next day. I would love it if I got a call the next day!

I wasnt talking about the three day rule, if a girl gives me her number I usually wait until the day after and call. I was talking about during a breakup. Sorry for the confusion.

[ethaxton]

I can never fall asleep either. Once I am asleep, I am golden but it takes me hours to fall asleep.

As far as being in the thread late at night, I typically am not. I usually am out and about being the social butterfly that I typically am.

- Matt

Yeah I cant stand being at home at night anymore by myself. My roomate is in europe for the month touring and most of my friends are home for break, so Ive been going out and making a lot of new friends these last couple weeks :)

[davehead34]

Why is it that us hopeless romantics are always lurking around here at night? Is it our time to think/wallow? :shrug

Good question. Probably because by 8pm I've drank about six pints of Guiness and I'm feeling regretably sorry for myself :lol

[handsareme]

davehead...if I ever come to San Diego, we need to go find some chicks.
:)

[davehead34]

davehead...if I ever come to San Diego, we need to go find some chicks.
:)

:lol Sounds cool to me dude! I could use the help! :lol Definitely hit me up and I'll show you around man. It'll be cool! We might not pick up that many chicks, but we'll definitely get smashed, which is always a good thing.

[handsareme]

Good to hear.
:thumbsup
Too bad I live in the middle of Shitcountry, KS...:(

[davehead34]

Yeah, but you know life is short and you just might find yourself over here some day. You never know, right? Besides, you could always find some stupid excuse to come to San Deigo, like, say, to see DMB?? :lol Shit, I used that excuse to go back home twice, and up the coast a few other times.

[selkiegirl]

Good to hear.
:thumbsup
Too bad I live in the middle of Shitcountry, KS...:(I know an amazing girl who lives in Kansas...

[davehead34]

I know an amazing girl who lives in Kansas...

:rolleyes

[MSJCE]

Wow how did I miss this thread, finally a place I feel like I can belong.

true that :thumbsup

[PrettyPenelope]

I wasnt talking about the three day rule, if a girl gives me her number I usually wait until the day after and call. I was talking about during a breakup. Sorry for the confusion.Whether you just met, are still dating, or are breaking up, you should never hesitate to call somebody you like/love. Honesty is what holds relationships together (and keeps break ups from being horrendous, I think), so you're better off just calling. Even if it doesn't sound like the best idea. I know there are times I've sat there wishing he'd call...blah, blah...I shoulda just called myself. I've learned my lesson.

[davehead34]

Whether you just met, are still dating, or are breaking up, you should never hesitate to call somebody you like/love. Honesty is what holds relationships together (and keeps break ups from being horrendous, I think), so you're better off just calling. Even if it doesn't sound like the best idea. I know there are times I've sat there wishing he'd call...blah, blah...I shoulda just called myself. I've learned my lesson.

Have you heard that song my Jack Johnson "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"? That song, I think, kind of relates to your "lesson" learned. Great song, too :)

[RuggerSelkie]

:rolleyes
Why the long face?

[rebubula07]

yeah I ended a 4 year relationship over a year ago and havent really found anyone that I fancied too much. I really dont have much hope of finding anyone soon either. It kinda sucks

[davehead34]

Why the long face?

It's been a pretty long day man :( Work just sucked the soul outta me. I picked up the guitar and nothing came to me. My creativity is just gone right now!

[davehead34]

yeah I ended a 4 year relationship over a year ago and havent really found anyone that I fancied too much. I really dont have much hope of finding anyone soon either. It kinda sucks

Hey man keep your head up. It's all good because if you just keep livin life, something really awesome's gonna happen. I don't know what it is and it always changes from person to person, but it's usually true love. The really lucky ones get it twice.

[shoegal_97]

Hey man keep your head up. It's all good because if you just keep livin life, something really awesome's gonna happen. I don't know what it is and it always changes from person to person, but it's usually true love.


:thumbsup :)

[rebubula07]

I appreciate the encouragement! Its not like im sulking around in a deep state of depression but sometimes it would be nice to have a gal around. I live by myself and dont really mind it but from going 4 years with someone ALWAYS with you to nothing kind of blows. Ive had a few one nighters since, but am not ever too interested in them the next moring for some reason. Oh well I guess only time will tell.

[handsareme]

I know an amazing girl who lives in Kansas...

I'm listening.
PM me.
:)

edit: *waves hello to thread*

[Jessica41]

any hopeless romantics within a 60 mile radius, feel free to PM me.

[davehead34]

I'm listening.
PM me.
:)

edit: *waves hello to thread*

:lol Hello. And if you do get to meet, her, you're lucky.

[ryguy178]

any hopeless romantics within a 60 mile radius, feel free to PM me.

Sorry, I do believe i'm about 61 miles away from williamsport. :shrug

[selkiegirl]

:lol Hello. And if you do get to meet, her, you're lucky.I do believe she will be visiting us soon. Have you any clue what RAR means? Just asking... ;)

[davehead34]

I do believe she will be visiting us soon. Have you any clue what RAR means? Just asking... ;)

Hmmmmm..."RAR"? Isn't that what dinosaurs say? I dunno. You got me!

[DMBand520]

If by hopeless romantic you mean raddest fucking dude alive, then I'm in.

Van? Is that you?

[gbs3769]

Have you heard that song my Jack Johnson "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"? That song, I think, kind of relates to your "lesson" learned. Great song, too :)

Yeah, I love that song. One of the ones that I continue to listen to. One of the songs I should probably stop listening to because they make me even more upset with my current situation.

- Matt

[PrettyPenelope]

Have you heard that song my Jack Johnson "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"? That song, I think, kind of relates to your "lesson" learned. Great song, too :)*sigh* I love Jack Johnson.

On a different note, has anybody ever been in a relationship where it seems like the other person thinks you're not as smart as them?

[davehead34]

*sigh* I love Jack Johnson.

On a different note, has anybody ever been in a relationship where it seems like the other person thinks you're not as smart as them?

Yes. Probably evey single relationship I've ever been in. But somehow I can't figure out that they're always cheating on me. Maybe I'm not as smart as I once thought I was...

I know, I listen to that JJ song waaaaaaay too much. Songs like that don't really help my mood when I'm in those situations.

[neumdogg]

I know im smarter than all my girlfriends, so there really is no problem.

[angelces]

I know im smarter than all my girlfriends, so there really is no problem.
:lol that's what you get for dating chicks in LA. ;)

[neumdogg]

:lol that's what you get for dating chicks in LA. ;)
Hey, im fine with that!

[davehead34]

Hey, im fine with that!

I love blondes :D The only thing I don't like about Cali girls is that they can literally be so incredibly dumb that you can't have a conversation with them. Then you start talking about your new jacket and they won't shut the hell up. They need to know their place in life :hump

[Jessica41]

Sorry, I do believe i'm about 61 miles away from williamsport. :shrug

ah too bad :lol

[shawncruiksh]

*sigh* What do hopeless romantics do on a Friday night...I'm wondering what I should be doing...Any thoughts?

[gbs3769]

I went to see Star Wars last night with some friends. And then afterwards grabbed a bite to eat at Jimmy Johns.

This illness is kicking my ass so I think I am just going to have to lay low for the rest of the weekend. I'd much rather be out meeting people, but I don't think that they are going to want me to come up to them after coughing for like five minutes in the corner of the bar.

- Matt

[handsareme]

*sigh* it's been a while. I had to go to a regional track meet about 5 hours away from me yesterday so I haven't really been up on all the 'news'. Anyways at regionals, they take the top four places to state from each of four regions for a total of 16 runners in each event at state. My event that I'd been planning on qualifying for state in is the 300 m intermediate hurdles. Towards the end of the season I had kept breaking my personal best. So coming into the meet Friday, my time was 43.1, putting me in the second fastest heat. Funny thing is we ran in our league track meet a week ago and I ran 42.7, another best for me. But my coach was only able to submit my 43.1 time and that put me in the second fastest heat. So, fast forward to race time...I was so nervous for this race. My heart was beating and I was kinda freaking out. I'm in lane 5, meaning I'm the fastest in my heat. I didn't dissappoint in my heat, although it was back and forth for a better part of the race, I owned the last 100 m. I didn't look back and I crossed the finish line first with another PR of 42.09 seconds. Unfortunately, the 'fast' heat ran right after I did. The fourth place time in that heat was 41.8 and the fifth place time was 42.06 seconds. I was about 3 tenths of a second out of going to state. If I would've gotten fifth place though, I would have been PISSED. I was still pissed, even though I ran the race of my life. It would've been nice to go.

I do believe she will be visiting us soon. Have you any clue what RAR means? Just asking... ;)

RAR...hmm, must be a KC thing. I'm in the Wichita area. You can still clue me in though.
:)

[PrettyPenelope]

I love blondes :D The only thing I don't like about Cali girls is that they can literally be so incredibly dumb that you can't have a conversation with them. Then you start talking about your new jacket and they won't shut the hell up. They need to know their place in life :hump*Sigh*. Lived here since I was 5. I'm working on a Master's degree. Im not blonde. I do, however, like to talk about the new things I get every once in a while.

With my current dude, he's a bit older and he's sorta settled in career and life and I think he thinks I dwell in college mode or something. It's frustrating.

[Oh, word?]

If this is a chat thread, I apologize for intruding.

I am however a Hopeless Romantic stuck in a romance-less relationship. Just looking for some company. :(

[gbs3769]

All Hopeless Romantics are welcome in this thread...

- Matt

[Oh, word?]

Well I thank you. :)

[gbs3769]

So what's wrong with your current relationship?

- Matt

[Oh, word?]

He's a good man. I need to preface anything I say with that. He treats me very well...it's just that we have what seems to be a more friendly relationship than a romantic one. We've lived together for a year now and I care aboput him very much, but there seems to be some things lacking. As I told him recently, I think of our relationship as "icing without the cake." All of the "extras" that a woman hopes for out of a man are there but the basics (i.e. communication, sex) aren't.

I hope this makes sense.

[ethaxton]

Any of these hopeless romantics going to be attending bonnaroo?

[gbs3769]

I'm sure you are looking for more of a response from the female Hopeless Romantics, but I won't be there.

I hope this makes sense.

I understand what you are saying. I don't want to be a bearer of bad news or anything like that, but communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and if it isn't there that doesn't bring me much hope.

- Matt