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View Full Version : Some of my band's songs, tell me what you think


jsprang
06-03-2005, 04:49 PM
http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=09YLZBYNC5U7106O70RSFRRRQQ


This is a song I wrote and recorded while in college. It's called "On a Cloud" and I wrote 2 versions of it per the advice of a songwriting teacher at the school. Here are the (original) lyrics of the song:

On A Cloud
by Robert Milton, Nathan Owen, and Jonathan Sprang

v. 1
I lie awake, I dream of you
Your lips so red, your eyes so blue
We dance alone, the moon upon us
And as I sleep I feel your touch

Chorus
If ever given the chance
To tell you how I feel
If I ever get the courage to speak
If my mind ever tells my lips to move
I would utter this

v. 2
I could lie on a cloud
I could watch the falling raindrops
I could kiss a star, swallow the night
But then I fall and all is gone

v. 3
My frightened eyes glance around me
Then peace overcomes these thoughts of fear.
For you are there right beside me
And in my arms I hold my dream.


c. 2000


Upon the advice of my teacher I changed the 2nd & 3rd verses to keep the tension found in the chorus.


v. 2
I could lie on a cloud
From there I see your falling teardrops
I could kiss your cheek, hold you tight
But when I wake you’re always gone

v. 3
My frightened eyes glance around me
For I know that you aren’t really here
But when I close my eyes you’re right beside me
And in my arms I hold my dream.


Let me know what you think.

http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0QF5HSHMDX6K0EDC8GWAQG5SA

This song is by my band, 3 Miles From Sunday, live at a local coffee shop. Our lead guitarist has adjusted some of the licks so that it isn't so repeatitive. We are going to be laying down so tracks in a couple of weeks and I will post them then.

---

www.myspace.com/3milesfromsunday (http://www.myspace.com/3milesfromsunday)

alphatabs
06-03-2005, 05:07 PM
That's great man. :thumbsup From one Burlingtonite to another. (I'm probably five minutes from where you are right now) Maybe we'll cross paths musically one day. :D It could be destiny that I heard that. Creepy. :)

rh41
06-03-2005, 11:50 PM
you guys sound good. lyrics and music are both strong.