I am freaking the FUCK out (womenfailC)

[lockman21]

I don't think she's such a devout Christian if she'll let you pound her out without a rubber.

:lol:lol I was wondering this myself.

[clcfball11]

I don't think she's such a devout Christian if she'll let you pound her out without a rubber.

:lol :thumbsup

[kittensXLI]

mDrums, what's your address so I can mail you your Christmas present?

http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/images/wo/worlds-best-dad--useless-husband-mug.jpg

[lockman21]

i hadnt came inside of her, but when you fuck four or five times in a few hours, im sure theres some sperm or two still chillin on my dick that wana crawl their way up her retarded vagina.

bbbaaaaahahahahahahahaahahaha

[dmbgodagirl41]

I wasn't the one that told my gf to get on the pill, in fact, she was on it before I met her.

And for the first few months, we still used condoms and then she said she doesn't like them so we stopped.

This isn't a debate about whether or not the pill is a good thing to be on. Again, I wasn't the one in favor of her taking it..and i'm sure thats the case for many other guys and girls.

Long story short, if you are on the pill, then fucking take it the way you're supposed to. End. of. story.

I mean, I agree with you. I haev been on the pill for a decade now, and I still take it religiously, and I can empathize with the whole "she's on BC so I dont have to worry" mind-set.

But, I'm sure that you understand that you not using a condom still poses the slight chance that your girl could get pregnant. And, if that happens, you can't really have any room to be shocked because that's a risk you take with not using condoms.

Or am I totally wrong in that thinking?

[rickyh24]

bbbaaaaahahahahahahahaahahaha

:lol

[manderso]

What I want to know is after reading this thread, are any of the guys here gonna start wearing condoms if she's on the pill?

[lockman21]

I mean, I agree with you. I haev been on the pill for a decade now, and I still take it religiously, and I can empathize with the whole "she's on BC so I dont have to worry" mind-set.

But, I'm sure that you understand that you not using a condom still poses the slight chance that your girl could get pregnant. And, if that happens, you can't really have any room to be shocked because that's a risk you take with not using condoms.

Or am I totally wrong in that thinking?

Katie, you're not getting this.

MDrums pulled out. 0% baby chance.

[dmbgodagirl41]

10 bucks says this chick's gash wound is like the Sarlaac pit.

/nerd

[Taylor/Martin]

I have nothing to add here, but this thread has been an interesting read for sure.

Thanks OP!

[dmbgodagirl41]

Katie, you're not getting this.

MDrums pulled out. 0% baby chance.

Thank you for clearing this up for me and allowing me to see the error of my ways and my assumptions.

:lol POOT method FAIL.

[lockman21]

What I want to know is after reading this thread, are any of the guys here gonna start wearing condoms if she's on the pill?

http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q313/drdotislovinlife/bd_Fuck_That_Shit16.jpg

[thebestauntie]

I don't think she's such a devout Christian if she'll let you pound her out without a rubber.
I was wondering the same thing. :lol

[~Crashintome89~]

Yo man, if you did with her in a hot tub then you're good. Pure physics, man. Can never happen.

[Butterfingerz]

it is currently 2 PM, and I am quite surprised I have yet to have a heart/panic/anxiety attack...i am literally freaking the fuck out.

Looooooong story to a short one: i just broke up with my lady partner this past saturday. it was a mutual long-time coming type of thing because our relationship just wasnt working (im an idiot for talking to her at all). so finally we call it quits after a semester of stress and drama.

but what do i wake up to this morning? the worst text imaginable prompting me to immediately call her. the following conversation ensues:

dumbho: "i think im pregnant."
me: :eek:eek:eek:eek:eek WHAT THE FUCK HOW
dumbho: idk. ive been so sick the past three days, before i even thought about wanting to end things with you. i woke up at 5 AM this morning and had to run to the bathroom to vomit. ive felt sick to my stomach for two days, i keep puking, im more emotional than ever, my tits are tender, and ive been getting menstrual cramps
me: well thank god maybe its just a rough period?
dumbho: no, im on my birth control and my period isnt for two more weeks
me: but if youre on your birth control then how the fuck could you be pregnant? you ARE taking it around the same time EVERY SINGLE DAY like youre supposed to (and like you told me you were), right?
dumbfuckingidiot: .....no. every now and then like i miss a day and take two at once sometimes...im just really bad at keeping on time with it.
me: :BANG:BANG:BANG:BANG
dumbcunt: well its probably nothing, theres no need to get so bent out of shape or worried im gonna take a pregnancy test later today.


are you fucking kidding me? first off, i am on adderall right now, and any time something remotely stressfull starts going down its more or less irreversible and it drives me crazy until it is resolved. second off, this girl is so fucking stupid i cant even come up with the words to describe it. she has birth control, told me to stop using condoms, guaranteed me she was taking it correctly, then waits until she thinks shes pregnant to tell me she hadnt been. i hadnt came inside of her, but when you fuck four or five times in a few hours, im sure theres some sperm or two still chillin on my dick that wana crawl their way up her retarded vagina. lastly, and worst of all, she is a christian fuckbag and does not believe in abortion, whether you catch it in 1 week (last time we fucked) or 1 month. she has said before, "if i got pregnant, im having it and keeping it," thus prompting me to get her on the birth control to begin with...and now she pulls this.

so what the fuck do i do!? miss nonchalant cuntasaurus-ex is taking her dandy old fucking time and taking a nap before she gets a pregnancy test, and im stuck in the library bugging the fuck out.

every website i look at that says "first signs of pregnancy" is pointing towards...YOURE FUCKED. i can NOT have a child at 20 years old, let alone with this crazy bitch as a mother. im just going nuts...i dont know what to do until she takes that test; nothing is taking my mind off it.

:shrug

:lol :lol :lol

sorry dude, i can't help laughing. seriously though, fuck that. i've been through this before with a girl who can't have kids, her mom told me the same thing. it was all a hoax.

hope it's not true, but if it is, just man up...things will cool off eventually.

[clcfball11]

I mean, I agree with you. I haev been on the pill for a decade now, and I still take it religiously, and I can empathize with the whole "she's on BC so I dont have to worry" mind-set.

But, I'm sure that you understand that you not using a condom still poses the slight chance that your girl could get pregnant. And, if that happens, you can't really have any room to be shocked because that's a risk you take with not using condoms.

Or am I totally wrong in that thinking?

No, you are 100% correct. I believe many of us are focusing on separate parts of the OP's story/situation, leading to disagreements.

As a guy who has gone through the same thing (often), it is infuriating when the girl non-chalantly tosses out there that she has missed it a few times here and there. When a guy lays pipe and the girl is on the pill, we are 100% assuming that the girl is taking it correctly, and therefore getting the supposed 99% effectiveness that the pill provides. It shouldn't be that difficult to do whatsoever.

If the girl is taking the pill religiously, same time every day, etc. and she gets knocked up, that is simply an unlucky break that both people need to own up to.

Obviously, both people need to own up to it either way, but it would be really hard to not have some serious anger about a girl that you knocked up simply because she wasn't taking it right.

[MDrums54]

UPDATE

sooooooo i just walked in her apartment to find her in the bathroom taking a test. i bought one of my own just in case. hers took twice as long as what it said it should have taken, but the results were negative.

mine worked right on time, and it was negative as well. shes a little worried that they might not be accurate because shes not supposed to have her period for another two weeks, but the test i got measures the about of hCG (pregnancy hormone) in her urine. that hormone level spikes approximately 6 days after conception and doubles every day after that for a while, and today is the 8th day from when we had sex last.

both tests being negative = me rolling a fat fucking blunt to accompany my glass of admiral nelson and coke. i know this shits not over until she takes another test after shes "supposed" to menstruate, but im much less nervous about the outcome now than i was a few hours back.

you are all the most cynical bunch of fuckers ive ever met, but know id be just as bad had someone else posted this.

i have learned that i am always using a condom unless that bitch has her tubes tied. in fact, i am going to Sam's Club in about 20 minutes with my roommate, and buying the box of 100.

wwhhheeeeewww

[manderso]

Why hasn't OP come back yet??? I need pics and updates!

Edit: Fantastic timing!

[Miyamoto]

OP, look. You're fine. You're ex-gf is not pregnant. All women, no matter how much they say they believe in Christianity, are mean cunts. You just broke up with her, she just drops this on you right after. Do the math, dude.

[lockman21]

i am going to Sam's Club in about 20 minutes with my roommate, and buying the box of 100.

lol, you gay?

[breckbrew]

I can't wait for this to go to family court:

MDrums: Judge, I can't be responsible for this kid. She told me she was on the pill!
Judge: STFU!

[kittensXLI]

UPDATE

sooooooo i just walked in her apartment to find her in the bathroom taking a test. i bought one of my own just in case. hers took twice as long as what it said it should have taken, but the results were negative.

mine worked right on time, and it was negative as well. shes a little worried that they might not be accurate because shes not supposed to have her period for another two weeks, but the test i got measures the about of hCG (pregnancy hormone) in her urine. that hormone level spikes approximately 6 days after conception and doubles every day after that for a while, and today is the 8th day from when we had sex last.

both tests being negative = me rolling a fat fucking blunt to accompany my glass of admiral nelson and coke. i know this shits not over until she takes another test after shes "supposed" to menstruate, but im much less nervous about the outcome now than i was a few hours back.

you are all the most cynical bunch of fuckers ive ever met, but know id be just as bad had someone else posted this.

i have learned that i am always using a condom unless that bitch has her tubes tied. in fact, i am going to Sam's Club in about 20 minutes with my roommate, and buying the box of 100.

wwhhheeeeewww
Gayest idea ever.

[dmbgodagirl41]

If you get your period early, that means she didn't take her pill and her cycle just starts/she sheds her lining that she's building up early.

Deep breath.

[gocubsgo3822]

Thread fail

Worked up about nothing

[gregory311]

UPDATEi am going to Sam's Club in about 20 minutes with my roommate, and buying the box of 100.

Better pick up some anal ease for your roommate.

[breckbrew]

This thread is now turning in an even better direction. OP got scared about having a kid and has given up on the ladies.

[Haiku Jimi]

UPDATE


you are all the most cynical bunch of fuckers ive ever met

:lol

Anyway, congrats on her not being preggers.

[MDrums54]

No, you are 100% correct. I believe many of us are focusing on separate parts of the OP's story/situation, leading to disagreements.

As a guy who has gone through the same thing (often), it is infuriating when the girl non-chalantly tosses out there that she has missed it a few times here and there. When a guy lays pipe and the girl is on the pill, we are 100% assuming that the girl is taking it correctly, and therefore getting the supposed 99% effectiveness that the pill provides. It shouldn't be that difficult to do whatsoever.

If the girl is taking the pill religiously, same time every day, etc. and she gets knocked up, that is simply an unlucky break that both people need to own up to.

Obviously, both people need to own up to it either way, but it would be really hard to not have some serious anger about a girl that you knocked up simply because she wasn't taking it right.

amen...the source of all my stress. its one thing if she took it correctly and it still just happened. thats a situation i can be at peace with and accept. but the fact that she lied about taking it just really bothers me.

again, my analogy is if i poked holes in a condom and assured the girl it was a new, good condom, i am a total fucking lying asshole. once we fuck, the chances of pregnancy are the exact same as if there was no condom to begin with. should the girl become pregnant, no one can say, "well you shouldve used a condom," because she did, and she thought she was 98% guaranteed protection. had she known the condom was no good, she never would have done it. and had i known my girl wasnt taking her shit the right way, i would have absolutely used a condom.

either way, lesson learned.

[dmbmuskie]

I wanted a baby.:thumbsdow

[thebestauntie]

I wanted a baby.:thumbsdow
Call Katie, work it out.

[dmbgodagirl41]

I wanted a baby.:thumbsdow

Dude, your avatar.
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

That'll be you and me if your ass puts any pitsburgh shit on Little Tommy Brady.

[MDrums54]

Gayest idea ever.

...because having sex and saving money is gay.

:thumbsdow

[~Crashintome89~]

hahaa wtf? Admiral Nelson? Really? :lol :lol :lol :lol

Damn, I was really hoping for a baby too.

[dmbmuskie]

Dude, your avatar.
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

That'll be you and me if your ass puts any pitsburgh shit on Little Tommy Brady.

I'm going to pull a Kittens and completely disown the Steelers, so no worries.

[rickyh24]

I wanted a baby.:thumbsdow

I agree. Huge letdown.

[dmbgodagirl41]

amen...the source of all my stress. its one thing if she took it correctly and it still just happened. thats a situation i can be at peace with and accept. but the fact that she lied about taking it just really bothers me.

again, my analogy is if i poked holes in a condom and assured the girl it was a new, good condom, i am a total fucking lying asshole. once we fuck, the chances of pregnancy are the exact same as if there was no condom to begin with. should the girl become pregnant, no one can say, "well you shouldve used a condom," because she did, and she thought she was 98% guaranteed protection. had she known the condom was no good, she never would have done it. and had i known my girl wasnt taking her shit the right way, i would have absolutely used a condom.

either way, lesson learned.

I seriously hope you punched her in the gunt and then told her that if she ever talks to you again, you'll not only fuck her sister/best friend, but tell everyone that she actually is pregnant, but she doesn't know whose it is.

[dmbgodagirl41]

I'm going to pull a Kittens and completely disown the Steelers, so no worries.

:lol You can't! How else are we hate f*cking through the playoffs????

[k270]

it is currently 2 PM, and I am quite surprised I have yet to have a heart/panic/anxiety attack...i am literally freaking the fuck out.

Looooooong story to a short one: i just broke up with my lady partner this past saturday. it was a mutual long-time coming type of thing because our relationship just wasnt working (im an idiot for talking to her at all). so finally we call it quits after a semester of stress and drama.

but what do i wake up to this morning? the worst text imaginable prompting me to immediately call her. the following conversation ensues:

dumbho: "i think im pregnant."
me: :eek:eek:eek:eek:eek WHAT THE FUCK HOW
dumbho: idk. ive been so sick the past three days, before i even thought about wanting to end things with you. i woke up at 5 AM this morning and had to run to the bathroom to vomit. ive felt sick to my stomach for two days, i keep puking, im more emotional than ever, my tits are tender, and ive been getting menstrual cramps
me: well thank god maybe its just a rough period?
dumbho: no, im on my birth control and my period isnt for two more weeks
me: but if youre on your birth control then how the fuck could you be pregnant? you ARE taking it around the same time EVERY SINGLE DAY like youre supposed to (and like you told me you were), right?
dumbfuckingidiot: .....no. every now and then like i miss a day and take two at once sometimes...im just really bad at keeping on time with it.
me: :BANG:BANG:BANG:BANG
dumbcunt: well its probably nothing, theres no need to get so bent out of shape or worried im gonna take a pregnancy test later today.


are you fucking kidding me? first off, i am on adderall right now, and any time something remotely stressfull starts going down its more or less irreversible and it drives me crazy until it is resolved. second off, this girl is so fucking stupid i cant even come up with the words to describe it. she has birth control, told me to stop using condoms, guaranteed me she was taking it correctly, then waits until she thinks shes pregnant to tell me she hadnt been. i hadnt came inside of her, but when you fuck four or five times in a few hours, im sure theres some sperm or two still chillin on my dick that wana crawl their way up her retarded vagina. lastly, and worst of all, she is a christian fuckbag and does not believe in abortion, whether you catch it in 1 week (last time we fucked) or 1 month. she has said before, "if i got pregnant, im having it and keeping it," thus prompting me to get her on the birth control to begin with...and now she pulls this.

so what the fuck do i do!? miss nonchalant cuntasaurus-ex is taking her dandy old fucking time and taking a nap before she gets a pregnancy test, and im stuck in the library bugging the fuck out.

every website i look at that says "first signs of pregnancy" is pointing towards...YOURE FUCKED. i can NOT have a child at 20 years old, let alone with this crazy bitch as a mother. im just going nuts...i dont know what to do until she takes that test; nothing is taking my mind off it.

:shrug


I'm not a doctor but have some questions.

Question one: Women have periods once a month, right?

Question Two: If she was going to have her period in two weeks, that means she had her period two weeks ago. Now, let's get technical. Doesn't morning sickness start 4 to 6 weeks into pregnancy?

[rickyh24]

I'm going to pull a Kittens and completely disown the Steelers, so no worries.

dude wtf you talking about?? He is a Cardinals fan.

[dmbmuskie]

:lol You can't! How else are we hate f*cking through the playoffs????

I could never give up on the Steelers or the dirty hate love we will make.

[dmbgodagirl41]

I'm not a doctor but have some questions.

Question one: Women have periods once a month, right?

Question Two: If she was going to have her period in two weeks, that means she had her period two weeks ago. Now, let's get technical. Doesn't morning sickness start 4 to 6 weeks into pregnancy?

Answer one: Yes, but they don't have to if they are on the pill.

Answer two: If she was going to have her period in two weeks, she STARTED her period two weeks ago, so she'd be in the fifth week, essentially. Usually an "early" period comes if the pill is taken regularly and then not taken for a few days...spotting will occur because your body's hormones will overcompensate and start spotting.

[manderso]

Well this thread burned fast and bright. Move along people, nothing to see here.

[curlycal]

...i guess i got here too late.

on another note, its surprising how little males understand about the female body. if you never came inside of her, she was on the pill (although not as directed, still some what effective), AND it was the first week of her cycle (means no ovulations, two weeks till period and you said you fucked 8 days ago), it was very unlikely. in addition, its a waste to take a pregnancy test before you miss a period. the end.

[americanemu25]

o man! i cant wait to br this when i get home from work...it seems hilarious

[dmbmuskie]

dude wtf you talking about?? He is a Cardinals,Lions,Chiefs, Chargers, Seahawks, Jags, Bengals, Bears, Rams, Ravens, Eagles, Jets Giants fan.

fixed

[41ravens]

I'm not a doctor but have some questions.

Question one: Women have periods once a month, right?

Question Two: If she was going to have her period in two weeks, that means she had her period two weeks ago. Now, let's get technical. Doesn't morning sickness start 4 to 6 weeks into pregnancy?

i don't think there's any set time for morning sickness to begin.

also, hate to bring the op down from his cloud, but those tests don't really mean shit. is she pregnant? probably not. but nobody's in the clear till she has her period.

[dmbgodagirl41]

I could never give up on the Steelers or the dirty hate love we will make.

:thumbsup

[Butterfingerz]

light all her shit on fire, score drugs, get lit and forget about it.

[americanemu25]

o and next time piihb

[41ravens]

...i guess i got here too late.

on another note, its surprising how little males understand about the female body. if you never came inside of her, she was on the pill (although not as directed, still some what effective), AND it was the first week of her cycle (means no ovulations, two weeks till period and you said you fucked 8 days ago), it was very unlikely. in addition, its a waste to take a pregnancy test before you miss a period. the end.

a. just because he didn't cum inside of her, doesn't mean anything. prejac has sperm.

2. you answered your own question with the "somewhat effective". especially if she was irregular with taking it.

and d. we're going by his math on the period/last time they had sex thing. he probably has no idea what her cycle is.

i will agree with you on the wait to take a test till the period is missed, though.

[hoggdogg]

Nothing like some good old fashioned sex ed, ants style.

[kittensXLI]

...because having sex and saving money is gay.

:thumbsdow
I was talking about the bolded part of you and your roommate buying 100 condoms together, noob.

I'm going to pull a Kittens and completely disown the Steelers, so no worries.
It sucks when the majority of your franchise includes people you hate.

[vaxarado]

And while it appears to be that way anyway, this thread is useless without pics of the fake-out baby momma.

[dmbmuskie]

I was talking about the bolded part of you and your roommate buying 100 condoms together, noob.


It sucks when the majority of your franchise includes people you hate.

I hadn't seen you around in a while. I figured you spontaneously combusted when Ward called Ben a pussy.

[dmbgodagirl41]

a. just because he didn't cum inside of her, doesn't mean anything. prejac has sperm.

2. you answered your own question with the "somewhat effective". especially if she was irregular with taking it.

and d. we're going by his math on the period/last time they had sex thing. he probably has no idea what her cycle is.

i will agree with you on the wait to take a test till the period is missed, though.

home alone numbering, FTW, Buzz! :lol
a. i'm not that lucky.
2. we have smoke alarms
and d. we live on the most boring street in the united states of america where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. period.

[rickyh24]

fixed

:lol:lol:lol:thumbsup:thumbsup

[manderso]

So then what was this chicks problem if not preggo? Swine flu?

[kittensXLI]

I hadn't seen you around in a while. I figured you spontaneously combusted when Ward called Ben a pussy.
Yeah it's been a while. Don't get me started haha.

[41ravens]

home alone numbering, FTW, Buzz! :lol
a. i'm not that lucky.
2. we have smoke alarms
and d. we live on the most boring street in the united states of america where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. period.

i use the home alone numbering system as often as i can.

[manderso]

A leprechaun got her pregnant. They don't show up on tests you know. It's gonna bust out of her belly after 4 months. These people know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

[ComeNFrmTheCold]

Pics or GTFO

[dmbgodagirl41]

i use the home alone numbering system as often as i can.

Is there any other way, really?

[vaxarado]

Pics or GTFO

:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

[jkrue22]

Pics or GTFO

In a related story... the 2nd most viewed picture in AM.org history:

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?p=10079514#post10079514

[manderso]

In a related story... the 2nd most viewed picture in AM.org history:

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?p=10079514#post10079514

What's the first?

[breckbrew]

Pics or GTFO

Does she have a belly bump already? Jesus she's moving fast.

[dmbmuskie]

In a related story... the 2nd most viewed picture in AM.org history:

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?p=10079514#post10079514

:lol Is this the same girl?

[MDrums54]

I seriously hope you punched her in the gunt and then told her that if she ever talks to you again, you'll not only fuck her sister/best friend, but tell everyone that she actually is pregnant, but she doesn't know whose it is.

yea well i think im glad this happened because she just freaked out and told me she wanted to slap me for even bringing up gettin an abortion and that "if she makes adult decisions she can deal with the adult consequences. " so now its much easier to move on from her seeing her reveal her inner bitch.

and "adult decision," is being honest about how you take your birth control. maybe shell learn once the next lucky guy knocks her up. im just happy im done with it...shes someone elses problem now.

[manderso]

yea well i think im glad this happened because she just freaked out and told me she wanted to slap me for even bringing up gettin an abortion and that "if she makes adult decisions she can deal with the adult consequences. " so now its much easier to move on from her seeing her reveal her inner bitch.

and "adult decision," is being honest about how you take your birth control. maybe shell learn once the next lucky guy knocks her up. im just happy im done with it...shes someone elses problem now.

One mans trash is another mans treasure.

[jkrue22]

What's the first?

I'm guessing Kappa Kate

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?t=238575

[vaxarado]

:lol Is this the same girl?

Don't think so. Think this was the random slam-piece.

So now we need pics of no longer baby-momma to compare.

[jkrue22]

:lol Is this the same girl?

I think it's been confirmed this is MDrums' slampiece on the side... so no.

[dmbmuskie]

Don't think so. Think this was the random slam-piece.

So now we need pics of no longer baby-momma to compare.

I'm really upset about missing out on sexting in college. I had a shitty little Nokia that weighed about 5 pounds and had an awesome 2 color display.

[thebestauntie]

In a related story... the 2nd most viewed picture in AM.org history:

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?p=10079514#post10079514
Ha ha, I was expecting your post to be "Abstinence FTW!"

[wnderwoman]

Well you're obviously sterile.

[NextMovement41]

Well you're obviously sterile.

:lol:lol

[jkrue22]

Ha ha, I was expecting your post to be "Abstinence FTW!"

I was a little late on that, I think someone said it on the first page otherwise I would have. :)

[rickyh24]

Well you're obviously sterile.

:lol:lol:lol

[dmbgodagirl41]

Well you're obviously sterile.

hahahahahahhahaha ahhahahahahaha
*hack*cough*choke*
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahaa
:lol :lol :lol

[thebestauntie]

Well you're obviously sterile.
Blololololololo
I was a little late on that, I think someone said it on the first page otherwise I would have. :)
Ah, I missed that post.

[Ascf33]

I only read the first few posts and already I can see that Katie most likely made all 11 pages of this thread about her.

[guitarplayer554]

Yep, her doctor called and um...she got knocked up.

The ex pulled the "Im pregnant" line on me on April Fools. I almost killed a bitch when she picked up her phone laughing her ass off bc I was freaking out.

[DrewD55]

Does this story have a resolution yet? Not really feeling the desire to slog my way through 12 pages right now.

[FenceJ7]

Does this story have a resolution yet? Not really feeling the desire to slog my way through 12 pages right now.


i think they took some tests and no body is knocked up sooo....:thumbsdow:thumbsdow

but hey....it could happen

[manderso]

Does this story have a resolution yet? Not really feeling the desire to slog my way through 12 pages right now.

OP is not going to be a daddy. Great disappointment for all. Except OP I guess. He's converted to teh geigh and has gone to Sams Club with his new bf for economy sized lube and condoms.

[DrewD55]

i think they took some tests and no body is knocked up sooo....:thumbsdow:thumbsdow

but hey....it could happen
Well, were I in his shoes, I'd count it as a big fucking relief. Great post to start the thread, though. Wish I could have been around to follow it throughout.

[RJP2741]

Given that its been 2.5 hours, I'm assuming this is worth a backread, but could someone confirm this for me?

[breckbrew]

it is currently 2 PM, and I am quite surprised I have yet to have a heart/panic/anxiety attack...i am literally freaking the fuck out.

Looooooong story to a short one: i just broke up with my lady partner this past saturday. it was a mutual long-time coming type of thing because our relationship just wasnt working (im an idiot for talking to her at all). so finally we call it quits after a semester of stress and drama.

but what do i wake up to this morning? the worst text imaginable prompting me to immediately call her. the following conversation ensues:

dumbho: "i think im pregnant."
me: :eek:eek:eek:eek:eek WHAT THE FUCK HOW
dumbho: idk. ive been so sick the past three days, before i even thought about wanting to end things with you. i woke up at 5 AM this morning and had to run to the bathroom to vomit. ive felt sick to my stomach for two days, i keep puking, im more emotional than ever, my tits are tender, and ive been getting menstrual cramps
me: well thank god maybe its just a rough period?
dumbho: no, im on my birth control and my period isnt for two more weeks
me: but if youre on your birth control then how the fuck could you be pregnant? you ARE taking it around the same time EVERY SINGLE DAY like youre supposed to (and like you told me you were), right?
dumbfuckingidiot: .....no. every now and then like i miss a day and take two at once sometimes...im just really bad at keeping on time with it.
me: :BANG:BANG:BANG:BANG
dumbcunt: well its probably nothing, theres no need to get so bent out of shape or worried im gonna take a pregnancy test later today.


are you fucking kidding me? first off, i am on adderall right now, and any time something remotely stressfull starts going down its more or less irreversible and it drives me crazy until it is resolved. second off, this girl is so fucking stupid i cant even come up with the words to describe it. she has birth control, told me to stop using condoms, guaranteed me she was taking it correctly, then waits until she thinks shes pregnant to tell me she hadnt been. i hadnt came inside of her, but when you fuck four or five times in a few hours, im sure theres some sperm or two still chillin on my dick that wana crawl their way up her retarded vagina. lastly, and worst of all, she is a christian fuckbag and does not believe in abortion, whether you catch it in 1 week (last time we fucked) or 1 month. she has said before, "if i got pregnant, im having it and keeping it," thus prompting me to get her on the birth control to begin with...and now she pulls this.

so what the fuck do i do!? miss nonchalant cuntasaurus-ex is taking her dandy old fucking time and taking a nap before she gets a pregnancy test, and im stuck in the library bugging the fuck out.

every website i look at that says "first signs of pregnancy" is pointing towards...YOURE FUCKED. i can NOT have a child at 20 years old, let alone with this crazy bitch as a mother. im just going nuts...i dont know what to do until she takes that test; nothing is taking my mind off it.

:shrug

UPDATE

sooooooo i just walked in her apartment to find her in the bathroom taking a test. i bought one of my own just in case. hers took twice as long as what it said it should have taken, but the results were negative.

mine worked right on time, and it was negative as well. shes a little worried that they might not be accurate because shes not supposed to have her period for another two weeks, but the test i got measures the about of hCG (pregnancy hormone) in her urine. that hormone level spikes approximately 6 days after conception and doubles every day after that for a while, and today is the 8th day from when we had sex last.

both tests being negative = me rolling a fat fucking blunt to accompany my glass of admiral nelson and coke. i know this shits not over until she takes another test after shes "supposed" to menstruate, but im much less nervous about the outcome now than i was a few hours back.

you are all the most cynical bunch of fuckers ive ever met, but know id be just as bad had someone else posted this.

i have learned that i am always using a condom unless that bitch has her tubes tied. in fact, i am going to Sam's Club in about 20 minutes with my roommate, and buying the box of 100.

wwhhheeeeewww

So you're going to bang her tomorrow night right?

[haybale97]

this thread had so much potential for me until i got to the bottom of page one and saw that there were eleven more pages. jesus christ.

op, i'm happy for you though, thank god this worked out all right, i don't wish this upon anybody who doesn't want it

[thebestauntie]

Given that its been 2.5 hours, I'm assuming this is worth a backread, but could someone confirm this for me?
It is worth the effort RJ.

[RJP2741]

It is worth the effort RJ.

Excellent. Be back in 10 minutes.

[Jimi Thing 10]

She's probably still pregnant.

[DMBBeav]

Use a rubber every single time unless you are ok with the idea of having kids / getting an STD.

Girls forget the pill.

The pill isn't 100% effective.

The pull-out method doesn't work.

Girls lie about being on the pill.

Depending on age, some girls want a certain guy to get them pregnant.

STDs exist.

All of the listed reasons are common things that occur and result in a baby or STD. If every person on the planet used a condom everytime, the amount of unwanted pregnancies and STDs would plummet. People don't use a condom every single time because they think it won't happen to them.

[TapNorris]

Why can't you score any touchdowns...fuck!


Sorry off-topic

FUCK!! Poor play calling. FUCK!

Seriously though, fatherhood's a blast!!

[scottbtdmb]

You need an umbrella if it starts to rain
You need an umbrella if it starts to rain
You need an umbrella if it starts to rain
So why didn't you just bring a raincoat?

[RJP2741]

That was excellent.

[antsman41]

wow I'm tired from all of that...

[Jake]

and may your first child be a masculine child!

[Haiku Jimi]

Use a rubber every single time unless you are ok with the idea of having kids / getting an STD.

Girls forget the pill.

The pill isn't 100% effective.

The pull-out method doesn't work.

Girls lie about being on the pill.

Depending on age, some girls want a certain guy to get them pregnant.

STDs exist.

All of the listed reasons are common things that occur and result in a baby or STD. If every person on the planet used a condom everytime, the amount of unwanted pregnancies and STDs would plummet. People don't use a condom every single time because they think it won't happen to them.


Or because they want to be able to actually feel something during sex (guy) / don't wan't an irritated vagina (girl) :)

Besides, I heard that if the girl is on top, she can't get preggers. It's a gravity thing.

[doesmusicbest]

Besides, I heard that if the girl is on top, she can't get preggers. It's a gravity thing.

Truth. It's fisix.

[Haiku Jimi]

Truth. It's fisix.

Thought it was geomatree, summin' to do with the trajektorie of the sperms.

[doesmusicbest]

Thought it was geomatree, summin' to do with the trajektorie of the sperms.

Common misconception. (LOLOLOL c wat i did thur?)

[Haiku Jimi]

Common misconception. (LOLOLOL c wat i did thur?)

:lol

[DIDriveOut2SPAC]

Didn't read past the first page, however, I hope this girl isn't pregnant because you both seem too immature to be in college, let alone raise a kid. You also seem to not have to decency to respect woman let a lone a child from this woman. If she is pregnant, an abortion is the best option for the little guy.

[Tiduwho]

Damn. I read the first two pages, and I bet the rest are pretty good as well, but I've got too much and too little damn.


Expect a week from now to get an "omg, it's positive. i just took one again, it must have been too soon before."

[Bohrman26]

There is too much for me to quote in this thread. Massive lulz on every page it seems. This has been fantastic.

[canes101190]

This was one of the most entertaining backreads ever. Thank you all, now I must go back to studying.

[jenben41]

UPDATE

sooooooo i just walked in her apartment to find her in the bathroom taking a test. i bought one of my own just in case. hers took twice as long as what it said it should have taken, but the results were negative.

mine worked right on time, and it was negative as well. shes a little worried that they might not be accurate because shes not supposed to have her period for another two weeks, but the test i got measures the about of hCG (pregnancy hormone) in her urine. that hormone level spikes approximately 6 days after conception and doubles every day after that for a while, and today is the 8th day from when we had sex last.

both tests being negative = me rolling a fat fucking blunt to accompany my glass of admiral nelson and coke. i know this shits not over until she takes another test after shes "supposed" to menstruate, but im much less nervous about the outcome now than i was a few hours back.

you are all the most cynical bunch of fuckers ive ever met, but know id be just as bad had someone else posted this.

i have learned that i am always using a condom unless that bitch has her tubes tied. in fact, i am going to Sam's Club in about 20 minutes with my roommate, and buying the box of 100.

wwhhheeeeewww

Sorry partner, you aren't going to get an accurate reading 6 days after conception. Most women will get an accurate test anywhere between 12 and 18 days after conception. The SOONEST she should take it (and trust it) is the day she's expecting her period.

There's still hope!

[jmudmbphan]

mark. peterson.


/thread

[lockman21]

Truth. It's fisix.

Thought it was geomatree, summin' to do with the trajektorie of the sperms.

Common misconception. (LOLOLOL c wat i did thur?)

:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol

[k270]

mark. peterson.


/thread



I think you mean Scott Peterson.

[Rodey]

I really should read this topic (I only got to page 4) but hasn't anyone asked why you just didn't put it in her butt?

Zero risk of pregnancy that way.

[Bohrman26]

I really should read this topic (I only got to page 4) but hasn't anyone asked why you just didn't put it in her butt?

Zero risk of pregnancy that way.

It's been said. I don't know what page but I distinctly remember seeing a piihb somewhere.

[UNLTrpt]

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool!

[gocubsgo3822]

I really should read this topic (I only got to page 4) but hasn't anyone asked why you just didn't put it in her butt?

Zero risk of pregnancy that way.

:lol:lol:lol:lol

[gocubsgo3822]

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool!
False. Wrapping your tool isnt cool.

[DreamingTree#41]

Not backreading...you a dad?

[Bohrman26]

Not backreading...you a dad?

Really worth the backread.

[rconverse]

Why do men hate condoms so much?

Plus, the pill isn't exactly side-effect free, so for some, I can totally see how it would be a pain to take it.

here, take this. You wont have kids, but you'll gain weight and be at higher risk for stroke and heart failure. But whatever, your guy wont have to wear a rubber, so that's whats really important!

Really, people?

Yes.

[DreamingTree#41]

Really worth the backread.

currently backreading :)

[manderso]

currently backreading :)

I'm guessing that you could provide some insight to OP.


http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?t=259793

[kgs305]

I could sig so many posts in here. Gold. Pure gold.

[thebestauntie]

I could sig so many posts in here. Gold. Pure gold.
I know, right? :lol

[kgs305]

Favorite post of the day, Men would eat bowls of that shit with 2 percent milk and a bagel.

[skwormin]

so... father?

[TempHelpNeeded]

And I thought I made bad decisions.

[thebestauntie]

And I thought I made bad decisions.
Oh my God, post of the day!!!!! :lol:lol:lol

[TempHelpNeeded]

Oh my God, post of the day!!!!! :lol:lol:lol


It's a sad truth. :lol

[ovationman240]

Why do men hate condoms so much?

Plus, the pill isn't exactly side-effect free, so for some, I can totally see how it would be a pain to take it.

here, take this. You wont have kids, but you'll gain weight and be at higher risk for stroke and heart failure. But whatever, your guy wont have to wear a rubber, so that's whats really important!

Really, people?

You will never under the amount of glory that is Raw Dogging. I haven't found a single feeling on this Earth that matches how good it feels.

Seriously. It's incredible.

EDIT: When you get used to doing it without one, having sex with a condom is ALMOST not fun.

[efraser77]

You will never under the amount of glory that is Raw Dogging. I haven't found a single feeling on this Earth that matches how good it feels.

Seriously. It's incredible.

EDIT: When you get used to doing it without one, having sex with a condom is ALMOST not fun.
:thumbsup

[thebestauntie]

It's a sad truth. :lol
I know, that's what makes it so perfect. :lol :hug :hug

[Bohrman26]

You will never under the amount of glory that is Raw Dogging. I haven't found a single feeling on this Earth that matches how good it feels.

Seriously. It's incredible.

EDIT: When you get used to doing it without one, having sex with a condom is ALMOST not fun.

Truth.

And if for nothing else, the term Raw Dogging is always great.

[LowEnd_Theory]

Poor kid, this is the OLDEST trick in the book...I don't care what you think, she didn't want to end the relationship. The bitch is crazy and is doing this to keep you around. Tell her thanks but no thanks, if you need someone in the delivery room I will be there for my child and GOODBYE.

Seriously, drop the above statement on her and BOOM POW in 2 weeks she will magically have had a miscarriage, they alllll do

This

[justink]

didnt you get sum with some slampiece and post noodz of her?

:stops reading

:"Find more posts by MDrums54"

[RJP2741]

:stops reading

:"Find more posts by MDrums54"

The noodz are linked to in this thread, just back read a few pages.

[Bohrman26]

The noodz are linked to in this thread, just back read a few pages.

And they are fantastic.

[thehammer316]

I havent back read enough, but I have had sex for 16 years, 99% rubber-free with no clapses. I only have 1 kid though. I am proud to be discease-free.

[rconverse]

And they are fantastic.

They are. The OP may be stupid, but that girl was hot.

[RJP2741]

I havent back read enough, but I have had sex for 16 years, 99% rubber-free with no clapses. I only have 1 kid that I know of. I am proud to be discease-free, except for AIDZ.

Fixed.

[Bohrman26]

I havent back read enough, but I have had sex for 16 years, 99% rubber-free with no clapses. I only have 1 kid though. I am proud to be discease-free.

:lol :thumbsup

They are. The OP may be stupid, but that girl was hot.

Oh, OP is an idiot no doubt. But, that girl was smokin hot. I'd definitely risk a pregnancy with her. I'd slam her to pieces.

[thehammer316]

Fixed.

The Aidz don't count no mo'!

[Bohrman26]

Fixed.

:lol

This thread is one giant lulz

[comerelaxnow]

Im actually in a similar situation. Condom broke and girlfriend is not good at taking her pills everyday. Not really worried about it but its only been a couple days

[kittensXLI]

OP's crazy girlfriend is her : http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538 ?

[Bohrman26]

Im actually in a similar situation. Condom broke and girlfriend is not good at taking her pills everyday. Not really worried about it but its only been a couple days

Get started on punching her in the stomach. Do it early enough and you'll avoid a thread like this.

[comerelaxnow]

OP's crazy girlfriend is her : http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538 ?

Hey i remember this pic being talked about before. Man shes hot

[comerelaxnow]

Get started on punching her in the stomach. Do it early enough and you'll avoid a thread like this.

Bad taste but i guess some may find it funny.

[thehammer316]

OP's crazy girlfriend is her : http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538 ?

Never, under any circumstance, fuck a Jersey Girl that has a black bar over her eyes...well....you could just fist-pumpiihb

[doesmusicbest]

OP's crazy girlfriend is her : http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538 ?

Negative. This is the hot yet multi-lingually inept slampiece OP cheated on his definitely pregnant girlfriend with.

[Bohrman26]

Bad taste but i guess some may find it funny.

Jokes are srs.

[PantalaNagaMan]

Mdrums,

I just got off the phone with her. She's thinking about naming it, "Thad". How do you feel about that?

[diableri]

Know how this could have been prevented?

Don't stick your bare dick into someone who might have teeth in their vagina.

And to the bolded....REALLY!? Fuck.

Edit: that'd be like dating a guy who said that he has to punch me across the face every time we have sex, and then I make a thread bitching about missing some teeth. Know how to prevent that? don't let the person punch you in the face, moron.

I was just doing some back reading and wanted you to know; you look fine missing a few teeth. It's hardly noticeable. :hug

[Bohrman26]

Mdrums,

I just got off the phone with her. She's thinking about naming it, "Thad". How do you feel about that?

He'll be able to play guitar hero acoustically!

[vaxarado]

OP, if she does in fact end up being knocked up, you can always buy this:

http://davematthewsband.shop.musictoday.com/Product.aspx?cp=1_5570&pc=DMCM53

[laststop_40]

Father?

[Foreverford05]

Need an Update, drums

[Jimi Thing 10]

Father?

Negative

[Bohrman26]

Need an Update, drums

He gave one a page or two ago.

[vaxarado]

He gave one a page or two ago.

Update without pics = FAIL

:lol:lol:lol

[PsUGiRlHoTtIe]

Wow, 14 pages about me? I'm flattered. This isn't a laughing matter, guys. The symptoms are still there and I am still freaking "the fuck" out.


:(

[Bohrman26]

Wow, 14 pages about me? I'm flattered. This isn't a laughing matter, guys. The symptoms are still there and I am still freaking "the fuck" out.


:(

Not buying it.

[map41]

this is one of the more interesting threads i've read

[doesmusicbest]

Wow, 14 pages about me? I'm flattered. This isn't a laughing matter, guys. The symptoms are still there and I am still freaking "the fuck" out.


:(

Weak.

Edit: She's hotter than you. (http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538)

[Bohrman26]

Weak.

Edit: She's hotter than you. (http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538)

Christ almighty that picture is fucking amazing EVERY single time I see it. Which is a lot....fap fap fap

[antsman41]

Wow, 14 pages about me? I'm flattered. This isn't a laughing matter, guys. The symptoms are still there and I am still freaking "the fuck" out.


:(

if this is infact you, what do you think of your ex bfs hot ass slampiece he sumed with the help by sum awesome fellow antz on a spanish paper?

[clcfball11]

Weak.

Edit: She's hotter than you. (http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538)

Gosh that thread was money.

[maccajo]

best of luck. really.

[urlittlebrother]

Weak.

Edit: She's hotter than you. (http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538)
damn

OP: If that chick's not pregos, you know what you gotta set your sights on ^^^

[thechad90000]

Weak.

Edit: She's hotter than you. (http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538)

My lord...I can't get enough that of that picture right there.

[thechad90000]

This thread is crazy as hell and is cracking me up

[vaxarado]

Weak.

Edit: She's hotter than you. (http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52538)

:lol:lol:lol

This thread still continues to bring the lulz.

And seriously, poor alter whoever did it.

[SqueeBaBooSquee]

Can someone give me the cliffnotes on the update?

I'm stealing shitty wireless internet from the neighbors that keeps fading in and out.blolo I don't feel like backreading for an hour right now.

What did preggo test say? Is she preggo? Is his life over? Wirehanger? Planned Parenthood? Is she hawt?, cause if she's extremely hot like blonde chick he was bangin he might be able to put up with a little crazy. All this and more I would like to know please ne1?

[andrewj063]

Can someone give me the cliffnotes on the update?

I'm stealing shitty wireless internet from the neighbors that keeps fading in and out.blolo I don't feel like backreading for an hour right now.

What did preggo test say? Is she preggo? Is his life over? Wirehanger? Planned Parenthood? Is she hawt?, cause if she's extremely hot like blonde chick he was bangin he might be able to put up with a little crazy. All this and more I would like to know please ne1?
OP freaked. No preggo for his leggo. Tons of funny stuff. Well worth the read.

[urlittlebrother]

:lol:lol:lol

This thread still continues to bring the lulz.

And seriously, poor alter whoever did it.
Go Bucks

[vaxarado]

Go Bucks

Go Bucks!

Just gotta get through finals. :BANG

OSU having finals after you've mentally checked out during Thanksgiving blows.

[urlittlebrother]

Go Bucks!

Just gotta get through finals. :BANG

OSU having finals after you've mentally checked out during Thanksgiving blows.
yup. our schedule fucks everything up

[PantalaNagaMan]

Maybe win us a BCS this year, huh? :)

[vaxarado]

Maybe win us a BCS this year, huh? :)

I sure as hell hope so. If it wasn't for our recent struggles (people forget that before Florida, we dominated BCS bowl games), I'd be pretty confident in heading into the Rose Bowl.

[whiteysax]

I'm totally reading all 15 pages... where are my chips?

Yeah, but that's what she TOLD you. Sometimes what we say and what we mean are two different things.
bitches runnin' wild, yo

[vaxarado]

I'm totally reading all 15 pages... where are my chips?


bitches runnin' wild, yo

:thumbsup Definitely worth the read.

[whiteysax]

Ants help Ants get sum....ironic no?
oh that's right! I forgot this is the same guy! lulz^2

:slowclap:lol:lol

Why do women hate raw dick so much?

Try stuffing a ziploc bag (a hefty bag for you, katie) inside your vag and see how much you like it.

Take the fucking pill. If there was a male version, we'd eat bowls of that shit in the morning with 2 percent milk and a bagel.:lol:lol:lol:lol best quote of the thread if not of the year!

:lol no, it was 1/2 sarcastic, but I would think that if you don't like to use one and you don't, you have no room to say "oh no, i think she's pregnant!"

No shit?
so I shouldn't complain after we boink?

Nothing like some good old fashioned sex ed, ants style.this one time, at band camp....

I'm really upset about missing out on sexting in college. I had a shitty little Nokia that weighed about 5 pounds and had an awesome 2 color display.best thing about that phone... the game snake. So many wasted hours.

OP is not going to be a daddy. Great disappointment for all. Except OP I guess. He's converted to teh geigh and has gone to Sams Club with his new bf for economy sized lube and condoms.:lol:lol

Given that its been 2.5 hours, I'm assuming this is worth a backread, but could someone confirm this for me?totally worth the read... do it

Use a rubber every single time unless you are ok with the idea of having kids / getting an STD.

Girls forget the pill.

The pill isn't 100% effective.

The pull-out method doesn't work.

Girls lie about being on the pill.

Depending on age, some girls want a certain guy to get them pregnant.

STDs exist.

All of the listed reasons are common things that occur and result in a baby or STD. If every person on the planet used a condom everytime, the amount of unwanted pregnancies and STDs would plummet. People don't use a condom every single time because they think it won't happen to them.but i don't wanna

I really should read this topic (I only got to page 4) but hasn't anyone asked why you just didn't put it in her butt?

Zero risk of pregnancy that way.you can't have ass babies? damn my public school upbringing!

You will never under the amount of glory that is Raw Dogging. I haven't found a single feeling on this Earth that matches how good it feels.

Seriously. It's incredible.

EDIT: When you get used to doing it without one, having sex with a condom is ALMOST not fun.lord... shoot me if i ever allude to "sex not being fun"

Wow, 14 pages about me? I'm flattered. This isn't a laughing matter, guys. The symptoms are still there and I am still freaking "the fuck" out.


:(so you're single now?

:thumbsup Definitely worth the read.agreed!!

[whiteysax]

a can of Mt. Dew and pack of graham crackers later and that was a good read!!

[MGH4007]

How many times have I seen this happen, breakup and girl pulls out the prego card. Glad everything worked out.

[dre2142]

wouldnt expect anything less from the OP

[berman1125]

oh shiiiiiiit....


theres a lotta posts in here

[berman1125]

plan A: you're gonna have to sacrifice a clothes hanger
plan B: invite her up to talk, bring her upstairs, make sure she goes down them
plan C: this will be bloody, and much more complicated. PM.


:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol

[berman1125]

Some sperm or two still chillin definitely crawled up in her.

:lol:lol:lol

[berman1125]

Poor kid, this is the OLDEST trick in the book...I don't care what you think, she didn't want to end the relationship. The bitch is crazy and is doing this to keep you around. Tell her thanks but no thanks, if you need someone in the delivery room I will be there for my child and GOODBYE.

Seriously, drop the above statement on her and BOOM POW in 2 weeks she will magically have had a miscarriage, they alllll do


winner winner chicken dinner

[berman1125]

41Step is all like hahahaha booya

:lol:lol

[berman1125]

...exactly why i am freaking out. while i want nothing to do with this girl long-term, i still love her, and i could not live my life knowing i have a kid and not being there. my dad is the most important person in my life, and i couldnt live knowing i denied my own child of something i cherish so much.

that being said, again, this is why im going nuts. im a junior in college. im gonna be 21 in 2 months. i think about when class is over, whats going on this weekend, where i can get the best weed, and football. im enjoying the last few years i have of being an immature college kid who lives a perfect life in their little collegiate bubble before being thrown out into the real world, and this changes EVERYTHING. its like too much to think about


having said that...

[berman1125]

Know how this could have been prevented?

Don't stick your bare dick into someone who might have teeth in their vagina.

And to the bolded....REALLY!? Fuck.

Edit: that'd be like dating a guy who said that he has to punch me across the face every time we have sex, and then I make a thread bitching about missing some teeth. Know how to prevent that? don't let the person punch you in the face, moron.

no...

[berman1125]

You guys suck...what the fuck do you think I was quoting???

and Ricky we just watched this episode in the last week or so

i knew you were quoting lisa!!

[OlivePoet]

how about you comprehend that the pill and comdons rate of effectiveness are identical.

whats a bigger risk? not using BC and a condom breaking and coming inside of a girl, or using BC and no condom and coming outside of the girl?

You do realize that "rates of effectiveness" come from statistics based on lab results? Actual effectiveness drops with real-life usage.


Also, if you use a condom, you can still pull out.

[OlivePoet]

Also, before I read any further, I would like to state that I believe she is just fucking with you because you dumped her. And I really hope that's the case, based on what I've read so far.

[dmbmuskie]

I'm happy I never had a girl pull the "I'm having you baby" routine on me.

[OlivePoet]

They should put some kind of warning on the boxes saying condoms and Birth Control are not fully effective.

:lol :lol :lol You're awesome.

[OlivePoet]

yeah, dude, like someone already said, that pregs test won't really verify shit anyways. she needs to go to a dr.

and for what it's worth, i got a chick pregnant after being with her for only a month. we're now married, that kid is 3 and we also have an 8-month old. what i'm saying is, don't freak out too much cause sometimes these things actually turn out for the better. this is all assuming she's actually pregnant, of course.

You dick. I remember that happening...the time you knocked up a high schooler just to have an excuse to skip my birthday party.

[thebestauntie]

I'm happy I never had a girl pull the "I'm having you baby" routine on me.
You know what you get for that right? :D
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm24/thebestauntie/large_gold_star.png

[dmbmuskie]

You know what you get for that right? :D
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm24/thebestauntie/large_gold_star.png

Excellent.

My bat shit crazy whore radar is very good most of the time.

[berman1125]

+450 Not Pregnant
-500 Pregnant
-1500 Baby comes out black

Grow a dad-stache.

Had to bring this with me on the way to the store. Too many lulz.

Related topic: When you leave the abortion clinic will the protester say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays?"
:lol:lol:lol:lol

Why do men hate condoms so much?

Plus, the pill isn't exactly side-effect free, so for some, I can totally see how it would be a pain to take it.

here, take this. You wont have kids, but you'll gain weight and be at higher risk for stroke and heart failure. But whatever, your guy wont have to wear a rubber, so that's whats really important!

Really, people?

shut up

I don't think she's such a devout Christian if she'll let you pound her out without a rubber.

Yo man, if you did with her in a hot tub then you're good. Pure physics, man. Can never happen.

lol, you gay?

Gayest idea ever.

Well you're obviously sterile.

I only read the first few posts and already I can see that Katie most likely made all 11 pages of this thread about her.



:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol

[OlivePoet]

i don't think there's any set time for morning sickness to begin.

also, hate to bring the op down from his cloud, but those tests don't really mean shit. is she pregnant? probably not. but nobody's in the clear till she has her period.

Not true! Women can have their period while pregnant.

I'll be pissed if that happens to me.

[thebestauntie]

Excellent.

My bat shit crazy whore radar is very good most of the time.
With your reputation, that's a very good thing. ;) :lol

[OlivePoet]

That was fantastic. Thank you, everyone, especially you, OP.

[Sniper15]

Good thing she's not pregnant, the OP sounds like a complete douche that has no business raising a kid right now. The moral of this story is: Don't trust jersey bitches to take the pill properly.

[dmbmuskie]

With your reputation, that's a very good thing. ;) :lol

I'm a good guy. I just like to get drunk and make bad decisions.

[thebestauntie]

I'm a good guy. I just like to get drunk and make bad decisions.
One thing has very little to do with the other and it was the making bad decisions when drunk part that I was referring to. :)

[JBScout21]

Now this was a brilliant read to start my day!!



Edit: Does she at least like listening to DMB?

[dmbmuskie]

I think we need one epic thread per day.

[Miyamoto]

Why is this thread still going. Kid is in the clear = BOOOORING. Die thread, die.

[dmbgodagirl41]

I'm a good guy. I just like to get drunk and make bad decisions.

Soo youre going to Alpine, right? Bus bomb?

[dmbgodagirl41]

Why is this thread still going. Kid is in the clear = BOOOORING. Die thread, die.

lol u bitter?

[dmbmuskie]

Soo youre going to Alpine, right? Bus bomb?

I have no idea what a bus bomb is, but I'm sure I'm game.

[thebestauntie]

I have no idea what a bus bomb is, but I'm sure I'm game.
It will get you drunk and help you make some really bad decisions at Alpine. :evil :lol

[dmbgodagirl41]

I have no idea what a bus bomb is, but I'm sure I'm game.

you know a car bomb, right?

Well, you put 3 bottles of guinness in a pitcher, and then drop a glass (about 10 ounces) into it that's 1/2 jameson and 1/2 bailey's.

Then you chug and pray to the lush gods that you don't get a mouthful of jameson about 2/3 of the way through.

[MDrums54]

Why is this thread still going. Kid is in the clear = BOOOORING. Die thread, die.

lets hope to god im in the clear. :thumbsup

[dmbmuskie]

you know a car bomb, right?

Well, you put 3 bottles of guinness in a pitcher, and then drop a glass (about 10 ounces) into it that's 1/2 jameson and 1/2 bailey's.

Then you chug and pray to the lush gods that you don't get a mouthful of jameson about 2/3 of the way through.

That is for one person?:lol

[ruggr4]

Soo youre going to Alpine, right? Bus bomb?

Oh god.

I have no idea what a bus bomb is, but I'm sure I'm game.

You should NOT have said that. :lol

[ruggr4]

you know a car bomb, right?

Well, you put 3 bottles of guinness in a pitcher, and then drop a glass (about 10 ounces) into it that's 1/2 jameson and 1/2 bailey's.

Then you chug and pray to the lush gods that you don't get a mouthful of jameson about 2/3 of the way through.

My prayer fell on deaf ears...:shrug

[dmbmuskie]

You should NOT have said that. :lol


I'm in deep shit. I'm a distance runner not a sprinter.

[dmbgodagirl41]

That is for one person?:lol

Yes. Puss.

Oh god.



You should NOT have said that. :lol

Oh contraire, I think everyone should say yes!! We should try to get, like, 10 people to do it!! :lol

My prayer fell on deaf ears...:shrug

Both of ours did. Hahahahahahahahha

God, I need to re-watch that video. blolololo
"UGH JAMESON! BLUAHHHHHH...okay, I'm good. Almost puked there..."
"OKAY I"M DONE."

[ruggr4]

Both of ours did. Hahahahahahahahha

God, I need to re-watch that video. blolololo
"UGH JAMESON! BLUAHHHHHH...okay, I'm good. Almost puked there..."
"OKAY I"M DONE."

:lol We both almost lost our shit a couple of times. Ugh...when that Jameson hits ya outta nowhere...really? Fuck.

Edit: we should probably post the video so other people can get sum lulz...

[dmbmuskie]

Yes. Puss.



Oh contraire, I think everyone should say yes!! We should try to get, like, 10 people to do it!! :lol



Both of ours did. Hahahahahahahahha

God, I need to re-watch that video. blolololo
"UGH JAMESON! BLUAHHHHHH...okay, I'm good. Almost puked there..."
"OKAY I"M DONE."

Seriously, I would be one of those people the cops dragged off with no shirt, 1 shoe, and vomit crusted all over my face. I used to be able to drink like that 3 or 4 nights a week, but the last time I got involved in dumb shit like that the most disgusting/heroic drinking event of my life happened. I've never been the same. They very though of that much alcholol in 60 seconds makes me feel sick. I'm a puss.:lol

[thebestauntie]

Yes. Puss.



Oh contraire, I think everyone should say yes!! We should try to get, like, 10 people to do it!! :lol



Both of ours did. Hahahahahahahahha

God, I need to re-watch that video. blolololo
"UGH JAMESON! BLUAHHHHHH...okay, I'm good. Almost puked there..."
"OKAY I"M DONE."
And I will sit back and take the video. :lol:lol

[dmbmuskie]

And I will sit back and take the video. :lol:lol

If I pass out and look like I'm about to die please put the camera down and save my pathetic ass.

[thebestauntie]

If I pass out and look like I'm about to die please put the camera down and save my pathetic ass.
I can still record while saving your pathetic ass though, right?

[ruggr4]

I can still record while saving your pathetic ass though, right?

:lol

[dmbmuskie]

I can still record while saving your pathetic ass though, right?

I'll buy a tripod, so you can do both.

[thebestauntie]

I'll buy a tripod, so you can do both.
Then we have a deal.

[dmbgodagirl41]

And I will sit back and take the video. :lol:lol

Octobong my ass, deca-bus bomb!

[antsman41]

Octobong my ass, deca-bus bomb!

are those real? all I've smoked out of that are special are Zongs...

or vaps but they are not in the bong family tree...

[dmbgodagirl41]

are those real? all I've smoked out of that are special are Zongs...

or vaps but they are not in the bong family tree...

uhhh I'm talking about a beer bong, there, Cheech.

[antsman41]

uhhh I'm talking about a beer bong, there, Cheech.

ahh...

[Miyamoto]

lol u bitter?

lol u serious?

[dmbgodagirl41]

lol u serious?
:lol
because you touch yourself at night.

[Beebz]

http://img519.imageshack.us/i/pullingoutrn6.jpg/

[TapNorris]

Dude, you're gonna love it!!!

[Butterfingerz]

i imagine labor is now a total of 2 minutes

[Bostonsux013]

So fuck the backread...is this bitch prego?

[whiteysax]

So fuck the backread...is this bitch prego?
as of the day of this thread... no. she's just playing psycho... but female ants also noted that you don't get an accurate reading on the preggo sticks that soon after boning.

...to be continued

[lockman21]

as of the day of this thread... no. she's just playing psycho... but female ants also noted that you don't get an accurate reading on the preggo sticks that soon after boning.

...to be continued

That's assuming this thread is true.

[MDrums54]

So fuck the backread...is this bitch prego?

no, thank god.

[rconverse]

Hard to get a girl pregnant when you're not fucking one. Just say'n.

[Head In Hands]

did we ever find out what the piss test said?

my money's on no preggo eggo just a crazy whore looking to make his life kinda miserable during finals....lolz.

[Lude99]

as of the day of this thread... no. she's just playing psycho... but female ants also noted that you don't get an accurate reading on the preggo sticks that soon after boning.

...to be continued

Regardless of if shes playing psycho or not, there lessons here. Girls can be forgetfull about taking BC. They miss pills, they don't take them at the same time every day. WRAP IT UP. Don't rely on the girl. Take matters into your own hands and have your mind at ease.

[rconverse]

My guess is that none of this happened.

[Bohrman26]

My guess is that none of this happened.

I certainly don't believe it. Not now.

[thehammer316]

Hard to get a girl pregnant when you're not fucking one. Just say'n.
Who knew







































:lol:lol:lol:lol

[Tiduwho]

Good work buddy.

[Bohrman26]

Good work buddy.

Don't condone lying

[SqueeBaBooSquee]

tihs trhead iz epik.