Reaquainting with Former Co-workers (MessedUpc)

[rconverse]

So as I was getting ready to go to bed last night, I received the following text from a number which I have no contact data. I swear no texts have been altered at all.

12:06 a.m.

Whats up bro? Wanna git tweaked up tonight and find some chicks to fuck?. Jack K.

So, I’m thinking this is some spam or whatever and reply.

Sure.

Next text:

Finally, someone wants to party. I have plenty of party supplies. Know any chicks who might be up for it? What do you think about getting callgirls?

Again, I’m thinking this is some spam or whatever and reply. This is at 12:29 a.m.

Totally!

At this point, I’m literally crawling into bed, thinking the next text will be just Western Union x dollars and we can get this party started! You know, some scam or whatever this is will finally get to the punch line so to speak.

Next text:

Are you being serious. I am stone cold serious even though it’s late. A teakin group fuck, what’s better, Roger?

Okay, shit just got real. How does this spammer know my name? Seriously, wtf?

Who is this?

His replies:

Jack Kent
What?

My last text of the evening at exactly 12:30.

I can’t gotta get up for werk tomorrowz. :/

I woke up to the following texts:

ok. If u change your mind I will be up. My neighbor and his girlfriend are coming over. She is hot and a lot of fun to fuck. You two would probably cum a few times tgthr.

Have you ever fucked on this stuff?

Werk…just take the day off

are u just saying wtf right now?

Final text last night coming at 1:02 a.m. amd reads…

I’m not trying to be a jerk…I was just thinkin it might be a good time.

So this morning I’m waiting for the shuttle after the train, and this whole thing is just making me sure curious. So I text back at 8:46 this morning.

I fell asleep but was like wtf. How do I know you? I switched phones and this number has not contact info.

Reply at 9:44 a.m.

We used to work together…

Me:

@ PWC

Him:

yup

Me:

Holy shit! What are you up to? How was last night? Lol

Him:

I was up to a fuckin good time. Tweaked like a muthafucka. Had a 3 way with my neighbors. She came while I was eating her pussy. We fucked for 4 hours. Still tweakin…would love to stir up some trouble with u. Git you laid while yer tweakin porno sex.

Me (instinctively, yet mistakenly):

Pics or it didn’t happen. ;)

Him:

I don’t have any – also shes not gonna be in play for a while. you know any chicks who might be into it? If not, we pick out a couple callgirls, my treat. I know you would get off on the mth and fucking combo, ay?

Next, I get an extremely graphic x rated picture, that literally almost made me throw up with the following message at 10:09 a.m.

perfect recepticle for your nut Roger? One of my Hewitt buddies could round up pussies in no time…he might help us out. You game?

Wtf is going on? I recognize the name from PriceWaterhouseCoopers (PWC), but I worked there like 8 years ago. I worked at Hewitt even before that. What in the hell would make someone contact someone that you haven't seen or talked to in almost a decade about tweaking on meth (I assume that’s what mth meant in his one text) and group sex? I think I know who it is but I'm not even sure.

Another text before I could even get this posted:

you think im trying to git down yer pants? Be honest. Are u cool with a call girl? You pick her out online, I pay. That way we don’t have to waste time chasing pussy. A few months ago I got a 19 yo Italian chick. She bounced and kept squeezing.

Anyone else have a former co-worker get back into touch with them in a similar manner or is this just the most fucked up thing ever?

There needs to be an app where you can not only delete someone else's contact info from your phone, but delete your contact info from theirs as well.

[smudge1]

So, are you gonna do it?

[OlivePoet]

:lol That was amazing, and totally worth the read.

[TapNorris]

This is why I moved out of Chicago.

[rconverse]

So, are you gonna do it?

Uhm, no.

:lol That was amazing, and totally worth the read.

Right? Wtf??

This is why I moved out of Chicago.

:lol

[UNC41]

This is why I moved out of Chicago.

This is why I'm going to Chicago in a few hours.

[rconverse]

This is why I'm going to Chicago in a few hours.

I'd be more than willing to provide you this dude's number. :lol

[OlivePoet]

I'd be more than willing to provide you this dude's number. :lol

Me first, please.

[Dehalo212]

Step 1: Drop Purse
Step 2: Be a Man
Step 3: Get the party started!
Step 4: Report back

[kgs305]

:lol:lol

[OlivePoet]

Here come the party people!

[mr.MikeD]

chance of a lifetime, go for it.

[rconverse]

Also, what is with the "my treat" on the call girl? Isn't that weird?

"Hey, haven't seen you in while, let's get together over some call slam pieces and get re-acquainted!" :lol

[Dehalo212]

Also, can you get me a job at PWC?

[trautwein.m]

Tweakin pussy yo

[TapNorris]

Also, what is with the "my treat" on the call girl? Isn't that weird?

"Hey, haven't seen you in while, let's get together over some call slam pieces and get re-acquainted!" :lol

You should be flattered that he considered you since it's been so long!

[rconverse]

Also, can you get me a job at PWC?

No. I don't work there anymore and haven't for years. I left in November of 2002. :freak

[rconverse]

You should be flattered that he considered you since it's been so long!

That had to have been him already tweakin and just going through his phone. Hell, I didn't even know I had a cell phone way back then.

[OlivePoet]

Also, Roger, you passing up yet another chance for pussy just proves how much you love penis. Gov'nar.

[MPizzle06]

Go for it

[kgs305]

Get sum.

[Dehalo212]

No. I don't work there anymore and haven't for years. I left in November of 2002. :freak

Can you re-friend this guy? That might work. Thanks!

All jokes aside..party with this guy.

[thebridge15]

if not, pm, if not. get sum.

[Conzi517]

Hi, I'm here for the gang bang.

[ruggr4]

Oh my god.

[MPizzle06]

get tweakin on that pussy already

[hoggdogg]

the most an old co workers ever offered me is a positive professional reference... you must have made quite an impression on this fella for him to ring you for some dope & an orgy!

You're awesome!

[enigma1434]

I think I'm speechless.

Does this guy still work at PwC Chicago? We use consultants out of that office. They might know him. :lol

[bigeyefish22]

Im shocked mdrums didnt start this thread.

[rconverse]

I think I'm speechless.

Does this guy still work at PwC Chicago? We use consultants out of that office. They might know him. :lol

I actually don't know. I suppose I could ask. :lol

Edit: I just texted you his real name. Be on the lookout.

Im shocked mdrums didnt start this thread.

This story is true unlike his.

[thebridge15]

It involves us pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses, and doing a little plowing of our own.




Not gay sex.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Totally worth the read. haahhahahahahahaah

[Nick@Night]

Chris Brush would be interested.

[AlpineValley804]

:lol :lol :lol :lol

Guaranteed to be the funniest shit I'll read all week.

You got to submit this to Texts From Last Night.

[ruggr4]

:lol :lol :lol :lol

Guaranteed to be the funniest shit I'll read all week.

You got to submit this to Texts From Last Night.

:thumbsup This.

[rconverse]

I'm not going to lie. Last night, when I wasn't sure who the guy was at all or what was going on, I locked every single lock in my apartment. :lol

[Styx Cover Band]

It involves us pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses, and doing a little plowing of our own.




Not gay sex.


:lol:lol Well played

[thebridge15]

I'm not going to lie. Last night, when I wasn't sure who the guy was at all or what was going on, I locked every single lock in my apartment. :lolWhy you haven't changed your locks and purchased a new security system is beyond me.

[Beefsteak1138]

Get Tweaked
Fuck Bitches
???
Profit

[dmbgodagirl41]

:lol :lol :lol :lol

Guaranteed to be the funniest shit I'll read all week.

You got to submit this to Texts From Last Night.

Win.

[enigma1434]

Get Tweaked
Fuck Bitches
???
Profit

:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol

[rconverse]

Why you haven't changed your locks and purchased a new security system is beyond me.

srsly.

Get Tweaked
Fuck Bitches
???
Profit

:lol

[smudge1]

The guy will probably show up at your place tonight, with some chicks and meth.

[rconverse]

I can't imagine he knows where I live. If so, fuck me.

[thebridge15]

That really is some freaky shit.

[kgs305]

I can't imagine he knows where I live. If so, fuck me.
Lol, u gay?

[Taylor/Martin]

:lol:lol:lol:lol

Leave it to Ants to have the strangest stories

[breckbrew]

Well, if you're ever found face down/pants down in a trench missing a kidney, I think we know who we're looking for.

[rconverse]

Okay, some more texts have been exchanged. Clearly, I’m thinking this is a crazy trap. How many times do random people offer to hook you up with free drugs and slam pieces? The ONLY thing I could think of is for some reason this guy and my ex somehow crossed paths and are for some reason fucking with me. Even this would be beyond weird as my ex and I broke up like 4 years ago and again, I haven’t worked at PWC since 2002 and Hewitt was before that. Obviously, based on the fact he knows my work history, he knows me. I also recognize this guy’s name, it’s just I can’t remember if he was one of two people. Therefore, I’m pretty sure this guy is a real person. Why he chose out of nowhere to text me is still super perplexing. Anyway, I try and get some more info. Again, no texts have been altered, hence the misspellings and what have you…

My text

Do you still keep in touch with (ex’s first name – starts with an M).

Reply

Or her sister Mary Jane? Yes as needed…

My text

No, (Ex’s first and last name)

Reply

wow. Ok. No, I don’t remember that person. Hewitt or pwc??? I’m drawing a blank…

My text

Now that I think about it she was after PWC. U probably don’t know her.

Reply

someone u are interested in partyin with? What do youthink about the othr plan? One girl for each of us. I don’t have anyone specific in mind…do u? last time I did this was with a friend from hewitt…we did his gf and her friend. It was ok but when im tweaking and its group sex it needs to be smoking hot, akin to a porno. What do you think?

Next text is from him as well, but I never replied.

right on. My neighbors gf is shaved…that was a new one to me actually…it was amazing for both the pussy eating and fucking. And the tweaking takes it to another level.

Again, another TM from him without me replying..

What type of girls do you like?

Right on? Right on, what? Wtf is going on here? :lol

[bigmonkeyfish]

drugs not good fo yo brain

[rconverse]

drugs not good fo yo brain

But boobs are! See the conundrum??

[ruggr4]

:freak Wow.

[rconverse]

:freak Wow.

Yeah. Pretty weird night of texts to say the least. :lol

[bigmonkeyfish]

But boobs are! See the conundrum??


:lol:lol:lol...just hire katie

[ruggr4]

Yeah. Pretty weird night of texts to say the least. :lol

Um....understatement of the decade? :lol

[haybale97]

whose still got tagging privledges left? this belong under "epic"

and seriously, what's the worst that can happen if u hang out with this guy for one night? free drugs (which u can turn down) and free slam peices (wrap it up, whats the worst that can happen?)

[Ashley J]

This is fun. I needed this. :thumbsup

[Ashley J]

Moral of the story: Always answer unidentified texts. The possibilities are endless!

[Jake]

were those text written in Australian? I didn't understand a bit of it

[Revolution36]

nice.

this is getting good. you should reply so he keeps going.

[breckbrew]

Tell him you're into asian midgets.

[dontdrink36]

this is hilarious!!! Best thread of 2010 so far?

[Taylor/Martin]

nice.

this is getting good. you should reply so he keeps going.

This

[Speilmen230]

LMAO! the tags on this are priceless!!!

[enigma1434]

:lol at tags.

[efraser77]

Get Tweaked
Fuck Bitches
???
Profit
Makes sense to me.

[rconverse]

nice.

this is getting good. you should reply so he keeps going.

This

Oh, I am. Don't worry. This is incredible. Craziest thing to happen to me in the longest time, probably ever. :lol

[Taylor/Martin]

Oh, I am. Don't worry. This is incredible. Craziest thing to happen to me in the longest time, probably ever. :lol

:lol:lol:lol

:thumbsup

That's the spirit

[MPizzle06]

:lol at the tags, especially "dude where's my kidney?" & "work has an e in it"

[OlivePoet]

whose still got tagging privledges left? this belong under "epic"

and seriously, what's the worst that can happen if u hang out with this guy for one night? free drugs (which u can turn down) and free slam peices (wrap it up, whats the worst that can happen?)

Uhm, it won't work? :lol

[OlivePoet]

:lol :lol Goddamnit! I had to go and lose my tagging privileges by being an asshole before.

[rconverse]

Oh. My. God.

I think I know who this is for certain. There were two people I thought it could have been. One I wouldn't mind catching up with again, as we used to hang out in the past. However, that guy was engaged at the time and didn't seem like the type to tweak and be involved with orgies and shit. The other guy I didn't know all that much, but, well, let's let the texts do the talking...

Where we left off:

What type of girls do you like?

My reply:

Hot ones with skinny waists, round asses, and great tits of course.

His text:

Brunette, blonde, tight Asians, etc? certain age groups?

My reply:

Blonde or brunette. 20 – 30, I guess.

His text:

Ok…all doable. Sometimes I like to go to 19-20-21 on the age…one of each would cover it when the stimulants are in play

My text:

What exactly is the stimulant? Also where did you sit at PWC? I just want to make sure this is who I think, sorry.

His reply:

speed primarily, cola usually is available. X also…at the Dearborn office I sat against the eastern wall.

My text:

What about the LaSalle office? I wasn’t at Dearborn very long.

His reply:

In the offices by, or right next to malinda

My text:

Weren’t you the one who put me on supervision or whatever for leaving my laptop out?? Lol

Okay, at this point, I am astonished, and I mean ASTONISHED that this person would contact me for ANY reason.

His reply:

uhhh…probably. I don’t like being a manager. Nothing with that was personal. That place sucked anyway. After the stuff kicks in and we are tweaked and have our faces buried in pussy…we won’t give it another thought.

Another text from him:

I’m tweaking now…maybe why I haven’t thought about it.

My text:

You had me fired shortly after. That wasn’t personal? Haha. I mean it was a long time ago so whatever. So you’ve had my number all these years and just decided to text?

His reply:

I haven’t had your number at all…or known anything about what you were doing. It’s something I thought of last night, then looked it up. That’s pretty much it. I really do not have any issues or baggage, but i can understand the hostility.

First, I don’t even think I was being hostile. Second, of course you don’t have any issues or baggage. You didn’t get fired, jackass!

My text:

I’m not hostile. How did you look it up, I’m just curious. Obviously I’m a little surprised to be hearing from you out of the blue. That’s all.

His reply:

ok cool. Website that includes cell numbers. The people I hang with can be uptight…I remember thinking u seemed to like someone who knew how to play more intensely…which is where I am. Also I have a thing for group sex.

UH – MAZ – ING.

I’m still on the floor over this whole thing. Also, what web-site gives out cell numbers and how do I get mine off of it (assuming that his story is true).

Really? A former manager who had me fired now wants to hook me up with some drugs and hookers. Am I on Punk’d? This is TOO much. :lol

Edit: ok cool. Website that includes cell numbers. The people I hang with can be uptight…I remember thinking u seemed to like someone who knew how to play more intensely…which is where I am. Also I have a thing for group sex.

I guess I did make quite the impression. :lol

[Jake]

whose still got tagging privledges left? this belong under "epic"

and seriously, what's the worst that can happen if u hang out with this guy for one night? free drugs (which u can turn down) and free slam peices (wrap it up, whats the worst that can happen?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHgWc_lcZXU

[ruggr4]

This just keeps getting better and better!!!!

[thebridge15]

I think we understand what got you fired now...

[Tak_a_Tak]

Also, Roger, you passing up yet another chance for pussy just proves how much you love penis. Gov'nar.

No way, he's cool. He has a British accent, remember??

[rconverse]

No way, he's cool. He has a British accent, remember??

'ello Gov'nar!

[smudge1]

Tell him you're into asian midgets.
Hot! NSFW.
http://i063.radikal.ru/0912/cc/7281ebbcb5be.jpg

[enigma1434]

This does shed some light on your firing(s). :lol

[rconverse]

This does shed some light on your firing(s). :lol

I always suspected that dude had something for me and I am NOT kidding. :lol

[Tak_a_Tak]

'ello Gov'nar!

Look, whatever it is you end up doing (and believe me, I'm not one to judge), please DO NOT bring your new fuck buddy to the Creek this year.


mk?

[Jake]

I always suspected that dude had something for me and I am NOT kidding. :lol

like a lust to eat your kidney with a nice chanti and some fava beans?

[smudge1]

I always suspected that dude had something for me and I am NOT kidding. :lolHe probably wants you to eat his mangina.:lol

[OlivePoet]

Look, whatever it is you end up doing (and believe me, I'm not one to judge), please DO NOT bring your new fuck buddy to the Creek this year.


mk?

:lol :lol :lol

[rconverse]

Look, whatever it is you end up doing (and believe me, I'm not one to judge), please DO NOT bring your new fuck buddy to the Creek this year.


mk?

Oh, I can't wait til this story gets back to those guys. :lol

like a lust to eat your kidney with a nice chanti and some fava beans?

No, I don't think so. I think he wants the cock. :shrug

He probably wants you to eat his mangina.:lol

Clearly this dude is crazy. What's weird is that eight years ago, you'd have thought my life was in shambles and this dude had his shit together (as he was firing me). Now, I'm not saying he doesn't, maybe he does. But, who doesn't work on a random Thursday and offers practically strangers free drugs and slam pieces? It's just SO bizarre.

After replying to what type of girls I like he said he'd browse some agencies and send me pictures. This is going too far. :lol

[efraser77]

Tagged epic.

http://antsmarching.org/forum/tags.php?tag=epic+threads

[enigma1434]

I always suspected that dude had something for me and I am NOT kidding. :lol

Maybe if you would have just bent over and taken it, you'd still have a job.

[breckbrew]

Oh, I can't wait til this story gets back to those guys. :lol



No, I don't think so. I think he wants the cock. :shrug



Clearly this dude is crazy. What's weird is that eight years ago, you'd have thought my life was in shambles and this dude had his shit together (as he was firing me). Now, I'm not saying he doesn't, maybe he does. But, who doesn't work on a random Thursday and offers practically strangers free drugs and slam pieces? It's just SO bizarre.

After replying to what type of girls I like he said he'd browse some agencies and send me pictures. This is going too far. :lol


Cops at your door in 10...9....8.....7....6


Edit: Is this what those PWC guys are blowing their bonuses on?

[rconverse]

:lol @ british ingaysion

[rconverse]

Cops at your door in 10...9....8.....7....6

I hope not. I'm at work. That would look bad, me thinks.

[OlivePoet]

:lol @ british ingaysion

:lol I was just gonna post that.


So, are you at all afraid of any negative consequences associated with answering this person? I mean, if it's a set-up of sorts, I wonder if your responses could bite you in the ass somehow.

[rconverse]

Maybe if you would have just bent over and taken it, you'd still have a job.

There is probably a lot of truth in that statement.

[MsEmilyNYC]

This thread is amazing. :lol

[rconverse]

:lol I was just gonna post that.


So, are you at all afraid of any negative consequences associated with answering this person? I mean, if it's a set-up of sorts, I wonder if your responses could bite you in the ass somehow.

I'm not afraid of any negative consequences in terms of me replying to his texts. I haven't said or implied that I wanted to or was going to do anything illegal. If I were considering following through on any of this, I'd be scared of a ton of things, including but not limited to the fact that drugs are illegal and so is paying for sex.

Seriously, who texts someone out of absolutely nowhere and is like "Hey let's get down on some illegal activities and shit"?

[thebridge15]

I wanted to tag "federal pound me in the ass prison" cause Office Space is on.

[breckbrew]

If I ever received texts from W intersox, I imagine they would be something close to this, but instead of call girls, probably Dylans and Orbs.

[saygdbye4134]

Roger, I see no reason whatsoever for not meeting up with this dude. No reason. whatsoever.


A) You can bang a booker.
B) You get some free blow.
C) You run the chance of living the dream and banging a hooker all jacked up on coke.
D) You snort the nose candy, bang the hooker, and break the nose of the dude who fired you.

This is all sorts of win, Roger.

[MsEmilyNYC]

You could so get him fired with these texts. Payback sucks for THAT guy! :lol

[40always]

So your buddy ate out a call girl? Nasty on so many levels!! Can't wait to see the oral herp at its best. :lorraine

[enigma1434]

If I ever received texts from W intersox, I imagine they would be something close to this, but instead of call girls, probably Dylans and Orbs.

:lol

[enigma1434]

You could so get him fired with these texts. Payback sucks for THAT guy! :lol

Win, Emily. :thumbsup

[Tak_a_Tak]

So your buddy ate out a call girl? Nasty on so many levels!! Can't wait to see the oral herp at its best. :lorraine

The guys a meth-head. I'm sure that's the last thing he's worried about.

:freak


Roger on the other hand...........

[Alazais]

I must say, I've been on a bus from Toronto heading to Montreal since 9:30 and this thread along with a few other gems have made this gruelingly long busride so much more bearable. Thanks!

[rconverse]

Roger, I see no reason whatsoever for not meeting up with this dude. No reason. whatsoever.


A) You can bang a booker.
B) You get some free blow.
C) You run the chance of living the dream and banging a hooker all jacked up on coke.
D) You snort the nose candy, bang the hooker, and break the nose of the dude who fired you.

This is all sorts of win, Roger.

All good points. :thumbsup

[rconverse]

:lol I was just gonna post that.


So, are you at all afraid of any negative consequences associated with answering this person? I mean, if it's a set-up of sorts, I wonder if your responses could bite you in the ass somehow.

Next time I see you, you can check out the texts yourself. My iPhone has limitless memory for texts basically. :lol

[OlivePoet]

Next time I see you, you can check out the texts yourself. My iPhone has limitless memory for texts basically. :lol

I believe you! (Well, at least about the texts, not about you seeing me, Mr. "I Back Out of Everything".)

[Jake]

I must say, I've been on a bus from Toronto heading to Montreal since 9:30 and this thread along with a few other gems have made this gruelingly long busride so much more bearable. Thanks!

how many CM's have you traveled, or whatever zany system of counting you use up there?

[rconverse]

I must say, I've been on a bus from Toronto heading to Montreal since 9:30 and this thread along with a few other gems have made this gruelingly long busride so much more bearable. Thanks!

To be honest, it's made my day very entertaining as well. Although, actually testing and then rekeying everything on Ants has been difficult.

[Jake]

I believe you! (Well, at least about the texts, not about you seeing me, Mr. "I Back Out of Everything".)


including his ex-bosses pooper





zing!

[rconverse]

I believe you! (Well, at least about the texts, not about you seeing me, Mr. "I Back Out of Everything".)

Not completely true. :p

Which actually reminds me. Anyone coming to the halfway to Alpine gig can check out the actual texts as well. :)

[OlivePoet]

including his ex-bosses pooper





zing!

:lol :lol Nice.

[OlivePoet]

Not completely true. :p

Which actually reminds me. Anyone coming to the halfway to Alpine gig can check out the actual texts as well. :)

Oh! That reminds me. How much room do you have in that apartment of yours? :)

[Beefsteak1138]

Roger, I see no reason whatsoever for not meeting up with this dude. No reason. whatsoever.


A) You can bang a booker.
B) You get some free blow.
C) You run the chance of living the dream and banging a hooker all jacked up on coke.
D) You snort the nose candy, bang the hooker, and break the nose of the dude who fired you.

This is all sorts of win, Roger.

Roger could make a full-time job out of tracking down and breaking the noses of everyone that fired him.

[MsEmilyNYC]

Not completely true. :p

Which actually reminds me. Anyone coming to the halfway to Alpine gig can check out the actual texts as well. :)
Yes!! :ggoat :hump

[rconverse]

Oh! That reminds me. How much room do you have in that apartment of yours? :)

Plenty, I'm sure. :)

Roger could make a full-time job out of tracking down and breaking the noses of everyone that fired him.

:haha

Yes!! :ggoat :hump

You're coming? Nice. :thumbsup

[Alazais]

how many CM's have you traveled, or whatever zany system of counting you use up there?


icuwatudiddur!

That's a very good question though. I do know that it's roughly 400 miles from Toronto to Montreal. I had a two hour car ride from Bracebridge to Toronto (120Miles or so) and then I've got another 150 miles or so after I get to Montreal.

DO THE MATH

[smudge1]

So your buddy ate out a call girl? Nasty on so many levels!! Can't wait to see the oral herp at its best. :lorraineNo. I think it was his neighbors gf.:freak

[breckbrew]

including his ex-bosses pooper





zing!

Wow. :lol

[Tak_a_Tak]

Not completely true. :p

Which actually reminds me. Anyone coming to the halfway to Alpine gig can check out the actual texts as well. :)

Dude, when is that? You should totally text your friend about it, telling him you have some chicks lined up and invite him to the party.


:hump

[MsEmilyNYC]

Dude, when is that? You should totally text your friend about it, telling him you have some chicks lined up and invite him to the party.


:hump

Oh man. Just Katie, 'Rissa, and Heater alone would destroy him, let alone any of the other of us girls who are coming! :lol

[Alazais]

including his ex-bosses pooper





zing!


Not to quickly, I hope.

[ruggr4]

Oh man. Just Katie, 'Rissa, and Heater alone would destroy him, let alone any of the other of us girls who are coming! :lol

:lol:thumbsup Win!

[OlivePoet]

Oh man. Just Katie, 'Rissa, and Heater alone would destroy him, let alone any of the other of us girls who are coming! :lol

:lol Fantastic.

[saygdbye4134]

Roger could make a full-time job out of tracking down and breaking the noses of everyone that fired him.


extremely poor performer pwn.

[smudge1]

Oh man. Just Katie, 'Rissa, and Heater alone would destroy him, let alone any of the other of us girls who are coming! :lolNot when he starts tweakin'!!:lol

[OlivePoet]

ass rape vs free drugz
british ingaysion
call girls ftw
checkin' fo tite fit
chi town bi town?
dude where's my kidney
epic group sex on drugs
epic threads
katie is a whore
pwc employs junkies
riding on boyz w/drugz
rog & da x-boss sexting
roger the doger
roger tweaks
semi-charmed life
shaved + drugz = win
should i wrap it?
text mex
tripping group sex
work has an e in it
wrap it up ill take it
z=s in text & interwebz


For those not paying attention, these are the gems that are tagged so far. :lol

[Jake]

ass rape vs free drugz
british ingaysion
call girls ftw
checkin' fo tite fit
chi town bi town?
dude where's my kidney
epic group sex on drugs
epic threads
katie is a whore
pwc employs junkies
riding on boyz w/drugz
rog & da x-boss sexting
roger the doger
roger tweaks
semi-charmed life
shaved + drugz = win
should i wrap it?
text mex
tripping group sex
work has an e in it
wrap it up ill take it
z=s in text & interwebz


For those not paying attention, these are the gems that are tagged so far. :lol

you can pretty much just read the tags and know what's going on ;)

[OlivePoet]

you can pretty much just read the tags and know what's going on ;)

:lol Shut it. Some people delete tags in order to replace them, so I wanted the current list archived.

[rconverse]

Dude, when is that? You should totally text your friend about it, telling him you have some chicks lined up and invite him to the party.


:hump

This is not a bad idea. :lol

[Taylor/Martin]

This is the most epic thread in a long time :lol:lol

I forgot all about tags until this thread. Why can't I tag threads these days?

[Haiku Jimi]

I really shouldn't have this thread open at work. Will have to revisit. I can't leave it though....

[efraser77]

This is the most epic thread in a long time :lol:lol

I forgot all about tags until this thread. Why can't I tag threads these days?
Honestly, because people used them the way they're being used in this thread, instead of using them properly. So most people can't tag anymore.

Jake seems to have blessed (possibly initiated) the use of tags in this thread, however.

[Taylor/Martin]

Honestly, because people used them the way they're being used in this thread, instead of using them properly. So most people can't tag anymore.

Jake seems to have blessed (possibly initiated) the use of tags in this thread, however.

Ohh yeah. Thanks, I had forgotten about that. Tags didn't last for very long.

The use of tags here though is definitely :thumbsup

[OlivePoet]

Honestly, because people used them the way they're being used in this thread, instead of using them properly. So most people can't tag anymore.

Jake seems to have blessed (possibly initiated) the use of tags in this thread, however.

Some people were able to get their tag privileges back shortly after the mass ban.

[OlivePoet]

In case anyone wants to see their (or anyone else's) old tags, go here: http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/antsusertags.php

[efraser77]

Some people were able to get their tag privileges back shortly after the mass ban.
I got them but can only do two per thread. So someone with superpowers has been active here.

(Mine are "epic threads" and "poundmeintheassprison")


EDIT: I still think it's kinda sad that people didn't embrace tags here. They're really quite helpful. Any time I need to find the Angel From Montgomery thread I go right to "epic threads". I occasionally try to tag threads in DMBc but could never keep up. That's probably more work than being a mod...

[breckbrew]

This thread is definitely appropriate for JungleLoveC.

[Taylor/Martin]

Some people were able to get their tag privileges back shortly after the mass ban.

How does one go about doing this?

[efraser77]

How does one go about doing this?
Get down on your knees.


BTW, anyone can tag a thread they create, I believe, with up to 5 tags. But no one does.


EDIT: I fear, however, that we've derailed this epic thread. Back on topic, people.


Buttsecks

[OlivePoet]

How does one go about doing this?

No idea, since I didn't bother. I was a complete asshole with them. :lol

[Taylor/Martin]

Get down on your knees.


BTW, anyone can tag a thread they create, I believe, with up to 5 tags. But no one does.


EDIT: I fear, however, that we've derailed this epic thread. Back on topic, people.


Buttsecks

:lol

I think I speak for everyone when I say, We want more texts

[Ashley J]

Get down on your knees.


BTW, anyone can tag a thread they create, I believe, with up to 5 tags. But no one does.


EDIT: I fear, however, that we've derailed this epic thread. Back on topic, people.


Buttsecks

Whew. I'm glad someone has their mind in the right place!

[enigma1434]

In case anyone wants to see their (or anyone else's) old tags, go here: http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/antsusertags.php

username: enigma1434
thread title: Whats the longest you've gone without sex, and why?
tag text: roger is not getting laid

Lulz. Little did I know that Roger would get the opportunity of a lifetime later on.

[OlivePoet]

username: enigma1434
thread title: Whats the longest you've gone without sex, and why?
tag text: roger is not getting laid

Lulz. Little did I know that Roger would get the opportunity of a lifetime later on.

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol Brilliant. LOLed and even coughed a little .

[efraser77]

username: enigma1434
thread title: Whats the longest you've gone without sex, and why?
tag text: roger is not getting laid

Lulz. Little did I know that Roger would get the opportunity of a lifetime later on.
Not thread-related, Snuggie-related:

1) My dad got my sister a pink breast cancer one for Christmas. I have a great photo of her in it.

2) Little known fact: The Snuggie was invented a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. If you'll notice, Leia was wearing a camouflage one on Endor.

[rconverse]

username: enigma1434
thread title: Whats the longest you've gone without sex, and why?
tag text: roger is not getting laid

Lulz. Little did I know that Roger would get the opportunity of a lifetime later on.

:lol

Oh, man. This guy is certifiable. I've been trying to get work done, but wtf. Highlights...

His texts

couple bumps...

And I'm gonna start gettin really tweaked....4 big rails of meth....

My reply

Try not to die, dude.

He also actually forwarded a photo of alleged call girl. Not gonna lie, she was pretty hot. :lol

[OlivePoet]

:lol

Oh, man. This guy is certifiable. I've been trying to get work done, but wtf. Highlights...

His texts





My reply



He also actually forwarded a photo of alleged call girl. Not gonna lie, she was pretty hot. :lol

Yeah, but how big was her dick?

[NextMovement41]

Sounds like you missed a good time. Also, epic tags.

[rconverse]

Yeah, but how big was her dick?

There wasn't one. :lorraine

[OlivePoet]

There wasn't one. :lorraine

Aww, I'm sorry. :(

[smudge1]

You gonna be bangin' call girls with this guy?
http://www.vigilforlostpromise.com/images/meth-abuse.jpg

[doesmusicbest]

Jack's real name wouldn't be Scott, would it?

[rconverse]

I need to order stuff....Besides crystal do u want anything? he may or may not have. U like coke, yes?

wtf? I never said I was going to go along with this scheme, methhead. :lol

[enigma1434]

wtf? I never said I was going to go along with this scheme, methhead. :lol

This is the part where you should not make any sort of statement that indicates you want or like drugs.

Edit: But say something so that he keeps texting you. :lol

[rconverse]

This is the part where you should not make any sort of statement that indicates you want or like drugs.

Edit: But say something so that he keeps texting you. :lol

My reply:

I wouldn't do this tonite, it'd be another time.

:lol

[breckbrew]

Good luck backing out of this one!

[haybale97]

My reply:



:lol
first off, fantastic backread, i posted on pg 2 about 3 hours ago and this thing blew up. :thumbsup to you op

second, do not, in any way, stop this man from texting you.

third: i want my tagging privledges back

[rconverse]

Good luck backing out of this one!

As long as he doesn't know where I live, I should be okay. :)

[rconverse]

first off, fantastic backread, i posted on pg 2 about 3 hours ago and this thing blew up. :thumbsup to you op

second, do not, in any way, stop this man from texting you.

third: i want my tagging privledges back

I'm trying not to, but it's tough. I couldn't sit the fence forever. I had to tell him there was no way I was going to do it tonight. I haven't heard back from him yet.

Oh, man. The in between stuff that he has sent is so ridiculous. Allegedly, he has two regular slam pieces, one being married. :lol

[thebridge15]

:lol sexting

[manderso]

He also actually forwarded a photo of alleged call girl. Not gonna lie, she was pretty hot. :lol

Post it here

[wnderwoman]

I predict Roger is going to need to be bailed out of jail.

[Sniper15]

Post it here

He definitely needs to do this :thumbsup

[buzz05232000]

That kid needs to write a book

[Taylor/Martin]

I predict Roger is going to need to be bailed out of jail.

Yep, and there will be a thread on here asking for donations.

[DMBfreak41]

:lol wow great read. Hopefully you won't get a text saying he has found out where you live and wants to stop by.

[wnderwoman]

Yep, and there will be a thread on here asking for donations.

I'd actually be willing to donate to the bail money if he takes this thing to fruition.

Roger won't do it though. :lol Pussy.

[efraser77]

I'd actually be willing to donate to the bail money if he takes this thing to fruition.

Roger won't do it though. :lol Pussy.
But will you contribute to the doctor's bill and prescriptions once the burning sensation sets in?

[Tak_a_Tak]

As long as he doesn't know where I live, I should be okay. :)

Do you live on Newbury Dr. or Rees St.??


:lol

[luke7]

Strange story. Don't do it.

[doesmusicbest]

Hilarious story. Do it.

Fixed.

[DavefaninNZ]

I predict Roger is going to need to be bailed out of jail.

I agree, this has trap written all over it.

That said, I would be willing to donate money for his bail.

[rconverse]

Do you live on Newbury Dr. or Rees St.??


:lol

Nope. Used to though. :D

[haybale97]

But will you contribute to the doctor's bill and prescriptions once the burning sensation sets in?
i would donate money to this... but not bail :cool

[rconverse]

Post it here

He definitely needs to do this :thumbsup

Here you go....

NSFW

[rconverse]

I'd actually be willing to donate to the bail money if he takes this thing to fruition.

Roger won't do it though. :lol Pussy.

True. :lol

[manderso]

OP are you sure that you aren't talking to Chris Hansen?

[rconverse]

OP are you sure that you aren't talking to Chris Hansen?

Not entirely. Whoever it is knows small details about a place I used to work at that no one would know that didn't work there, that's for sure. I have no idea what type of shit is going on. I really don't. If it is someone fucking with me, then they have been planning it for over 8 years.

Anyway, the last text I receieved (after telling him I couldn't participate tonite for sure) was this:

I went ahead and called for Evelina to visit tonight. I am too horny to not git wet pussy. Will let you know how it goes. If shes great she can come back and take yr cok

My reply:

Was that the girl in the pic u sent? Since you are having her over take a pic of u two so I know you're serious and that it's really you. It can be a normal picture.

Since then, no more texts. Tht was around 5:30 today. :lol

[gonz085]

Since then, no more texts. Tht was around 5:30 today. :lol

you're boy must be tweaking and plowing away then. good god this guy is a machine...

[phlaming lips]

This sounds like a great plot for a movie. Sinister, dark comedy or just dark thriller.

I just fwd'd this to David Lynch, he's interested in getting together (oh, and he's interested in making this a movie too.....):goat

[manderso]

Roger, you're in the unique position to tweak and bury yer face in a hot 19 year old italian who bounces and keeps squeezin'. Jack is offering to supply bitchez and mth/coke(whatever gets yer dick hard). You would be a fool not to accept his kind offer and post n00dz all over this thread of the wet pussy that you git. Now get out there and live a little!!

[Taylor/Martin]

^^^^

Yeah, this is obviously the correct thing to do :cool

[manderso]

Holy shit I figured it out!!!! OP is Tyler Durden!!

[ruggr4]

Holy shit I figured it out!!!! OP is Tyler Durden!!

:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol

[rconverse]

Roger, you're in the unique position to tweak and bury yer face in a hot 19 year old italian who bounces and keeps squeezin'. Jack is offering to supply bitchez and mth/coke(whatever gets yer dick hard). You would be a fool not to accept his kind offer and post n00dz all over this thread of the wet pussy that you git. Now get out there and live a little!!

inorite?

Except, this doesn't happen. Damn near strangers don't just invite you out for 19 year old slam pieces and hard drugs, do they?

Honestly, does anyone have a similar story?

Holy shit I figured it out!!!! OP is Tyler Durden!!

Tyler would be banging all the bitches and tweaked to hell by now. I'm more like the Ed Norton's character. :lol

[manderso]

inorite?

Except, this doesn't happen. Damn near strangers don't just invite you out for 19 year old slam pieces and hard drugs, do they?

Honestly, does anyone have a similar story?



Tyler would be banging all the bitches and tweaked to hell by now. I'm more like the Ed Norton's character. :lol


You're both dude! You just don't remember being Jack the tweaker. It'll come.

[haybale97]

Not entirely. Whoever it is knows small details about a place I used to work at that no one would know that didn't work there, that's for sure. I have no idea what type of shit is going on. I really don't. If it is someone fucking with me, then they have been planning it for over 8 years.

Anyway, the last text I receieved (after telling him I couldn't participate tonite for sure) was this:



My reply:



Since then, no more texts. Tht was around 5:30 today. :lol
pft, make him send action shots. see if this guy has the balls

[rconverse]

You're both dude! You just don't remember being Jack the tweaker. It'll come.

That would be epic! :lol

[rconverse]

pft, make him send action shots. see if this guy has the balls

As long as I can tell who it is clearly and identify who this is I'll be satisfied. I don't care about action shots. :lol

[ruggr4]

inorite?

Except, this doesn't happen. Damn near strangers don't just invite you out for 19 year old slam pieces and hard drugs, do they?

Honestly, does anyone have a similar story?



Gonna venture out here and say....NO! No one has a similar story. :lol

[AJF_41]

I can't believe I just read this.

So, are you out tweaking now????

[MsEmilyNYC]

I can't believe I just read this.

So, are you out tweaking now????
Where have you been all day? :lol

[AJF_41]

Where have you been all day? :lol

I know!

[rconverse]

I can't believe I just read this.

So, are you out tweaking now????

Nopers. I managed to stay in. :lol

[manderso]

Nopers. I managed to stay in. :lol

No more contact from him or what?

[Sniper15]

Here you go....

NSFW

That pic doesn't look legit. I think someone is fucking with you bro

[rconverse]

Gonna venture out here and say....NO! No one has a similar story. :lol

So why the fuck is this happening to me? :confused

[AJF_41]

Nopers. I managed to stay in. :lol

This situation seems right up your alley....
:cool

[rconverse]

No more contact from him or what?

Contact just picked up. Supposedly that girl came and left. My boy's gonna do some more lines when he's out of the shower.

That pic doesn't look legit. I think someone is fucking with you bro

I don't know what you mean by not legit. It looked like a real picture. Whether that's an actual call girl, etc....I have NO idea.


You could be 100% correct. I'll reiterate that I have NO idea what is going on in reality. If it is really the person who they claim to be, I can't even tell you how bizarre the story actually is.

If it is not that person and some other random person, friend, or whatever, (as I stated earlier), this is an 8 year prank in the making. This person cited having an office next to someone whom I would have never have talked about outside of work 8 years ago, let alone now. Simply amazing.

[TapNorris]

Here you go....

NSFW

Tranny!

[rconverse]

Tranny!

Then I am glad I was not involved. :lol

[rconverse]

This situation seems right up your alley....
:cool

Clearly, you do not know me very well. :lol

[AJF_41]

Clearly, you do not know me very well. :lol

I was kidding.

blllolooloolooo

[manderso]

This thread is very interesting. I keep waiting for the updates. Roger what's happening???

[rconverse]

This thread is very interesting. I keep waiting for the updates. Roger what's happening???

Sorry. Kind of a lot. It's hard to keep up with this and the CFB game plus actually texting with this person.

I will say that this dude didn't provide a picture, but did describe himself to a T as to what I remembered while adding well endowed. :lol

[wnderwoman]

Sorry. Kind of a lot. It's hard to keep up with this and the CFB game plus actually texting with this person.

I will say that this dude didn't provide a picture, but did describe himself to a T as to what I remembered while adding well endowed. :lol


I'll tell you how it ends. Texas gets their asses handed to them.

Now post updates.

[manderso]

Sorry. Kind of a lot. It's hard to keep up with this and the CFB game plus actually texting with this person.

I will say that this dude didn't provide a picture, but did describe himself to a T as to what I remembered while adding well endowed. :lol

So he was like "Ya I sat in the corner beside Jessica. I have short brown hair. I'm like 5'10 180. I used to wear looney toons ties. And my dick is like 9 inches."?

[rconverse]

So he was like "Ya I sat in the corner beside Jessica. I have short brown hair. I'm like 5'10 180. I used to wear looney toons ties. And my dick is like 9 inches."?

Sort of.

[haybale97]

Sorry. Kind of a lot. It's hard to keep up with this and the CFB game plus actually texting with this person.

I will say that this dude didn't provide a picture, but did describe himself to a T as to what I remembered while adding well endowed. :lol
okay the game is over lets go man.

[manderso]

Heres how it should go down. You tell us what he says, then we vote on your reply. Lets make this interesting.

[rconverse]

okay the game is over lets go man.

Heres how it should go down. You tell us what he says, then we vote on your reply. Lets make this interesting.

Most recent texts:

Mine (after random other stuff)

My text:

U should line up one or two!!! Fuck, I'm jealous!!

His text:

if you want, come up here and do some. we could talk in person rather than txt. And we can start looking on line for the escortdlm mot gonna be

^Yeah, I know (bolded). :lol

[manderso]

What the fuck did he say??

"And we can start looking on line for the escortdlm mot gonna be" ??

[wnderwoman]

if you want, come up here and do some. we could talk in person rather than txt.

That is a trap, Chris Hansen style.

[haybale97]

Most recent texts:

Mine (after random other stuff)

My text:



His text:



^Yeah, I know (bolded). :lol
sounds like he's hitting on u

[rconverse]

What the fuck did he say??

"And we can start looking on line for the escortdlm not gonna be" ??

I'm sorry. Corrections bolded. Seriously.

[rconverse]

if you want, come up here and do some. we could talk in person rather than txt.

That is a trap, Chris Hansen style.

Totally! :thumbsup :lol

[manderso]

Get more info. More pics. More tweak talk.

[ruggr4]

So why the fuck is this happening to me? :confused

I don't know hon, but it's kinda scary in my opinion. :shrug
I'll tell you how it ends. Texas gets their asses handed to them.



:thumbsup This.

[smudge1]

I'm tweakin'.

[TapNorris]

"But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers.............then we're shit out of luck!"

[jk333]

He either wants to fuck or rob you.

No way its anything besides that.

Outside shot that he's just freaking crazy; i'd go 50% fuck you, 45% rob you, 5% crazy.

[NextMovement41]

Go over to his crib Roger. Only epic stories await.

[manderso]

I honestly don't think that it's a legal trap or Chris Hansen thing. You won't get yourself into any trouble by just fucking around with this guy and drawing out this crazy tweakers conversation. Either way, you have a pretty good alibi. Just look at this whole thread. It's obvious that it's all just a joke to you and that you're not taking it seriously. So with that said, what is this tweaker doing now?

[jk333]

Hopefully he can't get your address at the same site he got your phone... its harder to get addresses but...

this site isn't good for you:
http://names.whitepages.com/

[manderso]

Is this guy loaded? How much do escorts cost?

[smudge1]

Is this guy loaded? How much do escorts cost?Not much. Apparently all you need to do is text them, offer sex and drugs.:lol

[gonz085]

at the end of your life if you don't have at least a few fucked up stories like this, you haven't lived.

do it. and become the legend.

[rconverse]

So with that said, what is this tweaker doing now?

Last text:

Thse two bumps feel ggoood

[haybale97]

Last text:
their lovely lady humps?

[mcwyffe]

lol at tags

[gonz085]

the good thing about you roger, is that I know this is not all bullshit. thank you for making my day.

[Jimi Thing 10]

holy hell... work has an e in it

[antsman41]

Wow, is all I have to say...

I didn't know people use "Cola" as a slang term for Coke, make sense but to easy like "Snow" or "Blow."

[manderso]

This thread is useless without meth.

[rconverse]

the good thing about you roger, is that I know this is not all bullshit. thank you for making my day.

Sure thing. I'm supposed to see Heater tonight, so I'll be able to show someone else the texts. :thumbsup

holy hell... work has an e in it

Who knew??? :lol

[Jake]

....



Who knew??? :lol

don't you mean 'whe knew'?, or does the O become an E only in texts?

[rconverse]

don't you mean 'whe knew'?, or does the O become an E only in texts?

Texts and FB updates, duh.

[breckbrew]

Sure thing. I'm supposed to see Heater tonight, so I'll be able to show someone else the texts. :thumbsup



Who knew??? :lol

Call this guy up for a 3sum.

[dmbigeyedphish]

I definitely dont regret taking the time to read that

[OlivePoet]

Sure thing. I'm supposed to see Heater tonight, so I'll be able to show someone else the texts. :thumbsup



:thumbsup

[OlivePoet]

Call this guy up for a 3sum.

:thumbsup

[dmbigeyedphish]

lol i still dont think im allowed to tag threads

COME ON MODS ITS BEEN A WHILE

[rconverse]

Jesus. So, I hadn't heard from this guy in a while and I thought maybe he OD'd. No such luck.

His text:

Sup Roger? Im looking at different escorts. How do u want to work getting the perfect pussy for yer tweak session?

I'm not even sure how to respond without flat out saying I'm not interested. :lol

[saygdbye4134]

i would respond with, you do all the leg work and i reap the benefits. FYL bitch.

[TapNorris]

Jesus. So, I hadn't heard from this guy in a while and I thought maybe he OD'd. No such luck.

His text:



I'm not even sure how to respond without flat out saying I'm not interested. :lol

I think you should tell him you're not interested but would like him to continue updating you on the stupid shit he does with his money....and send some pics every now and then.

[rconverse]

I think you should tell him you're not interested but would like him to continue updating you on the stupid shit he does with his money....and send some pics every now and then.

Well, I'm not going to lie. A LARGE part of me wants to see this person to visually confirm it's who I am thinking about. If it is actually him, I would like to ask what in the hell happened to his life. Funny, when I got fired from that job, I HATED this guy. Now I just feel sorry for him. I guess the best revenge really is living well. :shrug

[smudge1]

Well, I'm not going to lie. A LARGE part of me wants to see this person to visually confirm it's who I am thinking about. If it is actually him, I would like to ask what in the hell happened to his life. Funny, when I got fired from that job, I HATED this guy. Now I just feel sorry for him. I guess the best revenge really is living well. :shrugseems to me, he's having a good time.:lol

[TapNorris]

Well, I'm not going to lie. A LARGE part of me wants to see this person to visually confirm it's who I am thinking about. If it is actually him, I would like to ask what in the hell happened to his life. Funny, when I got fired from that job, I HATED this guy. Now I just feel sorry for him. I guess the best revenge really is living well. :shrug

You could suggest picking up pussy while enjoying a burger and a beer, instead of meth. :lol

[manderso]

Well, I'm not going to lie. A LARGE part of me wants to see this person to visually confirm it's who I am thinking about. If it is actually him, I would like to ask what in the hell happened to his life. Funny, when I got fired from that job, I HATED this guy. Now I just feel sorry for him. I guess the best revenge really is living well. :shrug

I don't know man. While you're sitting here posting on the internet, he's out there tweakin' and poundin' pussy! Who won that battle?? Now go party with this guy!!! WOOOOO!!!

[haybale97]

Jesus. So, I hadn't heard from this guy in a while and I thought maybe he OD'd. No such luck.

His text:



I'm not even sure how to respond without flat out saying I'm not interested. :lol
just keep flaking off on the guy. make plans then drop them last minute fo whatever reason. win win for everybody really