Funniest shit i think Ive ever seen...

[Jimp210]

The thread about topping old threads got me to look at this again and laugh incredibly hard...

[Mickey Carson]

Topping this thread is always worth it.

[TempHelpNeeded]

this is when topping old threads is alright. :thumbsup

[SqueeBaBooSquee]

This thread is grade A hilarious.

[zmiller91]

hahahahahahahahahahaha, this thread and the "which doesnt belong" thread makes for a great 2 nights

[marco j]

bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn
to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your
olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.

:lol

[dmb41nancies34]

Wow I've never seen this thread before. Absolutly hilarious.

My personal favorite had to be the Rhino one.


"Rhino's don't play games, they fucking charge your ass."

[SqueeBaBooSquee]

Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat
me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: **** YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!


Normally when people post an LOL they usually don't actually laugh out loud.


I fucking did all the way through this.

LOL :lol

[SideshowRob]

i cant believe this... that was so fucking funny

[Carbon Copy]

classic

[AlpineValley804]

Giving this thread a much deserved bump. I envy anyone who hasn't read these before and is about to for the first time.

[groton]

Its classic But I've seen it on other sites.

[athousandyears]

This one of my all-time favorite threads. :thumbsup

[ant_marching41]

DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold.
Warm me up baby
J-dogg:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
J-dogg:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants
with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The
mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously
soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit
through the front door....



^ Genious. :thumbsup

[SoMuchToSay_07]

Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat
me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: **** YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!


funniest thing I have read in quite some time. I am crying right now.

I start to get fed up with your ugly ass, I tear off your wooden peg leg and ram it up your ass. Genius

[meicjos]

Never saw this one before, but it was absolutely hilarious

[meicjos]

I've never changed my little saying below my name since freshman year of college, and now I'm think that after reading this thread it might be a good idea

[Hudak-Budak]

This is absolutely hilarious. I was trying my damnedest not to laugh out loud at work.

[Bartndrpleez]

Always a good read once in a blue moon! :lol

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

:lol :lol :lol :lol

[TrippingBrando]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.


This stuff was great! :lol Got me sidetracked from studying for a good 10 minutes :thumbsup

[Colonel_Forbin]

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.

oh my god this is funny

[Beefsteak1138]

:lol

I love that this thread gets topped every few months.

[Beefsteak1138]

Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.

^
Has to be one of the funniest lines ever.

[TempHelpNeeded]

hahahahahahaha. i love this stuff.

[Pengin4192]

I love this every time I read it. Never gets old.

[SoMuchToSay_07]

this needs to be sticky.

Funniest thing I have ever read

[TrippingBrando]

Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my d*ck puppet. I put on a
little play.


This is a gem! "Your head is close to the ceiling fan." :confused
:lol

[symbian]

holy sh!T thats funny...

[AlpineValley804]

Probably my favorite thread on Ants. Truly never gets old.

[Sou1 So1di3r]

lolllllllllll

[rickyh24]

:lol man this is good shit

[DirtyDeeds449]

I love the robe and wizard hat.

[Pikegulley]

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.


Win :lol :lol

[TrippinBilliam]

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the
Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

Probably my favorite part. I have showed this to so many people. They all love it. I am working on some scripts I'm going to try out, this just looks like too much fun.

[pkpro1]

LOL I love this thread.

[symbian]

time for a bump

[dmb41nancies34]

:thumbsup

[AlpineValley804]

Rhinocerus don't wear shirts. They fucking charge your ass!

[guitarplayer554]

Made my day! haha best thread ever!

[rconverse]

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

[guitarplayer554]

I put on my robe and wizard hat...
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular
physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
:lol:lol:lol

[Bartndrpleez]

Classic. :lol

[AlpineValley804]

I think I need to actually go back and read these again for old time's sake.

[Hudak-Budak]

Read them again. Still funny.

[AlpineValley804]

Rhinocerus don't play games. They fucking charge your ass!

Fixed.

[dmb@uvm]

:lol I shit myself everytime I read this thread!

[AlpineValley804]

You got to do better than that! Your picture was really bad!

[gregory311]

This will never lose the funny.

I updated my facebook status to this the other day and got lots of questions about it whilst out on the town.

[JanelleM]

Y.e.s.

[Bmwm3oz]

Weird because I don't think any of that is funny for some reason...

But things like this...I can laugh for hours at....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyxJFXIzAEY


Mainly the end

[umphucked88]

Instant classic.

[AlpineValley804]

Weird because I don't think any of that is funny for some reason...

But things like this...I can laugh for hours at....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyxJFXIzAEY


Mainly the end

That was fucking retarded.

[Rodey]

Weird because I don't think any of that is funny for some reason...

But things like this...I can laugh for hours at....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyxJFXIzAEY


Mainly the end

How can you not think this thread is funny?

[umphucked88]

Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go **** yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.

my favorite exchange

[Peregrine]

I love it when this thread rears its ugly head . . . !

[Bartndrpleez]

Weird because I don't think any of that is funny for some reason...

But things like this...I can laugh for hours at....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyxJFXIzAEY


Mainly the end

Ahhhahahhhhaha! I've never seen that before. Being on youtube stoned is the best shit ever. :lol

[2stepsoright]

topping this classic

[JRod1229]

never a bad time to top this... what a great piece of journalism

[gregory311]

"I throw rocks at the cats" is just amazing.

[Hudak-Budak]

It's always nice to see this topped every few months.

[UCFish]

Your parrot flys away....

It never gets old.

[Gonzo#34]

i just laughed so damn hard

[rconverse]

Haaarrrrrrrrrrrrr

[mcwyffe]

HAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrr

[Socks]

I assume someone linked to www.bash.org in this thread at some point

the top 100 is great

[grace2]

Hahahaha

[watchtower86]

HARRRRRRR

I'm spent

[AlpineValley804]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Great ****. :thumbsup

[packersfan99]

Wow good work guys this is the fucking funniest thing ive ever seen!

[Beefsteak1138]

Definitely too long since this thread's been bumped.

[watchtower86]

Definitely too long since this thread's been bumped.
My friend reminded me of it when he said he was cleaning his inbox and reread it from when I'd sent it two years ago.

Thought I'd bring it back for everyone else, too.

[swinger5]

Harrrr!

[highlander4]

Pure Epicness:

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

[Beefsteak1138]

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachmentviewer.php?attachmentid=47324&d=1222870021

[buzz05232000]

J-Dogg: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Partner: mmmm, okay.
J-Dogg: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Partner: Yeah I like it rough.
J-Dogg: I smack you thick booty.
Partner: Oh yeah, that feels good j.
J-Dogg: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
J-Dogg: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all
in your crack. Mmmm.
Partner: you like that?
J-Dogg: I peel some bananas.
Partner: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
J-Dogg: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Partner: Peanuts?
J-Dogg: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Partner: What are you talking about?
J-Dogg: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw
rocks at the cats.
Partner: This is stupid.
J-Dogg: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
J-Dogg: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
J-Dogg: Yeeaahhhh.
Partner: /ignore
J-Dogg: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch anyway.
J-Dogg: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

[highlander4]

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/attachmentviewer.php?attachmentid=47324&d=1222870021

You = my hero.... Then end!

[ballinpaul33]

I've read those somewhere as well. They're hilarious!

[symbian]

**** for the greatness that is this

[marco j]

"Your parrot flys away" has got to be one of the funniest things I've read in a decade.:thumbsup

[collinsat12]

I miss Erich

[Erich]

i miss erich

bam!

888888

[CrashTheStone41]

the return of the wizard hat guy with the same person was hilarious

[AlpineValley804]

One of my favorite threads on Ants, no doubt.

[Foreverford05]

By far one of the best threads ever

[thestand]

bam!

888888

And in your return, you've apparantly killed Andy, who hasn't been here in a bit. But you quote him to inform him of your return, to throw us off your trail.

Quite the ruse, sir.

[buzz05232000]

Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh

[Erich]

And in your return, you've apparantly killed Andy, who hasn't been here in a bit. But you quote him to inform him of your return, to throw us off your trail.

Quite the ruse, sir.

craziest thing to me is that I posted this 7.5 years ago. I mean, that's fucking wild. most of my best friend's nieces and nephews weren't born yet, and they can now hold conversations with him.

[Beefsteak1138]

Just thinking about this thread.

[Ascf33]

Harrrrrrrr

[stoneje]

Oh man, when he calls her ass a battleship :lol

Amazing. Haven't seen this thread in a long time.

[Roose13]

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin
with tha homies and sh*t.
......
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck
women...
J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I
have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipsh*t.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

[bustedstuff88]

I put on my wizard hat......
:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:l ol:lol

[jtrdmb4140]

Please allow me to bump this thread...funniest read ever!

[PeteRose]

Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh

Overrated.

[atlantic]

The rhino one was the best... oh my god... haven't laughed that hard in a long time

[water into wine]

I got to this line "Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass." and the few following it and I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't erupt with laughter. Not safe to read at work :lol:lol:lol