Antsmarching.org Forums - Dave Matthews Band Discussion

Antsmarching.org Forums - Dave Matthews Band Discussion (https://www.antsmarching.org/forum/index.php)
-   nDMBc Discussion (https://www.antsmarching.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Dating is miserable (https://www.antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?t=246736)

neumdogg 04-17-2009 10:14 AM

Dating is miserable
 
Let me start this by saying that I have been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years and we are very happy together.

Last night, I went to a charity mixer. Basically, it was a bunch of people in their mid to upper 20s trying to raise money for a worthy cause. I went with my friend Seth and he's single so I agreed to be his wingman. This was not a good idea.

This was like walking into the lion's den. Every girl there was SO husband-crazy, it was insane. All they could talk about was finding the right guy to settle down with and start a family. Obviously this wasn't the night my buddy hoped for. Sure, he's down to date, but I'm pretty sure he didnt expect to find his future wife there.

When I was single and around 25 years old, I became a serial dater. I would go on at least 1 date a week. It was fun in the beginning but turned out to be one of the most annoying things in the world.

Is dating this hard everywhere else? Are people so desperate to find a mate by the age of 30? It was just a real eye-opening experience last night. Thank god I have a gf!

jenben41 04-17-2009 10:18 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
You mean these girls were talking about finding someone to settle down with at this mixer? They actually said that?

neumdogg 04-17-2009 10:20 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jenben41 (Post 9252618)
You mean these girls were talking about finding someone to settle down with at this mixer? They actually said that?

Sort of. I happened to know one of the girls and she was so stressed about finding a good guy. I swear she was about to start crying right there. What is up with these people?!

DMBBeav 04-17-2009 10:20 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
In LA girls are willing to wait until 30.

I think in most the country it is 25.

22 year old girls FTW.

jenben41 04-17-2009 10:24 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by neumdogg (Post 9252638)
Sort of. I happened to know one of the girls and she was so stressed about finding a good guy. I swear she was about to start crying right there. What is up with these people?!

That sucks. Working yourself up into a frenzy to "meet a guy" is a surefire way to make yourself the most unapproachable woman in the room.

scrock25 04-17-2009 10:43 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
I'm 28 now, when I was between the ages of 17-23 I worked at a super-market. Needless to say this super-market was one big meat factory. Every part time EE was around the same age range. The chicks were all boy/man crazy, all they wanted to do was find a "nice guy". I don't IM anymore, but still have my username and sign in from time to time just to see who's still on. There are multiple "girls" I knew back then that are now around the same age. Every single one of them still puts up man-hating away messages every single day because they still haven't found a "nice guy". It's unbelievable, and sad.

dmbgodagirl41 04-17-2009 11:18 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by neumdogg (Post 9252594)
Let me start this by saying that I have been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years and we are very happy together.

Last night, I went to a charity mixer. Basically, it was a bunch of people in their mid to upper 20s trying to raise money for a worthy cause. I went with my friend Seth and he's single so I agreed to be his wingman. This was not a good idea.

This was like walking into the lion's den. Every girl there was SO husband-crazy, it was insane. All they could talk about was finding the right guy to settle down with and start a family. Obviously this wasn't the night my buddy hoped for. Sure, he's down to date, but I'm pretty sure he didnt expect to find his future wife there.

When I was single and around 25 years old, I became a serial dater. I would go on at least 1 date a week. It was fun in the beginning but turned out to be one of the most annoying things in the world.

Is dating this hard everywhere else? Are people so desperate to find a mate by the age of 30? It was just a real eye-opening experience last night. Thank god I have a gf!

I hate dating. People are always at one end of the spectrum with that or the other. Either a guy is just looking for a fuck buddy for a couple months, or he starts asking you what you want to name your kids on the first date.

On the other side, it's really annoying that a lot of guys assume that every woman in the world who is in their late 20s wants to have a family right away. I've gone out with tons of cool guys and they are shocked to hear that I'm actually NOT baby/wedding crazy right now.

I seriously hate dating so damn much. It's a pain in the ass and I can't wait until I can find a guy that I really like and he really likes me and I can be done with the bullshit. Sucks about your friend and not having the mixer make expectations. That's the worst.:shrug

Number27 04-17-2009 11:23 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Sucks balls. Not a fan of being single at the moment. I enjoy the quality time with a girlfriend where I can just be a total goof and be relaxed.

GRECObearcat 04-17-2009 11:28 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
I'm all for dating. Possibly one of my favorite things to do.

Carbon Copy 04-17-2009 11:39 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
I quite enjoy it. i like the excitement

neumdogg 04-17-2009 11:48 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
It just gets old. When you do it for so long, it becomes boring. Same fucking bullshit questions, same fucking bullshit answers.

brianlisk 04-17-2009 11:58 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
I was friends with my wife for about a year before we dated. I was friends with her boyfriend too. It all worked out well, and I am still friends with him. Point I'm trying to make, though, is that being friends first worked well for me, and from what I understand, it worked well for others who were friends first.

Looking for that certain someone sucks though.

joepsu0985 04-17-2009 11:58 AM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by neumdogg (Post 9253142)
It just gets old. When you do it for so long, it becomes boring. Same fucking bullshit questions, same fucking bullshit answers.

Seriously. Its like taking bullshit pre-requisite classes. You learn nothing and there is no point.

GRECObearcat 04-17-2009 12:03 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by joepsu0985 (Post 9253193)
Seriously. Its like taking bullshit pre-requisite classes. You learn nothing and there is no point.

I don't know. I learn a lot every single date.

As a side note: One thing I pride myself upon is being a good date.

UNC41 04-17-2009 12:04 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?

neumdogg 04-17-2009 12:54 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UNC41 (Post 9253228)
Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?

It's really how LA is actually.

neumdogg 04-17-2009 12:56 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by joepsu0985 (Post 9253193)
Seriously. Its like taking bullshit pre-requisite classes. You learn nothing and there is no point.

To me, its a fucking job interview.

scrock25 04-17-2009 12:57 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
I never went through a real formal dating process. Had a few chicks I hooked up with in High School, a couple during the summer between my senior year in high school/freshman year of college...had a year long relationship during my freshman year, that dissolved, then starting going out with the woman I'm married to right now during second semester sophomore year. I'd like to think I would have done ok if I was single...but it didn't work out that way. Oh well.

DMBBeav 04-17-2009 12:57 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UNC41 (Post 9253228)
Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?

I was watching Swingers the other day. It holds up well, despite a few things that don't apply(everyone has cell phones, most people give the girl their cell phone and they enter it in, Mikey would never have to check messages to see if his ex-gf called, social networking sites would change the dynamic of Mikey and his ex-gf, etc...).

The best part of that rant is the bold.

DMBBeav 04-17-2009 12:59 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by neumdogg (Post 9253470)
It's really how LA is actually.

LA is the big leagues in dating.

If you hit .250 here, you are hitting .500 in the busch leagues (Kansas City, San Francisco, Philadelphia, etc..)

dmbwadeo 04-17-2009 01:05 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UNC41 (Post 9253228)
Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?

Yeah I'm listening..

Number27 04-17-2009 01:08 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by scrock25 (Post 9253489)
I never went through a real formal dating process. Had a few chicks I hooked up with in High School, a couple during the summer between my senior year in high school/freshman year of college...had a year long relationship during my freshman year, that dissolved, then starting going out with the woman I'm married to right now during second semester sophomore year. I'd like to think I would have done ok if I was single...but it didn't work out that way. Oh well.

That sounds pretty good. :thumbsup

UNC41 04-17-2009 01:14 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DMBBeav (Post 9253490)
I was watching Swingers the other day. It holds up well, despite a few things that don't apply(everyone has cell phones, most people give the girl their cell phone and they enter it in, Mikey would never have to check messages to see if his ex-gf called, social networking sites would change the dynamic of Mikey and his ex-gf, etc...).

The best part of that rant is the bold.

My favorite part is ...

And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know?

neumdogg 04-17-2009 02:16 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DMBBeav (Post 9253502)
LA is the big leagues in dating.

If you hit .250 here, you are hitting .500 in the busch leagues (Kansas City, San Francisco, Philadelphia, etc..)

It's so true. My batting average sucked when I was single.

Tiduwho 04-17-2009 02:27 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Man, I hate dating. There's just too many unwritten rules. I went out with this girl last night, because she was all stressed out and wanted someone to go for drinks with. Well, after she vented for a while she calmed down. This other guy, we'll call him annoying guy, asked if we wanted to play pool. That was fine, but then this guy wouldn't go away. And he basically started hitting on her.

I was a timid dumbass all night. And I could have saved the whole night, I realized as I was driving home, if I had just made a move when we were saying goodnight to each other. I'm the kind of guy that usually waits for "moments". But I didn't even stop to think I could just make one by saying "Ah screw it". Now I feel like I'm relegated to the Friend Zone with her (we previously almost dated back in December).

Ugh, I want to call her and somehow try to just make everything up. I really like this girl, this sucks. I don't even deserve a Man Card.

joepsu0985 04-17-2009 02:41 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiduwho (Post 9254066)
Man, I hate dating. There's just too many unwritten rules. I went out with this girl last night, because she was all stressed out and wanted someone to go for drinks with. Well, after she vented for a while she calmed down. This other guy, we'll call him annoying guy, asked if we wanted to play pool. That was fine, but then this guy wouldn't go away. And he basically started hitting on her.

I was a timid dumbass all night. And I could have saved the whole night, I realized as I was driving home, if I had just made a move when we were saying goodnight to each other. I'm the kind of guy that usually waits for "moments". But I didn't even stop to think I could just make one by saying "Ah screw it". Now I feel like I'm relegated to the Friend Zone with her (we previously almost dated back in December).

Ugh, I want to call her and somehow try to just make everything up. I really like this girl, this sucks. I don't even deserve a Man Card.

At least you didn't go to jail.

Tiduwho 04-17-2009 02:50 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by joepsu0985 (Post 9254137)
At least you didn't go to jail.

Truest words I've heard all day. :thumbsup

Spicy McHaggis 04-17-2009 02:55 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
The worst part about LA dating are the local girls who are very rich and most (not all) of the girls who moved here from out of town. The best part are the small minorities of local or out-of-town girls who have a real, sensible head on their shoulders. The problem is finding them.

neumdogg 04-17-2009 03:04 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiduwho (Post 9254066)
Man, I hate dating. There's just too many unwritten rules. I went out with this girl last night, because she was all stressed out and wanted someone to go for drinks with. Well, after she vented for a while she calmed down. This other guy, we'll call him annoying guy, asked if we wanted to play pool. That was fine, but then this guy wouldn't go away. And he basically started hitting on her.

I was a timid dumbass all night. And I could have saved the whole night, I realized as I was driving home, if I had just made a move when we were saying goodnight to each other. I'm the kind of guy that usually waits for "moments". But I didn't even stop to think I could just make one by saying "Ah screw it". Now I feel like I'm relegated to the Friend Zone with her (we previously almost dated back in December).

Ugh, I want to call her and somehow try to just make everything up. I really like this girl, this sucks. I don't even deserve a Man Card.


WARNING! WARNING! We are entering the friend zone!

Tiduwho 04-17-2009 03:27 PM

Re: Dating is miserable
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by neumdogg (Post 9254222)
WARNING! WARNING! We are entering the friend zone!

My plan was to calm her down, and then at then end of the night make a move, after a good transition. The transition came in and out, and was complicated by annoying guy who kept insisting he "enjoyed our company". And then I just fell apart and went the easy Hug, okay, have a nice night.


IDIOT! I just keep kicking myself. :BANG


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:53 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.14
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
All trademarks and copyrights are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster. The rest is owned by antsmarching.org.