Dating is miserable

[wnderwoman]

Don't just say hi, I had one guy do this to me for over a year. I started calling him the "Hi" guy because that's all he would say to me, multiple times per day.

It got annoying.

[UTTAD83]

Originally Posted by wnderwoman

Don't just say hi, I had one guy do this to me for over a year. I started calling him the "Hi" guy because that's all he would say to me, multiple times per day.

It got annoying.

I will but I need more of a reason to talk to her. I only really see her if we pass by each other on the way to the kitchen or something. I have to come up with a reason to actually say more than hi while we walk by each other.

[pathetic]

Originally Posted by UTTAD83

I will but I need more of a reason to talk to her. I only really see her if we pass by each other on the way to the kitchen or something. I have to come up with a reason to actually say more than hi while we walk by each other.

try

"since we're walking by the kitchen, how about you make me some breakfast?"

[UTTAD83]

Originally Posted by pathetic

try

"since we're walking by the kitchen, how about you make me some breakfast?"

Blololololol or I should just ask what the hell she's doing outside of it amirite?!?!

[pathetic]

Originally Posted by UTTAD83

Blololololol or I should just ask what the hell she's doing outside of it amirite?!?!

exactly! establish hand

a man without hand is not a man

[UTTAD83]

Originally Posted by pathetic

exactly! establish hand

a man without hand is not a man

We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the hand right from the opening.

[dmbetc]

I like hands in openings.

[UTTAD83]

Let's face it, all I've really had lately is hand...

[pathetic]

Originally Posted by dmbetc

I like hands in openings.

Originally Posted by UTTAD83

Let's face it, all I've really had lately is hand...

[Roose13]

Thankful I'm still summing with the girl who I broke off dating with. I'm being cautious though and I'm reminding her that I don't want it to get weird. She reassured me by saying she's happy to have a guy to fuck so hopefully I'm in the clear on that path.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Thankful I'm still summing with the girl who I broke off dating with. I'm being cautious though and I'm reminding her that I don't want it to get weird. She reassured me by saying she's happy to have a guy to fuck so hopefully I'm in the clear on that path.

Kinda what I went through a couple months ago. Just keep your distance emotionally. Even when you're the one who broke it off, it might still hit you if she all of the sudden wants to stop summing because of a new guy she's going to start seeing.

[pathetic]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Kinda what I went through a couple months ago. Just keep your distance emotionally. Even when you're the one who broke it off, it might still hit you if she all of the sudden wants to stop summing because of a new guy she's going to start summing.

fixed for reality of the situation

[dmbetc]

casual summing never lasts long or ends well, at least with my experience (with males and females). It's fun, but yeah...tread carefully.

[UTTAD83]

Yeah, I've yet to have that end successfully. And yet every time there's a chance, I will still take it

[bigbird321]

Hey "Dating is Miserable", not so much of a lurker, first time poster. Advise me.
Met this girl a year and a half ago. She was one of my best friends at the time ex-girlfriends. Turns out we had a lot in common, DMB being the number one instant connection, needless to say we hit it off and became friends, yada yada yada..... I brought this fabulous individual to NYC for the first attempt at the caravan last year, even though I may have been in a relationship at the time (Im an asshole), and again for the rescheduled dates when I was not...
Not bad for a first and second date right?

I Felt really bad about myself cheating on my GF at the time while in NYC the first time with this girl, distanced myself from reality and this dreamgirl for a couple months to recoup and soul-search and not seem like an asshole for jumping from relationship to relationship like a common whore, even if that sounds stupid its what I needed. Regardless it happened, and I in-turn fell out with this fantastic girl. So when I finally grew some kahunas and decided to attempt to rekindle this flame with my fellow Dave fan she said I had betrayed her by not immediately staking my claim to her, for lack of a better term, and 'wifeying' her up. She had said it would take some work to win her mutual affections back. So.... I neglected my personal responsibilities when it was possible to drive upwards of an hour take this girl out as often as I could, send tokens of my affection such as flowers and all that cheesy crap on special occasions, which is right up both our alleys. We got to the point for a while where we were best-friends and talked daily, and saw eachother as often as our clashing schedules would permit which recently has been not at all.
About a week ago our daily communications fell apart. She stopped answering calls, delayed responses to texts only fragment things more. While we were never in an exclusive relationship per se, it wasnt from a lack of effort on my behalf. When I ask about her distancing herself from me she says shes just been distracted, which i have a hard time believing as her schedule is wide fucking open and we have an open enough relationship to talk about these types of things
I dont know what to do, my thoughts are: There is someone else, She doesn't want to be with me, and retribution for my own time of being distracted with my own bullshit and kind of blowing her off.

so tell me; Waste of time? Press the issue and force the truth? Or do nothing and let our future hang in relative limbo?
I just dunno where to go with any of this....
/semi drunk rant.

Flying her to WPB in 3 weeks, if she isnt completely disenchanted with our relationship/friendship by then, so shit is sensitive....

Much love to all you Miserable Dating fools.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by bigbird321

Hey "Dating is Miserable", not so much of a lurker, first time poster. Advise me.
Met this girl a year and a half ago. She was one of my best friends at the time ex-girlfriends. Turns out we had a lot in common, DMB being the number one instant connection, needless to say we hit it off and became friends, yada yada yada..... I brought this fabulous individual to NYC for the first attempt at the caravan last year, even though I may have been in a relationship at the time (Im an asshole), and again for the rescheduled dates when I was not...
Not bad for a first and second date right?

I Felt really bad about myself cheating on my GF at the time while in NYC the first time with this girl, distanced myself from reality and this dreamgirl for a couple months to recoup and soul-search and not seem like an asshole for jumping from relationship to relationship like a common whore, even if that sounds stupid its what I needed. Regardless it happened, and I in-turn fell out with this fantastic girl. So when I finally grew some kahunas and decided to attempt to rekindle this flame with my fellow Dave fan she said I had betrayed her by not immediately staking my claim to her, for lack of a better term, and 'wifeying' her up. She had said it would take some work to win her mutual affections back. So.... I neglected my personal responsibilities when it was possible to drive upwards of an hour take this girl out as often as I could, send tokens of my affection such as flowers and all that cheesy crap on special occasions, which is right up both our alleys. We got to the point for a while where we were best-friends and talked daily, and saw eachother as often as our clashing schedules would permit which recently has been not at all.
About a week ago our daily communications fell apart. She stopped answering calls, delayed responses to texts only fragment things more. While we were never in an exclusive relationship per se, it wasnt from a lack of effort on my behalf. When I ask about her distancing herself from me she says shes just been distracted, which i have a hard time believing as her schedule is wide fucking open and we have an open enough relationship to talk about these types of things


so tell me; Waste of time? Press the issue and force the truth? Or do nothing and let our future hang in relative limbo?
I just dunno where to go with any of this....
/semi drunk rant.

Flying her to WPB in 3 weeks, if she isnt completely disenchanted with our relationship/friendship by then, so shit is sensitive....

Much love to all you Miserable Dating fools.

I'll skip to this:

I dont know what to do, my thoughts are: There is someone else,

Most likely.

She doesn't want to be with me

Definitely. Both because there is someone else, and because you are friend zoned/lost your worth to her.

and retribution for my own time of being distracted with my own bullshit and kind of blowing her off.

Nope, none of that mattered. That was just BS she was floating you when you first started talking again. Considering you had plenty of opportunities after that, it was whatever you did with those opportunities that sunk you.


It sounds like she wanted a "man" to claim her, while you gave her all the time in the world like a "boy crush". Giving a girl attention is only win win after the girl has done something to earn that attention. If she hasn't done anything, and you give her attention and butter her up with gifts anyway, it makes no sense socially. And thus she loses respect for you.

This girl doesn't have to try, and thus there is no point. That's my read.


Stop responding to her, stop being there. At least give her something to think about.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Thankful I'm still summing with the girl who I broke off dating with. I'm being cautious though and I'm reminding her that I don't want it to get weird. She reassured me by saying she's happy to have a guy to fuck so hopefully I'm in the clear on that path.

ahhahahaa let us know when her head starts spinning her into another dimension.

[Roose13]

Well while I casually sum her, I've been talking to a couple of friends who I've always had interest in on separate occasions.

One is actually one of my best friends who I've always wanted to give dating a shot but he has/had a bf. But right now their situation is so fucked and she's trying to convince herself to just let go and I've dropped several bombs including asking her out for the near future and she said yes.

The other has very little dating experience but she's down to earth, chill and I've known her for a while and am close to her best friend as well because we're both hockey writers.

I know both very well already so it isn't like I'm "starting fresh."

[dmbgodagirl41]

Dear John:

Chick isn't into you; move on. Or, at least cut off your frequent contact with her so she has a chance to miss you or really appreciate who you are. Sounds to me like she wants her cake and eat it too. Waste of time.

Love,
Katie

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Well while I casually sum her, I've been talking to a couple of friends who I've always had interest in on separate occasions.

One is actually one of my best friends who I've always wanted to give dating a shot but he has/had a bf. But right now their situation is so fucked and she's trying to convince herself to just let go and I've dropped several bombs including asking her out for the near future and she said yes.

The other has very little dating experience but she's down to earth, chill and I've known her for a while and am close to her best friend as well because we're both hockey writers.

I know both very well already so it isn't like I'm "starting fresh."

ahhahahaa let us know when her head starts spinning her into another dimension.

[UTTAD83]

KT dropping troof bombs up in here.

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

Dear John:

Chick isn't into you; move on. Or, at least cut off your frequent contact with her so she has a chance to miss you or really appreciate who you are. Sounds to me like she wants her cake and eat it too. Waste of time.

Love,
Katie

Which one, sum chick or the other two. Because I can guarantee you're wrong about the other two because even if it doesn't happen that the one who I'd like to be with never comes to fruition, I won't be hurt by it. She's been one of my best friends and it would at least guarantee that a relationship won't risk ruining the friendship.

In regards to the "cake and eat it too" remark, you don't really know her back story so I'm going to dismiss that comment.

I'm playing these two girls very carefully and slowly so I can get a better idea if trying the next level is worth it. Girl number two is gonna come to AC and go to the beach with me on Saturday.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by UTTAD83

KT dropping troof bombs up in here.

I was talking to a friend a couple weeks ago, who is going through a divorce, and he said "I should have known she didn't want to get married when I had to ask her four times, and she finally said yes on the fifth".

Most friends would just give good advice. This is how it went.

Me: Five times?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: That's bullshit.
Friend: I know.
Me: No, I mean YOU, you're bullshit.
Friend: What?
Me: You heard me, you big fucking full of shit idiot. If you ask a woman to marry you and she flat-out says no, and you want to get married, then you move the fuck on. What part of that situation did you not see was going to end up badly? You want us all to feel SOOOOO bad for you that she cheated on you and how it's bullshit, when the bullshit lies with YOU. YOU chose to practically force something on her that she told you FOUR times she didn't want to do. Now, she's done something to end it and you're all shocked about it. You, sir, are bullshit.
Friend: Wow.

Boom. Roasted by bombs of truth.

[Tiduwho]

I'm pretty sure Katie was talking to John, see above.

Is your name john as well, Roose?

[UTTAD83]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

I was talking to a friend a couple weeks ago, who is going through a divorce, and he said "I should have known she didn't want to get married when I had to ask her four times, and she finally said yes on the fifth".

Most friends would just give good advice. This is how it went.

Me: Five times?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: That's bullshit.
Friend: I know.
Me: No, I mean YOU, you're bullshit.
Friend: What?
Me: You heard me, you big fucking full of shit idiot. If you ask a woman to marry you and she flat-out says no, and you want to get married, then you move the fuck on. What part of that situation did you not see was going to end up badly? You want us all to feel SOOOOO bad for you that she cheated on you and how it's bullshit, when the bullshit lies with YOU. YOU chose to practically force something on her that she told you FOUR times she didn't want to do. Now, she's done something to end it and you're all shocked about it. You, sir, are bullshit.
Friend: Wow.

Boom. Roasted by bombs of truth.

Hey, it worked out for Johnny Cash

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Which one, sum chick or the other two. Because I can guarantee you're wrong about the other two because even if it doesn't happen that the one who I'd like to be with never comes to fruition, I won't be hurt by it. She's been one of my best friends and it would at least guarantee that a relationship won't risk ruining the friendship.

In regards to the "cake and eat it too" remark, you don't really know her back story so I'm going to dismiss that comment.

I'm playing these two girls very carefully and slowly so I can get a better idea if trying the next level is worth it. Girl number two is gonna come to AC and go to the beach with me on Saturday.

Was talkin' to BigBird, but cool!

[bigbird321]

Much love y'all. Had a couple of beers last night put me in the introspective mood. I appreciate 8the help

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

Was talkin' to BigBird, but cool!

HAHA my name is John too! Woops, nevermind

[gonz085]

Yeah the only way to get out of a casual summing situation without repercussions is to really take some extreme measures. Gotta be willing to go all the way though.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by bigbird321

Much love y'all. Had a couple of beers last night put me in the introspective mood. I appreciate 8the help

Word to Big Bird.

Originally Posted by Roose13

HAHA my name is John too! Woops, nevermind

I call you "Roose", FWIW. John? Tha hell?

Originally Posted by gonz085

Yeah the only way to get out of a casual summing situation without repercussions is to really take some extreme measures. Gotta be willing to go all the way though.

I am all for the casual hook-up buddy without any expectation of a relationship, but, let's face it, it's because I'm magic.

I've only banged one ex boyfriend, and it was 12 years after we originally banged. It made him feel like shit, so I think my track record is pretty awesome. Save it for the Lifetime movie of the week, Sandra.