Dating is miserable

[SmoothG]

Originally Posted by bartender_man

Being 35 and single ain't that much fun

Being 35 and single is amazing! Travel, spend my money on myself! Much happier single in my 30s than 20s.

Whats the longest you all been single? For me 3 years now, its great!

[SmoothG]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

I bet that might make it tough. Probably through 30 would be okay. Pressure from society is a bitch. I feel pressure from society all the time to get married and have children. Sucks...

Yeah, pressure from family, friends and society definitely sucks...but much rather be single and happy than married with kids because thats what everyone else is doing.

[AllifromOhio]

Originally Posted by SmoothG

Yeah, pressure from family, friends and society definitely sucks...but much rather be single and happy than married with kids because thats what everyone else is doing.

That's how I feel. 26, unmarried, no kids, decent pay with a partner who also gets paid well, makes for a pretty relaxing life. I'd much rather have it this way than having mini-mes running around eating and shitting all of my money and time away.

Society makes me seem like a bad person though because I don't want MY life to be the other way.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by SmoothG

Being 35 and single is amazing! Travel, spend my money on myself! Much happier single in my 30s than 20s.

Whats the longest you all been single? For me 3 years now, its great!

Pretty good outlook

[Rodey]

Originally Posted by SmoothG

Being 35 and single is amazing! Travel, spend my money on myself! Much happier single in my 30s than 20s.

Whats the longest you all been single? For me 3 years now, its great!

I don't really like doing stuff on my own, or at least it's not as enjoyable most of the time. Yeah, I go to movies by myself sometimes and sometimes prefer it that way, but stuff like travel? I don't know, I'd just rather share those experiences with someone.

My girlfriend doesn't want kids (at least that's what she says now) and I'm indifferent. I don't really feel societal pressure on that front, but I kind of do on marriage.

[redsox14]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

Fall is my thing. I'm the king of fall fun and fancy Fridays.

Fall is the best!

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

How is everyone doing with their relationships? It's so dead in here.

Single. Just broke it off with someone about a month ago. Nobody in the mix right now.

Originally Posted by GSUdawg521

23 days til the wedding

Congrats!

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

Miserable when I think about being alone and how many friends and ex friends are married, babied, successful....but I'm focusing on passing my boards.

THIS!

Originally Posted by SmoothG

Being 35 and single is amazing! Travel, spend my money on myself! Much happier single in my 30s than 20s.

Whats the longest you all been single? For me 3 years now, its great!

Yeah I've been traveling and saving to buy a house which is nice. I'd rather be traveling righ tnow than with kids, but I would like to be in a relationship! I've dated 1 or 2 people this year but nothing "official" for about a year and a half

[jordanbball17]

Just passed over a year officially single and its been pretty great. Graduating from college, moving back to the big city, getting an apartment, and starting my career in the past few months would have left very little room for a partner. Just now getting back into the dating scene again. Recently been seeing a girl that's never gone past making out with another girl before, so that's been interesting.

I'm totally in a different mindset these days. I used to be desperate to be in a relationship and felt weird not being in one or talking to a girl, but these days (with the help of my awesome therapist) I'm really becoming more comfortable being single.

[lockman21]

I'm officially in the stage in my life where every non-single friend in my life is trying to set me up with their single friends.

[AllifromOhio]

How old are you?

I never try to set single people up for long term, just for a single night or event.

[scrock25]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

That's how I feel. 26, unmarried, no kids, decent pay with a partner who also gets paid well, makes for a pretty relaxing life. I'd much rather have it this way than having mini-mes running around eating and shitting all of my money and time away.

Society makes me seem like a bad person though because I don't want MY life to be the other way.

Well that's certainly not all kids contribute to their parents' life, but I get your point.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by lockman21

I'm officially in the stage in my life where every non-single friend in my life is trying to set me up with their single friends.

dude....Been through this a lot over the last few years....Gets annoying.


-On another note-May have a new prospect....Met her through a class I'm doing. Very early yet but some positive signs...

[redsox14]

Anyone ever not sure if they really like someone?

I've had this guy at work that has liked me for a while. Weird guy but means well, somehow worked his way into our group last year. He asked me out last winter and I was very uninterested and nicely told him no as he was super annoying at the time. Well he still flirts all the time and lately I'm thinking maybe he's not so bad. I'm not annoyed by him as I used to be. But I'm not sure if I'm "settling" because I have no other prospects right now or if I actually might like him. I am also wondering if I do like him but don't want to give it a chance because I know I would never hear the end of it from people at work. It's me and 5 guys that hang out at work, eat lunch etc and they would just rag on me endlessly, plus everyone else here thinks he's a little weird too. haha

[bartender_man]

I'd be careful about getting involved with anyone at work....I mean how much are you around him in the office? I dated a girl from work many years and in the end it turned real ugly....Was terrible

-To answer your question tho-I'd wait and not settle

[spoot388]

Originally Posted by redsox14

Anyone ever not sure if they really like someone?

I've had this guy at work that has liked me for a while. Weird guy but means well, somehow worked his way into our group last year. He asked me out last winter and I was very uninterested and nicely told him no as he was super annoying at the time. Well he still flirts all the time and lately I'm thinking maybe he's not so bad. I'm not annoyed by him as I used to be. But I'm not sure if I'm "settling" because I have no other prospects right now or if I actually might like him. I am also wondering if I do like him but don't want to give it a chance because I know I would never hear the end of it from people at work. It's me and 5 guys that hang out at work, eat lunch etc and they would just rag on me endlessly, plus everyone else here thinks he's a little weird too. haha

i'm kind of in the same boat.

i met a woman at work when we went through training together. we became friends and she has since quit. we usually hang out a couple times a week, typically just bullshitting and watching rick and morty (awesome show btw). we get along pretty well, but i'm not sure if theres enough there for anything to happen. shes not sure either.

she flirts a lot, but then says stuff to keep things in the friend zone. even though we're cool hanging out, we don't really have much in common. she's also crazy (conspiracy theories for everything). my instincts say stay friends, but then i've been single for so long and i feel like i should just do it so i don't pass up my chance. but since i moved last year, this is the first good friend i've made and would like to not ruin that on something that goes south after a couple months.

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by redsox14

Anyone ever not sure if they really like someone?



I've had this guy at work that has liked me for a while. Weird guy but means well, somehow worked his way into our group last year. He asked me out last winter and I was very uninterested and nicely told him no as he was super annoying at the time. Well he still flirts all the time and lately I'm thinking maybe he's not so bad. I'm not annoyed by him as I used to be. But I'm not sure if I'm "settling" because I have no other prospects right now or if I actually might like him. I am also wondering if I do like him but don't want to give it a chance because I know I would never hear the end of it from people at work. It's me and 5 guys that hang out at work, eat lunch etc and they would just rag on me endlessly, plus everyone else here thinks he's a little weird too. haha

Jenn--I only say this because I think highly of you. But, you so much better than this gurrrrrllll. you're settling. You're doing exactly what you're questioning it is, just contemplating it because there's maybe nothing else right now. Don't lock yourself down and as a result lock yourself out or something better presenting itself.

[SmoothG]

I generally agree with the advice of dont settle, but on the other side of it why not? You dont have to get married, but if the guy has grown on you a bit over time, doesnt hurt to go for a drink or something to find out if you some chemistry. But as mentioned, dipping your pen in company ink can get messy.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by spoot388

i'm kind of in the same boat.

i met a woman at work when we went through training together. we became friends and she has since quit. we usually hang out a couple times a week, typically just bullshitting and watching rick and morty (awesome show btw). we get along pretty well, but i'm not sure if theres enough there for anything to happen. shes not sure either.

she flirts a lot, but then says stuff to keep things in the friend zone. even though we're cool hanging out, we don't really have much in common. she's also crazy (conspiracy theories for everything). my instincts say stay friends, but then i've been single for so long and i feel like i should just do it so i don't pass up my chance. but since i moved last year, this is the first good friend i've made and would like to not ruin that on something that goes south after a couple months.

Is this different than the other work friend girl that you were BFF friend zoned with?

[redsox14]

Originally Posted by bartender_man

I'd be careful about getting involved with anyone at work....I mean how much are you around him in the office? I dated a girl from work many years and in the end it turned real ugly....Was terrible

-To answer your question tho-I'd wait and not settle

That is actually the original reason I gave him of why we couldn't go out-- I don't date people at work, which overall I actually really haven't anyways, but its not a rule I have either, though I've seen it get real messy for others! I think you're probably right, though. Don't settle. Thanks for the advice!

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

Jenn--I only say this because I think highly of you. But, you so much better than this gurrrrrllll. you're settling. You're doing exactly what you're questioning it is, just contemplating it because there's maybe nothing else right now. Don't lock yourself down and as a result lock yourself out or something better presenting itself.

awww, how sweet! Agreed, I think you both are right. I'm going to hold off on anything at this point and try to meet someone new!

[redsox14]

Originally Posted by spoot388

i'm kind of in the same boat.

i met a woman at work when we went through training together. we became friends and she has since quit. we usually hang out a couple times a week, typically just bullshitting and watching rick and morty (awesome show btw). we get along pretty well, but i'm not sure if theres enough there for anything to happen. shes not sure either.

she flirts a lot, but then says stuff to keep things in the friend zone. even though we're cool hanging out, we don't really have much in common. she's also crazy (conspiracy theories for everything). my instincts say stay friends, but then i've been single for so long and i feel like i should just do it so i don't pass up my chance. but since i moved last year, this is the first good friend i've made and would like to not ruin that on something that goes south after a couple months.

I can definitely relate to this. I tend to fall for guys that I am friends with first. It's my MO. The problem is once you are good friends you're afraid to do anything about it because if it doesn't work out you don't want to lose the friendship, especially in your case where you are new in town and don't want to lose the one friend you have there. However I've come to realize over the years that it shouldn't stop you. I've "not said anything" a few times and I don't really talk to them anymore anyways so I should have just gone for it at the time.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you think she's worth it, go for it even if you are worried about ruining the friendship. But as the others have mentioned to me, don't settle

[lockman21]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

How old are you?

I never try to set single people up for long term, just for a single night or event.

27

Originally Posted by bartender_man

dude....Been through this a lot over the last few years....Gets annoying.


-On another note-May have a new prospect....Met her through a class I'm doing. Very early yet but some positive signs...

It does when they aren't good dates. If they were good people, I'd be all for it.

Like this Friday, I took this girl out for dinner (bill was $165 + tip) and a show at Second City. It wasn't a cheap date at all, but that's not the biggest issue. It's that she said she had a good time, she told my friend she liked me, and she was texting me the next day how much fun she had. Then she just vanished. I asked her out again and no response.

Apparently this is becoming insanely common. There have been plenty of girls I'm not interest in, but I don't just disappear and stop answering texts. I'll tell them what's up. I usually get one or the other, girl vanishes or it's just a bad date and I'm not interested.

I'm just sick of wasting my time.

[Rodey]

Stop taking girls out for $165 dinners on the first date. I get that you're saying that's not the biggest problem, but at least it won't be a waste of time and your wallet.

[aclark0622]

Yeah. I mean different strokes and all that, but that would be a bit opulent for me. Though I'd say at the time that I'd had a good time.

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by Rodey

Stop taking girls out for $165 dinners on the first date. I get that you're saying that's not the biggest problem, but at least it won't be a waste of time and your wallet.

The first date should always be Burger King. Then you'll see how much she really likes you.

But seriously the first date doent have to always be food. Take her ice skating or something like that.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by lockman21

27



It does when they aren't good dates. If they were good people, I'd be all for it.

Like this Friday, I took this girl out for dinner (bill was $165 + tip) and a show at Second City. It wasn't a cheap date at all, but that's not the biggest issue. It's that she said she had a good time, she told my friend she liked me, and she was texting me the next day how much fun she had. Then she just vanished. I asked her out again and no response.

Apparently this is becoming insanely common. There have been plenty of girls I'm not interest in, but I don't just disappear and stop answering texts. I'll tell them what's up. I usually get one or the other, girl vanishes or it's just a bad date and I'm not interested.

I'm just sick of wasting my time.

Some chicks are just weird dude. Sounds like she has personal issues she is dealing with, and not ready to commit to a guy. Just my take.

[bartender_man]

[QUOTE=redsox14;16156256]That is actually the original reason I gave him of why we couldn't go out-- I don't date people at work, which overall I actually really haven't anyways, but its not a rule I have either, though I've seen it get real messy for others! I think you're probably right, though. Don't settle. Thanks for the advice!


Funny how I told you to be careful with someone you work with, I now have potential to get with a girl who I take a class with. Class ends in December. Trying to figure out what to do....Have got a very strong vibe from here and think I'm in if I want it. She also has a 15 year old kid which could be an issue. Never been with anyone who has had a kid before.

I do quite like her though....

[AllifromOhio]

Originally Posted by bartender_man

Funny how I told you to be careful with someone you work with, I now have potential to get with a girl who I take a class with. Class ends in December. Trying to figure out what to do....Have got a very strong vibe from here and think I'm in if I want it. She also has a 15 year old kid which could be an issue. Never been with anyone who has had a kid before.

I do quite like her though....

How many people are in your class? What's the likely hood of her being in more of your classes in the future?

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

How many people are in your class? What's the likely hood of her being in more of your classes in the future?

I'd say there are about 25-30 people in my class. Will not be in any more classes with her after this. I'm done with this course in December.

[AllifromOhio]

Originally Posted by bartender_man

I'd say there are about 25-30 people in my class. Will not be in any more classes with her after this. I'm done with this course in December.

Go for it then. You'll never see her in a month and a half if it doesn't work out.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

Go for it then. You'll never see her in a month and a half if it doesn't work out.

Probably going to try and do the ole study partner get together this weekend and then go from there

[tyler3440]

[QUOTE=bartender_man;16158586]

Originally Posted by redsox14

That is actually the original reason I gave him of why we couldn't go out-- I don't date people at work, which overall I actually really haven't anyways, but its not a rule I have either, though I've seen it get real messy for others! I think you're probably right, though. Don't settle. Thanks for the advice!

Originally Posted by redsox14

Funny how I told you to be careful with someone you work with, I now have potential to get with a girl who I take a class with. Class ends in December. Trying to figure out what to do....Have got a very strong vibe from here and think I'm in if I want it. She also has a 15 year old kid which could be an issue. Never been with anyone who has had a kid before.

I do quite like her though....

Same here! The girl I like is in a class with me until December. She doesn't have a 15 year old kid but it's a smilier situation. Got to ask her out soon. The problam is Idk if she likes me.