Dating is miserable

[Rodey]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

Living with someone is not needing constant attention. Personal time has to be maintained when living together. I actually feel like it's even less constant attention than when dating and going over to the other's house. They are clearing their schedule to see you when that's the case. At a home you share, you can be more relaxed when the other is there if you want.

I agree, I don't think it is needing constant attention and that's not what I meant by my statement. What you state her is exactly what I meant. I learned that A) I didn't need to see her every night and B) didn't need constant interaction when we were with one another. I had never dated someone with her personality type, so when she got quiet, I just assumed something was up. That, in turn, would make her feel like she constantly needed to interact. But we had worked that out quite well.

[Alazais]

I lost a bet and have to wear a hotdog costume all day today. Nothing about dating but thought I would share my misery today.

[bartender_man]

Man....So made a move on this girl who I've been working on. Got shut down. Fucking crushed. Thought I was in for sure.

[AllifromOhio]

Sorry to hear that. She the girl from class?
Didn't you say you were working two girls though?

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

Sorry to hear that. She the girl from class?
Didn't you say you were working two girls though?

She the one from class yeah. She was the one I really kind of fell for to be honest. I know I'll get over it (hopefully sooner than later lol) But it fucking stings bad right now

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by bartender_man

She the one from class yeah. She was the one I really kind of fell for to be honest. I know I'll get over it (hopefully sooner than later lol) But it fucking stings bad right now

Dude, I hate to here that. I know how bad that sucks. You will get over it. It may take a while unfortatnly.

I hate to admit this but one girl I had a crush on in HS it took like 3 months for me to get over it. God how the hell did I let that happen.

You will probably get over it way quicker then that.

And that one crush from HS that I had I thought It was for sure as well

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by tyler3440

Dude, I hate to here that. I know how bad that sucks. You will get over it. It may take a while unfortatnly.

I hate to admit this but one girl I had a crush on in HS it took like 3 months for me to get over it. God how the hell did I let that happen.

You will probably get over it way quicker then that.

And that one crush from HS that I had I thought It was for sure as well

Yeah I was sure I was in. Could not believe it. Just going to spend lots of time with friends, that helps. But yeah first few days are always the hardest.
3 months is not that uncommon if you really like the girl as well btw

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by bartender_man

Yeah I was sure I was in. Could not believe it. Just going to spend lots of time with friends, that helps. But yeah first few days are always the hardest.
3 months is not that uncommon if you really like the girl as well btw

That's when it really sucks. When you think for sure your in. Yeah dude sit back this weekend have a few beers watch some college football and try not to think about it.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by tyler3440

That's when it really sucks. When you think for sure your in. Yeah dude sit back this weekend have a few beers watch some college football and try not to think about it.

Thanks bud! And will do that

[Speilmen230]

The chick I told I wanted to just be friends I think has finally gotten the memo. Stopped texting me so much and we rarely cross paths on campus anymore. Worked out in my favor yet I still feel like a prick.

Oh well. Life is good and my dating life is non-existent again per the usual quota.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

The chick I told I wanted to just be friends I think has finally gotten the memo. Stopped texting me so much and we rarely cross paths on campus anymore. Worked out in my favor yet I still feel like a prick.

Oh well. Life is good and my dating life is non-existent again per the usual quota.

Good to hear that worked out. I'm also in the usual quota as well.

[spoot388]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

The chick I told I wanted to just be friends I think has finally gotten the memo. Stopped texting me so much and we rarely cross paths on campus anymore. Worked out in my favor yet I still feel like a prick.

Oh well. Life is good and my dating life is non-existent again per the usual quota.

ain't that but a bitch. same thing with the woman i was talking to. the one time someone is actually into me and all i can think is "why do you have to be terrible for me!?" it couldn't be someone i actually have things in common with. no, the one who likes me has to be the one who is like the exact opposite of what i'm looking for. and now i'm back to having nothing going on. not sure whats worse. have nothing or having something thats nothing like what you want.

[Speilmen230]

I'll take having nothing going on as opposed to having something I don't like almost everytime.

Much easier to just do my own thing and make decisions that are a me-first approach.

When i'm in something I don't enjoy I often find myself looking around the room more and comparing it to what I have. Usually end up feeling like shit because of it.

[Speilmen230]

Found out this morning that the girl from Nashville is now seeing someone. Truly am flying solo with no strings attached now.

Bring on the bourbon, bud, and nights of writing!

[jkrue22]

Current girlfriend is upset with me because I still talk to an ex. And by "talk to an ex" I mean only occasionally, like once every few months or so... as much as I might talk to any other friend in my life who I don't live near or see often. I get where she's coming from and I know it's a little weird to be friends with an ex, but in this case that really is the case. Am I in the wrong here? How do I put my gf at ease but still maintain a friendship that means a lot to me? I think she's being a little paranoid and insecure but I obviously can't say that, and I also don't feel like I have anything to apologize for or change about my behavior.

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by jkrue22

Current girlfriend is upset with me because I still talk to an ex. And by "talk to an ex" I mean only occasionally, like once every few months or so... as much as I might talk to any other friend in my life who I don't live near or see often. I get where she's coming from and I know it's a little weird to be friends with an ex, but in this case that really is the case. Am I in the wrong here? How do I put my gf at ease but still maintain a friendship that means a lot to me? I think she's being a little paranoid and insecure but I obviously can't say that, and I also don't feel like I have anything to apologize for or change about my behavior.

Dude your defently not wrong by wanting to be friends with you ex. Your gf has to trust you enough. Sit down and have a conversation with her. Tell your gf that she can trust you. Tell your gf there is a reason your ex is your ex. Say your friends with your ex because the relationship did not work out because we weren't meant to be together. Tell your gf there is no reason to not be friends with someone just because you used to date them.

[SmoothG]

I dont think youre wrong to keep in contact with an ex. But I also think this is one of the times to pick your battles man. If your current girlfriend is uncomfortable with your contact with an ex maybe you just cut back from talking to your ex. Life is full of ups and downs in relationships and if your partner feels insecure about this maybe its a good time to stand by her and step back a bit. Of course not knowing other details about your relationship its hard to say, but thats my .02. Is your ex single?

[dmbetc]

The whole talking to your ex thing is a slippery slope. It was an issue in my past relationship and we never got over it (wasn't the reason it ended though). If your current girlfriend can not get over you talking to your ex then this will be a thorn in your side for the remainder of your relationship. As smooth said, you have to pick you battles. It sucks to be given an ultimatum. Have you had a conversation with your girlfriend about it? Find out why she has an issue. How long ago were you with your ex? How long was your relationship? Has your current GF met her? Did you just start talking to her out of the blue?

This is one of those things that should be brought up in the beginning of a relationship. My best friend is my ex. We were together for multiple years, lived together. When I start a new relationship I mention that. I explain we used to be together but are strictly friends now and have been friends longer than we were partners. Might be too late for that with you but you need to have a reassuring conversation with her or decide between the two.

[AllifromOhio]

I would see who means more in your life. I'm assuming your current gf means more and it's probably easier to stop communication with the ex to keep the gf happy. Occasionally talking with an ex shouldn't be an issue but it affects a lot of people/relationships. I would say end it with the ex.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

I would see who means more in your life. I'm assuming your current gf means more and it's probably easier to stop communication with the ex to keep the gf happy. Occasionally talking with an ex shouldn't be an issue but it affects a lot of people/relationships. I would say end it with the ex.

Yea this

[lockman21]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

I would see who means more in your life. I'm assuming your current gf means more and it's probably easier to stop communication with the ex to keep the gf happy. Occasionally talking with an ex shouldn't be an issue but it affects a lot of people/relationships. I would say end it with the ex.

Yup. This.

Pick your battles.

Ask yourself this, honestly...what's the point of continuing to talk to your ex randomly every couple months? If it makes your girlfriend feel better, just stop. Make her happy.

[aicdmb]

Originally Posted by lockman21

Yup. This.

Pick your battles.

Ask yourself this, honestly...what's the point of continuing to talk to your ex randomly every couple months? If it makes your girlfriend feel better, just stop. Make her happy.

Good advice right here

[Speilmen230]

Didn't know where else to talk about this:

Had a string of dreams last night revolving around Houston. Don't remember much context of them. I remember feeling anxious, angry, and frustrated in them though.

One specific moment I remember vividly is walking down a street and seeing her and her ex-bf from San Diego in a bar together. I strolled into the open entrance and bellowed, (i emphasize bellowed), "Fuck You!" in their direction at the bar. They both sort of looked up and saw me, didn't pay much attention, and went back to their conversation. In the dream I played it off like I was saying it to a friend of mine sitting near their spot. There was obviously no friend there.

I woke up in a really shitty mood and had a hard time shaking it for the remainder of the morning. Other dreams that I don't remember involving her included me being lost and not being able to find my way to 'the stadium.' She may have been in the car with me during these dreams but I can't recall.

Don't know why I felt the need to share, but it has been driving me nuts all day. Felt like I was going to explode if I didn't share it somewhere.

:deep breath:

[SmoothG]

Hope you're having a better day speilman!

[Speilmen230]

Had a much better sleep last night and a more pleasant day today. Appreciate it very much.

Tuesday was by far one of the strangest nights I've had in quite some time.

[bamadavefan15]

I had a dream once where I saw my ex with a guy and she was a bitch. Was pretty upsetting and made me mad at her in real life even though it didn't happen lol

[Speilmen230]

Actually kinda happened to me as well. I found myself just really pissed off at her and the whole thing was just very bizarre.

[redsox14]

So I broke it off with a guy in early August . I think I had mentioned it in this thread. Just wasn't feeling it. No chemistry. When we broke it off I said we could be friends but he said that would be too hard. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He text me saying that was a mistake and he wants to be friends if I'm still ok with it. So that was fine. Last Thursday night I got home from work to a letter. He mailed me an old fashioned letter. It was a full page saying how after we talked and I broke things off he thought about it a lot and how he should have done things differently and he had been holding back because he was scared. He asked me if I would give him one more chance.

So now I'm mulling that over...

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by redsox14

So I broke it off with a guy in early August . I think I had mentioned it in this thread. Just wasn't feeling it. No chemistry. When we broke it off I said we could be friends but he said that would be too hard. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He text me saying that was a mistake and he wants to be friends if I'm still ok with it. So that was fine. Last Thursday night I got home from work to a letter. He mailed me an old fashioned letter. It was a full page saying how after we talked and I broke things off he thought about it a lot and how he should have done things differently and he had been holding back because he was scared. He asked me if I would give him one more chance.

So now I'm mulling that over...

Sounds like he's pretty into you....Especially if he's doing the ole letter trick.

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by redsox14

So I broke it off with a guy in early August . I think I had mentioned it in this thread. Just wasn't feeling it. No chemistry. When we broke it off I said we could be friends but he said that would be too hard. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He text me saying that was a mistake and he wants to be friends if I'm still ok with it. So that was fine. Last Thursday night I got home from work to a letter. He mailed me an old fashioned letter. It was a full page saying how after we talked and I broke things off he thought about it a lot and how he should have done things differently and he had been holding back because he was scared. He asked me if I would give him one more chance.

So now I'm mulling that over...

If there are things he can do differently and better and you think those are enough then I say give him a chance.

If you do, start over from the beginning. Treat the first date like an actual first date - simple small talk, put it all out on the table and take it slow.