The Problem with the DMB Fan Stereotypes

[paulg83]

Obnoxious meat-head fratboy douchebags, stoned or drunk out of their minds. Rich, white, hippie kids ignorant of "real" music. Is that what we are? All of us?

There are probably plenty of fans who some of the words above apply to. But I'd challenge you to name me one band on the same tier as DMB that doesn't have some assholes in the crowd, much less stoned or drunk ones. Are the percentages higher at a DMB show, or are people just looking for it more because that's the label they've been given?

Honestly, what band out there is playing as large of venues as Dave Matthews Band and doesn't have people in the audience there just to have a good time, and get fucked up, and not give two shits about the music? How many people are in the crowd just because it's a Saturday night and they heard of these guys before?

The gift and the curse of Coran Capshaw, the band's manager - strategically booking DMB in its early days at venues that vacationing college kids could attend, tape, and disperse to their friends back at school. Those early die-hard fans in their late-teens/early twenties had a big hand in catapulting this band to the success it has today, but at the same time inadvertently gave people who think they're funny a "timeless" joke about the Dave Matthews Band - their fanbase. Followed promptly by the one about DMB dumping shit on people. Ha. Ha. Ha.

And that's a bigger problem than we think. For all the band's success and popularity, there are people who DETEST this band because of who supposedly attends their shows. Because they think they know us, Ants. Why am I hesitant to tell knew people I meet that my favorite band is Dave Matthews Band? Because I know that immediately they'll start forming opinions. Now, if they stick around to talk to me for any longer than ten minutes, those opinions will probably be squashed. But the point is, why do I feel UNCOOL when I profess my interest in this band? Why the loathing right off the bat? Why, when I told a co-worker I was leaving early to see a DMB show, did she respond "I'm disappointed in you, Paul." And, a million times worse, why, when Roi passed away, was there a Facebook group celebrating the fact that he'd died? People for some reason have an inexplicable intense hatred for this band, and you'll never know where you might stumble upon it. It's unfair, unfounded, and unfortunate, because I think without this negative preconception, this band could have won over so many more hearts and minds. In fact, I'm positive of this.

How many people has this been the sole reason why they will never get to enjoy and appreciate this band's incredible music and musicianship? How many of those people are music critics who have a voice and perpetuate this bad wrap, even when it barely applies now, if it ever did?

I'm fine with and have nothing invested in the admittedly impressive size of this fanbase, other than the fact that I love to share things I truly love with as many other people as possible. There will never be any band that everybody in the world will love. But, what's more concerning is, will this stereotype and general distaste for this band keep them out of the music history books? Decades from now, when people recall the best bands of this time, will DMB get the shaft, like Roi did at the Grammy's? You may be a huge fan and believe that they don't deserve this credit down the line, but any band with this band's credentials, just sales-wise, albums and tickets, over the span of two decades (so far) deserves a mention. Especially a band that defied all odds and became successful with an acoustic guitar, saxophone, and violinist, in an era when grunge music was surging. And tell me, where are all those grunge bands now?

There's no solution to this. I'll probably be accused of caring too much. That's cool with me. It's just always bothered me and I needed to vent... So thanks for indulging me. Leave thoughts, I'd love to hear thoughts and how you guys deal with it, if this is something that indeed bothers you.

Oh, and sorry for the long post.

[Vision23]

I know exactly what you mean, I usually don't let people know I'm a huge dmb fan until I've known them for awhile. It isn't something I should have to feel so hesitant to say, but because of those stereotypes, sometimes I am. Oh well, just one of those things you have to live with in today's world I guess.

[CGTP13]

That was a long read. Good post though. I do my best to ignore the d-bags at show and just try to have a good time. Don't be ashamed of being a DMB fan, if someone asks me I'm happy to tell them. In regards to a FB group celebrating Roi's death, that is fucking sick. People hate the band because they hear that the shows are populated with people who go to the shows just to get drunk and high and they are unaware that there is probably an equal number who go because of the music.

[Hilly]

This is our holocaust.

[Matt McKibben]

I'm normal.

[Aubrie]

Good post. If someone is going to judge us for the music we listen to or a band we like, fuck 'em. Who are they to judge? Are they perfect? No. They don't get it, and those who make hate filled groups celebrating the death of a band member of a band they hate are worse than the people they claim to despise. Most of us fans are trying to spread the love and kindness, the nay sayers are filled with hate. So in a sense, I could give a rats ass about what the haters think about me, my love for the band or my friends, because I don't need to be around those people anyway. If you don't want to talk to me because I like this band: GOOD RIDDANCE.

[CGTP13]

Originally Posted by Aubrie

Good post. If someone is going to judge us for the music we listen to or a band we like, fuck 'em. Who are they to judge? Are they perfect? No. They don't get it, and those who make hate filled groups celebrating the death of a band member of a band they hate are worse than the people they claim to despise. Most of us fans are trying to spread the love and kindness, the nay sayers are filled with hate. So in a sense, I could give a rats ass about what the haters think about me, my love for the band or my friends, because I don't need to be around those people anyway. If you don't want to talk to me because I like this band: GOOD RIDDANCE.

[dmb4127]

Originally Posted by Aubrie

Good post. If someone is going to judge us for the music we listen to or a band we like, fuck 'em. Who are they to judge? Are they perfect? No. They don't get it, and those who make hate filled groups celebrating the death of a band member of a band they hate are worse than the people they claim to despise. Most of us fans are trying to spread the love and kindness, the nay sayers are filled with hate. So in a sense, I could give a rats ass about what the haters think about me, my love for the band or my friends, because I don't need to be around those people anyway. If you don't want to talk to me because I like this band: GOOD RIDDANCE.

Right On

[grace77]

I'd just like to point out one thing about the band's humble beginnings... if it weren't for drunk/stoned college kids at The University (that's UVA, bitches), this band probably wouldn't have made it very far. That being said, Dave himself has talked about the "kids going through their DMB phase" (paraphrased). So I think of these as transient fans. They will always be at shows, and I just keep getting older, and laughing my ass off at them...

[zajDmB1]

As much as I don't care, or like to think I don't care what people think about me ha, I also hesitate around new people to say DMB is my favorite band. Depending on the person I can usually tell how they will react, so if I can tell they will try to make fun of me I usually preempt it with something like, "you are totally going to unfairly judge me now, but it's Dave Matthews Band." or somethign along those lines. Also, depending on how much I like the person I can say that in a way that makes fun of them for being assholes, too haha.

But the thing I don't get the most is a lot of these people are like music snobs or "musicians" or people that like other awesome music. So it just doens't make sense to me why you would deprive yourself of more good art just so you can be cool and not like DMB. Like, if bros started pouring into museums to see Monet's, I wonder if people would start to hate Monet in 5 years, since he'd be a bro painter haha.

[bloodybob]

Originally Posted by paulg83

Obnoxious meat-head fratboy douchebags, stoned or drunk out of their minds. Rich, white, hippie kids ignorant of "real" music. Is that what we are? All of us?

What's wrong with stoned people? It's people that don't shut up/spill their beer on me/turn the parking lot into a frat party that bother me. And since when are hippie kid ignorant of "real" music? Some of the best music ever made is hippie music, IMO.

[zajDmB1]

Originally Posted by bloodybob

What's wrong with stoned people? It's people that don't shut up/spill their beer on me/turn the parking lot into a frat party that bother me. And since when are hippie kid ignorant of "real" music? Some of the best music ever made is hippie music, IMO.

uhh, he was reiterating the stereotype(s) often associated with the band...not actually calling us that...

[bluesbrother41]

i love this post. i completely agree with everything. haha and its hard, but im slowly trying to work myself out of getting into arguments over dmb. not worth it, but its hard to resist arguing back.

[274041]

I, 1000% percent agree with op, thank you for posting exactly what I think. Its so hard not to care when there is so much hate. I never tell anyone that I listen to dmb except for relatives, my gf and my best friends. Anyone I meet in passing or become acquaintances with I do not tell. To be honest its really not worth my time to defend a band that is shed in such a dark light. I listen to my dmb with other people that like dmb. I do not preach dmb nor do I try to introduce people to dmb. It just really makes me angry when I agree with people on so many levels about music, and then they totally shit on dmb. Pitch fork for one makes me extremely irate. enough to write a letter. that website is truly filled with asshole douche bags.

[the revolution]

yep. sad story of a real dmb fan. i wish it was different too because alot of people are missing out on some amazing music.

[Yankees223]

Great post, and great responses. I agree with everything OP said and with most of the responses as well. However, I am never afraid to tell anyone who my favorite band is! Don't give a damn if they judge me unfairly, as long as I get my music. Luckily, I don't think I've come across many of these judgmental types yet....

[yellowflame34]

yes, this is all so true, and so sad. it really is not fair at all, and it affects me a lot in my life, because i would love to voice the passion i have for this band more, but i cant without being criticized or being made fun of. i just wish more people would forget the stereotypes and listen to the music and the message, but they wont and that is the curse we as fans carry... good thing there's ants!

[btpeters]

stereotype or no stereotype, i love the music of DMB. i'm not embarrassed to admit it and i'm not gonna shy away because someone i don't like enjoys it too. the more people to share the DMB the better.

if because i like their music, i get thrown in a stereotype, i'm not bothered. i'm not paying attention to that. i know who i am, people who i care about and know me know who i am. that's all that matters.

music means different things to different people. to the stereotyped 'frat boy' DMB may mean getting plastered at the tailgate singing along some live songs that were overplayed on the radio and forgetting most of the night by the previous morning. to others it might mean enjoying the intracacies of the recording and production on the crash album and coming on the internet and discussing it with people on a message board. to some it may be the enjoyment of living in the past and remembering the 90's.

just enjoy the music and don't bother with what stereotype you get. cuz honestly, there's a lot of you who bash the 'frat boy' or 'stoned hippie' stereotype on here and probably fit it, or are talking in depth about great lyrical arrangements like "Spoon" with one of those stereotypes.

the people who come up with the stereotype do so because they don't know much and refuse to invest in it. so its judged by a few commongrounds.

all right, done with this novel...

[TwoSteppin4Life]

I agree so much, OP. I hate that people think that DMB is terrible just because of the people of listen and what goes down with half the crowd at shows. I'm still convinced after one show that Raleigh's crowd never setles down, hence the crazy shows here. People that hate DMB never gave them a chance, and they dont know what there missing.

[VanHorneDog]

is all of them are true?

yes.

[NextMovement41]

I don't fit that stereotype at all.

[chemcaj]

Gosh very true what the OP said. There is no accounting for taste in music... I guess l'll have to erase all of the Mozart Bach old jazz and Led Zep from my IPOD. What classics should I replace them with...

[dmaul1114]

Stereotypes suck. But DMB does have more of those idiots in the crowd (and more teeny boppers) than other bands I go see regularly. Especially Pearl Jam, they have a general awesome fanbase. Still some drunk assholes, but most people really seem into the show regardless. Unlike DMB where for many it's a social event and they just chat and text etc. through the whole damn show.

[bloodybob]

Originally Posted by dmaul1114

Stereotypes suck. But DMB does have more of those idiots in the crowd (and more teeny boppers) than other bands I go see regularly. Especially Pearl Jam, they have a general awesome fanbase. Still some drunk assholes, but most people really seem into the show regardless. Unlike DMB where for many it's a social event and they just chat and text etc. through the whole damn show.

Yeah everyone was pretty drunk/high for the Allman/Panic tour, but I didn't find anyone at all rude or irritating.

[HionDMB]

Originally Posted by bloodybob

Yeah everyone was pretty drunk/high for the Allman/Panic tour, but I didn't find anyone at all rude or irritating.

WP fans are waaay laid back, generally older, and most are not still sponging off their parents to subsidize their rock n roll lifestyle. True Peace, Love and Music at WP shows. DMB shows, not so much. Too many douchebags who can't handle their liquor.

[dmaul1114]

Originally Posted by HionDMB

WP fans are waaay laid back, generally older, and most are not still sponging off their parents to subsidize their rock n roll lifestyle. True Peace, Love and Music at WP shows. DMB shows, not so much. Too many douchebags who can't handle their liquor.

Yeah, that's a big part of PJ shows too.

Most fans are around my age (30) or older. DMB shows I usually feel like I'm in the older 25% of the crowd.

[burnedpig]

Thank god more people don't like em. I hope they do something to piss off half the fan base so they never go to another show again.

I'd love to have an easier time obtaining great seats each year. Fuckin' pain in my ass.

[cward]

I could give 2 shits what people think.

The End.

[geoffc]

Originally Posted by cward

I could give 2 shits what people think.

The End.

one of the simple keys to happiness

[Socks]

I imagine a lot of DMB fans are just people that like similarly great songwriters that have brought in elements of jazz or world music like Peter Gabriel, Paul Simon, or Sting.