Dating is miserable

[TheLastStop123]

I say you attack all that stuff in person. No need to make it awkward/weird before you're even there. Just let it all happen naturally, that's always the best bet good luck my man.

[Speilmen230]

Exactly how I feel.

For all I know she is hoping this happens. I'm always getting mixed signals from her. Lots of double meanings, drunken nights of her texting me pages of messages, I gotta just turn on the charm for the weekend and make my case. Even if I bomb I still see the friendship surviving to a certain extent.

[UNC41]

I thought you just wanted to sleep with her. If you're going to pour your heart to her, then yeah, doing it in person is the best approach.

[Speilmen230]

Yeah, I give two shits if I get to sleep with her, I just can't keep how I feel under wraps any longer. She infests my mind all fucking day. It's non-stop. I feel like a crazy person.

[urbowakb]

You are going into a tough emotional situation for yourself, not really sure about her though from what you have described. I think you are right about waiting until you are with her, but I think from you have described about her, that you should just be really non verbal.... When the time is right for you and her, just take her... like you mentioned she felt like some guy would, I am thinking she maybe just wants that for now. Take her as much as you want and just be quiet about it and just see how she spins around toward you. Just my .02 cents

[Tiduwho]

If you make a move, don't do it half way. Worst thing you could do is sense awkwardness, and then back off and apologize, and go back to being friends. Or really any scenario in which you find yourself apologizing.

Smooth, confident, fun. Make a girl want to kiss you. Stay away from any "it's just I've had these feelings for you for so long" soul-pouring unless you just banged or at least had a physical drawing-together scenario.

[aicdmb]

Tids hit it. Confident, fun, make her laugh, and she wants to at all, you should be good

[Speilmen230]

Appreciate all the help.

Went out and got her birthday gift yesterday, gonna be mailed out next week. Excited to see how it plays out.

[Speilmen230]

Somebody talk me off the ledge. We were texting today and moving to Houston with her came up again. There is nothing in the world I would love more than to graduate next may and make the move to Houston, but I feel like I put all that on the line if I make a move in August.

The thing that keeps me thinking august is the right time is that god forbid I move to Houston under the pretences of friends and something happens then and it doesn't work out and I'm out a place to live and in need of relocating again. If I get it out of the way in August and it goes horrible, no harm no foul, life goes on. If I wait, I garuntee myself the chance to move in with her and be under the same roof as her and really get a prime opportunity to show her the type of guy I am day to day.

I'm a fucking mess if yall haven't noticed.

[Rodey]

I think you're crazy if you move to Houston specifically for this girl and live with her.

[Speilmen230]

Yeah, tell me about it. I said somewhere in here I feel like a fucking crazy person.

[bamadavefan15]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

Somebody talk me off the ledge. We were texting today and moving to Houston with her came up again. There is nothing in the world I would love more than to graduate next may and make the move to Houston, but I feel like I put all that on the line if I make a move in August.

The thing that keeps me thinking august is the right time is that god forbid I move to Houston under the pretences of friends and something happens then and it doesn't work out and I'm out a place to live and in need of relocating again. If I get it out of the way in August and it goes horrible, no harm no foul, life goes on. If I wait, I garuntee myself the chance to move in with her and be under the same roof as her and really get a prime opportunity to show her the type of guy I am day to day.

I'm a fucking mess if yall haven't noticed.

Just do what makes you happy.

Putting your happiness in others is so dumb.

Plus, if you think living with her will help your chances, well I just disagree there.

[Speilmen230]

I'm moving after graduation, its just a matter of where and with who. 3 options. Anywhere I want by myself, wherever she is, or Nashville/Colorado with my buddy who is currently in Nashville.

She is obviously on the top of the list. My buddy second. By myself is basically a non-option unless I find some great gig somewhere.

[aicdmb]

You would move in with her, and you two never slept together??
That's either real awkward, or FZ

[Speilmen230]

FZ for sure.

[aicdmb]

Id move in with your buddy
Go to Titans game in Nashville, or burn it up in Colorado
Then fly her up or go visit her sometimes and see what happens
Just my opinion

[Speilmen230]

I've never known her when she wasn't in a relationship, so there is also that fact too.

[bamadavefan15]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

I'm moving after graduation, its just a matter of where and with who. 3 options. Anywhere I want by myself, wherever she is, or Nashville/Colorado with my buddy who is currently in Nashville.

She is obviously on the top of the list. My buddy second. By myself is basically a non-option unless I find some great gig somewhere.

I'd move out on your own or buddy.

Moving in with a FZ girl just doesn't seem bright. Like even if she gave in one night, she'd be like oh that was dumb whatever and that'd be it.

If you follow this girl, you'll never find someone you probably should meet.

[bamadavefan15]

Just my opinion. Obviously do whatever you want. Just seems incredibly dumb to me.

[Speilmen230]

So then where do I stand come august? Play it straight or just swing for the fences and see what happens?

In all honesty I don't know if I could move 1000 miles without her knowing how I feel. It is incredibly dumb. I'm a pussy though, and I like swerving away from confrontation and uncomfortable situations.

Edit: I just need to keep rereading tidwho's post when I start doubting myself.

[jen1jeff]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

So then where do I stand come august? Play it straight or just swing for the fences and see what happens?

In all honesty I don't know if I could move 1000 miles without her knowing how I feel. It is incredibly dumb. I'm a pussy though, and I like swerving away from confrontation and uncomfortable situations.

Edit: I just need to keep rereading tidwho's post when I start doubting myself.

First off you need to calm down. There are billions of girls in the world. Why be so obsessed with this one when she has NEVER given you the impression that she wants to be anything but a friend. Feel free to make a move on her in August but if you pour your heart out to her it's going to look like your desperate. Maybe it would be a good idea to try and date another girl where you currently live? I'm telling you that this girl will not want anything to do with you if you come off desperate. Even if your not going on dates I would make her think you are. If not then you just look like a guy holding out hope that she will be with you and it makes you look, again, desperate. Girls want a challenge. Quit talking about moving to Houston. That is just dumb.

[Rodey]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

So then where do I stand come august? Play it straight or just swing for the fences and see what happens?

In all honesty I don't know if I could move 1000 miles without her knowing how I feel. It is incredibly dumb. I'm a pussy though, and I like swerving away from confrontation and uncomfortable situations.

Edit: I just need to keep rereading tidwho's post when I start doubting myself.

You shouldn't move 1000 miles there even if she knows how you feel. Look, unless you find work in Houston or want to live there on your own for any reason other than her, I think it's a really dumb idea.

Even if things go well and you start dating, I don't think living together right off the bat is a super great idea.

[aicdmb]

Originally Posted by jen1jeff

First off you need to calm down. There are billions of girls in the world. Why be so obsessed with this one when she has NEVER given you the impression that she wants to be anything but a friend. Feel free to make a move on her in August but if you pour your heart out to her it's going to look like your desperate. Maybe it would be a good idea to try and date another girl where you currently live? I'm telling you that this girl will not want anything to do with you if you come off desperate. Even if your not going on dates I would make her think you are. If not then you just look like a guy holding out hope that she will be with you and it makes you look, again, desperate. Girls want a challenge. Quit talking about moving to Houston. That is just dumb.

Pretty much all of this
All girls I'm friends with have said over and over, desperation is so unattractive

[Speilmen230]

Living together doesn't worry me at all. We've talked about it plenty and both have similar living habits and pet peeves. I think I've probably done of poor job of characterizing our existing relationship. I know I'm one of the closest most consistent friends she has, and she is right there with my Nashville buddy on the top of the totum pole. There isn't a whole lot we don't know about one another. The transition from friends to a relationship would be pretty seamless if all goes according to plan.

I absolutely plan on treating the weekend as a date. I'm gonna make a conscious effort to be 'on.' I plan on turning on as much of my charming, funny, and witty side as possible. As someone else said, if i do my job and she feels anything at all for me there shouldn't be much of a challenge.

I'm never the one to bring up moving to houston is the hard part. It's ALWAYS her. She talked about me moving out to SD when she was still there and now it has switched to Houston. And if the job in Houston doesn't buff out she wants to go to Colorado with me. All of this I was told by her, never have I nudged the notion or pressed the issue.

I actively try to keep the relationship casual only texting her every few days or less and she is usually the one to break the silence.

The whole situation is just frustrating and confusing. I've tried dating other girls here in town and it never buffs out. I always end up comparing them to her and it just shatters the experience because they never stack up.

I talked to my Nashville buddy last night about all this and he agrees that for my own sanity I HAVE to do something about it in August. Its silly to move to her without her knowing. And its pretty fucking silly still even if she does as Rodey said.

Got a busy fucking July ahead of me so thankfully I think I'll be able to compartmentalize my feelings for her for the time being and not hype it so much in my head.

And I'm very calm! Just stressing myself out with internal dialogue and conversations I have with myself trying to make sense of the whole thing and put it into perspective.

[SmoothG]

Move in with your buddy.
Stop comparing girls to her. (Though its natural on some level, youre sabatoging any chance with someone before it really starts).
Go visit her and get her to be your wingman...ask her to set you up with her cute single friends.
Lots of good advice above.
I just feel like youre putting a lot of eggs in this basket and thats tough to do. Move somewhere new with your buddy...youd be amazed how a new, fresh city and point of view changes your perspective. I get that she is a good friend, I just feel based on what I know you keep her as a friend and you move on to some new adventures somewhere and see what happens.

Then again ive moved to other countries for girls so who am I to give advice haha!

[AllifromOhio]

Sounds like she doesn't want to date you, she is simply using you to make herself feel better. Every girl has done it for emotional reasons and every guy has done it to get sex. We all do it, she just keeps doing it to you for a long amount of time.

[bamadavefan15]

What's stopped you from dating in the same town?

[Speilmen230]

Dating her or other girls in the same town?

Mailed out her bday gift tonight. Interested to see how it goes. Just a CD, gift card, and card. Card summed up a lot of my feelings for her, and I wrote a nice little note.

Working on plans to meet up and get a hotel with a chick in Louisville on Friday night. She would drive up from Nashville and I would drive down from cincy. We shall see how that turns out, tinder is a strange world.

[thechad90000]

Had two "dates" last week. One of the girls was dating a friend of mine and they broke up. Now we've always had a thing between us and we randomly decided to meet up for the first time, alone and grab a drink last week. Now I'm not sure if this was a date or not. I bought her a drink, we hung out and that was that but as I said, there always has seemed to be something between us and this is the first time we've ever hung out by ourselves out anywhere. So I have no idea where that is going.

The second girl I took out for a few hours the other night and we had drinks however since then she hasn't responded to texts. No huge deal but it's been a few days. I'm assuming it didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Oh well...that's what beer is for.

[Speilmen230]

Meeting the chick from Nashville in Louisville tonight. Booked a riverview room in Indiana looking over the Louisville Skyline. Should be a good time. She seems really cool.