Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

[sunshower]

You guys have to see this. This is not, and I promise you, a lame fail picture or a lolcat or anything of the sort. It is a real and true analysis of Peter Piper and his peck of picked pickled peppers.

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/image...ywrite/pp1.jpg

[Jake]

Originally Posted by Nick@Night

Because, this isn't religion.

... or is it?



Is Peter Piper "St Peter"? Are the 'pecks of pickled peppers' Jews?


has he 'pecked' them away from Judaism to that new-fangled religion, Christianity?




wow... this conspiracy gets deeper and deeper

[Matt83]

Originally Posted by sunshower

1. Steal pickled peppers on the sidewalk.
2. Immunity.
3. ???
4. Profit.

Fixed.

[ryangibson]

Originally Posted by Jake

or... he's breaking into a place and having a lot of time to get this giant 'peck' of pickled peppers.


maybe he actually works at the warehouse, and it's an inside job.


OR!!!!


as you suggest, Nick@Night... if that is your real name... he had an accomplice.



This whole thing stinks to high heaven.

I'm pretty sure he's un-jarring said peppers before his exit. Much easier to carry a peck of un-jarred peppers than it is to carry jars and all, and much quieter. By definition a piper is one who plays the bagpipe. This is an important piece of evidence. Bagpipes are most commonly found in Scotland, but this doesn't limit Peter to Scottish decent. Another important fact is that not many peppers are indigenous to Scotland. Is it an outside job? Does he travel? Is the fact that Peter is a Piper a lie? The Pied Piper played a flute, and was often portrayed with a following, usually children. This particular Piper hails from Germany, thus throwing another kink in the mystery. And on top of that, this Piper lured children into a cave, never to be seen again. Could these pipers have been the same person? Did the children from Hamelin, Germany live off of stolen pickled peppers?

We may never know the truth.

[Red_41]

Originally Posted by Jake

... or is it?



Is Peter Piper "St Peter"? Are the 'pecks of pickled peppers' Jews?


has he 'pecked' them away from Judaism to that new-fangled religion, Christianity?




wow... this conspiracy gets deeper and deeper

Not to mention the infamous "Nick at Night" character ... who just gave himself away with his reference to religion!

Does Judas not "nick" Jesus at "night" by kissing his cheek to betray him at the last supper ... held AT NIGHT?

Ahhhh HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[thebestauntie]

Best. Thread. Ever.

[Red_41]

Originally Posted by ryangibson

I'm pretty sure he's un-jarring said peppers before his exit. Much easier to carry a peck of un-jarred peppers than it is to carry jars and all, and much quieter. By definition a piper is one who plays the bagpipe. This is an important piece of evidence. Bagpipes are most commonly found in Scotland, but this doesn't limit Peter to Scottish decent. Another important fact is that not many peppers are indigenous to Scotland. Is it an outside job? Does he travel? Is the fact that Peter is a Piper a lie? The Pied Piper played a flute, and was often portrayed with a following, usually children. This particular Piper hails from Germany, thus throwing another kink in the mystery. And on top of that, this Piper lured children into a cave, never to be seen again. Could these pipers have been the same person? Did the children from Hamelin, Germany live off of stolen pickled peppers?

We may never know the truth.

Wise observations indeed my young padawan.

[ryangibson]

Originally Posted by Red_41

Wise observations indeed my young padawan.

My force is strong.

[Jake]

Originally Posted by Red_41

Not to mention the infamous "Nick at Night" character ... who just gave himself away with his reference to religion!

Does Judas not "nick" Jesus at "night" by kissing his cheek to betray him at the last supper ... held AT NIGHT?

Ahhhh HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Oh.... My... (insert Deity/adjective/favorite cheese here)!!!!


I feel like Tom Hanks did in the movie where he found out that the religion was a sham...


I think it was called "Joe vs. The Volcano".

[bigeyedfish190]

You're thinking of Big. He had AIDS, right?

[Jake]

Originally Posted by ryangibson

I'm pretty sure he's un-jarring said peppers before his exit. Much easier to carry a peck of un-jarred peppers than it is to carry jars and all, and much quieter. By definition a piper is one who plays the bagpipe. This is an important piece of evidence. Bagpipes are most commonly found in Scotland, but this doesn't limit Peter to Scottish decent. Another important fact is that not many peppers are indigenous to Scotland. Is it an outside job? Does he travel? Is the fact that Peter is a Piper a lie? The Pied Piper played a flute, and was often portrayed with a following, usually children. This particular Piper hails from Germany, thus throwing another kink in the mystery. And on top of that, this Piper lured children into a cave, never to be seen again. Could these pipers have been the same person? Did the children from Hamelin, Germany live off of stolen pickled peppers?

We may never know the truth.

we can theorize that the heist - of either numerous jar (or pecks) of Pickled Peppers occurred in Germany, or the German lowlands, by a person possibly of Scottish descent, with a musical background in woodwinds, by the name of Peter. Last name either unknown or 'Piper' (Piper may just be his occupation).


He may or may not have had an accomplice.


He may - based on literature - have an influence over children. It is possible that children facilitated this crime.



or, it's all a ruse - and organized religion is just an invention of Nick@Night.

[dmbwadeo]

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

[Jake]

Originally Posted by bigeyedfish190

You're thinking of Big. He had AIDS, right?

no no, that was Bachelor Party

Originally Posted by dmbwadeo

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

if we knew where, we'd be half-way home!



best guess is Germany or Austria - maybe the Czech Republic. It can't be easy to fence that stuff.

[dmbwadeo]

By the way, the banner ad at the top of my page is for canning jars-Peter?

[funktabulous]

Originally Posted by Jake

no no, that was Bachelor Party






if we knew where, we'd be half-way home!



best guess is Germany or Austria - maybe the Czech Republic. It can't be easy to fence that stuff.

[ryangibson]

Originally Posted by Jake

we can theorize that the heist - of either numerous jar (or pecks) of Pickled Peppers occurred in Germany, or the German lowlands, by a person possibly of Scottish descent, with a musical background in woodwinds, by the name of Peter. Last name either unknown or 'Piper' (Piper may just be his occupation).


He may or may not have had an accomplice.


He may - based on literature - have an influence over children. It is possible that children facilitated this crime.



or, it's all a ruse - and organized religion is just an invention of Nick@Night.

All possible, but the theory of children in caves would lead me to believe that this is taking place in either Southern Germany (Alps), Austria, or Switzerland. I'll rule out Liechtenstein, the odds are against this country, due to geographical shortcomings. Chances are, Peter is from Scotland. He was convicted of child molestation in his early 20's. He spent some time in custody, but was released because the political issues of the time made his case seem less important to the elders/judges. He was extradited. With no job, he was forced to steal for his meals. Not unlike his asphyxiation with children, the stealing was largely addictive. He spent some time in Prague, where he studied music for 17 years. He taught a small music class in a town northeast of Prague. His pupils were most often children, which brought out some of his old habits. They are indeed hard to break. He was not imprisoned, but once again was shewed away. This led him to [Germany/Austria/Switzerland] where the stealing and kidnapping took place. False promises of a candy filled magical cave in foothills of the Alps along with the ever luring sounds of his pipes would put the unsuspected children in an unconscious daze. I believe that the children were raped and murdered, and you will not convince me otherwise without a pretty damn good story.

[ryangibson]

Originally Posted by Jake

best guess is Germany or Austria - maybe the Czech Republic. It can't be easy to fence that stuff.

You son of a bitch. You either saw what I was typing before I posted, or you are GUILTY.

[funktabulous]

Originally Posted by ryangibson

He was convicted of child molestation in his early 20's.

So you're telling me he picked some peckers?

[thebestauntie]

Originally Posted by ryangibson

You son of a bitch. You either saw what I was typing before I posted, or you are GUILTY.

Oh. My. Gosh. Jake IS Peter Piper!!

[Jake]

Originally Posted by ryangibson

All possible, but the theory of children in caves would lead me to believe that this is taking place in either Southern Germany (Alps), Austria, or Switzerland. I'll rule out Liechtenstein, the odds are against this country, due to geographical shortcomings. Chances are, Peter is from Scotland. He was convicted of child molestation in his early 20's. He spent some time in custody, but was released because the political issues of the time made his case seem less important to the elders/judges. He was extradited. With no job, he was forced to steal for his meals. Not unlike his asphyxiation with children, the stealing was largely addictive. He spent some time in Prague, where he studied music for 17 years. He taught a small music class in a town northeast of Prague. His pupils were most often children, which brought out some of his old habits. They are indeed hard to break. He was not imprisoned, but once again was shewed away. This led him to [Germany/Austria/Switzerland] where the stealing and kidnapping took place. False promises of a candy filled magical cave in foothills of the Alps along with the ever luring sounds of his pipes would put the unsuspected children in an unconscious daze. I believe that the children were raped and murdered, and you will not convince me otherwise without a pretty damn good story.

hear that? That's the sound of doves crying.



I think we are on the apex of this mystery.



Throw out The Czech Republic - too far east.


If we only knew what the cave children wore, we could figure out if it's Austria, Germany, or Switzerland.


What we need is some sort of police record from Scotland of convicted flute-playing child molesters who traveled to Germany to find cave children and steal.


Unless, as your theory holds, he actually worked in Prague - then we need to find Scottish Nationals living in Prague (as teachers, perhaps) with criminal records for molestation.

[Nick@Night]

Originally Posted by Red_41

Not to mention the infamous "Nick at Night" character ... who just gave himself away with his reference to religion!

Does Judas not "nick" Jesus at "night" by kissing his cheek to betray him at the last supper ... held AT NIGHT?

Ahhhh HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Should I have Jake change my SN to Judas@Night?

[ryangibson]

Originally Posted by Jake

hear that? That's the sound of doves crying.



I think we are on the apex of this mystery.



Throw out The Czech Republic - too far east.


If we only knew what the cave children wore, we could figure out if it's Austria, Germany, or Switzerland.


What we need is some sort of police record from Scotland of convicted flute-playing child molesters who traveled to Germany to find cave children and steal.


Unless, as your theory holds, he actually worked in Prague - then we need to find Scottish Nationals living in Prague (as teachers, perhaps) with criminal records for molestation.

My research tells me that the only remains found in the caves were tiny wooden shoes. I was unable to attain Scottish police record.

[donnyw]

Originally Posted by Jake

Unless, as your theory holds, he actually worked in Prague - then we need to find Scottish Nationals living in Prague (as teachers, perhaps) with criminal records for molestation.

see below...

Originally Posted by john baptiste

i'm the only person with my name in the US. that's why i won't be posting it here. google is good at searching.

Originally Posted by bigeyedfish190

Well, we know you're a teacher, so that narrows it right down.

Originally Posted by john baptiste

shhhhhh

[bigeyedfish190]

Originally Posted by donnyw

see below...

I'm a little lost, but I think I'm nearly caught up. So username John Baptiste is actually Tom Hanks? So who is Tom Hanks?

[Nick@Night]

Originally Posted by bigeyedfish190

I'm a little lost, but I think I'm nearly caught up. So username John Baptiste is actually Tom Hanks? So who is Tom Hanks?

Dave Matthews.

[Jake]

Originally Posted by ryangibson

You son of a bitch. You either saw what I was typing before I posted, or you are GUILTY.

Originally Posted by thebestauntie

Oh. My. Gosh. Jake IS Peter Piper!!

I am not the Kiser Sose of this thread... we all who Nick... er.. is...


wooden shoes screams Holland... maybe the kids were abducted from Holland to the lower part of Germany/Austria?

[donnyw]

Originally Posted by Nick@Night

Dave Matthews.

So then we've concluded that Dave is a child molester? Wow...it all comes full circle.

[gregory311]

I want this Peter, and his pickled peppers, DEAD!

[scrock25]

If Peter Piper ever picked a peck of my pickled fucking peppers I'd hunt him down and kick him in the fucking taint. Then take back all but one peck of my pickled peppers - I'd let him keep one for the trouble and the busted nut I left him with.

[ryangibson]

Originally Posted by Jake

I am not the Kiser Sose of this thread... we all who Nick... er.. is...


wooden shoes screams Holland... maybe the kids were abducted from Holland to the lower part of Germany/Austria?

My thoughts exactly. If he was taking children from southern Germany, and raping and killing them in southern Germany, his chances of being caught are greater. No one knows him in this German town, and the people of Holland are not looking in Germany........

wait a minute...

http://www.gvnet.com/childprostitution/Netherlands.htm

I'll be damned. He might have actually purchased the children with money obtained by the sale of stolen peppers.