it is currently 2 PM, and I am quite surprised I have yet to have a heart/panic/anxiety attack...i am literally freaking the fuck out.
Looooooong story to a short one: i just broke up with my lady partner this past saturday. it was a mutual long-time coming type of thing because our relationship just wasnt working (im an idiot for talking to her at all). so finally we call it quits after a semester of stress and drama.
but what do i wake up to this morning? the worst text imaginable prompting me to immediately call her. the following conversation ensues:
dumbho:
"i think im pregnant."
me: WHAT THE FUCK HOW
dumbho: idk. ive been so sick the past three days, before i even thought about wanting to end things with you. i woke up at 5 AM this morning and had to run to the bathroom to vomit. ive felt sick to my stomach for two days, i keep puking, im more emotional than ever, my tits are tender, and ive been getting menstrual cramps
me: well thank god maybe its just a rough period?
dumbho: no, im on my birth control and my period isnt for two more weeks
me: but if youre on your birth control then how the fuck could you be pregnant? you ARE taking it around the same time EVERY SINGLE DAY like youre supposed to (and like you told me you were), right?
dumbfuckingidiot: .....no. every now and then like i miss a day and take two at once sometimes...im just really bad at keeping on time with it.
me:
dumbcunt: well its probably nothing, theres no need to get so bent out of shape or worried im gonna take a pregnancy test later today.
are you fucking kidding me? first off, i am on adderall right now, and any time something remotely stressfull starts going down its more or less irreversible and it drives me crazy until it is resolved. second off, this girl is so fucking stupid i cant even come up with the words to describe it. she has birth control, told me to stop using condoms, guaranteed me she was taking it correctly, then waits until she thinks shes pregnant to tell me she hadnt been. i hadnt came inside of her, but when you fuck four or five times in a few hours, im sure theres some sperm or two still chillin on my dick that wana crawl their way up her retarded vagina. lastly, and worst of all, she is a christian fuckbag and does not believe in abortion, whether you catch it in 1 week (last time we fucked) or 1 month. she has said before, "if i got pregnant, im having it and keeping it," thus prompting me to get her on the birth control to begin with...and now she pulls this.
so what the fuck do i do!? miss nonchalant cuntasaurus-ex is taking her dandy old fucking time and taking a nap before she gets a pregnancy test, and im stuck in the library bugging the fuck out.
every website i look at that says "first signs of pregnancy" is pointing towards...YOURE FUCKED. i can NOT have a child at 20 years old, let alone with this crazy bitch as a mother. im just going nuts...i dont know what to do until she takes that test; nothing is taking my mind off it.