Dating is miserable

[GSUdawg521]

Originally Posted by seagem1532

i think my profile is pretty clear that i'm looking for a ltr & i was honest w/ the latest guy from the beginning that i wasn't looking for a hookup, but he still took it in that direction. thanks for the input

Originally Posted by cazzie34

Man, some of these girls online are thirsty as hell though (both for relationships or just hooking up). There are just so many weirdos out there that any normal guy that comes along is seen as a godsend.

Yeah unfortunately I think you just gotta play the odds, or at least wade through a bunch of shit like that to find people who really want something serious.

On a girl's end, they're likely getting lots of messages daily and most of them probably are just looking to get some.

On a guy's end, they're one of many other guys going after a girl and has to hope he/his profile impresses enough to start a conversation.

It can be exhausting though, with circumstances like you experienced, where you meet someone, exchange messages, exchange numbers and texts, possibly meet up, and eventually it all falls apart and you have to start all over. Hard to not get discouraged

[cazzie34]

Here's what a girl told me: she doesn't reply to super short messages like "hey, how was your weekend?" and she doesn't reply to super long messages. She replied to me because 1. I don't look like a weirdo. 2. I didn't say weirdo things. and 3. my profile makes it look like I am normal. and 4. I had a normal first message.

I usually do the following:

Greeting, state my name, say something nice about their profile or about them. Ask them a question or two that relates to their profile and/or common interests. State that I look forward to their message.

That's it. Works like a charm.

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by cazzie34

Here's what a girl told me: she doesn't reply to super short messages like "hey, how was your weekend?" and she doesn't reply to super long messages. She replied to me because 1. I don't look like a weirdo. 2. I didn't say weirdo things. and 3. my profile makes it look like I am normal. and 4. I had a normal first message.

I usually do the following:

Greeting, state my name, say something nice about their profile or about them. Ask them a question or two that relates to their profile and/or common interests. State that I look forward to their message.

That's it. Works like a charm.

What's funny is that was how I used to message girls and it never worked. I switched to something like, "Hey there, _name if known_, I'm John. How are you doing tonight?" and sometimes I would add another sentence if they had something in their profile I liked. I actually got more replies that way! I was baffled hahaha.

[Alazais]

Originally Posted by Roose13

What's funny is that was how I used to message girls and it never worked. I switched to something like, "Hey there, _name if known_, I'm John. How are you doing tonight?" and sometimes I would add another sentence if they had something in their profile I liked. I actually got more replies that way! I was baffled hahaha.

This works way more often than something more personal. No idea why.

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by seagem1532

i think my profile is pretty clear that i'm looking for a ltr & i was honest w/ the latest guy from the beginning that i wasn't looking for a hookup, but he still took it in that direction. thanks for the input

I am on a few and would never ever send something like that to someone. Really, who does that? Especially after chatting with you, things are going good, maybe you two are going to meet in person...then they send you a dik pic? Do I have this right?

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by cazzie34

Here's what a girl told me: she doesn't reply to super short messages like "hey, how was your weekend?" and she doesn't reply to super long messages. She replied to me because 1. I don't look like a weirdo. 2. I didn't say weirdo things. and 3. my profile makes it look like I am normal. and 4. I had a normal first message.

I usually do the following:

Greeting, state my name, say something nice about their profile or about them. Ask them a question or two that relates to their profile and/or common interests. State that I look forward to their message.

That's it. Works like a charm.

Originally Posted by Roose13

What's funny is that was how I used to message girls and it never worked. I switched to something like, "Hey there, _name if known_, I'm John. How are you doing tonight?" and sometimes I would add another sentence if they had something in their profile I liked. I actually got more replies that way! I was baffled hahaha.

Great info. I'm not sure I've found my groove here yet.

I keep getting contacted by girls I am not interested in so...sooner or later the right person will come around.

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

I am on a few and would never ever send something like that to someone. Really, who does that? Especially after chatting with you, things are going good, maybe you two are going to meet in person...then they send you a dik pic? Do I have this right?

Same. If a girl wants to see my dick, it better be in person

[seagem1532]

Originally Posted by cazzie34

Man, some of these girls online are thirsty as hell though (both for relationships or just hooking up). There are just so many weirdos out there that any normal guy that comes along is seen as a godsend.

this is so true. there are a lot of weirdos on the sites, so when a guy who seems sane & normal pops up....he's a keeper!

Originally Posted by cazzie34

Here's what a girl told me: she doesn't reply to super short messages like "hey, how was your weekend?" and she doesn't reply to super long messages. She replied to me because 1. I don't look like a weirdo. 2. I didn't say weirdo things. and 3. my profile makes it look like I am normal. and 4. I had a normal first message.

I usually do the following:

Greeting, state my name, say something nice about their profile or about them. Ask them a question or two that relates to their profile and/or common interests. State that I look forward to their message.

That's it. Works like a charm.

your friend is right. i don't respond to short, impersonal messages at all. i've received so many messages where the guy only says "hi" or tells me i'm beautiful. i actually got one today that said "You are just gorgeous! I have such a crush! Would love to get to know you better!!!" It's totally possible that the guy who sent that message was being 100% honest & sincere, but for all I know, he sent that same message to 100 other girls. so, unfortunately, that guy won't be getting a response from me.

i think that i'm equally as likely to respond to long messages as i am to short ones, but it really depends on what the guy says and how he says it. Here's what I look for:

• --if a guy introduces himself to me
• --if a guy can show me that he's read through my profile by sharing that we have at least 1 common interest (besides wanting to find a date/partner), or commenting on something i've written on my profile
• --if a guy can write in complete sentences
• --if a guy appears to be sane or normal based on his profile/message

I realize that's a lot of things to look for, but if a guy can do most of those things, he'll get a response.

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

I am on a few and would never ever send something like that to someone. Really, who does that? Especially after chatting with you, things are going good, maybe you two are going to meet in person...then they send you a dik pic? Do I have this right?

Yes, it goes like this:

• --he sends me a message & i like what i read (see my list above)
• --i respond & we message back & forth a bit
• --things still seem to be going well, so either he gives me his # & i text him, or i offer him my # & he texts me
• --we text back & forth a little bit & he turns the conversation towards sex & a picture of his D shows up
• --he insists that we should meet up
• --i tell him that i'm not interested in a hookup & ignore any more texts from him

so, no...we never meet up in person.

[seagem1532]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Same. If a girl wants to see my dick, it better be in person

yeah, i'd rather see it in person. it's nice having a preview but not after texting on & off for 30 minutes.

[Climb2safety]

If I ever start sending them I'm going to arrange a bunch of doll house furniture in the background.

[seagem1532]

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

If I ever start sending them I'm going to arrange a bunch of doll house furniture in the background.

make sure that you make your pictures extra creepy...maybe have some decapitated doll heads visible. i'm sure that'll definitely attract the ladies

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by seagem1532

Yes, it goes like this:

• --he sends me a message & i like what i read (see my list above)
• --i respond & we message back & forth a bit
• --things still seem to be going well, so either he gives me his # & i text him, or i offer him my # & he texts me
• --we text back & forth a little bit & he turns the conversation towards sex & a picture of his D shows up
• --he insists that we should meat up
• --i tell him that i'm not interested in a hookup & ignore any more texts from him

so, no...we never meat up in person.

Fixed...

[seagem1532]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Fixed...

meet

& you're right...he does insist several times that we get together

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

If I ever start sending them I'm going to arrange a bunch of doll house furniture in the background.

Originally Posted by seagem1532

make sure that you make your pictures extra creepy...maybe have some decapitated doll heads visible. i'm sure that'll definitely attract the ladies

Rest one of the heads on the tip of your manhood. That trick gets me all the ladies every time

[Climb2safety]

Heading to meet someone from eH now for the first time.

[seagem1532]

good luck! let us know how it goes.

[unccrombie]

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

Heading to meet someone from eH now for the first time.

update required

[cazzie34]

One of my coworkers was on eharmony for the free trial. It seemed way too intense. She dropped it after the free trial

OKC has been perfect. A few messages back and forth and then drop your number and say you want to hang out.

[Climb2safety]

Not a bad date at all.

We met at a park, walked around a lake and talked. Then went to a nearby restaurant and had an app and a few beers each.

Solid conversation, variety of topics, laughs were had. I honestly found her getting more attractive as the night went on which was a weird phenomenon, not that she was unattractive to start.

Did not uncover any red flags. I'd see her again I think, but am still going to date other people. The ball is in my court.

I learn so much about what I am looking for and more about myself on each one of these. That in itself is really valuable.

The time to say good bye is so completely awkward.

[GSUdawg521]

Well?


Did you come or what???

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by GSUdawg521

Well?


Did you come or what???

Not even close. 1 hug.

[cazzie34]

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

Not a bad date at all.

We met at a park, walked around a lake and talked. Then went to a nearby restaurant and had an app and a few beers each.

Solid conversation, variety of topics, laughs were had. I honestly found her getting more attractive as the night went on which was a weird phenomenon, not that she was unattractive to start.

Did not uncover any red flags. I'd see her again I think, but am still going to date other people. The ball is in my court.

I learn so much about what I am looking for and more about myself on each one of these. That in itself is really valuable.

The time to say good bye is so completely awkward.

I think the bolded helps with that.

[Alazais]

Date #2 with The Stripper tonight. She's coming over for dinner (Pork Tenderloin, my specialty) and loves Mumford & Sons. I'm going to make the foods and then sing the songs and then give her MY pork tenderloin! HEY-OH!

[dmbetc]

I would never date a stripper.

[GSUdawg521]

She poppin she rollin she rollin
She climbin that pole and


She trippin she playin she playin
I'm not goin nowhere girl I'm stayin

[seagem1532]

progressed from texting to talking on the phone w/ a guy i met on okc. so far the guy seems normal...normal profile...normal texts...he hasn't sent me any pics of his manhood. he seems funny & sweet, and actually seems like he's looking for a relationship (not a hook up). things might be looking up!

[thechad90000]

I realized that I never updated my story about the hypochondriac who hadn't had sex in ten years. I broke it off with her. Shortly afterward. Better that way.


Other than that no news. Good job to all the people going on dates with online meets. Glad to know I'm not the only one doing that shit.

[Alazais]

Date #2 with ol' Strips McGee went well. She's actually quite cool. I made some dinner last night, played her some songs. She loved them, we hung around and shot the shit and watched a movie, Well we watched about half the movie. the other half we spent most of the time making out. No sexy time though. I think she's trying very hard to be more than a stripper in our interactions (thus she's taking things slower than normal etc). I'm fine with it, she's cool and fun to be around. She likes the same kind of music as I do and is generally just pretty cool. She only has a month left of stripping and then her license expires. It turns out you have to have a license in Canada to strip - then she goes back to school for something. Since she's going back to school I assume this has some kind of shelf life, but until then... WEE!

I'm away at a cottage all weekend but we're going to set something up when I get back. I'm not sure what yet, but i'll have a look and see what's going on in the city.

[cry_minarets458]

you can take the girl out of the stripper but you can't take the stripper out of the girl...there is no license expiration when it comes to stripping

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

you can take the girl out of the stripper but you can't take the stripper out of the girl...there is no license expiration when it comes to stripping

I'd say 28 years old is a reasonable expiration date.