Commencement Speaker To Students: "You are not special"

[thebridge15]

^ formatted. By Mary Schmidt, in the Chicago Tribute in 1997.

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

[GoLdpHiShDMB]

Originally Posted by cruscott35

I can tell you for certain that this thread isn't special.

Do you enjoy being a stupid asshole?

[junior94]

Originally Posted by thebridge15

^ formatted. By Mary Schmidt, in the Chicago Tribute in 1997.

Hang on, am I remembering correctly that Baz Luhrmann was actually connected to that "song" in some way?

[thebridge15]

Yes, you are.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wear_Sunscreen

[justink]

Originally Posted by junior94

Hang on, am I remembering correctly that Baz Luhrmann was actually connected to that "song" in some way?

he really needs to put out another movie, quick.

[junior94]

Originally Posted by justink

he really needs to put out another movie, quick.

err, not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. He's got the new Gatsby adaptation with Dicaprio.

[Bafugama]

This guy's a blowhard. Congratulations on getting on the news -- There's no reason to do this outside of personal glory. Now he'll live in infamy as literally the only commencement speaker that graduates will remember as as 'that asshole'.

[TwoStep2888]

Originally Posted by thebridge15

^ formatted. By Mary Schmidt, in the Chicago Tribute in 1997.

this one's actually good

[justink]

Originally Posted by junior94

err, not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. He's got the new Gatsby adaptation with Dicaprio.

really? was not aware...

[pmcox3333]

Great fucking speech.

[Robin Pecknold]

Originally Posted by Bafugama

This guy's a blowhard. Congratulations on getting on the news -- There's no reason to do this outside of personal glory. Now he'll live in infamy as literally the only commencement speaker that graduates will remember as as 'that asshole'.

you clearly didnt read or watch the speech, or the comment saying it was well received and that he is a well liked teacher at the school. your parents must have told you that reading the headline was good enough

[TwoStep2888]

Shut the fuck up Robin Pecknold

[Bafugama]

Originally Posted by Robin Pecknold

you clearly didnt read or watch the speech, or the comment saying it was well received and that he is a well liked teacher at the school. your parents must have told you that reading the headline was good enough

Incorrect. I made an informed decision after weighing my thoughts on the speech after watching it. Surprisingly enough, just because I feel differently from you does not mean my opinion is uneducated or uninformed. How dare you say that with no base. Asshole.

[Carbon Copy]

Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

[Beebz]

Originally Posted by Bafugama

This guy's a blowhard. Congratulations on getting on the news -- There's no reason to do this outside of personal glory. Now he'll live in infamy as literally the only commencement speaker that graduates will remember as as 'that asshole'.

Yeah, this.

Also, D. Simon's speech last month pretty much owns. Typical D. Simon.

http://davidsimon.com/graduation-rem...e-high-school/

[AJF_41]

Originally Posted by Bafugama

This guy's a blowhard. Congratulations on getting on the news -- There's no reason to do this outside of personal glory. Now he'll live in infamy as literally the only commencement speaker that graduates will remember as as 'that asshole'.

Originally Posted by Bafugama

Incorrect. I made an informed decision after weighing my thoughts on the speech after watching it. Surprisingly enough, just because I feel differently from you does not mean my opinion is uneducated or uninformed. How dare you say that with no base. Asshole.

i haven't seen you around much...

[TwoStep2888]

Originally Posted by Beebz

Yeah, this.

Also, D. Simon's speech last month pretty much owns. Typical D. Simon.

http://davidsimon.com/graduation-rem...e-high-school/

[cpxc.]

his dad is one of my favorite authors.

[Roose13]

Glossed it because I'm at work but I'll fully read it later. Looks like a good speech that I'm sure will get misread by idiots. Kudos to him for telling it like it is.

[TwoStep2888]

Telling It Like It Is
The Pussification of America
unironically posting Neal Boortz


this thread is like stupid bullshit bingo!

[thechad90000]

Was there anything wrong with anything he said?

[AlpineValley804]

Originally Posted by AlpineValley804

Awesome speech. Fully expect to see this get lambasted by Bill O'Reilly without him actually watching the speech.

Well, I called this one wrong big time.

[Robin Pecknold]

Originally Posted by TwoStep2888

Shut the fuck up Robin Pecknold

[TwoStep2888]

Originally Posted by Robin Pecknold

Cool bunp