Dating is miserable

[Alazais]

I went and got a check up today on my junk. I want to do the no rubber sexy tango with the new girlfriend. I've done a lot of the sexing and while I get tested regularly It had been 6 months ish. So in order for us to bone freely I need to get it checked out. I found out today that you don't have to get the swab shoved down your pee hole unless your afraid you actually have something. the difference between a urine sample and a swab is like 1.0%. That shit is crazy to me. Getting a swab down the pee hole is the worst. The worst.

[unccrombie]

Originally Posted by Alazais

I went and got a check up today on my junk. I want to do the no rubber sexy tango with the new girlfriend. I've done a lot of the sexing and while I get tested regularly It had been 6 months ish. So in order for us to bone freely I need to get it checked out. I found out today that you don't have to get the swab shoved down your pee hole unless your afraid you actually have something. the difference between a urine sample and a swab is like 1.0%. That shit is crazy to me. Getting a swab down the pee hole is the worst. The worst.

swab is for HPV?

[Alazais]

From what the doctor told me, it tests for the same thing as the urine sample. It just has a 1.0% better accuracy. Urine Sample is 98. something percent and swab is 99. something percent. So the difference, especially if it's a just a regular check up and not a "things are oozing from my person" type check up, is negligible.

[cry_minarets458]

Yup No need to swab for gc/chlamydia unless you actually have discharge.

In other news, the part of my year that I've been dreading is about to begin. I have to work with my ex for the next 7ish weeks with a 2 week break for holiday in the middle. She's been begging me back and apologizing but I feel so detached. She's always the first to initiate convo via text or phone and I'm never concerned with getting back to her in a timely manner. We summed last week when we got back to school (let's face it, the sex used to be good) and she was totally into it...but I was not. Zero fucks were given....aside from the literal fucking that was given. Maybe these 7 weeks won't be that bad after all. It helps that she's a mess still.

[Rodey]

What's your end game?

I think you're playing with fire big time if you have no intention of getting back together and you continue to sum with her.

[thechad90000]

Originally Posted by Rodey

What's your end game?

I think you're playing with fire big time if you have no intention of getting back together and you continue to sum with her.

Especially if she wants to.

[cry_minarets458]

Idk what my end game is. I think that shows the level of detachment I'm at. And detached sex is usually just to wreck whatever you're summing, and that always makes me feel better about myself lol

I'm finally in a position of power though.

[TrampledUnderw.]

Hey guys I need some advice because I'm at a total loss here. Here's some back story. So I've been seeing this girl all semester and every time we hook up we haven't gone below the belt. Basically its just make out sessions in our underwear bottoms. I thought she was just uncomfortable with going any further so I never pushed the issue, until last night when I tried to. She stopped me immediately and said she was on her period. The next morning we went out for breakfast and she told me the real reason was because she's positive for hpv from her previous long-term relationship. I really don't know what to do. I really care about her and I'm not the type to easily develop feelings for someone so it's actually kind of a big deal. She was a nervous wreck when she told me and I'd feel like such an asshole if I dropped her. I don't think anyone other than myself knows this about her

[TrampledUnderw.]

I have nothing but respect for her for stopping me and it took huge courage for her to tell someone. She really begged me not to think any less of her and of course I do not. Our relationship is nothing compared to her health and hopefully this will leave her system with no ill-effects

[headlessnancie]

Originally Posted by TrampledUnderw.

Hey guys I need some advice because I'm at a total loss here. Here's some back story. So I've been seeing this girl all semester and every time we hook up we haven't gone below the belt. Basically its just make out sessions in our underwear bottoms. I thought she was just uncomfortable with going any further so I never pushed the issue, until last night when I tried to. She stopped me immediately and said she was on her period. The next morning we went out for breakfast and she told me the real reason was because she's positive for hpv from her previous long-term relationship. I really don't know what to do. I really care about her and I'm not the type to easily develop feelings for someone so it's actually kind of a big deal. She was a nervous wreck when she told me and I'd feel like such an asshole if I dropped her. I don't think anyone other than myself knows this about her

So is it the actual HPV that you're worried about? HPV isn't necessarily a deal breaker. Do you know what tests she has taken for it? 80% of sexually active women will contract HPV so there's a good chance that this isn't the first time you would have come into contact with it. I have friends who have/had it who lead normal relationships and who did not need to worry about in the future nor did they have to contact anyone in their past about it.

[AllifromOhio]

If you can see past it, it will let her know that you do care about her and aren't just in it for sex. Just wear protection and I think you'll be fine. Hell, you're going to be a doctor, you know this.

[TrampledUnderw.]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

If you can see past it, it will let her know that you do care about her and aren't just in it for sex. Just wear protection and I think you'll be fine. Hell, you're going to be a doctor, you know this.

I made that clear to her. Yeah I just didn't immediately know how to react because its never happened before. Its not a big deal at all.

[smokew11]

pretty much everyone has HPV. not a deal breaker.

tell her you really care about her and you want to get more information with her. Go to the school Dr together so you can both get more educated

[Rodey]

At least it's not the herp!

But really, good on her to let you know about it. There are a lot of people who would never bring that up/have a conversation about it.

[dmbmuskie]

All adventurous woman do

[Rodey]

Finals week for my girlfriend, which means I probably won't see her until she's done next Tuesday.

Don't date law students if you have no patience. If you're like me and do, prepare to be tested

[Climb2safety]

You could just be friends and find someone else. this is not some test of your character dude.

I'd say, whatever you do, don't catch hpv from her and then decide afterwards you want to move on. I would give the relationship a lot of extra time and be sure about what you want.

Yeah, a lot of people have it but I'm guessing not many got it voluntarily.

[Tiduwho]

If it were the herp, I'd actually be concerned about summing. HPV? Eh, just be safe with it. If you are deeply interested in her, then go for it.

It's clearly a sense of shame and embarrassment for her. After telling you, she's probably worrying that you are now getting ready to dump her, and that she will never find anyone ever etc etc girl thinking.

I'm sure she's uncomfortable and feels dirty or inadequate. Shitty situation but not that bad.

[AlpineValley804]

So I've been working at an Amazon warehouse for a little over a month now and there is a very cute girl that I've been really starting to crush hard on in the last couple weeks. Thing is, she does hold a supervisor position, but it's in a different department than my own (ie I really don't work under her authority at all. I don't report to her nor would she discipline me if there were ever a work performance issue). I very, very much want to ask her out, but I am a bit hesitant to do so as an hourly associate. What's been people's general experience here with asking a co-worker out who was higher up in the company, and better yet, anyone here ever work at Amazon and been in or know of a similar situation? As far as I can recall, I didn't see any stated policy about dating between associates and management (I am assuming it's a no-no if it's within the same department), but I would love to hear some advice on the best way to approach this.

And before anyone says "stay away from work relationships altogether"...that advice is appreciated, but I emphatically do not want to let this one slide by without giving it a shot.

[rconverse]

Originally Posted by AlpineValley804

So I've been working at an Amazon warehouse for a little over a month now and there is a very cute girl that I've been really starting to crush hard on in the last couple weeks. Thing is, she does hold a supervisor position, but it's in a different department than my own (ie I really don't work under her authority at all. I don't report to her nor would she discipline me if there were ever a work performance issue). I very, very much want to ask her out, but I am a bit hesitant to do so as an hourly associate. What's been people's general experience here with asking a co-worker out who was higher up in the company, and better yet, anyone here ever work at Amazon and been in or know of a similar situation? As far as I can recall, I didn't see any stated policy about dating between associates and management (I am assuming it's a no-no if it's within the same department), but I would love to hear some advice on the best way to approach this.

And before anyone says "stay away from work relationships altogether"...that advice is appreciated, but I emphatically do not want to let this one slide by without giving it a shot.

That's the point. That's what makes taking that advice so difficult. Still the correct advice, imo.

[Alazais]

^ Tough to be in a committed relationship with someone you work with.


I spoke last week (or a few weeks ago) about moving in with your partner. It looks like the lady and I are having more serious conversations about getting a place together.

Emotionally, I'm fine with it. I feel comfortable with the idea and don't really have to many reservations. Socially I feel weird about it. When I think of other relationships (and this is likely the main issue - I'm comparing) and people move in together early in the relationship, I judge them negatively like they're crazy. Then I think to myself is it to soon?
I don't feel like it is. I'm comfortable with the idea. We essentially spend every night together anyways, but It has only been a few months. By the time we get a place it'll be around the 6 month mark but it still, socially speaking, comes across as strange.

Thoughts?

[Climb2safety]

There are a ton of couples at my work.

My advice Alpine: the hardest part is getting the non work communication going and getting to where you are planning in work or after work time together.

Lunch or breaks I think is the first step. Start trying to take it at the same time, the n next thing you know you are coordinating them together.

Plan a happy hour and invite her. Some of us are going for drinks Thursday if you'd like to join.... Make sure to give a few days advanced notice. May have to go without her a few times but keep at it and focus on the long game.

Volunteering together is also a great chance.

[dmbetc]

Originally Posted by Alazais

^ Tough to be in a committed relationship with someone you work with.


I spoke last week (or a few weeks ago) about moving in with your partner. It looks like the lady and I are having more serious conversations about getting a place together.

Emotionally, I'm fine with it. I feel comfortable with the idea and don't really have to many reservations. Socially I feel weird about it. When I think of other relationships (and this is likely the main issue - I'm comparing) and people move in together early in the relationship, I judge them negatively like they're crazy. Then I think to myself is it to soon?
I don't feel like it is. I'm comfortable with the idea. We essentially spend every night together anyways, but It has only been a few months. By the time we get a place it'll be around the 6 month mark but it still, socially speaking, comes across as strange.

Thoughts?

Socially speaking meaning you are worried about what people will think? Who gives a shit. Ultimately if you feel it is time and you want to move in with her, then do it.

[cry_minarets458]

As long as your dick is getting wet, who the fuck cares what people think

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by Alazais

^ Tough to be in a committed relationship with someone you work with.


I spoke last week (or a few weeks ago) about moving in with your partner. It looks like the lady and I are having more serious conversations about getting a place together.

Emotionally, I'm fine with it. I feel comfortable with the idea and don't really have to many reservations. Socially I feel weird about it. When I think of other relationships (and this is likely the main issue - I'm comparing) and people move in together early in the relationship, I judge them negatively like they're crazy. Then I think to myself is it to soon?
I don't feel like it is. I'm comfortable with the idea. We essentially spend every night together anyways, but It has only been a few months. By the time we get a place it'll be around the 6 month mark but it still, socially speaking, comes across as strange.

Thoughts?

Sounds like you have reservations which is fine. Don't rush it, give it another 6 mos.

What's the harm, your having fun, things are good, keep it going.

Moving in after 6 months is quick I would think. Not that it won't work but no harm in waiting and being more sure.

[Rodey]

There is no such thing as a socially acceptable time frame for that kind of thing. It is completely dependent on your relationship. You say you don't feel like it's too soon, so do it.

Not to mention, I feel like living together is something you have to do anyway before you know if it will work.

[scrock25]

Originally Posted by Rodey

There is no such thing as a socially acceptable time frame for that kind of thing. It is completely dependent on your relationship. You say you don't feel like it's too soon, so do it.

Not to mention, I feel like living together is something you have to do anyway before you know if it will work.

This is the biggest crock of shit over-generalization of this generation.

[Alazais]

Originally Posted by dmbetc

Socially speaking meaning you are worried about what people will think? Who gives a shit. Ultimately if you feel it is time and you want to move in with her, then do it.

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

Sounds like you have reservations which is fine. Don't rush it, give it another 6 mos.

What's the harm, your having fun, things are good, keep it going.

Moving in after 6 months is quick I would think. Not that it won't work but no harm in waiting and being more sure.

Sorry - I meant more along the lines of anytime someone would tell me there moving in with their significant other and it was anything before 8 months, I would think that it was really quick. So I'm trying to gauge my reaction to other people moving in together and use that as a metric for how I feel about it.

It's not that I have reservations as far as my relationship with her goes. I feel fine about that. I think thats the part that scares me. That and what I wrote above.

[dmbetc]

If you don't think you are ready, then don't. You should be excited to move in with your significant other, if you're not then give it more time. There's no time frame. My longest relationship (to date) was with someone who I moved in with after 2 months or so. It's something only you will know when you are ready.

[Alazais]

Conversation came up again last night. We're going to have a sit down talk in the new year about the logistics, expectations and what we want to do going forward. I think it's a good idea to actually sit down and has things out. Will update in the new year what we want to do... Geez, Remember the days when I just slept around a ton? Simpler times.

Also, a lot of my female friends I've slept with. It has to be weird for her. Last Friday for example we were at a bar with like 9 of us. 4 women were there and three I'd slept with (including my girlfriend). I don't think much of it, but is this an issue for most women?