The Out of Context Thread - Antsmarching.org Forums - Dave Matthews Band Discussion
Old 03-12-2015, 07:11 AM   #1
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The Out of Context Thread

Terribly bored today, so here's a thread. Have you heard anything strange out of context lately?

Overheard as I walked by the kitchen at work: "Hah, yeah that'd be a big titty sword. Better be careful."

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
The point is wash the produce.
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  • Old 03-12-2015, 07:26 AM   #2
    thom hudson
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say...it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiian sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiian happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie. Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.
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    Old 03-12-2015, 07:30 AM   #3
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/nswgo.gif
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    The point is wash the produce.
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    Old 03-12-2015, 07:46 AM   #4
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    What in the actual fuck
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    Old 03-12-2015, 07:48 AM   #5
    socopithy
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by M. Steng View Post
    What in the actual fuck
    your avatar gets me every time.
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    The point is wash the produce.
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    Old 03-12-2015, 07:59 AM   #6
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    And thats how I beat AIDS
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    Old 03-12-2015, 08:02 AM   #7
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by thom hudson View Post
    Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say...it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiian sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiian happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie. Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.
    Dude WTF
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    Old 03-12-2015, 08:06 AM   #8
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by scrock25 View Post
    Dude WTF
    i think you're taking it completely out of context
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    Old 03-12-2015, 08:31 AM   #9
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by thom hudson View Post
    i think you're taking it completely out of context
    I get it.
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    Old 03-12-2015, 11:01 AM   #10
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    one of my best friends back home and his girlfriend took my cat when i moved, but nobody else in the building (theres 2 other apartments) knows they have a cat now. most of their apartment doesn't connect to either of the others except for a hallway and their laundry room that shares a wall with one of the apartments. anything that is said in close proximity to this wall can be heard on the other said. one day the cat had an accident and pooped on the carpet in the living room instead of in her litter box that is in the bathroom. when my friend found the poop, he went to say something to the cat, who he talks to like a person. he found her in the hallway and he scolded the cat, saying fairly loudly "we don't poop on the carpet. we poop in the bathroom."

    keep in mind, the girls in the apartment on the other side of the wall who could easily hear anything said only know my friend and his girlfriend live in the apartment and have no clue there is a cat.
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    Old 03-24-2015, 11:15 AM   #11
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    The microphone, obviously. Do you expect them to hear your ejaculate through the speaker on your phone?
    Amateur interview mistake.
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    The point is wash the produce.
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    Old 03-24-2015, 11:20 AM   #12
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    That wasn't said out of context though. And you're quoting yourself
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dave Matthews
    I definitely want people to walk away feeling like, "That was almost cool."
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    Old 03-24-2015, 11:21 AM   #13
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by socopithy View Post
    Amateur interview mistake.
    Ear goo!!
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    Old 03-24-2015, 11:24 AM   #14
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jsc6545 View Post
    That wasn't said out of context though. And you're quoting yourself
    Listen you, this is my thread, and I make the rules.
    n/s

    When I read it, I thought, "This would be hilarious out of context." So there it is.
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    The point is wash the produce.
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    Old 03-24-2015, 11:50 AM   #15
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by thom hudson View Post
    Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say...it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiian sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiian happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie. Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.


    oh lord
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    Old 03-24-2015, 12:09 PM   #16
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    Re: The Out of Context Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by thom hudson View Post
    Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say...it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiian sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiian happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie. Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.


    yes.
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ewingjb View Post
    Wow guys, I wasn't at this show, but just listened to your Halloween. Damn, raw AF! I bet it was incredible live, Timmys outro was bad-ass!!!! Gotta listen to the rest of this show, setlist is on point.
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