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Old 09-14-2014, 06:02 PM   #46051
thechad90000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
I have/had only been on it a few months, but I didn't mind it. I mean, isn't approaching a girl at the bar pretty much all about her looks and how smooth you can talk to her?

I see your point, for sure, but I didn't find it that bad. There are definitely pros and cons to it.
Yeah but you still have that personal interaction when doing that. I don't know. I'm probably just jaded with the whole experience. I'll probably eventually reactivate my dating profiles.
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  • Old 09-15-2014, 08:45 PM   #46052
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    No I am not the dude that immigrated to Canada, I canceled on the one that didn't sound as fun as the other, but the one I met did not look like her pictures. online dating does kinda suck.
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    Old Yesterday, 09:39 AM   #46053
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    Alright, I feel dumb about this, but I feel like everyone in here has made a dumb post before, so I don't care. :lol

    I'm over here causing myself some anxiety. Like, everything has gone really well with this girl, I'd say. But, embarrassingly, since I've been in my own head so much lately, I checked Match and saw that she appeared to still be checking it out regularly. No quarrels, really, we're not an official thing. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit disappointing. If she was into me, she wouldn't be checking, right?

    In turn, now I'm stressing about whether to bring up the fact that I'm not dating/planning to date anyone as long as we're hanging out. I'm admittedly scared of her responding by letting me know I'm not option one. Why? I'm never option one. Seriously. Never. But we've gone out four times, have had some intimacy and she joked once (after forgetting if we had had a discussion about a topic) that her forgetfulness makes it seem like she's dating a bunch of dudes. Which she then said clearly not, because she couldn't remember details about one. So maybe that's the truth? Maybe I am option one?

    All I know is this dating shit can make you go insane. Like, I need to know because I can't be one of many options. But at the same time I don't want to bring it up and risk screwing shit up.

    Okay, I'm done. That felt good. :lol
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    Old Yesterday, 09:48 AM   #46054
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Alright, I feel dumb about this, but I feel like everyone in here has made a dumb post before, so I don't care.

    I'm over here causing myself some anxiety. Like, everything has gone really well with this girl, I'd say. But, embarrassingly, since I've been in my own head so much lately, I checked Match and saw that she appeared to still be checking it out regularly. No quarrels, really, we're not an official thing. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit disappointing. If she was into me, she wouldn't be checking, right?

    In turn, now I'm stressing about whether to bring up the fact that I'm not dating/planning to date anyone as long as we're hanging out. I'm admittedly scared of her responding by letting me know I'm not option one. Why? I'm never option one. Seriously. Never. But we've gone out four times, have had some intimacy and she joked once (after forgetting if we had had a discussion about a topic) that her forgetfulness makes it seem like she's dating a bunch of dudes. Which she then said clearly not, because she couldn't remember details about one. So maybe that's the truth? Maybe I am option one?

    All I know is this dating shit can make you go insane. Like, I need to know because I can't be one of many options. But at the same time I don't want to bring it up and risk screwing shit up.

    Okay, I'm done. That felt good.
    I wouldn't get too caught up if she's still on Match checking things out right now. 4 dates really isn't all that many. You just have to accept the fact that at the beginning stages of dating, she may be hanging out with more than just you. That being said if it's really bothering you that much and you feel like you want to make it an exclusive thing (and have her make it one too) then you should tell her. If she says no then it's not really like it was going to work out in the first place because you want two different things.
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    Old Yesterday, 10:04 AM   #46055
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Alright, I feel dumb about this, but I feel like everyone in here has made a dumb post before, so I don't care.

    I'm over here causing myself some anxiety. Like, everything has gone really well with this girl, I'd say. But, embarrassingly, since I've been in my own head so much lately, I checked Match and saw that she appeared to still be checking it out regularly. No quarrels, really, we're not an official thing. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit disappointing. If she was into me, she wouldn't be checking, right?

    In turn, now I'm stressing about whether to bring up the fact that I'm not dating/planning to date anyone as long as we're hanging out. I'm admittedly scared of her responding by letting me know I'm not option one. Why? I'm never option one. Seriously. Never. But we've gone out four times, have had some intimacy and she joked once (after forgetting if we had had a discussion about a topic) that her forgetfulness makes it seem like she's dating a bunch of dudes. Which she then said clearly not, because she couldn't remember details about one. So maybe that's the truth? Maybe I am option one?

    All I know is this dating shit can make you go insane. Like, I need to know because I can't be one of many options. But at the same time I don't want to bring it up and risk screwing shit up.

    Okay, I'm done. That felt good.
    I wouldn't beat yourself up. Is she already pot-committed on paying for X amount of months? If so, I'd be checking too if I already paid for those months.

    I checked websites for about a month after I started dating the current girl I was seeing. I did this for a few reasons. 1, people were messaging me so I wanted to see what they said and if I'd be interested. 2, I didn't want to jump in all the way with the person I was seeing. I normally fall hard for girls so I wanted to keep a little distance. That was a good way to do it even though I wasn't going on dates with anyone else.

    She could be into you and still checking for lots of reasons. I wouldn't worry too much.
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    Old Yesterday, 10:13 AM   #46056
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    I'm not sure if it's the fact that she's on there or just that it makes me need to know even more where things are. But I'm hesitant to bring it up.

    I was planning on just saying where I was, but I feel hesitant to do that. Like, if she's still actively browsing is she going to be freaked to hear that I'm not planning on seeing anyone else while I see her?
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    Old Yesterday, 10:16 AM   #46057
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    I'm not sure if it's the fact that she's on there or just that it makes me need to know even more where things are. But I'm hesitant to bring it up.

    I was planning on just saying where I was, but I feel hesitant to do that. Like, if she's still actively browsing is she going to be freaked to hear that I'm not planning on seeing anyone else while I see her?
    Do not even hint that your kind of creeping on her Match activity.

    You're over thinking. Tell her where you are. That's the only thing that will clear your head. I think that's perfectly fine after 4 or 5 dates.
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    Old Yesterday, 10:28 AM   #46058
    Rodey
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    I didn't mean bringing up the creeping. :lol
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    Old Yesterday, 10:35 AM   #46059
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    I didn't mean bringing up the creeping. :lol
    Haha okay good.
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    Old Yesterday, 11:35 AM   #46060
    Rodey
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    Which makes more sense? Just telling her where I'm at or asking her if she's dating anyone else? Or both?

    She's a pretty busy person, so I can imagine her saying, "I don't have time to date more than one" and I would have no idea how to read into that.

    Guess I should just stop speculating and out it out there.
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    Old Yesterday, 11:37 AM   #46061
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Alright, I feel dumb about this, but I feel like everyone in here has made a dumb post before, so I don't care.

    I'm over here causing myself some anxiety. Like, everything has gone really well with this girl, I'd say. But, embarrassingly, since I've been in my own head so much lately, I checked Match and saw that she appeared to still be checking it out regularly. No quarrels, really, we're not an official thing. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit disappointing. If she was into me, she wouldn't be checking, right?

    In turn, now I'm stressing about whether to bring up the fact that I'm not dating/planning to date anyone as long as we're hanging out. I'm admittedly scared of her responding by letting me know I'm not option one. Why? I'm never option one. Seriously. Never. But we've gone out four times, have had some intimacy and she joked once (after forgetting if we had had a discussion about a topic) that her forgetfulness makes it seem like she's dating a bunch of dudes. Which she then said clearly not, because she couldn't remember details about one. So maybe that's the truth? Maybe I am option one?

    All I know is this dating shit can make you go insane. Like, I need to know because I can't be one of many options. But at the same time I don't want to bring it up and risk screwing shit up.

    Okay, I'm done. That felt good.
    *uncomfortable silence*
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by opshannon View Post
    You're right about the shift to the right that the board took after it reopened. And it's not even thoughtful righties, it's talk radio righties. Got no patience for them whatsoever. We'll see. Maybe I'll see what I can tolerate.
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    Old Yesterday, 11:40 AM   #46062
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Which makes more sense? Just telling her where I'm at or asking her if she's dating anyone else? Or both?

    She's a pretty busy person, so I can imagine her saying, "I don't have time to date more than one" and I would have no idea how to read into that.

    Guess I should just stop speculating and out it out there.
    Tell her where you are at. Stop worrying where she is.
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    Old Yesterday, 11:59 AM   #46063
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Which makes more sense? Just telling her where I'm at or asking her if she's dating anyone else? Or both?

    She's a pretty busy person, so I can imagine her saying, "I don't have time to date more than one" and I would have no idea how to read into that.

    Guess I should just stop speculating and out it out there.

    Don't say anything at all. Just have fun and quit worrying so much. At this pace she's going to sense your insecurity and then it will be over.
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    Old Yesterday, 12:30 PM   #46064
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Which makes more sense? Just telling her where I'm at or asking her if she's dating anyone else? Or both?

    She's a pretty busy person, so I can imagine her saying, "I don't have time to date more than one" and I would have no idea how to read into that.

    Guess I should just stop speculating and out it out there.
    Stop worrying where she is. Either tell her where you're at, or get the fuck over it.

    Grow up.
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    I drank a shit ton of Mexicolas the other night and ate 5 Krispy Kreme donuts and a glass of milk. I threw up 2 hours later.
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    Old Yesterday, 12:54 PM   #46065
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Coker View Post
    Stop worrying where she is. Either tell her where you're at, or get the fuck over it.

    Grow up.

    :lol

    Fuck you, Drew.
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    Old Yesterday, 01:47 PM   #46066
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sbuzzz View Post
    Tell her where you are at. Stop worrying where she is.
    Yup, this.

    You can only be responsible for your feelings and actions. You tell her where your're at and she either agrees to date exclusively or she tells you she wants to see other people and you take it from there.

    Your're just going to keep beating yourself up if you don't have a conversation about it. Trying to anyalze anyone, especially females, is just a waste of time and will drive you mad.
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    Old Yesterday, 02:27 PM   #46067
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I remember dealing with those head games Rodey.

    When you have the convo be direct. So don't "ask her where she's at" BC she will probably just say a generic she likes where things are going.

    So tell her that you'd like to try going exclusive. See what she says. Don't drop any info about yourself amd whether you've been on dates or not. Just leave her to wonder. What matters is that now you want to try going exclusive and see how it goes.

    It doesn't guarantee she won't lie, but having her say it out loud will do wonders for your psyche.

    Either way, checking match may continue to happen. That's a separate conversation for later after you've been exclusive for a while. Remember, girls get messages all the time. She might just be logging into read them. Doesn't necessarily mean she's going on dates with any of those guys.
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    Old Yesterday, 02:38 PM   #46068
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Oh and definitely have this conversation in person. I wouldn't even hint at anything until then.

    Some people are already good at avoiding topics and conversations, the last thing you want to do is have her Ghost on you. You'll be living in your head big time if that happens
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    Old Yesterday, 02:40 PM   #46069
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    Yeah, definitely doing it in person. Definitely haven't tipped my cards either. Despite what my melt in here may otherwise indicate :lol
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    Old Yesterday, 08:47 PM   #46070
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Interested to see how this turns out. Good luck, bud!
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by opshannon View Post
    You're right about the shift to the right that the board took after it reopened. And it's not even thoughtful righties, it's talk radio righties. Got no patience for them whatsoever. We'll see. Maybe I'll see what I can tolerate.
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    Old Yesterday, 10:41 PM   #46071
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rconverse View Post
    Interested to see how this turns out. Good luck, bud!
    I am pretty sure after my hijacking of the thread, everyone hopes it goes poorly to see the ensuing melt.
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    Old Yesterday, 10:52 PM   #46072
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    I am pretty sure after my hijacking of the thread, everyone hopes it goes poorly to see the ensuing melt. :lol
    Lol that's just me and chad
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    Old Today, 12:01 AM   #46073
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jen1jeff View Post
    Don't say anything at all. Just have fun and quit worrying so much. At this pace she's going to sense your insecurity and then it will be over.
    I would definitely go with this Rodey. You're flipping a coin by bringing this up. Insecurity is the number killer on the dating scene.

    Just play it cool and just let things flow naturally. Don't over analyze and just be yourself and BE CONFIDENT. Not cocky over confident but be confident in yourself man. Don't show insecurity especially this early on. Women are very good at over assuming and blowing things out of proportion.

    So just play it and don't worry. Become your Ness. Become the Rodeness.
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    Are you serious??
    Fucking internet

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    Old Today, 12:14 AM   #46074
    Rodey
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    Is saying where I'm at a sign of insecurity, though? Obviously the stuff I have mentioned in here is, but that is just me venting my thoughts. It may be hard for people in here to believe, but I have not been insecure or nervous on the dates. I feel very relaxed and comfortable.

    Is confidently expressing where I stand, a sign of insecurity?
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    Old Today, 12:25 AM   #46075
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Is saying where I'm at a sign of insecurity, though? Obviously the stuff I have mentioned in here is, but that is just me venting my thoughts. It may be hard for people in here to believe, but I have not been insecure or nervous on the dates. I feel very relaxed and comfortable.

    Is confidently expressing where I stand, a sign of insecurity?
    If you say it how you originally coined it, as in "hey, so I'm not really seeing anyone else or planning on it..." then yes, it is. You cannot say something like that without demanding a response. Which almost guarantees you will get a "oh, me too" but you'll always be wondering whether she means it or just said it out of pity, which would probably extend your anxiety driven anguish. My suggestion is one of two things, either forget about it and just keep killing it (then she will be the one to put her foot down and make sure you both are exclusive) or you be straight forward about it in a casual way. The latter really depends if you two have slept together or anything though. You said 4 dates right? And I haven't heard of anything going down yet other than making out so I'm really not sure. If you haven't yet, I'd be more focused on just bringing your A game every date and then once you two have tested the waters say something to the effect of "so when are we going to make this thing official". Has to be done correctly, though.
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    Old Today, 12:43 AM   #46076
    Rodey
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    I'm pretty sure most women want to hear the, "I'm only dating you" thing before banging. At least that's what I've usually found.
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    Old Today, 01:45 AM   #46077
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bamadavefan15 View Post
    Lol that's just me and chad
    Only because I need someone to be in misery with me.


    But no seriously Jordan I hope it goes well man.
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    Old Today, 09:10 AM   #46078
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    I'm pretty sure most women want to hear the, "I'm only dating you" thing before banging. At least that's what I've usually found.
    That is not the case at all. Women love a confident man. Asking if your exclusive is not showing confidence. I'm a bit concerned that if you're this worried about the exclusive thing then are there other areas that you are showing insecurities.

    I would assume she's seeing anyone else until you hear or see differently.

    Whether she comes, stays, lays or prays no matter what happens your toes are still tappin. * Fast times at Ridgemont High. LOL
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