Dating is miserable

[Alazais]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

I do have a question though: Are all women in Canada seemingly completely cool with no strings attached and that's the end?

It seems from Troy's tales that to go along w the fairly easy hooking up, they never seem to come back or act crazy or anything. Do you ever deal w drama when you call it off w a girl? They seem to just politely take your moving on without a hitch, and its on to the next girl.

I generally try to be as honest as possible. So I tell them that I date multiple people. As of yet, I haven't had it blow up in my face.

As Angela mentioned, I am looking for a relationship. I have high standards that need to be met if I'm doing to date someone exclusively. My problem is that I'm good at casual and not so good at the daily interaction. I'm fun, smart, kind of interesting and cultured. I don't do the day to day's very well and so women in a casual setting find me quite enjoyable to be around.

Sometimes they end it with me because they want more. Sometimes it fizzles out. Sometimes I end it with them because they stop being fun or they cause more drama then I want to deal with.

I don't think not having a phone is the reason it works well. When I was in university I had a phone and I lead a very similar life. It has caused me a bit of trouble, but generally I think it creates a sense of mystery to me. The catch is that I have to be genuine when I tell them I don't have a phone. It is usually followed with a statement like, "I'm serious. I got rid of it when I finished university and decided I was only go to make money playing music for the summer and I just haven't bothered since".

Since getting rid of my cell phone I've had a bit of a tough time with other peoples cell phone usage. Generally on a first or second date, people won't pull out their phone in public. However, they usually sneak away once or twice during the evening to check their messages etc.

After that second date though they seem less attached to the present moment and are always trying to attach themselves to some other space or context. This is really frustrating. I also get very annoyed with the half answers because you're trying to respond/read a text and half listen to what I've said.


Edit: I also do my very best to negatively reinforce the needy/always be in contact with each other attitude. I hate being connected to people at every waking moment of every day. You run out of stuff to talk about far too quickly. I will say as a pro for not having a phone is that it forces each party to live their life between the times you see each other.