Dating is miserable - Page 1552 - Antsmarching.org Forums - Dave Matthews Band Discussion
Old 01-31-2015, 08:15 AM   #46531
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Re: Dating is miserable

We got the apartment. Move in is March 1. Shiiiit.
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  • Old 01-31-2015, 08:16 AM   #46532
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Alazais View Post
    We got the apartment. Move in is March 1. Shiiiit.

    Ohhhhh shit's getting real.
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    Old 01-31-2015, 09:45 AM   #46533
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Alazais View Post
    We got the apartment. Move in is March 1. Shiiiit.
    Good luck man
    Didnt think you'd ever settle down
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    Old 02-01-2015, 07:16 AM   #46534
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I always said that I believe in the committed relationship, I am just going through every woman until I find one I want that with. It's taken a lot of women, but i made it! Appreciate the support folks.
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    Old 02-01-2015, 09:17 AM   #46535
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I asked my buddy to watch the game today so he invited me over. Then they invited another family and apparently now my ex. I understand no one wants to take sides but.

    So, I I'll be bailing on that and it will probably ruffle some feathers.

    Anyone have any thoughts on matters like this?
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    Old 02-01-2015, 09:32 AM   #46536
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    I asked my buddy to watch the game today so he invited me over. Then they invited another family and apparently now my ex. I understand no one wants to take sides but.

    So, I I'll be bailing on that and it will probably ruffle some feathers.

    Anyone have any thoughts on matters like this?
    That is a tough situation. Personally, if I were having a get together I would not invite two people who recently split. It's shitty to do that, since you and your buddy agreed to getting together first.

    So you said "They invited another family", did your friends partner invite your ex? Or was it your friend? When there is a group of people who all hang out/know each other it gets tricky when someone in that group splits up. Either way, they did not handle it well by not taking into consideration your situation.

    You did the right thing though, by not going. Who cares if it ruffles feathers. Not your fault you were faced with this decision.
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    Old 02-01-2015, 09:45 AM   #46537
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dmbetc View Post
    That is a tough situation. Personally, if I were having a get together I would not invite two people who recently split. It's shitty to do that, since you and your buddy agreed to getting together first.

    So you said "They invited another family", did your friends partner invite your ex? Or was it your friend? When there is a group of people who all hang out/know each other it gets tricky when someone in that group splits up. Either way, they did not handle it well by not taking into consideration your situation.

    You did the right thing though, by not going. Who cares if it ruffles feathers. Not your fault you were faced with this decision.
    Thanks Sarah.

    It's our next door neighbors and yes, she and the ex are tight so I get it.

    I just want to bow out peacefully and be free to do my own thing at this point. I guess I feel defective since I'm the one that doesn't want to see her and things light this just highlight it.
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    Old 02-01-2015, 09:48 AM   #46538
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I think it's weird and slightly rude they invited both parties. Did they tell both of you that the other is also being invited?
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    Old 02-01-2015, 09:52 AM   #46539
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Nope. And I instagated the whole thing.

    It's almost like she invited her just to prove a point they were not taking sides or something.
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    Old 02-01-2015, 10:05 AM   #46540
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    Nope. And I instagated the whole thing.

    It's almost like she invited her just to prove a point they were not taking sides or something.
    Yeah that's the feeling I got since you said you asked him to get together. Seems very immature. You are not asking them to pick sides but you should be able to ask you friend to hang out without your ex being invited...
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    Old 02-01-2015, 11:06 AM   #46541
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    Two dates the past two nights with two different people. Will probably never hear from them again. Sigh. What's my problem
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    Old 02-01-2015, 12:18 PM   #46542
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cry_minarets458 View Post
    Two dates the past two nights with two different people. Will probably never hear from them again. Sigh. What's my problem
    Nothing! You're getting out there and getting back into the game again. Don't treat every date like a life or death situation; I found that when I went into a date thinking "oh my god, she better be girlfriend material", I acted differently because of the pressure I was putting on myself.
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    Old 02-01-2015, 08:54 PM   #46543
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    There'd only be something wrong with you if you were sitting at home doing nothing. Keep at it bud.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 10:52 AM   #46544
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    I asked my buddy to watch the game today so he invited me over. Then they invited another family and apparently now my ex. I understand no one wants to take sides but.

    So, I I'll be bailing on that and it will probably ruffle some feathers.

    Anyone have any thoughts on matters like this?
    Did you end up going? I feel like I would have made an appearance to try to create the appearance that I don't give a shit and then leave. If you don't go, people will assume it's because of her and that would annoy me.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 11:47 AM   #46545
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    I couldn't be happier with the way things are going in my situation right now.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 12:07 PM   #46546
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Found a surefire way to grind a date to a screeching halt this weekend.

    Made it a couple of drinks in, conversation was productive, and the topic of pets came up. She mentioned she had a cat, I mentioned at one time I lived with one that made life completely miserable (it meowed 24/7, especially at night, and pissed everywhere but the litter box for several months), but once we got rid of it things were fine.

    She asked what happened to it. I said we took care of it, meaning had it put down. She asked if we tried to figure out what was wrong with it first or tried to find a new home for it. I said no, it was an older cat and clearly on its last days, and figured it would meet a worse fate at the hands of someone else who might torture the animal due to its behavior if we just didn't put it down.

    *Shattering glass*

    That pretty much ended what was a fine evening, she was almost ready to cry, and then decided she had to get home because she had brunch the next morning and didn't want to be tired. That akwardness from the moment of shatter to the time she put on her coat and left felt like forever. I didn't even know what to do with myself but stare off at a distant TV while it all sunk in and she gathered her things. Apparently that story made me Hanibal Lecter.

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    Old 02-02-2015, 12:15 PM   #46547
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    That's fine. She's gonna turn into a cat lady and be alone forever. Not your fault
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    Old 02-02-2015, 12:25 PM   #46548
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I never have good luck bringing up the few pets I've had in the past. Above is still not as batshit as the girl I was getting to know a couple of years ago and when asked if I had a dog (because she had one that she was crazy about), I said no. She asked why not. I said that I used to, but my ex wouldn't let me take him when we broke up, and I just hadn't gone so far as to secure a new four-legged friend. That's literally all I said about it.

    She went on this tirade of how disrespectful it was to mention an ex to someone that is trying to get to know you, and I was clearly thinking about my ex and should probably reconnect. She judged the living crap out of me for a simple, honest answer of why I didn't have a dog.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 12:51 PM   #46549
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    In other news, my youngest sister got engaged over the weekend, so someone in the family is doing it right.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 06:25 PM   #46550
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Nick@Night View Post
    Found a surefire way to grind a date to a screeching halt this weekend.

    Made it a couple of drinks in, conversation was productive, and the topic of pets came up. She mentioned she had a cat, I mentioned at one time I lived with one that made life completely miserable (it meowed 24/7, especially at night, and pissed everywhere but the litter box for several months), but once we got rid of it things were fine.

    She asked what happened to it. I said we took care of it, meaning had it put down. She asked if we tried to figure out what was wrong with it first or tried to find a new home for it. I said no, it was an older cat and clearly on its last days, and figured it would meet a worse fate at the hands of someone else who might torture the animal due to its behavior if we just didn't put it down.


    *Shattering glass*

    That pretty much ended what was a fine evening, she was almost ready to cry, and then decided she had to get home because she had brunch the next morning and didn't want to be tired. That akwardness from the moment of shatter to the time she put on her coat and left felt like forever. I didn't even know what to do with myself but stare off at a distant TV while it all sunk in and she gathered her things. Apparently that story made me Hanibal Lecter.

    This is a pretty rough paragraph to process nonchalantly if you care about your pets, especially if that last sentence was an attempt at a joke to a girl clearly in the midst of getting upset. It probably came off as crude and uncaring.

    The first thing that's probably going through her mind is "What if he didn't like my pet? Would he try to talk me into doing that, like it's no big deal?"

    Could see my sister reacting similarly.

    Well, at least it was an older cat.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 07:05 PM   #46551
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tiduwho View Post
    This is a pretty rough paragraph to process nonchalantly if you care about your pets, especially if that last sentence was an attempt at a joke to a girl clearly in the midst of getting upset. It probably came off as crude and uncaring.

    The first thing that's probably going through her mind is "What if he didn't like my pet? Would he try to talk me into doing that, like it's no big deal?"

    Could see my sister reacting similarly.

    Well, at least it was an older cat.
    Wasn't trying to joke my way out of it, just giving facts of the situation. Decided to put it down rather than it go to a home where the new owner could possibly beat the shit out of it for being a nuisance. It just couldn't be in our house any longer. She reacted horrified. C'est la vie.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 08:13 PM   #46552
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Welp, she got me again. The girl who's disappeared on me 3 times just tried to give me the "I need some thinking space for a couple days" line and I said fuck that. Told her I'm walking away.
    It sucks. We've been dating since Christmas and it was so wonderful this time, I really thought she had come around.
    However, there is a silver lining. I've been secretly freaking out about our future since I'm moving away in 3 months. So at least this made the decision for us. She was never really there for me when I needed her, but I always forgave her and let it go. It's time for me to find someone that supports me as much as I support them.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 08:29 PM   #46553
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jordanbball17 View Post
    Welp, she got me again. The girl who's disappeared on me 3 times just tried to give me the "I need some thinking space for a couple days" line and I said fuck that. Told her I'm walking away.
    It sucks. We've been dating since Christmas and it was so wonderful this time, I really thought she had come around.
    However, there is a silver lining. I've been secretly freaking out about our future since I'm moving away in 3 months. So at least this made the decision for us. She was never really there for me when I needed her, but I always forgave her and let it go. It's time for me to find someone that supports me as much as I support them.
    Sounds like you made the right the move.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 08:32 PM   #46554
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Alright, looking for some opinions here.

    My girlfriend and I were discussing Valentine's Day plans a bit over the weekend and we booked a dinner for Saturday night. I wasn't really sure what I was going to get her, but in conversation I mentioned, "I guess I could go cliche and get you flowers" sort of jokingly. She then mentioned that no one had ever given her flowers before and last year at work everyone else got them.

    Would it be weird to get flowers delivered to her work on Friday (the day before)? I feel like her saying that was a massive hint. Do people send stuff to places of employment if the actual day falls on the weekend? Is that a thing? I could see her really liking it and if Valentine's Day was Friday, I'd do it for sure.

    Yay or nay on the day before idea?
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    Old 02-02-2015, 08:51 PM   #46555
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Alright, looking for some opinions here.

    My girlfriend and I were discussing Valentine's Day plans a bit over the weekend and we booked a dinner for Saturday night. I wasn't really sure what I was going to get her, but in conversation I mentioned, "I guess I could go cliche and get you flowers" sort of jokingly. She then mentioned that no one had ever given her flowers before and last year at work everyone else got them.

    Would it be weird to get flowers delivered to her work on Friday (the day before)? I feel like her saying that was a massive hint. Do people send stuff to places of employment if the actual day falls on the weekend? Is that a thing? I could see her really liking it and if Valentine's Day was Friday, I'd do it for sure.

    Yay or nay on the day before idea?
    Yes, yes, and more yes. Girls love showing off their significant other. It better be a good bouquet though!
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    Old 02-02-2015, 08:51 PM   #46556
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    Alright, looking for some opinions here.

    My girlfriend and I were discussing Valentine's Day plans a bit over the weekend and we booked a dinner for Saturday night. I wasn't really sure what I was going to get her, but in conversation I mentioned, "I guess I could go cliche and get you flowers" sort of jokingly. She then mentioned that no one had ever given her flowers before and last year at work everyone else got them.

    Would it be weird to get flowers delivered to her work on Friday (the day before)? I feel like her saying that was a massive hint. Do people send stuff to places of employment if the actual day falls on the weekend? Is that a thing? I could see her really liking it and if Valentine's Day was Friday, I'd do it for sure.

    Yay or nay on the day before idea?
    Do it. She definitely wants you to it seems and she'll feel special if other people aren't getting flowers and she is the day before. If that's what you want to do then you should.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 08:51 PM   #46557
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by thechad90000 View Post
    Sounds like you made the right the move.
    I know I did, but with this girl, my head and my heart have never worked together.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 09:40 PM   #46558
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    God I hate spending money on flowers. Such a waste haha. I realize that probably makes me an awful person but oh well.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 10:03 PM   #46559
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jordanbball17 View Post
    Welp, she got me again. The girl who's disappeared on me 3 times just tried to give me the "I need some thinking space for a couple days" line and I said fuck that. Told her I'm walking away.
    It sucks. We've been dating since Christmas and it was so wonderful this time, I really thought she had come around.
    However, there is a silver lining. I've been secretly freaking out about our future since I'm moving away in 3 months. So at least this made the decision for us. She was never really there for me when I needed her, but I always forgave her and let it go. It's time for me to find someone that supports me as much as I support them.

    Yup don't want to stay with her. Sounds like she has commitment issues. Been through exactly the same thing. Hard as hell to get out of the situation but it was much better for me in the long run.
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    Old 02-02-2015, 10:04 PM   #46560
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TheLastStop123 View Post
    God I hate spending money on flowers. Such a waste haha. I realize that probably makes me an awful person but oh well.
    No it makes you a guy
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