Dating is miserable

[neumdogg]

Originally Posted by Garrettnettz

You sound like you can't read signals and are pretty pushy/desperate.

I don't think he's desperate. I just thinks he needs more practice.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Garrettnettz

You sound like you can't read signals and are pretty pushy/desperate.

Me? Hmm. I think that's how I ended up coming off as well, which is frustrating because it was the opposite initially. She was calling me, she wanted to see me, etc. Somehow that flipped and I couldnt roll with the punches. Of course, what sucked was that I was at a wake and funeral the two days I think things got weird. I was at the wake for 9 hours, I had nothing to do and so I gave her a call and then texted her. Eventually talked to her. I even had the urge to call her again later but it was simply because I was stuck there at the Church all day trying not to think about my Uncle.

[Tiduwho]

Anyways, in this case, I was only playing off of all the things she'd been saying to me. Texting me "So do you see something with us?' On the phone the next day still saying how great the date went. I guess what I should have done the second she canceled on me was just text back "K" and said nothing more. She texted me "U mad at me?" and I just didn't say anything. After that it just got weird.


I definitely need more practice with everything. Gotta learn to not show interest, and pretend I dont care about her after a good date. If you're the one showing interest, you look desperate or something. I'm not used to playing the field, after wasting my college years with a gf.


Little did she know, but I'm talking to 3 other girls right now, and actually stopped talking to two others all in that span during that week. It's not that I'm desperate, it's just that I really liked her and felt reciprocated after that date. Didn't think she was gonna flip on me like that and thought it was ok to act more "official-like" that we were going on another date. Rather than just ignoring her and waiting for her to call me again which is what I should have done. Casual casual casual.

Another learning experience for me...

[Tiduwho]

Heh, so you don't talk to a girl for 4 days and what happens? You get a text saying "sorry my phone was dead" and then an hour later a message on facebook of "hey".


Alright Ants, let me throw this up to you. What do I do here with this girl?

A.) Forget her

B.) Don't respond, just see what happens for a day or two, maybe give her a call then

C.) Respond in some kinda manner

[ArmyDaveFan]

B or C!!! Not A.

But I know nothing, obv...

[lockman21]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Heh, so you don't talk to a girl for 4 days and what happens? You get a text saying "sorry my phone was dead" and then an hour later a message on facebook of "hey".


Alright Ants, let me throw this up to you. What do I do here with this girl?

A.) Forget her

B.) Don't respond, just see what happens for a day or two, maybe give her a call then

C.) Respond in some kinda manner

This just reminds me how much I hate the "games" that are played when you first start "dating" someone.

Not A. I mean, there is a possibility there is a legit explanation for it. Also, it's not like you were boyfriend/girlfriend or have been with this chick for a year+. Give her a chance.

[CaffeineQueen]

ok, so I've been following and I love the fact that girls aren't the only ones who go crazy with wondering what the fuck is going on??

it's refreshing.

sorry, proceed.

[jordanbball17]

Women

Just broke up with my gf...yeah, it was only 3 and a half months, but still. Its hard to find someone who wants to be serious at this age. Pretty sure I'm done with dating until college.

[deercreek]

Dating is less miserable than marriage*,

*jokingly said by the man who is celebrating his 10th anniversary soon.

[WoodstockAimee]

I'm talking to someone, not technically dating yet. I forgot how freaking hard it is to decipher every little thing

[Lude99]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

I got to 2nd and things were going so good that when she told me she wanted to take it slow because she didn't want to screw up something like she did with the last guy, I agreed and said yeah we should. No problem.


What a dumbass I am.

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Heh, so you don't talk to a girl for 4 days and what happens? You get a text saying "sorry my phone was dead" and then an hour later a message on facebook of "hey".


Alright Ants, let me throw this up to you. What do I do here with this girl?

A.) Forget her

B.) Don't respond, just see what happens for a day or two, maybe give her a call then

C.) Respond in some kinda manner

1000% option A

Any time a girl says she wants to take things slow because of a previous situation, get the hell out of there. Find a new girl.

[jordanbball17]

Originally Posted by deercreek

Dating is less miserable than marriage*,

*jokingly said by the man who is celebrating his 10th anniversary soon.

You are only the second person I've seen with a 2001 join date. Rare breed, you are

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Lude99

1000% option A

Any time a girl says she wants to take things slow because of a previous situation, get the hell out of there. Find a new girl.

Really? I took it as "she wants things to be good with me".


I just had a really short facebook convo with her. Answered her "hey". Didn't say much, and I ended it after a few mins. Hopefully it translates the same feelings I've gotten when someone has randomly barely talked to me and then goes offline:

That they are bored of me / better than me. Girls love it when a guy treats them like they aren't good enough. Gets them interested.

You might be completely right though Lude.

[Dancing Ants]

Hey tiduwho, why not just call her out on her stupid behavior?

[Garrettnettz]

Ur way off on acting not interested to make her interested. That's ok if u just wanna hook up. Ur not her first option it sounds like to me. So play the field like she's obviously doing and come back to it when its convenient. Ur not going to end up bf/gf I'd be willing to bet the farm on that.

[wnderwoman]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Really? I took it as "she wants things to be good with me".


I just had a really short facebook convo with her. Answered her "hey". Didn't say much, and I ended it after a few mins. Hopefully it translates the same feelings I've gotten when someone has randomly barely talked to me and then goes offline:

That they are bored of me / better than me. Girls love it when a guy treats them like they aren't good enough. Gets them interested.

You might be completely right though Lude.

Wow, please never complain about girls again.

[kfpoling]

Originally Posted by CaffeineQueen

ok, so I've been following and I love the fact that girls aren't the only ones who go crazy with wondering what the fuck is going on??

it's refreshing.

sorry, proceed.

sooo true
it still sucks though

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Really? I took it as "she wants things to be good with me".


I just had a really short facebook convo with her. Answered her "hey". Didn't say much, and I ended it after a few mins. Hopefully it translates the same feelings I've gotten when someone has randomly barely talked to me and then goes offline:

That they are bored of me / better than me. Girls love it when a guy treats them like they aren't good enough. Gets them interested.

You might be completely right though Lude.

that is horrible, she obviously wanted to talk and girls don't love that. at all.

[Dancing Ants]

Originally Posted by WoodstockAimee

I'm talking to someone, not technically dating yet. I forgot how freaking hard it is to decipher every little thing

don't try. guys tend to mean EXACTLY what they're saying. or a very close variant of that.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by wnderwoman

Wow, please never complain about girls again.

Originally Posted by kfpoling

that is horrible, she obviously wanted to talk and girls don't love that. at all.

I was being facetious guys.


She messaged me, but she didn't really have anything to say. And every time I'd ask her something she'd respond with one word answers. Didn't ask me anything. Sat there, gave it plenty of time. Got bored, left. Maybe I'll give her a call today or tomorrow. Other than that, I'm just saying I'm not going to focus in on one girl and give her attention if she's not reciprocating it to me.

This asian girl I've been emailing back and forth the past few days seems like she'd be a good date, but she lives down by Chicago. Bit of a drive to really have anything...

[WoodstockAimee]

Originally Posted by Dancing Ants

don't try. guys tend to mean EXACTLY what they're saying. or a very close variant of that.

Ya I hear ya. I'm just gonna roll with the punches. See how it all goes.

[WoodstockAimee]

oh I got him so figured out.

[spoot388]

Originally Posted by Dancing Ants

don't try. guys tend to mean EXACTLY what they're saying. or a very close variant of that.

thats the problem with girls. they think we guys speak the same way they do, so they overthink what we say and turn it backwards from what it really means. guys on the other hand, we KNOW that girls are fucked up and what they say and mean aren't always the same. the problem is theres so many options for what it could actually mean, we end up being completely lost.

[atrippingbillie]

Originally Posted by spoot388

thats the problem with girls. they think we guys speak the same way they do, so they overthink what we say and turn it backwards from what it really means. guys on the other hand, we KNOW that girls are fucked up and what they say and mean aren't always the same. the problem is theres so many options for what it could actually mean, we end up being completely lost.

about sums it up

[Dancing Ants]

Originally Posted by atrippingbillie

about sums it up

exactly.

[Lude99]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Really? I took it as "she wants things to be good with me".

It comes off a BS/issues to me. I've heard the same thing, and that was enough for me to bail out... maybe I'm just not that patient. Anyone who disagrees, feel free to chime in.

Besides, it doesn't seem like things are going too smoothly anyway. Isn't dating supposed to be enjoyable? If its causing stress, you need to ask yourself why you're really doing it. That goes for anyone, not you specifically.

[berman1125]

the start of dating is really fun!

[CaffeineQueen]

Originally Posted by Lude99

Besides, it doesn't seem like things are going too smoothly anyway. Isn't dating supposed to be enjoyable? If its causing stress, you need to ask yourself why you're really doing it. That goes for anyone, not you specifically.

Originally Posted by berman1125

the start of dating is really fun!

[rconverse]

Yes. Yes it is.

[ArmyDaveFan]

The start of dating with someone you're really interested in and is really interested in you is really fun. All the retards in between, not so much...

[WoodstockAimee]

yeah for when the relationship progresses to its next level naturally! made it thru another hurdle. I feel great!