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Originally Posted by Rodey
When those in here moved in with a significant other, what was the conversation you had?
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half and are considering signing a lease together, as we stay together almost every night anyway. It's kind of a fast moving process, as we need to make a decision on an apartment relatively soon if we want to get all of the amenities and stuff we want out of it. We're looking at a place in her current building this afternoon and she is pretty gung-ho about the prospect of staying in the same building she currently lives in with her roommate and roommate's boyfriend. I like the building, so I wouldn't mind it either, but something came over me and I had to pause the enthusiasm a bit in regards to the actual process of moving in together.
We've never really sat down and laid it out/talked about it. We've casually discussed it, but that's about it. It also just hit me that moving in is a big step and it can set a precedent. Before leaving for work today, I told her I thought we should talk about whether we're actually ready to move in together and what it means for expectations. She kind of asked what that meant, and I briefly just said that I really am not sure what I want in life and that moving in can set a precedent for marriage, settling down, etc.
So, I guess I just am not sure how to approach this and am nervous to sign a lease because I don't want to set a precedent. It makes sense financially because we're with each other most nights and I love her and spending time with her, I just don't know if I want marriage, kids, settling down in a house with a white picket fence, etc. And I'm not sure what she wants, because she's never really said.
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first think, why do you want to move in with her? if it's purely to save money, i don't think that's a good enough reason or a solid primary reason
it's a good time to reflect where you guys stand and if there will continue to be a solid future as a couple. maybe you don't know what you want, but does she? is there a certain timeline she has but hasn't talked abuot, in terms of wanting to be married, wanting to own a house, wanting to have children? it's important that she fully understands that you don't know what you want, make this clear to her. because if children are a must for her but you're uncertain.... she might be kickin' herself 3 years down the road when you still don't want kids, and she was hoping this whole time that you would change your mind. i think that happens a lot
if you think moving in is the right move, talk about finances/debt/etc
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllifromOhio
We talked about everything before signing a lease. We have been on a lease together since 1/14 and are not engaged. It only goes as fast as you let it.
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