Dating is miserable

[haybale97]

Originally Posted by Rodey

I also seem to have won over one of her roommates, so that's always a positive.

And a back up plan

[katy41]

Just looking for different opinions: so I'm talking to a man I met online who is currently deployed in the military. I can't help but think he is jusy talking to me wile he's deployed because he's bored then when he gets home he'll ditch me. I do have a tendency to over think everything.

Question: should I continue talking to him with the change he'll blow me off when he gets home or tell him to contact me when he gets back?

Thanks

[katy41]

Okay so disregard all the spelling errors.

[dmbetc]

Originally Posted by katy41

Just looking for different opinions: so I'm talking to a man I met online who is currently deployed in the military. I can't help but think he is jusy talking to me wile he's deployed because he's bored then when he gets home he'll ditch me. I do have a tendency to over think everything.

Question: should I continue talking to him with the change he'll blow me off when he gets home or tell him to contact me when he gets back?

Thanks

When does he come back? And if it's awhile do you want to have a long term relationship until then? If so, then it depends; if you've just started talking to him then I would wait..maybe a week or two? If it's constant talking then I would ride it out.

What's the difference in you spending time with a guy in person for 2-3 months and then he leaves because of [insert a reason to break up here]? This way at least he isn't using you for sex then throwing you to the curb! Haha.

[rconverse]

I'd keep chatting but just not get too emotionally involved. Maybe you'll get bored and nothing will come of it as opposed to the way you're thinking nothing will come of it.

[katy41]

Yeah that's what I'm thinking too.

[katy41]

Well the difference is that we've never met. And sex stays out of the conversation all together ha

[Rodey]

Originally Posted by cazzie34

Nice.

That's how I would have handled it. Not to say I'm great with girls but glad to see it worked out. Keep playing it cool.

I probably will play it cool, at least until we've had a week or two of seeing each other a few times. Her pretty seamlessly agreeing to that (though we'll see if it actually happens) helped put some of my anxieties to rest.

For overthinkers like myself, the reassurance of hearing someone say something or have a label is always comforting, but I am at least not bashing my head in about it now.

[lockman21]

Originally Posted by lockman21

So I was seeing this girl for a couple months a while ago (like 6-7 months ago). We went on like 4-5 dates, it was really sporadic, we barely talked outside the dates...it was really bizarre.

One day I just said I think we're looking for different things and she agreed. She had just gotten out of a long relationship, wasn't looking for anything serious, etc. etc.

So would it be weird for me to call her out of the blue and ask to meet up for coffee or something? Is that weird? I really liked her when I was with her, but communication didn't work, etc. and it's just been bothering me. Not that I need or want something, but I just never got any real "closure" on that whole thing. It felt so odd, the whole thing...and then it just ended and we stopped talking and seeing each other completely. I guess I just want to hear her side of the story. Is that weird?

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

If you are just doing it for the closure/get her side of the story reason the I'd say let sleeping dogs lie.

That said, if you want to see her and think letting some time go by might help resolve some things that were going on I say go for it but be honest with her.

Originally Posted by dmbetc

This would be weird, especially since you were the one that said you guys should stop. On the other hand, if you word it carefully it may not be that bad. Maybe explaining you enjoyed talking with her and you'd like her as a friend? Something along those lines so that you are not sending mixed signals.

Soooooo...

I did this.

Couldn't have gone better. We decided to take things slow, but we both want to see where things go. I couldn't be happier.

[Rodey]

I feel like I should update in here because I'm actually feeling good/confident about this for a change

Things seem to be going real well/picking up with us. On Sunday we made plans to hangout Thursday. We had agreed to try to see each other more, so I said screw it and suggested we do breakfast before work this morning. She jumped all over that idea. So we had breakfast this morning, are hanging out tomorrow night and last night she invited me to trivia with her roommate and roommate's boyfriend on Monday.

Glad I listened to play it cool advice! Thanks ya'll.

[Alazais]

I have some news to share:

I officially have a girlfriend. I'm in an exclusive committed relationship. Yes. This guy. Feels good man.

[SqueeBaBooSquee]

Originally Posted by Rodey

I feel like I should update in here because I'm actually feeling good/confident about this for a change

Things seem to be going real well/picking up with us. On Sunday we made plans to hangout Thursday. We had agreed to try to see each other more, so I said screw it and suggested we do breakfast before work this morning. She jumped all over that idea. So we had breakfast this morning, are hanging out tomorrow night and last night she invited me to trivia with her roommate and roommate's boyfriend on Monday.

Glad I listened to play it cool advice! Thanks ya'll.

[Funkhouser]

Originally Posted by Rodey

I feel like I should update in here because I'm actually feeling good/confident about this for a change

Things seem to be going real well/picking up with us. On Sunday we made plans to hangout Thursday. We had agreed to try to see each other more, so I said screw it and suggested we do breakfast before work this morning. She jumped all over that idea. So we had breakfast this morning, are hanging out tomorrow night and last night she invited me to trivia with her roommate and roommate's boyfriend on Monday.

Glad I listened to play it cool advice! Thanks ya'll.

Congrats Rodey!

[cry_minarets458]

Cheers to Rodey and cheers to Troy!! Woohoo!! Some good news in this thread!!!

This week is the week of my dreaded call backs in between our clinical rotations. I'll be seeing the ex tomorrow and Friday. She txted me sunday night and also tonight, which I've responded to neither. I just don't get it.

Sooooo thanks for the good news guys. was just the thing I needed to read to help get my mind off of the ex

[thechad90000]

Went to hang out with this chick the other night. Played the role of rebound sex guy. Was nice. Don't think I'll be hanging out with her again though. She was.... Odd. She thought she was a psychic and she was messy as fuck.

[Jsc6545]

Originally Posted by thechad90000

Went to hang out with this chick the other night. Played the role of rebound sex guy. Was nice. Don't think I'll be hanging out with her again though. She was.... Odd. She thought she was a psychic and she was messy as fuck.

nice

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by Alazais

I have some news to share:

I officially have a girlfriend. I'm in an exclusive committed relationship. Yes. This guy. Feels good man.

Way to go Charlie Harp.. eerrr Troy!

[dmbetc]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

Cheers to Rodey and cheers to Troy!! Woohoo!! Some good news in this thread!!!

This week is the week of my dreaded call backs in between our clinical rotations. I'll be seeing the ex tomorrow and Friday. She txted me sunday night and also tonight, which I've responded to neither. I just don't get it.

Sooooo thanks for the good news guys. was just the thing I needed to read to help get my mind off of the ex

Congrats on staying strong!

[cry_minarets458]

Wish me luck. My insides are in knots already

[Rodey]

Good luck, dude. Don't let her mess with your shit. It sounds like she's a definite game player. Just take control of the situation and dictate things how you want them to be.

[dmbetc]

yes and remember that you've been FINE (it not great) without her!

[cry_minarets458]

I feel neither fine not great. I just feel like I'm going with the tide

[Alazais]

Having a girlfriend is way more difficult than sleeping with a ton of women. Man oh man. Being considerate all of the time is exhausting.

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by dmbetc

yes and remember that you've been FINE (it not great) without her!

One day down. It was really hard and I feel like I did 3 weeks ago. It's frustrating

[AllifromOhio]

Originally Posted by Alazais

I have some news to share:

I officially have a girlfriend. I'm in an exclusive committed relationship. Yes. This guy. Feels good man.

Originally Posted by Alazais

Having a girlfriend is way more difficult than sleeping with a ton of women. Man oh man. Being considerate all of the time is exhausting.

Took you less than 26 hours to say this.

Relationship is fucked.

[dmbmuskie]

Girlfriends suck. I'm fairly attractive, make good money, and live in an awesome neighborhood. No way I'm getting tied down. Cut that broad lose, and get back on the strange.

[Jsc6545]

Originally Posted by dmbmuskie

Girlfriends suck. I'm fairly attractive, make good money, and live in an awesome neighborhood. No way I'm getting tied down. Cut that broad lose, and get back on the strange.

Teach me how to muskie?

[jordanbball17]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

Took you less than 26 hours to say this.

Relationship is fucked.

I thought the same thing!! Took even less time than I thought

[Rodey]

Originally Posted by Jsc6545

Teach me how to muskie?

[Alazais]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

Took you less than 26 hours to say this.

Relationship is fucked.

Originally Posted by jordanbball17

I thought the same thing!! Took even less time than I thought

We've been dating for a couple of weeks now. I just posted it on here when I was searching through.

The relationship is quite good. We really like each other and are happy to hang out and do stuff together all the time. We have been spending almost every night together. It's just more tiring than I remember. When I could go home and sleep with a ton of women and not have to worry it was so much less exhausting. Don't get me wrong. It's a good exhausting. I like it and am happy to put in the effort but i'm just saying it's been a year or so since I've really given it the ol' college try and it's tiring.