Dating is miserable

[unccrombie]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

"I've just been so busy lately (usually with some exclaimation about work)" = you're currently not my #1

But hey, maybe you can be. Here's another chance.

yeah. in this case GREs and the super bowl. will take advantage

[rconverse]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

"I've just been so busy lately (usually with some exclaimation about work)" = you're currently not my #1

But hey, maybe you can be. Here's another chance.

Probably true.

I'd still go, John.

[cry_minarets458]

was hanging out with a chick that has been pretty enjoyable over the past few months. things were going well aside from some intermittent drama that we worked through. nothing even remotely major. had a serious talk about what our foundations were and what were looking for. after 5 minutes and one topic in said conversation, we have walked away from it because we are equally stubborn in what we want down the road. I'm willing to work through it to get to that point, but she's just not. Which is cool, so back to the pool

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

was hanging out with a chick that has been pretty enjoyable over the past few months. things were going well aside from some intermittent drama that we worked through. nothing even remotely major. had a serious talk about what our foundations were and what were looking for. after 5 minutes and one topic in said conversation, we have walked away from it because we are equally stubborn in what we want down the road. I'm willing to work through it to get to that point, but she's just not. Which is cool, so back to the pool

What was the crux of the issue?


It's good that you had that talk now. A lot of people could save themselves grief from relationships if they had these talks early on.

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

What was the crux of the issue?


It's good that you had that talk now. A lot of people could save themselves grief from relationships if they had these talks early on.

we were just shooting the shit today about how many kids we were looking for down the road. she said five, I three and possibly no more. she took that as I wasn't open to having another beyond that and it turned into a religion-based thing, like leaving it up to the lord's will. totally saw where she was coming from, but then it turned into a sex during marriage debate and she's against vasectomy's and using condoms/contraceptives within marriage. so literally each time there'd be a chance another kid can pop out? no thanks. I mean I know so far down the road and it's always fun to shoot the shit over future unknown variables, but the convo turned extremely serious, but I'm soooo better off now she's awesome, though. I hope she can find what she's looking for in someone.

[gonz085]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

What was the crux of the issue?


It's good that you had that talk now. A lot of people could save themselves grief from relationships if they had these talks early on.

One of my girlfriend's best friends has been dating a guy for a little less than a year now. He is in the army (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is relevant to this in my opinion). Apparently they have already discussed getting married in the near future. Strange thing is, apparently they have had 0 talks about what they each want in the future, what their goals are, where they'd like to end up. My first response was that they're idiots. I mean, think of it both ways. First off, he has to think about being deployed and being away from her. Second, she wants to be an elementary teacher who has to think about becoming pretty much attached at the hip to him in terms of where he gets stationed, all that jazz. Also good luck finding repeat employment with how difficult it is to find an elementary ed job.

I mean, they are 21/22 years old. Even if they were to have had these important talks about what they wanted, they are fucking young haha. It really confuses me.

[gonz085]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

we were just shooting the shit today about how many kids we were looking for down the road. she said five, I three and possibly no more. she took that as I wasn't open to having another beyond that and it turned into a religion-based thing, like leaving it up to the lord's will. totally saw where she was coming from, but then it turned into a sex during marriage debate and she's against vasectomy's and using condoms/contraceptives within marriage. so literally each time there'd be a chance another kid can pop out? no thanks. I mean I know so far down the road and it's always fun to shoot the shit over future unknown variables, but the convo turned extremely serious, but I'm soooo better off now she's awesome, though. I hope she can find what she's looking for in someone.

Hey, I wouldn't be upset if I were you. You just made the best decision ever to get the HELL out.

[unccrombie]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

What was the crux of the issue?


It's good that you had that talk now. A lot of people could save themselves grief from relationships if they had these talks early on.

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

we were just shooting the shit today about how many kids we were looking for down the road. she said five, I three and possibly no more. she took that as I wasn't open to having another beyond that and it turned into a religion-based thing, like leaving it up to the lord's will. totally saw where she was coming from, but then it turned into a sex during marriage debate and she's against vasectomy's and using condoms/contraceptives within marriage. so literally each time there'd be a chance another kid can pop out? no thanks. I mean I know so far down the road and it's always fun to shoot the shit over future unknown variables, but the convo turned extremely serious, but I'm soooo better off now she's awesome, though. I hope she can find what she's looking for in someone.

glad you saw the light

[cry_minarets458]

thanks for the support, ants

[AllifromOhio]

Not using BC while married is weird, so weird in my opinion.

[cry_minarets458]

the kicker is she's on it now so she can get through grad school and has been since high school due to her ridiculous mood swings and whatnot. I'm like...I just don't understand. Oh well.

[gonz085]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

Not using BC while married is weird, so weird in my opinion.

The only thing that I can think of is that I've heard after the age of maybe 30 or a little after that it becomes unhealthy for women to take fertility wise.

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by gonz085

The only thing that I can think of is that I've heard after the age of maybe 30 or a little after that it becomes unhealthy for women to take fertility wise.

oh absolutely. risk for DVT and pulmonary emboli increases like by a gagillion percent.

[gonz085]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

oh absolutely. risk for DVT and pulmonary emboli increases like by a gagillion percent.

Thought so. My gf has said that the BC she is on also calms her down a shit ton and keeps her far less emotional. Can't wait to see what that's like once she stops....

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by gonz085

Thought so. My gf has said that the BC she is on also calms her down a shit ton and keeps her far less emotional. Can't wait to see what that's like once she stops....

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

we were just shooting the shit today about how many kids we were looking for down the road. she said five, I three and possibly no more. she took that as I wasn't open to having another beyond that and it turned into a religion-based thing, like leaving it up to the lord's will. totally saw where she was coming from, but then it turned into a sex during marriage debate and she's against vasectomy's and using condoms/contraceptives within marriage. so literally each time there'd be a chance another kid can pop out? no thanks. I mean I know so far down the road and it's always fun to shoot the shit over future unknown variables, but the convo turned extremely serious, but I'm soooo better off now she's awesome, though. I hope she can find what she's looking for in someone.

She must be Catholic

Originally Posted by gonz085

One of my girlfriend's best friends has been dating a guy for a little less than a year now. He is in the army (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is relevant to this in my opinion). Apparently they have already discussed getting married in the near future. Strange thing is, apparently they have had 0 talks about what they each want in the future, what their goals are, where they'd like to end up. My first response was that they're idiots. I mean, think of it both ways. First off, he has to think about being deployed and being away from her. Second, she wants to be an elementary teacher who has to think about becoming pretty much attached at the hip to him in terms of where he gets stationed, all that jazz. Also good luck finding repeat employment with how difficult it is to find an elementary ed job.

I mean, they are 21/22 years old. Even if they were to have had these important talks about what they wanted, they are fucking young haha. It really confuses me.

Yea, that's a story I've seen far too often. I just don't even think about that when I hear about it anymore, unless I'm actuallydealing with them person to person. It's just often an all around craptastic lack of planning and foresight, and those stories have a very high chance of ending in divorce within 10 years. Many within 5-6 years.

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

She must be Catholic

she is. I am, too. I, however, am willing to bend and adapt to times. which is fine. faith is faith. I'm just a tad bit more liberal with mine. thanks to my biochemistry degree

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

she is. I am, too. I, however, am willing to bend and adapt to times. which is fine. faith is faith. I'm just a tad bit more liberal with mine. thanks to my biochemistry degree

Yea, I guess I just live in the here and now as far as society goes. I just don't understand (within your faith) how you can justify using contraception before marriage, and then forbid it once you're married.

I mean, part of me gets the logic. The sanctity of marriage; that now you are God's Union. But it's still hard to say that you're allowed a free pass trial period before that, simply because it makes sense in today's society.

But then, the Cafeteria Catholic in me can also reason that maybe that would be a good stance to have. Sex isn't an immoral thing in and of itself, but marriage is a sacrament that is now "real". It's pure and "final". You've confirmed your union with someone, before when you were out having fun it was just a trial period. You didn't cue God into your relationship officially until getting married. So you should treat marriage differently.

/musings

[cry_minarets458]

Yolo5678

[AllifromOhio]

Originally Posted by gonz085

The only thing that I can think of is that I've heard after the age of maybe 30 or a little after that it becomes unhealthy for women to take fertility wise.

What about the vasectomy thing though?

[gonz085]

Originally Posted by AllifromOhio

What about the vasectomy thing though?

That's just straight up weird.

[cazzie34]

In this day and age, 5 kids are a lot. You dodged a bullet. Plus if she isn't using BC or a vasectomy you'd like end up with more than 5.

[Ashley J]

I just found out a friend of mine knocked up the girl he's seeing; which is unfortunate enough as it is... but she already has two other kids with two other guys. What part of that situation makes you not want to double bag it even during a make-out session. I don't even feel bad.

[Tiduwho]

Cant even see myself dating a girl that isn't on BC.

As the wise Austin Powers once said, condoms are for sailors.

[Tiduwho]

Also, why even see a girl that is clearly dumb not to have learned from her past two kids to change something?

Fertile Myrtle's are to be dodged.

[smokew11]

Originally Posted by Ashley J

I just found out a friend of mine knocked up the girl he's seeing; which is unfortunate enough as it is... but she already has two other kids with two other guys. What part of that situation makes you not want to double bag it even during a make-out session. I don't even feel bad.

that girl is a winner

[Nick@Night]

Originally Posted by Ashley J

I just found out a friend of mine knocked up the girl he's seeing; which is unfortunate enough as it is... but she already has two other kids with two other guys. What part of that situation makes you not want to double bag it even during a make-out session. I don't even feel bad.

You have to proceed with the utmost caution when you've got a girl who collects sex trophies the way she does.

[Alazais]

Went out with a blond woman last night. Very nice girl, means well. Not sure if it's going somewhere but she seems like a nice woman. Just moved to the city a few months ago like I did. Not sure if I see it going anywhere but She's fun to do stuff around the city with.

Excited for John Butler tomorrow! going with Bulgaria! Should be grand!

[jordanbball17]

Almost to the month and a half mark with the girlfriend. Things are splendid. I've never found someone I've been so compatible with. She's my friend and lover all in one, which I've never really had before. I don't see us ever having any major issues; we've literally talked about everything under the sun and nothing big (or little, for that matter) came up that would cause problems down the road. Plain and simple, she just makes me incredibly happy.

[TheLastStop123]

Originally Posted by jordanbball17

Almost to the month and a half mark with the girlfriend. Things are splendid. I've never found someone I've been so compatible with. She's my friend and lover all in one, which I've never really had before. I don't see us ever having any major issues; we've literally talked about everything under the sun and nothing big (or little, for that matter) came up that would cause problems down the road. Plain and simple, she just makes me incredibly happy.

That's awesome dude! Such a great feeling for sure.