Overheard at the doctor's office

[ThatLetter]

I'm at the Dr. Because I either have the flu or a respiratory infection. There's a guy in the room next to mine (thin fucking walls) who is in his 20s who all of a sudden can't get it up with his girl. Feel bad for the guy but I suddenly feel better about my situation.

[recentlyJTR41]

"guy" in the "room next to mine"

[Keyz]

[Jake]

Pornography


I'm not a doctor.

[Foreverford05]

They have medicine for that

[jcc522]

I never bought any of that "size matters" crap until my junior year in college. I lived in the dorms with two roommates, David and John. David was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but John was tall, lean, muscular and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when John would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand John.

I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.

Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. David and John had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1AM (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), John walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.

He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked somem more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving John shit. John seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that John wasn't wearing any underwear.

But Amy started massaging my dick through my jeans and being so fucked up, I just laid my head back and enjoyed it - I couldn't believe she was doing that right in front of John! I heard John get up to pass Amy the joint we were smoking and I heard her gasp, long and deep and she suddenly stopped stroking my dick. I opened my eyes and saw John standing righ tin front of Amy with a HUGE fucking bulge in his pants - just inches from her face. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

He just stood there and I could feel her hand tremble and hear her breathing quicken. when she slowly looked up at him, almost in awe and respect, I could feel my heart start to pound in my chest. Then she softly whispered "ohhhhhhhhhhh" as she gingerly reached up to brush her finger tips across that massive knot in his pants. When she touched it, it throbbed - fuck I could see it throb thorugh his pants - Amy just gasped again and looked up at him.

"What?" John asked her and just kinda laughed. Amy did NOT laugh. Instead, she softly asked "can i see it?" John stopped laughing, looked at her very seriously and told her to take it out. Amy never even hesitated - or looked back at me for an "OK" - just just obeyed him and began to open his jeans. I coudl see her nipples rock hard under her t-shirt and I could tell she was practically panting.

She opened his jeans and his big thick dick just fell out...and he had NOT been kidding. That cock was strong, thick, heavy and muscular. The head was a big purple mushroom that sat on top of the thickest shaft i'd ever seen. He was semi-hard and was HUGE compared to me. Amy just gasped and kept whispering "ohmygod..ohmygod...ohmygod". When she wrapped her hand around it, her brow just knotted in disbelief and she almost laughed at how thick he was - her fingers couldn't even touch.

John just stood there watching my girlfriend worship his magnificent cock. Slowly shaking her head in disbelief, she two-fisted him - one hand next to the other...and there was STILL a few inches left - and he was getting rock hard, too.

Amy smiled and patted the couch next to her and John sat down, his cock standing straight up. Honestly he had to be almost 10" (judging from the size of Amy's hand). I opened my pants and took my own cock out. Amy took my cock in her left hand and John's in her right - but there was little doubt whose cock was getting more attention. She couldn't take her eyes off his cock and her hand only occasionally stroked my dick...but John's she pumped with long, purposeful strokes until she finally couldn't help herself any longer and knelt in front of him, kissing his cock and rubbing it against her soft pale skin.

She sucked his dick until SHE came - just from sucking him! I stroked the whole time until he pulled her toward him, peeled off her pants (she didnt even make the slightest attempt to stop him) and sat her on his lap, her back to his chest - the two of them right next to me. She just rolled her head back to kiss him as he squeezed her tits through her shirt. Her hands went down and pushed that big cock against her pussy and she groaned so loud when it touched her that I thought people outside would hear.

John's dick was so fucking big that he easily penetrated her from behind with her sitting on his lap. She arched up so she could take as much of it as she could and they started to fuck right there next to me. It shocked me how easily her petite little body accomodated that horse cock of his. John pounded her in positions that i physically CANNOT do for over an hour - I have no idea how many times she came - she was even in tears a few times (though she never once told him to stop).

He asked her if she was on the pill and when she said she was on the patch, he told her that he was going to cum inside of her to mark her - which only made her cum again! when he finally came, he had Amy on her back, her legs shaking violently as they both came together - and true to his word, John dumped his seed deep up inside my girlfriend's pussy right in front of me. But FUCK - he didn't even lose his damn hard on! They fucked for about another 40 minutes and he came twice more. Amy was a wreck by the time we all went to bed.

I will never forget the look on her face - like she was afraid of him and in love with him all at once - the whole time they fucked. She later told me that there were no words to describe it - it was incredible but even that didn't seem enough. To my knowledge they never fucked again and Amy and I dated for about another year before we finally broke up. I always wondered if she ended up with him or some other big dick guy.

But one thing I know for sure - she NEVER fucked me like she did John and the things she said about John - the way she looked at him - and the way she was around him after that night (almost shy and meek) convinced me that a big dick makes a difference.

Amy told me that she "HAD to respect him" even if she didn't like him...and that she almost felt like he "had a right to her". So there ya go.

[barbogast]

Originally Posted by jcc522

I have a 5.5" dick

No wonder you love guns so much

[Rebecca De Mornay]

Originally Posted by jcc522

I never bought any of that "size matters" crap until my junior year in college. I lived in the dorms with two roommates, David and John. David was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but John was tall, lean, muscular and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when John would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand John.

I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.

Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. David and John had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1AM (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), John walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.

He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked somem more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving John shit. John seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that John wasn't wearing any underwear.

But Amy started massaging my dick through my jeans and being so fucked up, I just laid my head back and enjoyed it - I couldn't believe she was doing that right in front of John! I heard John get up to pass Amy the joint we were smoking and I heard her gasp, long and deep and she suddenly stopped stroking my dick. I opened my eyes and saw John standing righ tin front of Amy with a HUGE fucking bulge in his pants - just inches from her face. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

He just stood there and I could feel her hand tremble and hear her breathing quicken. when she slowly looked up at him, almost in awe and respect, I could feel my heart start to pound in my chest. Then she softly whispered "ohhhhhhhhhhh" as she gingerly reached up to brush her finger tips across that massive knot in his pants. When she touched it, it throbbed - fuck I could see it throb thorugh his pants - Amy just gasped again and looked up at him.

"What?" John asked her and just kinda laughed. Amy did NOT laugh. Instead, she softly asked "can i see it?" John stopped laughing, looked at her very seriously and told her to take it out. Amy never even hesitated - or looked back at me for an "OK" - just just obeyed him and began to open his jeans. I coudl see her nipples rock hard under her t-shirt and I could tell she was practically panting.

She opened his jeans and his big thick dick just fell out...and he had NOT been kidding. That cock was strong, thick, heavy and muscular. The head was a big purple mushroom that sat on top of the thickest shaft i'd ever seen. He was semi-hard and was HUGE compared to me. Amy just gasped and kept whispering "ohmygod..ohmygod...ohmygod". When she wrapped her hand around it, her brow just knotted in disbelief and she almost laughed at how thick he was - her fingers couldn't even touch.

John just stood there watching my girlfriend worship his magnificent cock. Slowly shaking her head in disbelief, she two-fisted him - one hand next to the other...and there was STILL a few inches left - and he was getting rock hard, too.

Amy smiled and patted the couch next to her and John sat down, his cock standing straight up. Honestly he had to be almost 10" (judging from the size of Amy's hand). I opened my pants and took my own cock out. Amy took my cock in her left hand and John's in her right - but there was little doubt whose cock was getting more attention. She couldn't take her eyes off his cock and her hand only occasionally stroked my dick...but John's she pumped with long, purposeful strokes until she finally couldn't help herself any longer and knelt in front of him, kissing his cock and rubbing it against her soft pale skin.

She sucked his dick until SHE came - just from sucking him! I stroked the whole time until he pulled her toward him, peeled off her pants (she didnt even make the slightest attempt to stop him) and sat her on his lap, her back to his chest - the two of them right next to me. She just rolled her head back to kiss him as he squeezed her tits through her shirt. Her hands went down and pushed that big cock against her pussy and she groaned so loud when it touched her that I thought people outside would hear.

John's dick was so fucking big that he easily penetrated her from behind with her sitting on his lap. She arched up so she could take as much of it as she could and they started to fuck right there next to me. It shocked me how easily her petite little body accomodated that horse cock of his. John pounded her in positions that i physically CANNOT do for over an hour - I have no idea how many times she came - she was even in tears a few times (though she never once told him to stop).

He asked her if she was on the pill and when she said she was on the patch, he told her that he was going to cum inside of her to mark her - which only made her cum again! when he finally came, he had Amy on her back, her legs shaking violently as they both came together - and true to his word, John dumped his seed deep up inside my girlfriend's pussy right in front of me. But FUCK - he didn't even lose his damn hard on! They fucked for about another 40 minutes and he came twice more. Amy was a wreck by the time we all went to bed.

I will never forget the look on her face - like she was afraid of him and in love with him all at once - the whole time they fucked. She later told me that there were no words to describe it - it was incredible but even that didn't seem enough. To my knowledge they never fucked again and Amy and I dated for about another year before we finally broke up. I always wondered if she ended up with him or some other big dick guy.

But one thing I know for sure - she NEVER fucked me like she did John and the things she said about John - the way she looked at him - and the way she was around him after that night (almost shy and meek) convinced me that a big dick makes a difference.

Amy told me that she "HAD to respect him" even if she didn't like him...and that she almost felt like he "had a right to her". So there ya go.

nice copy pasta brah

[Julia Roberts]

Originally Posted by Jake

Pornography


I'm not a doctor.

So much this

If this guy cut out the porn for 30 days I bet his magical powers would return. I also bet he can't go 3 days without porn.

[Tiduwho]

His girlfriend fucks his buddy and then he keeps dating her for another year

[salrx95]

fake story or not, when did Ants turn into Penthouse forum?

[Rebecca De Mornay]

Originally Posted by salrx95

fake story or not, when did Ants turn into Penthouse forum?

it was around february/march of 2012.

[salrx95]

Originally Posted by Rebecca De Mornay

it was around february/march of 2012.

Ahh. Gotcha. I blame Cornbread.

[Rebecca De Mornay]

Originally Posted by salrx95

Ahh. Gotcha. I blame Cornbread.

it was actually the candy thread. weird that it kind of rhymes though.

[sbuzzz]

We were roomates for that long and you still think my name is John? Damn, you are awful with names.

Kinda wordy with details though.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by salrx95

fake story or not, when did Ants turn into Penthouse forum?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=232105 oral sex and swallowing

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=327030 when I hear strangers having sex, I...

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=235951 Do you leave the door open when you poop and no one is home?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=232690 women: are you flattered when a guy finishes quickly during sex?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=258705 fleshlight?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=268972 ever been asked to be part of a threesome?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=279926 masturbation achievements

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=301100 women, how do you achieve O-face?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=236226 how many times a day do you poop?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=301095 how often do you fake orgasms?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=288748 better fake sex? fleshlight or weird asian egg thingy

[Rebecca De Mornay]

new thread idea: Does tiduwho have too much time on his hands?

[dre2142]

OP, get a new girl.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Rebecca De Mornay

new thread idea: Does tiduwho have too much time on his hands?

Thankfully copy-pasta

[salrx95]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=232105 oral sex and swallowing

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=327030 when I hear strangers having sex, I...

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=235951 Do you leave the door open when you poop and no one is home?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=232690 women: are you flattered when a guy finishes quickly during sex?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=258705 fleshlight?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=268972 ever been asked to be part of a threesome?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=279926 masturbation achievements

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=301100 women, how do you achieve O-face?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=236226 how many times a day do you poop?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=301095 how often do you fake orgasms?

http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=288748 better fake sex? fleshlight or weird asian egg thingy

1. My comment was mostly in gest

2. How or why did you pull threads with poop in the title?

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by salrx95

How or why did you pull threads with poop in the title?

Don't remember the context, just the post.

[K270]

Originally Posted by ThatLetter

I'm at the Dr. Because I either have the flu or a respiratory infection. There's a guy in the room next to mine (thin fucking walls) who is in his 20s who all of a sudden can't get it up with his girl. Feel bad for the guy but I suddenly feel better about my situation.

Ok, I'll be the nosy asshole who's gonna ask. What's your situation and why did you have to go to the doctor? Maybe the brilliant minds here at ants can help you through your situation.

[justink]

Originally Posted by K270

Ok, I'll be the nosy asshole who's gonna ask. What's your situation and why did you have to go to the doctor? Maybe the brilliant minds here at ants can help you through your situation.

clap.88888

[ThatLetter]

Originally Posted by K270

Ok, I'll be the nosy asshole who's gonna ask. What's your situation and why did you have to go to the doctor? Maybe the brilliant minds here at ants can help you through your situation.

I thought about running my symptoms by you guys and going with the consensus diagnosis. But I decided to take my chances with someone less professional.

I thought I probably had a sinus infection, which I do. Doc wanted to rule out flu since he's seen so much of it lately. Has anyone had the pleasure of the nasal swab flu test? I swear to god that bastard touched my brain with a q tip. I'll gladly never have that done again.

It was while I was waiting for the results of the test that I overheard the conversation. Guy in the other exam room found out he was diabetic. Anyway when whiskey dick was talking to the doctor it got really quite for a couple of minutes. I was glad when the doc came back in to tell me my test was negative that he didn't touch me because I'm pretty sure he was fiddling with the guy's junk.

[unccrombie]

Originally Posted by ThatLetter

I'm at the Dr. Because I either have the flu or a respiratory infection. There's a guy in the room next to mine (thin fucking walls) who is in his 20s who all of a sudden can't get it up with his girl. Feel bad for the guy but I suddenly feel better about my situation.

sounds like he realized she was a ugly whale.

[dmb9howell]

Thought this thread was about funny things we've all overheard at doctors offices. Working at a hospital I'm sure I've got a bunch.

[ThatLetter]

Originally Posted by dmb9howell

Thought this thread was about funny things we've all overheard at doctors offices. Working at a hospital I'm sure I've got a bunch.

Let us have some.

[justink]

Originally Posted by dmb9howell

Thought this thread was about funny things we've all overheard at doctors offices. Working at a hospital I'm sure I've got a bunch.

bring the lols howell!

[K270]

Originally Posted by ThatLetter

I thought about running my symptoms by you guys and going with the consensus diagnosis. But I decided to take my chances with someone less professional.

I thought I probably had a sinus infection, which I do. Doc wanted to rule out flu since he's seen so much of it lately. Has anyone had the pleasure of the nasal swab flu test? I swear to god that bastard touched my brain with a q tip. I'll gladly never have that done again.

Pour beer on it. You'll be cured

[Sonix Blastors]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

His girlfriend fucks his buddy and then he keeps dating her for another year

Makes him a cuckold