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Old 02-08-2016, 02:10 PM   #47521
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Re: Dating is miserable

Without going into the details of how, my mom works with someone who was once on The Bachelor (don't know the season, she's now 34) that thinks I'm "hot" and wants her to set us up for drinks. I told my mom that sounds like the worst idea I've ever heard.
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  • Old 02-08-2016, 02:16 PM   #47522
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Why? No it's not.
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    Old 02-08-2016, 02:17 PM   #47523
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    that sounds like a wonderful idea actually
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    Old 02-08-2016, 02:45 PM   #47524
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Bone the hot chick
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    Old 02-08-2016, 02:49 PM   #47525
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    It's too close to my mom's working environment. My mom is the executive assistant of a guy who is really, really wealthy and this girl is his soon to be wife's personal assistant. They communicate a lot, so I wouldn't want to be involved with that on any level.
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    You're right about the shift to the right that the board took after it reopened. And it's not even thoughtful righties, it's talk radio righties. Got no patience for them whatsoever. We'll see. Maybe I'll see what I can tolerate.
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    Old 02-08-2016, 02:57 PM   #47526
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    Re: Dating is miserable

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    Why? No it's not.

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    Old 02-08-2016, 10:33 PM   #47527
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Do it. You won't do it. Do it!
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    Old 02-09-2016, 01:05 PM   #47528
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rconverse View Post
    Without going into the details of how, my mom works with someone who was once on The Bachelor (don't know the season, she's now 34) that thinks I'm "hot" and wants her to set us up for drinks. I told my mom that sounds like the worst idea I've ever heard.
    Do it!!!

    Nah, I get it that would be tricky. I'm just curious who it is though!
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    Old 02-09-2016, 07:45 PM   #47529
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Girl I like at work said she doesn't mind hanging out but doesn't want to mislead me. Sucks, but her loss overall haha.
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    Old 02-11-2016, 02:38 AM   #47530
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    In full on crunch mode trying to get my shit together for my move to Denver ready for May. Dropped off the face of the earth with a couple of girls. They haven't taken too kindly to the 'ghosting.' It's worked out wonderfully in my favor of being able to keep my focus throughout the day and not have handfuls of frivolous text conversations going on for days on end with no end. Then, when you don't respond they get upset and wonder what went wrong.

    Just don't have the time for that sort of silliness. Especially when I won't even be here in 3 months.


    All that said, Houston and I have been clicking again. Conversations here and there over text that have a beginning, middle, and end. She makes the rest of the girls seem so pointless. I know that is probably a manifestation in my own mind, but i'll be damned if it doesn't feel real. I really hope she makes the jump to CO. I think we would both find happiness if that happened.
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    Old 02-12-2016, 12:52 AM   #47531
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Todefy View Post
    Girl I like at work said she doesn't mind hanging out but doesn't want to mislead me. Sucks, but her loss overall haha.
    Dipping your pen in company ink is always a dangerous game to play. Sounds like she handled it honestly and sounds like you've got the right attitude about it. Unfortunate but such is life. Good luck and post some more miserable dating adventures!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Speilmen230 View Post
    In full on crunch mode trying to get my shit together for my move to Denver ready for May. Dropped off the face of the earth with a couple of girls. They haven't taken too kindly to the 'ghosting.' It's worked out wonderfully in my favor of being able to keep my focus throughout the day and not have handfuls of frivolous text conversations going on for days on end with no end. Then, when you don't respond they get upset and wonder what went wrong.

    Just don't have the time for that sort of silliness. Especially when I won't even be here in 3 months.


    All that said, Houston and I have been clicking again. Conversations here and there over text that have a beginning, middle, and end. She makes the rest of the girls seem so pointless. I know that is probably a manifestation in my own mind, but i'll be damned if it doesn't feel real. I really hope she makes the jump to CO. I think we would both find happiness if that happened.
    Man, im not sure what to say here because you gotta do whatever it is that feels right for you but I'd tread very carefully here. Seems like she is a really good friend and even though you both probably have some feelings, the realities and pressures of trying to make it romantic are not to be underestimated. Especially if this is happening in a new city with new jobs for both of you.

    Only you can calculate this risk or reward, but if it was me, I would just focus on the new city and job and keep her as a close friend which is one of the greatest things in the world. Maybe I'm wrong but this situation just doesn't seem worth risking what you have.

    Maybe I'm completely wrong though. Just been through it and seen it happen before. Good luck dude!
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    Old 02-12-2016, 11:00 AM   #47532
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    She's got a job conference in CO at the end of may, when I'm supposed to be moving into the new apartment with my buddy.

    She has no idea what the conference will bring, but she really likes the idea of heading to CO next year. I have no idea how it will buff out. I do know that if anything comes about, it will be a slow train pulling out of the station. Neither of us want to fuck up our friendship, as we both realized after my trip to Houston that life spent trying to ignore one another absolutely sucks.

    That said, it is one of the reasons I'm so confident that this could work out if we finally make it to the same place at the same time and are both working and living independently of one another. Might give us the opportunity to 'date' so to say. Which would be something I would love to try out with her. I think we would both enjoy the novelty of going out on dates with one another.

    Way down deep in my gut, I feel like she is the woman I'll be waking up to when I'm 68. She has that forever quality.
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    Old 02-13-2016, 03:25 AM   #47533
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Fair play man, been there so if youre determined to give a romantic relationship a shot with her I'll give you some advice. Maybe others will disagree and hope someone else can give better advice. But for what it's worth...here's my .02. Most of this will seem like common sense but harder said than done. And of course I don't know all the details of your friendship and history, so take this for what it is, a strangers opinion.

    Lets assume everything falls into place she ends up moving to colorado. Moving to a new city and new job will be a lot of excitement and new people for her. You need to embrace and encourage her to spend time with her new coworkers and friends even if you're not a part of it. I know you said you would take it slowly...sounds simple but this is really important. You need to let her develop her own life and all the stress, fun and excitement of a new city. You need to be genuinely excited and happy for her without getting jealous or insecure or try to compete with her new friends. You have to accept that she will meet lots of new people, most of whom will be trying to hit on her. Thats what happens in new places and especially girls. You need to find a way to let her have fun in a new environment, while not being overbearing, but also not become the fallback guy. Its an intense, emotional, delicate situation. You need to find a way to have real dates because since you know each other so well you will need to show her new sides of you and give her butterflies and have that feeling of learning about someone and the nerves and feelings that make love so much fun. Its easy to fall into a routine of comfortability when you are already so close. Give her a chance to see and learn some new things about you.

    Inner, quiet confidence in yourself and do things or go new places together, dont be too serious and don't become too desperate or insecure if shes with new people. If the situation arises where things get weird, you gotta remember that you're playing the long game. Dont overreact orsay angry things. Be someone reliable and trustworthy who is always honest whatever situations you find your selves in.

    Seems so simple but I've been in this situation before with 2 different exes and messed it up. Expectations, pressure, excitement, stress, insecurity, miscommunication, timing...in the end, be positive, have fun and good luck.

    Sorry to ramble, but when youre so young and you say stuff like no other girls compare and this is the person you want to wake up to when you're old...just saying thats a lot of pressure on both of you. Step back and don't think so much about her, spend more time focused on yourself and doing little things that you enjoy which help you learn and grow. Focusing on one person and some imaginary life only makes you miss out and overlook some amazing people and experiences right now.

    Edit...this advice comes courtesy of 2 bottles of wine...

    Last edited by SmoothG; 02-13-2016 at 03:27 AM.
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    Old 02-13-2016, 09:53 AM   #47534
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I didn't read all of the above post but I think I agree for the most part. Move and look for someone new in CO. Don't let the girl from TX take over. Is she moving because she knows you are? If so, that's weird because you aren't moving in together so I don't really see the need to move right when you do. She's just using you to make herself feel good. She wants to know you are there when SHE wants you and she wants to know that she has a puppy. You are letting this be all about her and not about you.
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    Old 02-13-2016, 12:20 PM   #47535
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SmoothG View Post
    Fair play man, been there so if youre determined to give a romantic relationship a shot with her I'll give you some advice. Maybe others will disagree and hope someone else can give better advice. But for what it's worth...here's my .02. Most of this will seem like common sense but harder said than done. And of course I don't know all the details of your friendship and history, so take this for what it is, a strangers opinion.

    Lets assume everything falls into place she ends up moving to colorado. Moving to a new city and new job will be a lot of excitement and new people for her. You need to embrace and encourage her to spend time with her new coworkers and friends even if you're not a part of it. I know you said you would take it slowly...sounds simple but this is really important. You need to let her develop her own life and all the stress, fun and excitement of a new city. You need to be genuinely excited and happy for her without getting jealous or insecure or try to compete with her new friends. You have to accept that she will meet lots of new people, most of whom will be trying to hit on her. Thats what happens in new places and especially girls. You need to find a way to let her have fun in a new environment, while not being overbearing, but also not become the fallback guy. Its an intense, emotional, delicate situation. You need to find a way to have real dates because since you know each other so well you will need to show her new sides of you and give her butterflies and have that feeling of learning about someone and the nerves and feelings that make love so much fun. Its easy to fall into a routine of comfortability when you are already so close. Give her a chance to see and learn some new things about you.

    Inner, quiet confidence in yourself and do things or go new places together, dont be too serious and don't become too desperate or insecure if shes with new people. If the situation arises where things get weird, you gotta remember that you're playing the long game. Dont overreact orsay angry things. Be someone reliable and trustworthy who is always honest whatever situations you find your selves in.

    Seems so simple but I've been in this situation before with 2 different exes and messed it up. Expectations, pressure, excitement, stress, insecurity, miscommunication, timing...in the end, be positive, have fun and good luck.

    Sorry to ramble, but when youre so young and you say stuff like no other girls compare and this is the person you want to wake up to when you're old...just saying thats a lot of pressure on both of you. Step back and don't think so much about her, spend more time focused on yourself and doing little things that you enjoy which help you learn and grow. Focusing on one person and some imaginary life only makes you miss out and overlook some amazing people and experiences right now.

    Edit...this advice comes courtesy of 2 bottles of wine...
    Thank you, Smooth. Regardless of whether this came from being two bottles deep, I appreciate the perspective and insight. I need to print this off or something because there are honestly a lot of things that translate outside of just this girl to other areas in life.

    Quote:
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    I didn't read all of the above post but I think I agree for the most part. Move and look for someone new in CO. Don't let the girl from TX take over. Is she moving because she knows you are? If so, that's weird because you aren't moving in together so I don't really see the need to move right when you do. She's just using you to make herself feel good. She wants to know you are there when SHE wants you and she wants to know that she has a puppy. You are letting this be all about her and not about you.
    It is by far the most complex relationship I have ever maintained. I'm focused 100% on me right now, but I'll be over the moon on the inside if the conference goes well. She wouldn't be making a move until the end of this year or sometime next year. She and I have talked about Colorado many times in the past, well before my buddy and I decided to pull the trigger. It just so happens that it is kinda working out that she has a job conference at the end of May when I will moving in. She has no idea what she wants to do. She hates Houston and she has tried San Diego twice. She would never come back to Cincinnati, and she has an opportunity in Florida at Bush Gardens but that is attached to a guy who has expectations.

    She said that she would consider taking a regular job instead of one in her field because the last 3 moves have been job over location based decisions, and none have worked out. I think more than anything she is just wanting to find happiness, and it has eluded her for the better part of 4 years now. Basically ever since she left Cincinnati.
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    Old 02-13-2016, 04:43 PM   #47536
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    My advice; don't listen to anyone's advice. Paradoxical? Maybe. Do what you want to do. If stuff goes haywire, so what. There are no dress rehearsals in life.

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    Old 02-13-2016, 11:35 PM   #47537
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SmoothG View Post
    Dipping your pen in company ink is always a dangerous game to play. Sounds like she handled it honestly and sounds like you've got the right attitude about it. Unfortunate but such is life. Good luck and post some more miserable dating adventures!
    It's definitely risky haha. I'm glad she was straight up about it but I won't lie to myself that I'm still hopeful for more.

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    My advice; don't listen to anyone's advice. Paradoxical? Maybe. Do what you want to do. If stuff goes haywire, so what. There are no dress rehearsals in life.
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    Old 02-14-2016, 04:24 AM   #47538
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    Re: Dating is miserable

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    She's just using you to make herself feel good. She wants to know you are there when SHE wants you and she wants to know that she has a puppy. You are letting this be all about her and not about you.
    So much this. Seems harsh but this is whats happening, imo. I've been this guy before and always thought that love meant doing anything for love and someone. And it's hard to believe someone you love would do this kind of thing. But the writing is on the wall man. Seems like she's taking advantage of your feelings for her own confidence boost...Whenever wants to and you're getting walked over a bit and letting her do it. I'm sure she is an amazing friend and person and if you want to go all in, I understand and support that because I've done it too. Just take a step back and make yourself the priority.

    Denver is a fucking amazing place to be young and single! You gotta stop comparing girls to her because when your infatuated with someone you'll find reasons someone isn't as good. Work, tinder, online, whatever. Meet new people and give them an honest chance.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Speilmen230 View Post
    Thank you, Smooth. Regardless of whether this came from being two bottles deep, I appreciate the perspective and insight. I need to print this off or something because there are honestly a lot of things that translate outside of just this girl to other areas in life.



    It is by far the most complex relationship I have ever maintained. I'm focused 100% on me right now, but I'll be over the moon on the inside if the conference goes well. She wouldn't be making a move until the end of this year or sometime next year. She and I have talked about Colorado many times in the past, well before my buddy and I decided to pull the trigger. It just so happens that it is kinda working out that she has a job conference at the end of May when I will moving in. She has no idea what she wants to do. She hates Houston and she has tried San Diego twice. She would never come back to Cincinnati, and she has an opportunity in Florida at Bush Gardens but that is attached to a guy who has expectations.

    She said that she would consider taking a regular job instead of one in her field because the last 3 moves have been job over location based decisions, and none have worked out. I think more than anything she is just wanting to find happiness, and it has eluded her for the better part of 4 years now. Basically ever since she left Cincinnati.
    What if she doesn't move or not for a long time? Take it from someone who spent years getting strung along...It's tough to look back and regret not spending that time to work on myself.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DeuceStep View Post
    My advice; don't listen to anyone's advice. Paradoxical? Maybe. Do what you want to do. If stuff goes haywire, so what. There are no dress rehearsals in life.
    I mean, this is true, however if you ever have the opportunity to listen to people who have some experience and hopefully a variety of different opinions, it would be silly not to listen. There are a lot of wise and intelligent people out there, talk to your family, friends and acquaintances for differnt perspectives, but yeah, at the end of the day, do whatever you want to. Mistakes are part of life and sometimes you just have to take some chances.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Todefy View Post
    It's definitely risky haha. I'm glad she was straight up about it but I won't lie to myself that I'm still hopeful for more.



    Ive never actually banged a coworker but I'd love to. At this point in my life I'm all about checking things off my list. I'd like to try some things and girls that are completely different than I've had. Sometimes it's surprising to discover something new you never thought you'd expect. I was shocked the first time a girl told me to choke her, but turned out to be wild. Highly recommended.

    Ive been with canadian, american, australian, chilean, chinese, finnish, german, english and Spanish girls. Would like to add someone from Africa. And someone older than me. Maybe a ginger too! And definitely want to add the mile High club!
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    Old 02-14-2016, 01:01 PM   #47539
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Happy VDay to everyone. I choo-choo-choose you!
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    Old 02-14-2016, 01:35 PM   #47540
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    If she doesn't come to Denver, that's cool. I'm going regardless with my best friend. He and I are going to do our film stuff and go explore the mountains. I'm beyond stoked. If she does come out, I don't foresee a situation where we don't work out. I'm a hopeless romantic though, so I always try to be optimistic about these things.

    Life is good right now. Busy as fuck, but good. I've got a lot of great things going on, and no reason to complain or to not be hopeful for the future.
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    Old 02-14-2016, 08:06 PM   #47541
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Valentine's Day kind sucked today. We were supposed to go out for a nice breakfast to this place she always wanted to try and I've been sick like a dog the last few days. I'll make it up to her next weekend.

    At least we got each other nice gifts and she really loved the card and note I wrote. Things couldn't be any better and I can't believe we're coming up on two years already.
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    Old 02-14-2016, 08:09 PM   #47542
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Very relaxed VDay for us, no pressure to go out and do things if we don't want to anymore. I got him Beerfest tickets and he got me chocolate and roses. Had dinner at home and also had some good sex. Can't complain.
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    Old 02-14-2016, 09:23 PM   #47543
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Speilmen230 View Post
    If she does come out, I don't foresee a situation where we don't work out.
    Nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic and being optimistic but that sort of pressure and expectations are a set up for some disappointment and a rough time.

    Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. She's keeping her options open and you're her comfortable fallback for when she needs some confidence and knows how to get it.

    Don't mean to be so harsh and maybe I'm way off but you need to move her waaay down your priority list, in my opinion.

    Being friends with her is one thing but you gotta get her outta your head!


    Quote:
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    Valentine's Day kind sucked today. We were supposed to go out for a nice breakfast to this place she always wanted to try and I've been sick like a dog the last few days. I'll make it up to her next weekend.

    At least we got each other nice gifts and she really loved the card and note I wrote. Things couldn't be any better and I can't believe we're coming up on two years already.
    Sounds like a quality day and I'm sure a nice little note is more important than going to breakfast.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AllifromOhio View Post
    Very relaxed VDay for us, no pressure to go out and do things if we don't want to anymore. I got him Beerfest tickets and he got me chocolate and roses. Had dinner at home and also had some good sex. Can't complain.
    Sounds pretty good. Nice home cooked meal at home an some quality coitus would make me very happy!

    I got this beautiful argentinian girls number even though she lives a few hours away. Hope to go out with her in a few weeks!
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    Old 02-18-2016, 09:45 AM   #47544
    Alazais
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Valentines day sucked.

    We didn't have hot water for a a couple of days. This means we didn't shower for a couple of days. I had no idea how important showering is to the health of a relationship. We had a brutal fight on valentines day. To the point where I considered going to a friends place for the night all because we were stinky and grumpy.

    We are alright now but that was a terrible time.
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    Old 02-22-2016, 12:45 AM   #47545
    SmoothG
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Alazais View Post
    Valentines day sucked.

    We didn't have hot water for a a couple of days. This means we didn't shower for a couple of days. I had no idea how important showering is to the health of a relationship. We had a brutal fight on valentines day. To the point where I considered going to a friends place for the night all because we were stinky and grumpy.

    We are alright now but that was a terrible time.
    Rough man. Better now I hope.

    Fighting is part of the game, but for me the important part is how they fight. And how the recovery process goes. Sometimes a 'healthy' fight can be cleansing and put some closure to some pent up emotions and bring you closer.

    However, some people, including my ex were nasty to people to argue with. Loud, angry, aggressive, off topic, bringing up old and unrelated disagreements. Every little argument was the end, making unfair and unrealistic comparisons and accusations. But the worst thing was walking on eggshells because I never knew what would set her off.

    Very unhealthy but best sex ever.

    Side note...whenever I see your username I cant stop myself from singing juicy by biggie.
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    Old 02-22-2016, 11:55 AM   #47546
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SmoothG View Post
    Rough man. Better now I hope.

    Fighting is part of the game, but for me the important part is how they fight. And how the recovery process goes. Sometimes a 'healthy' fight can be cleansing and put some closure to some pent up emotions and bring you closer.

    However, some people, including my ex were nasty to people to argue with. Loud, angry, aggressive, off topic, bringing up old and unrelated disagreements. Every little argument was the end, making unfair and unrealistic comparisons and accusations. But the worst thing was walking on eggshells because I never knew what would set her off.

    Very unhealthy but best sex ever.

    Side note...whenever I see your username I cant stop myself from singing juicy by biggie.

    Worth it! Hope you kept her around for awhile
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    Old 02-22-2016, 02:21 PM   #47547
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Girl from work asked me out yesterday, pretty much out of the blue. She's cute seems cool. I got involved with a girl from a job many years ago, did not work out and it was a fucking disaster as we had to be around each other all the time. This time though, I don't see this girl that often as she works in a different unit. May as well give it a shot and see what happens.
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    Old 02-24-2016, 09:46 PM   #47548
    AllifromOhio
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Today is our 3 year. Pretty crazy how quickly time passes and how much I've changed.
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    Old 02-25-2016, 01:39 AM   #47549
    SmoothG
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bartender_man View Post
    Girl from work asked me out yesterday, pretty much out of the blue. She's cute seems cool. I got involved with a girl from a job many years ago, did not work out and it was a fucking disaster as we had to be around each other all the time. This time though, I don't see this girl that often as she works in a different unit. May as well give it a shot and see what happens.
    Any update? Im at a point in life where I'm in no position to say to a cute girl who asked me out regardless of whether or not i worked with them. Different departments is definitely better.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AllifromOhio View Post
    Today is our 3 year. Pretty crazy how quickly time passes and how much I've changed.
    Congrats. Do anything to celebrate? How old are you if you don't mind me asking? One of those true but cheesy life sayings about how everyday/week/month go by without seeming like anything has changed but when you look back everything is different.
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    Old 02-25-2016, 07:15 AM   #47550
    AllifromOhio
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    I'm 26, will be 27 next week.
    We went to one of those Brazillian Steakhouses where they bring the meat over on swords and cut it off. It was nice and we went there last year for our anniversary too.
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