Dating is miserable

[dmbgodagirl41]

At the gym yesterday, John stopped me (we never talk at the gym) as I was heading to the front desk to work and told me that he was thinking the whole day about how he was a total jerk and that he's sorry. He even admitted to the reason why he didn't want to come over was because he's not a huge fan of being out on a Sunday, and he uses Sunday nights to wind down and prep for the week.

Goddammit. Now I can't be mad at him anymore. I told him that I appreciated the apology and he's forgiven. A mental note is still made to see if this was a one-time freak thing.

His ego is a bit crushed right now, but eventually, I'm telling him that I would have understood if he'd just declined the invite with the above reason. I'm not (all that) insane.

[RJP2741]

I think you still need to just lay it out there. I'm getting sick of this "will they / won't they" crap and I'm just reading it, so I can only imagine how you feel. Just see what's what and move on accordingly from there.

[dmbmuskie]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

At the gym yesterday, John stopped me (we never talk at the gym) as I was heading to the front desk to work and told me that he was thinking the whole day about how he was a total jerk and that he's sorry. He even admitted to the reason why he didn't want to come over was because he's not a huge fan of being out on a Sunday, and he uses Sunday nights to wind down and prep for the week.

Goddammit. Now I can't be mad at him anymore. I told him that I appreciated the apology and he's forgiven. A mental note is still made to see if this was a one-time freak thing.

His ego is a bit crushed right now, but eventually, I'm telling him that I would have understood if he'd just declined the invite with the above reason. I'm not (all that) insane.

Is this guy Ed Cullen?

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by RJP2741

I think you still need to just lay it out there. I'm getting sick of this "will they / won't they" crap and I'm just reading it, so I can only imagine how you feel. Just see what's what and move on accordingly from there.

I'm sick of it, too. I'm sick of talking about it and reporting about his lack of brain function. It's infuriating.

Originally Posted by dmbmuskie

Is this guy Ed Cullen?

[dmbmuskie]

I just outed myself as seeing Twilight. Man card turned in.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by dmbmuskie

I just outed myself as seeing Twilight. Man card turned in.

I also love that you called him "ed" cullen, not edward cullen. ahhahahahaaa

[wnderwoman]

Ugg stay the eff away from him, he's annoying me all the way in CA. And I still stand by what I said.

[aronofsky41]

Originally Posted by wnderwoman

Ugg stay the eff away from him, he's annoying me all the way in CA. And I still stand by what I said.

If a female friend of yours e-mails you pics of her in her underwear, is she flirting?

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by wnderwoman

Ugg stay the eff away from him, he's annoying me all the way in CA. And I still stand by what I said.

Yeah, it's nice he apologized, but as far as I'm concerned, if he wants to hang out with me or see me, he needs to 1. let me know and 2. put in effort that shows he wants to spend time with me. He's no longer getting invitations from me to do anything. As far as I'm concerned, I've done too much already.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by aronofsky41

If a female friend of yours e-mails you pics of her in her underwear, is she flirting?

Depends on how long you've known her and what kind of relationship you two have.

I send pictures of my underwear to Nick all the time, but more for "hey, will these get me laid" or "how fucking annoying is the glitter on this shit?" purposes, and it doesn't mean I want his P in my V.

[water_into_wine]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

At the gym yesterday, John stopped me (we never talk at the gym) as I was heading to the front desk to work and told me that he was thinking the whole day about how he was a total jerk and that he's sorry. He even admitted to the reason why he didn't want to come over was because he's not a huge fan of being out on a Sunday, and he uses Sunday nights to wind down and prep for the week.

Goddammit. Now I can't be mad at him anymore. I told him that I appreciated the apology and he's forgiven. A mental note is still made to see if this was a one-time freak thing.

His ego is a bit crushed right now, but eventually, I'm telling him that I would have understood if he'd just declined the invite with the above reason. I'm not (all that) insane.

Really lame excuse.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

At the gym yesterday, John stopped me (we never talk at the gym) as I was heading to the front desk to work and told me that he was thinking the whole day about how he was a total jerk and that he's sorry. He even admitted to the reason why he didn't want to come over was because he's not a huge fan of being out on a Sunday, and he uses Sunday nights to wind down and prep for the week.

Goddammit. Now I can't be mad at him anymore. I told him that I appreciated the apology and he's forgiven. A mental note is still made to see if this was a one-time freak thing.

His ego is a bit crushed right now, but eventually, I'm telling him that I would have understood if he'd just declined the invite with the above reason. I'm not (all that) insane.

Katie, he's being "nice" on a similar way that girls are "nice" to guys in the friend zone. He's completely non-committal but still feels bad. You are falling into the trap by no longer being mad at him and accepting hhis apology. Here's the thing, I love winding down from the work week as well, but if I'm interested in a girl I am dropping everything.

You are rationalizing a shitty situation. Time to man up and cut him off from your mind.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by water_into_wine

Really lame excuse.

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Katie, he's being "nice" on a similar way that girls are "nice" to guys in the friend zone. He's completely non-committal but still feels bad. You are falling into the trap by no longer being mad at him and accepting hhis apology. Here's the thing, I love winding down from the work week as well, but if I'm interested in a girl I am dropping everything.

You are rationalizing a shitty situation. Time to man up and cut him off from your mind.

Both of these are correct. I think I meant I forgive him in the sense that I'm no longer mad at him. I appreciate the ego blow it takes to admit you were an ass. By no means does "I forgive him" mean "welp, he totally likes me because he said sorry!"

Moving on to Hottie Rob.

[aronofsky41]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

Depends on how long you've known her and what kind of relationship you two have.

I send pictures of my underwear to Nick all the time, but more for "hey, will these get me laid" or "how fucking annoying is the glitter on this shit?" purposes, and it doesn't mean I want his P in my V.

Hmmm. Good point. What if the caption is, "You have no idea how bad I want you to kiss me everywhere." ?

[mbuttercup7]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Katie, he's being "nice" on a similar way that girls are "nice" to guys in the friend zone. He's completely non-committal but still feels bad. You are falling into the trap by no longer being mad at him and accepting hhis apology. Here's the thing, I love winding down from the work week as well, but if I'm interested in a girl I am dropping everything.

You are rationalizing a shitty situation. Time to man up and cut him off from your mind.

Agree. At this point in the game if he wanted more from you it would've happened. I really can't believe he's THAT stupid that he just doesn't know what to do.

[mbuttercup7]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

Both of these are correct. I think I meant I forgive him in the sense that I'm no longer mad at him. I appreciate the ego blow it takes to admit you were an ass. By no means does "I forgive him" mean "welp, he totally likes me because he said sorry!"

Moving on to Hottie Rob.

Yes!!

Originally Posted by aronofsky41

Hmmm. Good point. What if the caption is, "You have no idea how bad I want you to kiss me everywhere." ?

Um, are you seriously asking?

[aronofsky41]

Originally Posted by mbuttercup7

Yes!!


Um, are you seriously asking?

haha. I just wanna make sure I'm not reading too much into things. Sometimes I do that. I think in this case I'm good though.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by aronofsky41

Hmmm. Good point. What if the caption is, "You have no idea how bad I want you to kiss me everywhere." ?

John, is that you?

Originally Posted by mbuttercup7

Yes!!


Um, are you seriously asking?

Photo proof of Hottie Rob. Come at me, bro.
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d1.../HottieRob.jpg

[mbuttercup7]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

John, is that you?



Photo proof of Hottie Rob. Come at me, bro.
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d1.../HottieRob.jpg

He's cute!! And a little cold....

[mbuttercup7]

Originally Posted by UTTAD83

I am still working, that's how crazy my day has been. I missed all this wonderful shit though Katie, I agree with everyone else, don't be passive aggressive. Let him know how you feel or felt, and call him out on his bullshit. Or her bullshit, if you will.


Michelle, lol you have a boyfriend This is going to be interesting to watch develop.

I really don't think it's that yet though. We're still "just friends" but he wanted to let me know he wouldn't disrepect me by seeing other girls while he's seeing me. Which I thought was pretty darn sweet. But yes, it will be interesting to watch develop.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by mbuttercup7

He's cute!! And a little cold....

You're now the second girl to notice that/have that be her reaction when seeing the picture. ha ha man-nipples are funny.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by mbuttercup7

I really don't think it's that yet though. We're still "just friends" but he wanted to let me know he wouldn't disrepect me by seeing other girls while he's seeing me. Which I thought was pretty darn sweet. But yes, it will be interesting to watch develop.

"just friends" don't see each other, COME ON! /Gob Bluthe

[mbuttercup7]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

"just friends" don't see each other, COME ON! /Gob Bluthe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP_9zH9Q44o


This dating stuff is confusing.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by mbuttercup7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP_9zH9Q44o


This dating stuff is confusing.

hahaha great montage. I died at the "fuck you!"

Dating is confusing, and it's miserable.

[lockman21]

Come on over here, I got a vitamin for ya...

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by lockman21

Come on over here, I got a vitamin for ya...

*charlie brown theme walk-away*

[lockman21]

Serious note though, Katie, why the fuck are you still bothering with this guy?

[UTTAD83]

Should should shoulda shoulda should shou shoulda should should should sh sh sh sh sh

[Tiduwho]

Me and the new female are officially "dating". She keeps saying how she never dives into a relationship like this. But hey, things are going good.

The one negative that came up last night I think has no been resolved already. Basically, here's the deal: the one guy she seriously dated (over 1 year) and her broke up about 3 years ago. However, after graduation this past May, they started hanging out after not talking for 3 years and had a month long "fling". Since then, he moved to California, and she moved on.

However, he was supposed to be coming home for the holidays, and before she met me, she had made plans with him to go to the art museum in Milwaukee the 28th, and then back to her place where she was going to cook dinner and no feelings "yeah" was probably going to commence.

She told me about all this last night, and about how she wanted to cancel now since meeting me, but she seemed a little conflicted. She has that all too familiar girl problem of being "too nice". Leaving the door open. Can't just put it out there. So she was going to say "it's not a good day" and cancel on him. Now, last night I didn't make too big a deal of it, even though I was in my head thinking and wondering "okay...umm...what the heck" for a bit. My friend Lisa agreed it was a bit sketchy, and that if she was seeing me, well, then she should TELL other guys she's seeing someone. Rather than tiptoe around it and keep them thinking that they can get in her pants another day.

Tonight though, I came out and laid it out there that I don't deal with ex's and she completely shifted gears...and then texted him that she was seeing someone. After being momentarily conflicted (I could see the "I have two paths laid out in front of me, the Old Flame or the New Irresistible Too-Good-To-Be-True guy, and I'm about to pick one" look on her face), she was happy and all over me the rest of the night.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Me and the new female are officially "dating". She keeps saying how she never dives into a relationship like this. But hey, things are going good.

The one negative that came up last night I think has now been resolved already. Basically, here's the deal: She's had one serious relationship in her life (was over 1 year). They broke up about 3 years ago. However, after graduation this past May, they started hanging out after not talking for 3 years and had a month long "fling". Since then, he moved to California, and she moved on.

However, he was supposed to be coming home for the holidays, and before she met me, she had made plans with him to go to the art museum in Milwaukee the 28th, and then back to her place where she was going to cook dinner and I'm getting the impression that some no feelings "yeah" was probably going to commence.

She told me about all this last night, and about how she wanted to cancel now since meeting me, but she seemed a little unsure. She has that all too familiar girl problem of being "too nice" i.e. leaving the door open instead of closing it. Can't just put it out there. So to cancel she was just going to say "it's not a good day" and that's it. Now, last night I didn't make too big a deal of it, even though I was in my head thinking and wondering "okay...umm...what the heck" for a bit. My friend Lisa agreed it was a bit sketchy, and that if she was seeing me, well, then she should TELL other guys she's seeing someone. Rather than tiptoe around it and keep them thinking that they can get in her pants another day.

Tonight though, I came out and laid it out there that I don't deal with ex's and she completely shifted gears...and then texted him that she was seeing someone. After being momentarily conflicted (I could see the "I have two paths laid out in front of me, the Old Flame or the New Irresistible Too-Good-To-Be-True guy, and I'm about to pick one" look on her face), she was happy and all over me the rest of the night.

Lesson to those at the start of a relationship:

Make your feelings clear right from the get-go if an issue comes up. Don't be thinking about "not offending her", be thinking about standing up for yourself. Girls will not only respect you for it, they will likely find you more attractive.