Dating is miserable

[SmoothG]

Originally Posted by redsox14

Well, I have to go break up with somebody...

I've been dating someone since late Nov or early Dec. We dated a bit last year and I broke it off, but he was persistant so I gave him another chance.

He said I love you and I definitely don't feel the same way so now I have to break his heart. UGH I Hate this part of dating...

Good for you. It's not a fun thing to do but one of the shittiest things that someone can do is continue a dead relationship going. I've been on the other side and I really wish that the other person had been more honest and ended it instead of dragging an obviously dead relationship on for longer than it should have. Better for both people. Always a bit awkward but best to be honest and direct and don't let the conversion go on for too long. Say what you want and walk away.

Did you already do it? How did it go, how did he take it?

[redsox14]

Originally Posted by SmoothG

Good for you. It's not a fun thing to do but one of the shittiest things that someone can do is continue a dead relationship going. I've been on the other side and I really wish that the other person had been more honest and ended it instead of dragging an obviously dead relationship on for longer than it should have. Better for both people. Always a bit awkward but best to be honest and direct and don't let the conversion go on for too long. Say what you want and walk away.

Did you already do it? How did it go, how did he take it?

I haven't done it yet. I feel he at least deserves me doing it in person. He lives about an hour away and I've been busy every night for a week but I need to get it done soon.

I too have been on the other side so I agree it's much better to do it sooner rather than later but I have to work all day today and tonight, tomorrow I am going to March Madness and Friday I am working all day and night so unfortunately it's going to have to wait a few more days unless I decide to do it over the phone

[cry_minarets458]

I would do it now just in case you encounter some march madness

[redsox14]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

I would do it now just in case you encounter some march madness

Ooh la la. It is St Pattys day tomorrow after all!

[rconverse]

Originally Posted by redsox14

I haven't done it yet. I feel he at least deserves me doing it in person. He lives about an hour away and I've been busy every night for a week but I need to get it done soon.

I too have been on the other side so I agree it's much better to do it sooner rather than later but I have to work all day today and tonight, tomorrow I am going to March Madness and Friday I am working all day and night so unfortunately it's going to have to wait a few more days unless I decide to do it over the phone

Did this happen?

[redsox14]

Originally Posted by rconverse

Did this happen?

Not yet, but today is the day! Wish me luck, i'll let you gys know how it goes

[angelces]

teh worst.

[Roose13]

I have a kinda funny story to tell.

I remember more than two years ago I wrote about this girl I had been talking to who I "met" off POF. By that I mean we never met in person because every time I tried to set up a date with her she would find some weird excuse to bail on me. It wasn't a catfish thing or anything like that. She was just a flake.

Around the time I started dating my current girlfriend this other girl would text me and message me and ask me shit like what I saw in her that I didn't with her. I remember telling her that my girlfriend has a job, never flaked on me, has a car and drives, acts like an adult and all this other shit and never really heard from her since.

Fast forward to last month, I get a friend request on FB from this chick. Two days before sending me the friend request she moved to Texas and got engaged to some dude. My entire timeline, since I recently friended her, was just filled with engagement bull shit... typical stuff by an overly excited person. I noticed the last couple days her shit wasn't showing up in my timeline. She unfriended me

So did she just randomly friend me so I could see she was engaged, further proving to me I dodged a bullet? Or was it just some weird coincidence.

Either way, man I dodged a bullet.

[Roose13]

Post for reference http://antsmarching.org/forum/showpo...ostcount=45642

[dmbetc]

Originally Posted by redsox14

Not yet, but today is the day! Wish me luck, i'll let you gys know how it goes

Well, did he think it was an April Fools joke??

[dmbetc]

Roose, that's an awesome story. There's not logical reason why she friended you other than to "rub it in your face" that she's engaged. Which is so so sad.

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by dmbetc

Roose, that's an awesome story. There's not logical reason why she friended you other than to "rub it in your face" that she's engaged. Which is so so sad.

I'm just glad to know I'm not crazy.

But what exactly is she rubbing in my face? I guess you can't understand the logic of crazy.

[dmbetc]

Originally Posted by Roose13

I'm just glad to know I'm not crazy.

But what exactly is she rubbing in my face? I guess you can't understand the logic of crazy.

Yeah...don't even try.

[bartender_man]

Girl I'm dating seems to have a pretty big drinking problem.....Not good at all. Don't think she wants to get help. May need to end it.

[Roose13]

Have you talked to her about it? If she doesn't want help, give her an ultimatum - either the bottle or me.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Have you talked to her about it? If she doesn't want help, give her an ultimatum - either the bottle or me.

We've talked yeah. She says I'm going to quit drinking but then few days later, she's fucking smashed again. I think I am going to have to do that ultimatum yes.

[Roose13]

That's a shame. Alcohol changes people. I see it first hand.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by Roose13

That's a shame. Alcohol changes people. I see it first hand.

Yeah it's sad

[cry_minarets458]

Ultimatums aren't the way to go in this situation. If you like her and see a potential, support her. But she won't get help until she's ready, If ever. If that's something that you're not willing to wait around for, walk away. Don't give an ultimatum.

[bartender_man]

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

Ultimatums aren't the way to go in this situation. If you like her and see a potential, support her. But she won't get help until she's ready, If ever. If that's something that you're not willing to wait around for, walk away. Don't give an ultimatum.

Yeah Wise words.....She needs A.A but yup, can't force her. She has to do it for herself first....

Thanks for your post.

[ybatuba]

Its a bummer when she says that she loves you, but you don't really feel that yet, or want to hear that now.

[Speilmen230]

Had a great text conversation with Houston today. She is going to visit me in Denver in the fall, September/October ballpark.

I'm not sure when we will eventually end up living in the same place at the same time, but Spirit airlines runs flights from Houston to Denver & vise versa for $79. That alone makes it super easy to visit one another. I'm hopeful. I think she is coming around on everything that surrounds us. Life is good. She's the girl. I just feel it.

[cry_minarets458]

I'm glad you feel good and I'm hopeful it works out for you, but I think you're setting yourself up. Just my gut instinct

[bamadavefan15]

That was mine too. But who am I.

[Rodey]

Yeah, it really kind of seems like she's jerking you around Spiel, and not in the good way. But best of luck.

[SmoothG]

Originally Posted by redsox14

Not yet, but today is the day! Wish me luck, i'll let you gys know how it goes

I need some closure here...did this ever happen?

Originally Posted by cry_minarets458

I'm glad you feel good and I'm hopeful it works out for you, but I think you're setting yourself up. Just my gut instinct

Originally Posted by Rodey

Yeah, it really kind of seems like she's jerking you around Spiel, and not in the good way. But best of luck.

Agreed. Hope we're all wrong and it works out for you, but just seems all wrong to me.

[cry_minarets458]

Originally Posted by SmoothG

I need some closure here...did this ever happen?

I'll fill it in for her. No. But they haven't talked in weeks, so the silence served as the hammer

[Speilmen230]

Obviously I hope everyone here is wrong. But it is going to be what it is. I'm in love, that's the honest truth, I love this woman. I don't know how else to put it...

[dmbetc]

Jesse, I've seen you already put so much time into this girl and have gotten nowhere. I think you love the idea of her. You haven't even been in a relationship with her, how can you be in love with her and know she's the one? Maybe she is, but don't put all your eggs in one basket is what I'm saying.

You're moving to a new place, lots of new exciting opportunities! Don't be blinded by a fantasy.

[Speilmen230]

All truth, Sarah. She just feels different. Thats the best way to describe it. When she texts me my heart flutters and each message means more than the regular run of the mill girls. I've been following her for 5 years. When I saw her I was dating another girl and asked her "who's that??" She's just been different than the others. I'm honestly OK with the idea of spinning out chasing after her. She's worth it in my mind. I've been with plenty of other girls since meeting her and none of them match up. Maybe I'm completely lost in a feeling and don't see the craziness in my ways, but right now she feels like the girl I could purpose to. I'm in love. I've been in love. When she was engaged to a girl and then fucking another dude in the other room in SD, it never changed my feelings. She's the one. I'll continue to chase her down until my heart gets shattered. That's all I really can do. I don't know how else to approach the situation. She owns my attention.