Re: What traumatic events have shaped you as a person?
My half-brother was killed by a drunk driver when I was 6. He was 17. My father was in the crash, too, but he survived with wrist and back injuries. Still, the way he and my mom reacted to that shaped them and shaped the way they raised me in ways that are innumerable.
I had a gf in high school. We went out after I'd had a massive crush on her for a long time. It didn't end well. To say I handled that poorly is an understatement of staggering proportions, spiraling down into a pit of anger, hurt, depression and more. It took far too long, but eventually, I sought the help I needed. Still, I think something good came of it. She realized she is bi after we split. Her first gf and I are friends to this day. I grew up with parents (dad in particular) who were strongly homophobic, so to go through that was painful and something I felt I had to keep secret from them, but seeing the hardships they had to endure with their families at that age made me so compassionate toward and impassioned about LGBT rights. I'm more proud of the work I've done as a journalist to talk about LGBT issues and the lives of LGBT people, particularly those in the military, than anything else.
My mom's had a lot of health issues during the past 15 years, including surgery on both hips last year as well as a rare neurological condition that requires her to have a pacemaker. She sat/laid in bed for the better part of a year while she was going from doctor to doctor to diagnose it. I was in college and out of the house then, but I think seeing her have to go from that, even from afar, made me a more empathetic person.
My dad died in 2010. I felt like I had to shoulder more responsibility, start acting and living like an adult. I feel like it made me sit up and think a lot more about the long term, although I haven't really done much to change the circumstances of my life (same job, same apartment). I do feel, however, like mentally and emotionally, I've become a whole different person — much more self-aware, empathetic, somewhere between an agnostic and a Buddhist. (Secular Buddhist, maybe?) I still feel on the cusp of big change, inspired further by the results and aftermath of the election, which has hit me incredibly hard.
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