Literally not home after Irvine yet. I am fucking tired and still drunk. Decided after a last minute discussion with this chick i smushed in college who goes to UCLA to fly out there cuz she had some pit tix and shit. From here on out she will be referred to as california bithc.
I hop off the plane at LAX with my dream and a cardigan. Too be perfectly honest being a southern guy i wasnt sure if i was going to fit in. But sure enough when i got there the Jay Z song came on my I pod and i started nodding my head like yea. It was at this point that I knew everything was going to be ok.
So california bitch picks me up from the airport. We then drive over to meet up with some of her friends. The good thing about UCLA is there are smoking hot bitches everywhere. It really looks like that scene in Entourage where turtle is just got fine poon all around him. So we meet up and start drinking. I look to my left and this bro hands me an ice. I get down on one knee and chug. About an hour later this other bro starts eyeballing vodka. I try it. I get fucking hammered and my eye is still burning... We then leave to go to tailgate...
We get to tailgate and I meet up with my brother and his ginger. They are nice and we have a good time. We bong some beers make a whiskey rope for the show and get d-railed. I am now stoned Drunk and can barely see out of my left eye. Ginger steps ina puddle of pee that brother and i created with urine and was not pleased. But fuck it U gotta hose u should use it right?
Go into the pit around 7 AM... and had my girl lead the way all the way to the front. We pretended we knew someone but really we jsut went to the front because she was so hot and no one is really going to tell a hot bitch no. We end up being right in front of Boyds pubes.
Minarets- Have my first mini bottle of bourbon. I drink it. One of my favortie songs on Remember Two Thingz. Me and Boyd were in the same fraternity and I have a Sigma Nu tattoo so i show it to him. He laughs and gives me a thumbs up. Great version.
Shake Me- Me and California Bitch start to grind to this one. I tell her that if she is lucky i will lick her from her back to her belly and rim job the shit out of her. She tells me gross
Proudest Monkey- Sweet soft version. I like back to back monkey songs. I was hoping for monkey man but sure enough
Sattelite- I hit the falsetto. Dave sees me dancing all crazy like and winks at me. He knows a good eyeball drunk when he sees one.
Funny- I like this song. Once i saw stefan soloing i knew this shit was on like donkey kong. I sing and hit all the notes.
LITHOG- This is some straight funky shit. Highlight of the night for me. I never thought i would love it but i do.
Dave winks at me so i know it is coming so i go to pee. It is hard moving from the front of the pit to the bathroom and back but my cup wasnt big enough to pee in. I wish this would go away.
YMDT- Boyd notices i made it back and smiles at me. I wave back and he bows.
Still/Dont Drink H2O- Love songs about water. I have now switched to bourbon and water since the coca cola classic has dehydrated me. i am pretty messed up. I sing.
Sister- Just fucking shoot me. I have no chair to sit down in and i just peed and got a bourbon
Nancies- Fucking sick. Boyd breaks a string and then gives it to me. it was tight as shit.
Gator Pie- Glad its back. Went to 9 shows last summer and only saw this one twice.
Cant Stop- See Sister
Black jack- First time hearing. Boyd lowered huis pants and shook his pubes in my face. I was estatic! Cool song
You and Me- Me and California bitch grind while i call main bitch so she doesnt think i am cheating on her while i have a hand in california bitches snatch
Ants- Like how they all crowd around Carter at the end.
(Boyd hints something big is coming to me on the way off stage)
Rye whiskey- I drink some whiskey while dave sings. I am content
Jimi- WOuld have left but i knew somethign was coming!!!!
After the show I get a drumstick from carter. I am so excited since i can now play rock band with both drum sticks but i say fuck it i tell boyd i want the snare drum. So sure enough Carter brings me over his snare and i then do the snare intro to ants. I am asked to guest at the Gorge Carter liekd it so much. Stefan then came over and gave california bitch his axe. It was awesome. Dave just left. I am not special enough to get talked to.
we then leave and get in car traffic sucks. We are leaving the venue and we get pulled over. California bitch gets breathalyzed and we get a dui. The reason this is so long is i am posting from a jail waiting for her to get PR bonded. I smell liek shit nad my eyeball hurts. But whatever i got a drumstick snare drum and she got a bass guitar.
Lesson as always dont eyeball vodka.