[rebubula07]

30) For the love of god, just go buy some cool shoes. It’s an easy detail to cover and more chicks than you’ll ever imagine write you off immediately if you are sporting bad footwear.

31) At first glance, bride-to-be nights out can seem a tough nut to crack. Au contraire. Buy the doomed bachelorette a drink, and address the rest of the table full of hotties while you congratulate her on finally getting out of the “single” game. Mention that you’re jealous as you make eyes with the one at the table you want most.

32) Make no mention of a major age difference, and slough it off if she ever brings it up. Women can smell insecurity, and it ain’t your friend. As the legendary football coach Bear Bryant once said regarding touchdown celebrations: “Act like you’ve been there before, son.”

33) If you endeavor to juggle three or four at the same time, be sure to make a fearless assessment of your financial situation prior or your credit card balance will soar…quickly.

34) The only thing you should ever be bragging about is how good the two of you look together, but don’t overdo that, either.

35) Use the back of your hand to assess the softness of your shirt and try to wear the softest for dates. Also, learn to use fabric softener.

36) If possible, lube your subject for the first kiss by scratching the back of her neck and stroking her hair back there---that’s one of a woman’s most sensitive areas and you’ll look less oafish when you dive in.

37) Take the scissors to your pubic area when intimacy is on the horizon! Besides making your unit appear larger, excessive hair helps the funk we wonder how they stand in the first place linger, and the less of that, the better.

38) A good exit the bar strategy: ask her if she wants to go to a party, regardless of whether you actually know of one. If she says yes, you’re in. You have forced the issue, and it’s always good to look like you have somewhere better to go. Now, go to a cool neighborhood until you find a bash and crash it, looking for “Bill”, if it’s late enough, nobody will know the difference or care. Better yet if you can stock the party with her girlfriends from the bar, too.

39) Suck it up and shop solo on a Sunday afternoon during football season, for obvious reasons. “Let’s take a break and go get a margarita” would be a nice start. Also, they can be asked for opinions and see #42.

40) If you are a competent golfer, hit the driving range on a nice day and offer unsolicited pointers to one of the increasing number of hotties there trying the greatest game there is. Don’t be naïve: they know the demographics of golfers and, more importantly, their Daddies probably golf.

41) If you don’t play golf, take it up---it’s good for business.

42) To bag the hot sales clerk: pretend your girlfriend is moving so you had to break it off. You want to buy her a very nice going away gift. Debate between the store you’re in or some other two, therefore you don’t have to actually buy anything. Go for only her number, and don’t call her for two weeks.
Don’t worry---she’ll remember.

43) If one of the first things out of her mouth is: “so, what do you do?”, tell her “blow off gold-diggers”, and walk away. Unless it’s been a while or she’s the only one around, then say real estate investing, and your real job as something to pay the bills while your wealth builds.

44) If you tend to be more of a “heartless” type, make sure you have a backup plan lined up before breaking up with your current girl.

45) Although a general rule for life in general, avoid speaking disparagingly about people, but especially your ex-girlfriend. The odds are decent that you’ll be going back with her at some point, and you’ll look like more of a loser if you’ve advertised her flaws to your friends.

46) Don’t smoke pot prior to going on the hunt. We’re all stupid enough to start with, and getting high, (while it has it’s place), is the last thing we need to prepare for “working it”. Having your wits about you is must. That being said…

47) If you have established that your target probably gets baked, bong hits back at your place of the one-hitter in your car can be a great excuse for moving things to the next level, (i.e. leaving the party/bar).
Even if you don’t actually have weed, you can always blame it on something else when it’s allegedly time to smoke.

48 If you are in a slump or just for practice, hit the local middle-aged hook-up joint. Older women are bolder, and will actually hit on you, giving you a self-esteem boost. There’s also always a chance some women your age will be there, too, and you can bet that if they are, they’re “goers”.

49) Obtain a female roommate if possible. Your place be far more female-friendly, and if a one-night stand leaves something behind, you can tell your girlfriend that it must be your roommates’.

50)If a woman you’ve met mentions she has multiple furry pets, she’s probably a head case. Save a lot of time and bail!

51) Always start a tab at the bar. It saves you stip money for one thing, and it also gives you a fine excuse to squeeze in next to a lady you’d like to meet to when you close it out.

52) When at the diner after drinking late night, send a random item over to a table of ladies you wish to meet as if it's a drink. Down here, it's a bowl of grits. Anyway, the waiter will drop it off and point your way. They'll look at you while they're laughing their asses off while you act all suave and give them the "point and wink." If you can't get in from that, just shoot yourself.

53) Book/Grocery store operating: Go up to one you like and say something stupid in her ear, like it's an inside joke. She'll turn around wondering WTF and you immediately start apologizing profusely. "OMG I am SO SORRY! YOu look EXACTLY like my old roommate/fraternity little sister/whatever...I feel like SUCH a tool! What's your name anyway?" If she's cool, you're on your way, if not, nothing lost.