Re: DMB fans absolutely destroying Sun Times reviewer
I think this one may be my favorite:
Though 3 lite-beer-swilling fans disagree--his articles reportedly have grossed more than four dollars--Jim DeRogatis always has been better on the toilet than on the page, where the endless wank-fest(period) could be a torture far worse than waterboarding. That isn't to say that any of the "critic's" previous articles are good, just that they're more pleasurable/less offensive than his bathroom sessions, with hybrid bias-laziness-moronic reviews and overall crappy writing easily digested while sipping a latte (a sentence that makes no sense). The "critic's" new article continues this tradition, and it may even be the "critic's" worst moment on record (which is saying a lot).
Named for the album being reviewed, "Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King" is an review that shouldn't have happened: Even before the DeRogatis listened to the album, the "critic" debated whether to write a review, having lost much of his drive and acquired considerable personal acrimony toward himself over the last decade of easy but lucrative chooglin'. Ultimately he decided to give it one more try, retreating to some lonely and isolated cubicle at the Sun Times building and the combination of an uncertain future and the loss of any ability to write or listen critically to good music early in the sessions seemed to not have rekindled a "good-writing" spark artfully fanned by whomever his editor was; who kept things concise, unfocused and mostly fact-free, with an emphasis on those lazy but catchy sentences and opinions that are DeRogatis' specialty.
The native of (who cares) is still a bonehead when it comes to writing articles, which fall either in the categories of 4th grade banality (insert any part of any article he's written), coffee-mug philosophizing (I doubt DeRogatis is capable of even "coffee-mug phlosophy") or frat-house sex talk ("wank-fest"). But if you toss his article in the rotation on your toliet paper roll for your own next bathroom session as a nod to those friends who only read mindless dribble, and you ignore what ol' DeRogatis is writing about, at least you can get a pretty good wipe at yesterday's lunch.
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.:kristin
the future is no place to place your better days
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