Dating is miserable

[tyler3440]

That's ridiculous and dumb, I changed it back.

[cry_minarets458]

Good job lol

[recentlyJTR41]

Originally Posted by jcc522

Someone told me about the app Hinge.

Pros:

the conversations seem to be better

Cons:

I can't say outlandish shit because I have mutual friends with the girls
Girls are so fucking unoriginal. Every single one answers "Where to find me at the party" with "Petting the dog/with the dog"

When you're hot you don't have to ever put forth any effort. If you're ugly and do this, you're just lazy.

[TheLastPig]

Not sure if anyone has had a similar experience to this so figured id see if anyone could offer advice.

One of, if not my closest friend in the world is this girl ive known since HS. We started as close friends then ended up dating for a month our senior year, it didnt work out, with how emotions fire off left and right at that age it just wasnt right. After some time passed we reconciled and remained friends through college and beyond and saw eachother here and there. We both dated a bunch of other people but always talked until I got serious with me ex-fiancee and against my better judgement I allowed her to convince me to cut ties with her. Since that ended last summer weve become very close again. Theres always felt like theres something still there between us even though shes been dating someone for almost a year, but im so used to us just being friends its wasnt even something on my radar until the last few months.

A few times shes beaten around the bush about us trying to date again, as recently as this morning. She brings it up in a roundabout way, then backs off, Ill push the issue to get her to say whats on her mind then she turtles and ignores me. Personally, I think I would be open to exploring it because those feelings ive buried never have fully gone away even though its easy to put them aside and just be friends.

Im just at that point where I dont know if I should bring it up next time I see her in person just to see her reaction and what she says, or to just let it go and wait for her to say something if shes ready. We have always had a kind of odd hot and cold relationship in the 12 years weve known one another, so its hard to approach.

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

Not sure if anyone has had a similar experience to this so figured id see if anyone could offer advice.

One of, if not my closest friend in the world is this girl ive known since HS. We started as close friends then ended up dating for a month our senior year, it didnt work out, with how emotions fire off left and right at that age it just wasnt right. After some time passed we reconciled and remained friends through college and beyond and saw eachother here and there. We both dated a bunch of other people but always talked until I got serious with me ex-fiancee and against my better judgement I allowed her to convince me to cut ties with her. Since that ended last summer weve become very close again. Theres always felt like theres something still there between us even though shes been dating someone for almost a year, but im so used to us just being friends its wasnt even something on my radar until the last few months.

A few times shes beaten around the bush about us trying to date again, as recently as this morning. She brings it up in a roundabout way, then backs off, Ill push the issue to get her to say whats on her mind then she turtles and ignores me. Personally, I think I would be open to exploring it because those feelings ive buried never have fully gone away even though its easy to put them aside and just be friends.

Im just at that point where I dont know if I should bring it up next time I see her in person just to see her reaction and what she says, or to just let it go and wait for her to say something if shes ready. We have always had a kind of odd hot and cold relationship in the 12 years weve known one another, so its hard to approach.

One thought is don’t attack this head on. Like a big talk or make it a direct yes or no question for her. Don’t ask permission or anything.

Flirt, be funny, witty, awesome. Texting is great for this. Ask he to send you a pic or two so you can see how pretty she looks (in your own words). Be subtle but interested. She if she wants one back.

Keep lobbing game over the net and see if she hits it back.

Find out the anwer to your questions without even asking.

Then, if your getting a good vibe, get together and get drunk and see if she’ll make out.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by Climb2safety

One thought is don’t attack this head on. Like a big talk or make it a direct yes or no question for her. Don’t ask permission or anything.

Flirt, be funny, witty, awesome. Texting is great for this. Ask he to send you a pic or two so you can see how pretty she looks (in your own words). Be subtle but interested. She if she wants one back.

Keep lobbing game over the net and see if she hits it back.

Find out the anwer to your questions without even asking.

Then, if your getting a good vibe, get together and get drunk and see if she’ll make out.

Eh for the way our relationship is that really doesnt work. Ive been playing that game with her for years, literally. We text all the time and send eachother stupid shit to laugh at etc.

After my fiancee and I split, oddly enough, as if a sign from the universe, she texted me out of the blue when I was literally driving back to my parents house because I had to move out of the place I lived with my ex in. I ended up calling her and we had a long discussion and I admitted to her my feelings never went away so that partially led to my ex-communication toward her. So she knows I still have something there. I think thats whats clearly stirred stuff up in her mind. The ball is in her court, I just cant really figure out why she wont just come out and say it, but thats women for you in general.

Im in no rush to push this, its just becoming hard to ignore.

[jcc522]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

Not sure if anyone has had a similar experience to this so figured id see if anyone could offer advice.

One of, if not my closest friend in the world is this girl ive known since HS. We started as close friends then ended up dating for a month our senior year, it didnt work out, with how emotions fire off left and right at that age it just wasnt right. After some time passed we reconciled and remained friends through college and beyond and saw eachother here and there. We both dated a bunch of other people but always talked until I got serious with me ex-fiancee and against my better judgement I allowed her to convince me to cut ties with her. Since that ended last summer weve become very close again. Theres always felt like theres something still there between us even though shes been dating someone for almost a year, but im so used to us just being friends its wasnt even something on my radar until the last few months.

A few times shes beaten around the bush about us trying to date again, as recently as this morning. She brings it up in a roundabout way, then backs off, Ill push the issue to get her to say whats on her mind then she turtles and ignores me. Personally, I think I would be open to exploring it because those feelings ive buried never have fully gone away even though its easy to put them aside and just be friends.

Im just at that point where I dont know if I should bring it up next time I see her in person just to see her reaction and what she says, or to just let it go and wait for her to say something if shes ready. We have always had a kind of odd hot and cold relationship in the 12 years weve known one another, so its hard to approach.

shoot your shot

[recentlyJTR41]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

Not sure if anyone has had a similar experience to this so figured id see if anyone could offer advice.

One of, if not my closest friend in the world is this girl ive known since HS. We started as close friends then ended up dating for a month our senior year, it didnt work out, with how emotions fire off left and right at that age it just wasnt right. After some time passed we reconciled and remained friends through college and beyond and saw eachother here and there. We both dated a bunch of other people but always talked until I got serious with me ex-fiancee and against my better judgement I allowed her to convince me to cut ties with her. Since that ended last summer weve become very close again. Theres always felt like theres something still there between us even though shes been dating someone for almost a year, but im so used to us just being friends its wasnt even something on my radar until the last few months.

A few times shes beaten around the bush about us trying to date again, as recently as this morning. She brings it up in a roundabout way, then backs off, Ill push the issue to get her to say whats on her mind then she turtles and ignores me. Personally, I think I would be open to exploring it because those feelings ive buried never have fully gone away even though its easy to put them aside and just be friends.

Im just at that point where I dont know if I should bring it up next time I see her in person just to see her reaction and what she says, or to just let it go and wait for her to say something if shes ready. We have always had a kind of odd hot and cold relationship in the 12 years weve known one another, so its hard to approach.

Just ask her out and be assertive. This might be all you need. If she says no then she says no. Then you can get on bumble and bang some strange. Good luck.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by recentlyJTR41

Just ask her out and be assertive. This might be all you need. If she says no then she says no. Then you can get on bumble and bang some strange. Good luck.

Hard to just ask her out when shes has a BF

Im trying not to ruin a friendship here at the same time. Im continuing to push the issue with her via text but I dont think im gonna get an answer our of her til I do it in person.

[TheLastStop123]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

Hard to just ask her out when shes has a BF

Im trying not to ruin a friendship here at the same time. Im continuing to push the issue with her via text but I dont think im gonna get an answer our of her til I do it in person.

do you have any way of coming together with her in a social setting where you may be able to get some alone time with her? get some booze and I feel like that could be a good way for some progress to be made.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by TheLastStop123

do you have any way of coming together with her in a social setting where you may be able to get some alone time with her? get some booze and I feel like that could be a good way for some progress to be made.

Yeah we hang out alone every now and again.

It will happen again sooner than later. Ill have a chance.

[recentlyJTR41]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

Hard to just ask her out when shes has a BF

Im trying not to ruin a friendship here at the same time. Im continuing to push the issue with her via text but I dont think im gonna get an answer our of her til I do it in person.

Ah shit I didn't see that. Ignore her then. If you asked her out or yall hooked up while she's dating then she's a thot. That's a total turn off imo


Ignore her and move on and if she deep down really likes you she'll dump him and pursue you. Losing a friend who is a girl (in my experiences) is not a huge deal in the big picture. The sexual tension will lead to jealousy and you'll always be tempted if you have a GF or whatever. Not worth it. Male camaraderie is so much better and more fulfilling.

[hmich176]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

Yeah we hang out alone every now and again.

It will happen again sooner than later. Ill have a chance.

Sounds like you pretty much know what to do. Don't blame you for needing to talk about it though.

[TheLastPig]

Yeah I mean im not trying to get her to cheat at all. Her bf is a good dude actually and I know how that feels on the other end.

She was drunk texting me randomly last night complaining about how shes jealous her friend found the perfect dude and shes complained in the past about other stuff about him so I dont expect this relationship shes in to last.

The sexual tension was brutal for a long period before I was with my ex. Im not exaggerating at all when I say when we were in HS she backed out on us having sex with my penis an inch from her vag. Took me a long fucking time to get past that but I have, now all this shit seems to be stirring up again.


I sent her a "as soon as I ask about what you brought up you go silent, surely you see how confusing that is" text. Ill let her sit on that til she decides to respond.

[UNC41]

IMO, you either be really direct and tell her how you feel and see if she'd like to give it a shot or do absolutely nothing. She's been dating a guy a year and it'd be a pretty weak thing to do to meddle with that unless you're willing to lay all of your cards on the table.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by UNC41

IMO, you either be really direct and tell her how you feel and see if she'd like to give it a shot or do absolutely nothing. She's been dating a guy a year and it'd be a pretty weak thing to do to meddle with that unless you're willing to lay all of your cards on the table.

Being up front really is the only option I have I think. Just gotta time it right is all and I have to do it in person.

[tyler3440]

I think you just say fuck it. Go for her and don't give a damn about him at all. Who cares if he's a good guy? This is about YOU and your wants and needs. Go for the jackpot. You will probably loose her as a friend if she doesn't want the same thing but having a girl as a friend is worthless IMO

[tyler3440]

Think about it man...if she goes off and marries that other dude you won't be close with her anyway. But if you go for jackpot you could be marrying her one day.

Lalalala happily ever after with a white picket fence and a dog and 3 kids

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by tyler3440

Think about it man...if she goes off and marries that other dude you won't be close with her anyway. But if you go for jackpot you could be marrying her one day.

Lalalala happily ever after with a white picket fence and a dog and 3 kids

the thing is im not even sure how much I want to date her. I definitely have feelings for her but at the same time Id be fine if she told me she wasnt into it.


I will bring it up to her long before she ever would get engaged to this guy so its not really something im concerned about.

[DMBstandUP1984]

I texted my friend complaining about a girl i was friends (that I kept having will they/won't they moments with) who had a boyfriend....but I sent it to that girl by mistake.

It was a mistake but it got the wheels in motion..she left her bf, we got together and now we are married with a 6 year old.

[UNC41]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

the thing is im not even sure how much I want to date her. I definitely have feelings for her but at the same time Id be fine if she told me she wasnt into it.


I will bring it up to her long before she ever would get engaged to this guy so its not really something im concerned about.

You're thinking of potentially ruining someone's relationship and not even sure you want to date her? Saying anything would be a shitty thing to do unless you'd be ready to date.

[DMBstandUP1984]

Originally Posted by UNC41

You're thinking of potentially ruining someone's relationship and not even sure you want to date her? Saying anything would be a shitty thing to do unless you'd be ready to date.

I mean that was my entire high school-college dating timeline.

It was "the chase"...I finally got my high school dream girl 4 years after high school and as soon as we got together, a few months later that feeling wore off and I was mostly over it

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

the thing is im not even sure how much I want to date her. I definitely have feelings for her but at the same time Id be fine if she told me she wasnt into it.


I will bring it up to her long before she ever would get engaged to this guy so its not really something im concerned about.

Although I was joking with my answer, I think you should go for her when timing is right. (Just like you said). Who knows maybe she will break up with this guy before you even go for her. Still don't count on it tho.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by UNC41

You're thinking of potentially ruining someone's relationship and not even sure you want to date her? Saying anything would be a shitty thing to do unless you'd be ready to date.

No I just mean it as I would if she also did, but wouldnt be devastated if she said no. The games shes played with me in the past and that ive seen her do with others always has had me on edge with getting in a relationship with her.

[jrkarger]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

No I just mean it as I would if she also did, but wouldnt be devastated if she said no. The games shes played with me in the past and that ive seen her do with others always has had me on edge with getting in a relationship with her.

If this is the case you need to let this go and move on. If she wanted to be with you she would.

I’m not saying this to as a dig to you personally. But, if she’s playing games now why would it change in the future? It sounds like the clsssic sitch where you’re her safe option till she decides what to do with this other jabroni and she’s enjoying the attention.

Don’t let her string you along. Don’t sit in her bullpen.

Before you posted all of these details I was going to advise to avoid all of the “talks and what have you and to let things just happen organically.

I stand by that now more than ever. If it happens great. If not sounds like you might be better offf.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by jrkarger

If this is the case you need to let this go and move on. If she wanted to be with you she would.

I’m not saying this to as a dig to you personally. But, if she’s playing games now why would it change in the future? It sounds like the clsssic sitch where you’re her safe option till she decides what to do with this other jabroni and she’s enjoying the attention.

Don’t let her string you along. Don’t sit in her bullpen.

Before you posted all of these details I was going to advise to avoid all of the “talks and what have you and to let things just happen organically.

I stand by that now more than ever. If it happens great. If not sounds like you might be better offf.

We've been friends for so long and both have seen eachother in other relationships I know im not her guy in the bullpen. Its hard to put into words but I just know thats not the case. Our relationship is weird. When we get along its really really great then other times if we disagree or go different ways on some topic it goes hard the other way. That makes me weary of how a relationship with her would be, but doesnt make me like her any less.

In no way am I only focusing on her and not looking around other places. Shes just always been there, we have some kind of weird magnetic connection, no matter what happens we always end up talking and getting along great again. Its gone back and forth more times than I can remember. Its just one of those things where I cant help but feel theres some reason it happens. In many ways, it feels like the cliche "never got the timing right" kind of situation. Thats why I said im in no rush with any of this, if it happens it happens. Its just been on my mind recently and last night/today was another time it got kicked up so I posted about it.

[UNC41]

Originally Posted by DMBstandUP1984

I mean that was my entire high school-college dating timeline.

It was "the chase"...I finally got my high school dream girl 4 years after high school and as soon as we got together, a few months later that feeling wore off and I was mostly over it

Yeah, based on posts it seems he's older than high school or college.

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

No I just mean it as I would if she also did, but wouldnt be devastated if she said no. The games shes played with me in the past and that ive seen her do with others always has had me on edge with getting in a relationship with her.

Gotcha. Based on what you've posted, she seems pretty immature. If I was in your scenario and you did get together, I'd have a hard time not thinking she's doing the same thing behind your back she was with her current boyfriend.

[TheLastPig]

Originally Posted by UNC41

Yeah, based on posts it seems he's older than high school or college.

Im 28. Met her 12 years ago in my junior year English class.

[jrkarger]

Originally Posted by TheLastPig

We've been friends for so long and both have seen eachother in other relationships I know im not her guy in the bullpen. Its hard to put into words but I just know thats not the case. Our relationship is weird. When we get along its really really great then other times if we disagree or go different ways on some topic it goes hard the other way. That makes me weary of how a relationship with her would be, but doesnt make me like her any less.

In no way am I only focusing on her and not looking around other places. Shes just always been there, we have some kind of weird magnetic connection, no matter what happens we always end up talking and getting along great again. Its gone back and forth more times than I can remember. Its just one of those things where I cant help but feel theres some reason it happens. In many ways, it feels like the cliche "never got the timing right" kind of situation. Thats why I said im in no rush with any of this, if it happens it happens. Its just been on my mind recently and last night/today was another time it got kicked up so I posted about it.

If that’s the case then I still stand by my advice to let things happen naturally. Thats not to say not to look for opportunities to spend time together but more to avoid “the talk”.

Just my two cents


EDIT: I also agree with UNCNumbers about that being in the back of my mind

[mdel21]

Just pull it out next time you're with it. Tim Whatley style.