Dating is miserable - Page 1629 - Antsmarching.org Forums - Dave Matthews Band Discussion
Old 11-19-2017, 10:24 AM   #48841
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Re: Dating is miserable

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiduwho View Post
Have experience, for the first 3 years of my wife and I's relationship, an ex of hers would randomly message her. Two different new phone numbers, a new FB profile after the first one was blocked.

She never responded once, outside of a trick "hey got a new number" text to which she responded "who is this?" and after he responded, then nothing ever again. No "leave me alone", nothing. Straight ghost and block. After the 4th time, he finally stopped. This was over a 3 year period of random "Hey it's ___, how have you been, what are you up to?"

And I definitely knew not to get involved or incense a fairly harmless, but creepy bear.
3 years? Wow.

You’re right and that is what we’re doing.

Another voicemail Friday. Sounds like he’s starting to get the message. He was something to the effect of “Maybe you’ll call me someday...”. Sounded a little defeated but we’ll see.
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  • Old 11-19-2017, 10:55 AM   #48842
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fridge112887 View Post
    And.....
    I mean it got me a date
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    Old 11-19-2017, 11:45 AM   #48843
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    I mean it got me a date


    -sent from inside bathroom on said date.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 10:15 AM   #48844
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    I mean it got me a date

    Want to go Facebook Live for your dates?
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    Old 11-20-2017, 10:40 AM   #48845
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ToySoldier#34 View Post
    Want to go Facebook Live for your dates?
    Dude I got this. The date will be after thanksgiving break and a football game. Plenty to talk about man. I'm really confident right now
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    Old 11-20-2017, 11:00 AM   #48846
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    Dude I got this. The date will be after thanksgiving break and a football game. Plenty to talk about man. I'm really confident right now
    Are you guys texting on your cells in the meantime.

    Be careful, too much time between the commitment and the date requires extra caution.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 11:09 AM   #48847
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    Dude I got this. The date will be after thanksgiving break and a football game. Plenty to talk about man. I'm really confident right now
    Wingman and an earpiece. Always good to have help on deck.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 11:12 AM   #48848
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    Are you guys texting on your cells in the meantime.

    Be careful, too much time between the commitment and the date requires extra caution.


    You sound like my grandma

    Good on ya, Tyler. Don't bother her too much between now and then. You want to have something to discuss when you're, you know, actually face-to-face. You have to maintain a fine line between keeping her interest and being annoying.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 11:19 AM   #48849
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by M. Steng View Post


    You sound like my grandma

    Good on ya, Tyler. Don't bother her too much between now and then. You want to have something to discuss when you're, you know, actually face-to-face. You have to maintain a fine line between keeping her interest and being annoying.
    You meant versus the dating app. I wrote it weird tho
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    Old 11-20-2017, 11:19 AM   #48850
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by M. Steng View Post


    You sound like my grandma

    Good on ya, Tyler. Don't bother her too much between now and then. You want to have something to discuss when you're, you know, actually face-to-face. You have to maintain a fine line between keeping her interest and being annoying.
    And it depends on what type of texter she is. Someone who wants to talk all the time, or someone who just touches base throughout the day. I’ve dated girls in the past that want to tell you every little thing that happens to them throughout the day.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 11:24 AM   #48851
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chadizzy1 View Post
    She's 21 and I'm 29. I thankfully scored someone younger than me. I didn't have much luck dating girls my own age the past 6 years, the younger ones seem to be better catches. At least in Arkansas.
    So that’s me in 2013. Fast forward to now, 2017. Oh, how wrong was I. I’m finalizing a divorce right now.

    Wouldn’t change a thing because I got my son out of the marriage, but will be more careful going forward.

    Back to being a full time single dad again to 2 kids this time instead of 1.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:00 PM   #48852
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    Are you guys texting on your cells in the meantime.

    Be careful, too much time between the commitment and the date requires extra caution.
    I actually not texting her.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:03 PM   #48853
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    Are you guys texting on your cells in the meantime.

    Be careful, too much time between the commitment and the date requires extra caution.
    yeah I haven't texted her haha

    I'll probably send a text finalizing a date and place.

    Last edited by tyler3440; 11-20-2017 at 12:06 PM.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:04 PM   #48854
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chadizzy1 View Post
    So that’s me in 2013. Fast forward to now, 2017. Oh, how wrong was I. I’m finalizing a divorce right now.

    Wouldn’t change a thing because I got my son out of the marriage, but will be more careful going forward.

    Back to being a full time single dad again to 2 kids this time instead of 1.
    Sorry to hear that dude

    Best of luck
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:04 PM   #48855
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    Dude I got this. The date will be after thanksgiving break and a football game. Plenty to talk about man. I'm really confident right now
    You're not going to the football game as your date are you?
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:07 PM   #48856
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by snow1868 View Post
    You're not going to the football game as your date are you?
    No

    I asked her to coffee after thanksgiving

    And she said she would love that
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:30 PM   #48857
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chadizzy1 View Post
    So that’s me in 2013. Fast forward to now, 2017. Oh, how wrong was I. I’m finalizing a divorce right now.

    Wouldn’t change a thing because I got my son out of the marriage, but will be more careful going forward.

    Back to being a full time single dad again to 2 kids this time instead of 1.
    So one kid with the woman you are divorcing and one from a previous relationship?

    What will the parenting agreement be with the one you are divorcing?
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:37 PM   #48858
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    yeah I haven't texted her haha

    I'll probably send a text finalizing a date and place.
    Well. Like I said, the game is afoot so keep playing and don’t let your guard down.

    Text or don’t text but make sure you and her are on the same page. Texting before the first date is a tough one and there really is zero upside for you. You’ve already got the Yes to a date, all you can do is screw it up between now and then.

    I would suggest 1. Lock down the date and time of the date. Tell her you’ll plan something fun. Or, if you already know what you are going to suggest you could do it but it’s almost better to keep her in suspense.

    2. Plan a great date. Don’t half-ass it.

    3. Tell her you’ll message her the day before to see if the day and time still work.

    4. Text as you said.

    Optional: if you are feeling good about this - you could make some small talk, ask about her thanksgiving plans, etc. You might do this if a lot of time elapses between now and the date. Just to keep her interested and if you think she’s expecting and wanting to chat. But remember, he cool and do say anything controversial or stupid.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:41 PM   #48859
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    No

    I asked her to coffee after thanksgiving

    And she said she would love that
    Ehh. Coffee is only an average idea bro.

    Coffee says I’m not sure and want to be safe so as not to spend too much money or time on you until I’ve viewed the goods.

    My coffee dates sucked and I actually stopped them.

    What you could do is make a big thermos of coffee, get some other snacked, maybe scones, and meet at a park with a blanket and music. “I said coffee “.

    Or just say you know what, let’s ditch coffee and go in a proper outing!
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:44 PM   #48860
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    Ehh. Coffee is only an average idea bro.

    Coffee says I’m not sure and want to be safe so as not to spend too much money or time on you until I’ve viewed the goods.

    My coffee dates sucked and I actually stopped them.

    What you could do is make a big thermos of coffee, get some other snacked, maybe scones, and meet at a park with a blanket and music. “I said coffee “.

    Or just say you know what, let’s ditch coffee and go in a proper outing!
    He's like 20 years old, this is terrible advice. If they met on Tinder they're likely just feeling each other out and making sure the product matches the marketing before they bump uglies. Your strategy might work for a 40 something single dad but Tyler is just tryna get his rocks off, it's best not to overthink things.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:50 PM   #48861
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by M. Steng View Post
    He's like 20 years old, this is terrible advice. If they met on Tinder they're likely just feeling each other out and making sure the product matches the marketing before they bump uglies. Your strategy might work for a 40 something single dad but Tyler is just tryna get his rocks off, it's best not to overthink things.
    I don’t know man. Chicks are chicks. They all want to see a guy who cares enough to plan something cool and special, he shown they are important and worth the effort, and most of all someone that shows them a fun time.

    Make her have fun, make her laugh, be a great guy. I don’t see how that wouldn’t work on any girl. At a minimum I do t see how it could be terrible.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 12:54 PM   #48862
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    I don’t know man. Chicks are chicks. They all want to see a guy who cares enough to plan something cool and special, he shown they are important and worth the effort, and most of all someone that shows them a fun time.

    Make her have fun, make her laugh, be a great guy. I don’t see how that wouldn’t work on any girl. At a minimum I do t see how it could be terrible.
    "It's just a first date; do less; I don't even know this guy; play hard to get."

    All thoughts a girl could very easily have if you go too above and beyond on a first date. It's one thing if you meet through work or have known a girl for a while before you take her out romantically. It's totally different when you are using the first date as a "getting to know you" sort of deal. Keep it casual, cool, and informal. Don't blow your whole wad if this girl is just looking for some easy D from Tinder.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 01:18 PM   #48863
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chadizzy1 View Post
    So that’s me in 2013. Fast forward to now, 2017. Oh, how wrong was I. I’m finalizing a divorce right now.

    Wouldn’t change a thing because I got my son out of the marriage, but will be more careful going forward.

    Back to being a full time single dad again to 2 kids this time instead of 1.
    Sorry to hear that, bud. At least you're getting your son, I guess.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 01:27 PM   #48864
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by M. Steng View Post
    "It's just a first date; do less; I don't even know this guy; play hard to get."

    All thoughts a girl could very easily have if you go too above and beyond on a first date. It's one thing if you meet through work or have known a girl for a while before you take her out romantically. It's totally different when you are using the first date as a "getting to know you" sort of deal. Keep it casual, cool, and informal. Don't blow your whole wad if this girl is just looking for some easy D from Tinder.
    Bingo. Unless tylernumbers has some reason to think it is going to be super special I don't like going all out for the first date. Reeks of desperation.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 01:33 PM   #48865
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tyler3440 View Post
    Dude I got this. The date will be after thanksgiving break and a football game. Plenty to talk about man. I'm really confident right now

    Ditch the 17+ year old hat, keep the first date low-key, set up a laptop wherever you are sitting for coffee. What you want to do is angle your computer towards both of you for Antsmarching.org members to watch the live stream, you can either let her know you will be posting frequently or you can use your phone to post as you go. For any quick yes / no questions we will simply put Y / N for your response, any deeper more philosophical probing questions will get their own thread with polls.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 02:13 PM   #48866
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    So one kid with the woman you are divorcing and one from a previous relationship?

    What will the parenting agreement be with the one you are divorcing?
    I have custody of this one, too. She has visitation (in Arkansas the standard is every other weekend). But we worked it out without having to go to court and she agreed to what I wanted. My daughter's mom (previous relationship) lives in another state, so my kid flies out to visit her in the summertime, spring break, and either Thanksgiving or Christmas break.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rconverse View Post
    Sorry to hear that, bud. At least you're getting your son, I guess.
    Yeah, that's the positive part of it!
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    Old 11-20-2017, 02:19 PM   #48867
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    I don’t know man. Chicks are chicks. They all want to see a guy who cares enough to plan something cool and special, he shown they are important and worth the effort, and most of all someone that shows them a fun time.

    Make her have fun, make her laugh, be a great guy. I don’t see how that wouldn’t work on any girl. At a minimum I do t see how it could be terrible.
    With my last girl, we first met at a bar of her choice (near her house so she wouldn't have to drive far afterwards) for casual conversation. Second date we went out to eat and got drinks after. Third date I came up with a list of potential date ideas and told her to pick a few and we'd go from there. We ended up doing an escape room (apparently they're quite popular) and drinks afterwards. She loved it. Forth date we took the train into Chicago to her favorite pizza place and to a brewery afterwards. I always came up with the dates but I kept her interests in mind.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 02:23 PM   #48868
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chadizzy1 View Post
    I have custody of this one, too. She has visitation (in Arkansas the standard is every other weekend). But we worked it out without having to go to court and she agreed to what I wanted. My daughter's mom (previous relationship) lives in another state, so my kid flies out to visit her in the summertime, spring break, and either Thanksgiving or Christmas break
    So, no 50/50? I’m guessing there are reasons?
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    Old 11-20-2017, 02:53 PM   #48869
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    So, no 50/50? I’m guessing there are reasons?
    I'm a more stable parent, so it's best that he stays with me. I think that's the easiest explanation I can give for it.
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    Old 11-20-2017, 03:20 PM   #48870
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    Re: Dating is miserable

    Coffee is a great standard first date. Not a big investment ($14) and can smash by the end of the night.

    When you're old enough to go to a bar, man I have a good TIP for you
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