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Originally Posted by TrampledUnderw.
Hey guys figured I'd fill everyone in and it's cathartic writing it out. I need 2 take a break from school to focus on my health 4 a while. All jokes aside, I've been really unhappy the last year and I thought that was normal because medical school is fucking hard, but it isn't normal. I really just want to wake up and be excited to start my day again. I really have no passion or spark left. It's came to a head recently because I have my board test coming up and I've been under intense stress to get this out of way, and I just kind of broke. I also think I'm ready to end my 3 year relationship and move on. The emotional toll 2 years of long distance coupled with studying/working insane hours has become too much. I feel like the relationship has put me under so much stress because its not like I can take weekends off from studying, so I'll work super hard for a few weeks with no breaks to clear a weekend so I can take a train to chicago, instead of relax myself. It hurts because of all the effort we've put into it, and hurting someone you love is so so painful. but im not in a place where a relationship can be functional. I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming my gf for my struggles in school/personal struggles because that is not her fault at all, nonstop school for 6 years has been the main stressor. I barely scraped by with grades this year and I can't let 6 years, all the hard work, weekends studying, tears, and 150K debt be for nothing. I'm still gonna be a doctor I just need to work my life out and find myself again (that sounds corny but I get it now). Maybe I'll hike the Appalachian trail or dye my hair blond or do something really cliche. I could drone on for hours so I'll leave it at this. thanks for listening
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Sorry to hear that David, but also glad for you. This is obviously not a quick decision on your part, you’ve been thinking about it for awhile. You know yourself best, so trust your choice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrampledUnderw.
thanks jordan, I got into that direct admit med program as a senior in high school and how tf was I supposed to know what I wanted at 18. Luckily the school I'm at places high priority on mental health. Taking time off isn't an issue.
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Good for your school! Also, I agree, sending 18 year olds to make smart, long term decisions is an awful idea when you really think about it.
Only advice David. Do something to keep yourself somewhat busy and occupied. You are changing a lot at once and I don’t think that’s bad, but try not to second guess.