**The Official Hopeless Romantics Thread**

[davehead34]

I'm having a pretty difficult time right now. The girl of my dreams and I just agreed to never see each other again for various reasons (I posted them in a different thread "Why do the good ones always get away" if you really want to be nosy). Life sucks. I'm depressed. I have issues with getting attached, perhaps too attached too fast. Alcohol isn't really helping me cope. I've listened to Halloween about a dozen times and I'm still struggling pretty bad. I've come to the conclusion that I am a 21 year old hopeless romantic - a disease worse than cancer and a character flaw worse than a coke habit.

So I'm wondering, is this a curse? I hear people all the time say "I'm a hopeless romantic." Bullshit! I swear to god that I must be the only one out there - at least, in Southern California area! If there really are all these poor souls meandering about this dreary, depressing world, where the hell are they? Are they all married already?! Have they become so pissed at the world that they've all secluded themselves? Because they aren't at the bars, the clubs, the beaches, the coffee shops and pretty much any other place I seem to frequent.

So, in a pathetic last ditch attempt to save what little hope I have in romance, I figured I'd seek out the other deprived, and sexually frustrated romantics. So here I am, looking. Searching.

Please use this thread to vent about any relationship that made you lose all hope in the opposite (or same, in some situations ) sex or just vent about how you can never find Mr. or Mrs. Right.

...and if you happen to live in Southern California and are a female between 18 and 25 feel free to PM me

[King Crimson]

Man i am so sorry right now. I already posted in ur other thread. And the girl of my dreams we have gotten together and were apart for 2 months and i was torn but now were together again. So all i can say is i am a hopeless romantic as well as ya. I get to involved in relationships when they dont really mean too much (this is HS) so just keep lookin up and dont get to crazy into the alchohol and other remedies keep it sane

[reverend miles]

[paris72]

I use to be a hopless romantic, then this little bitch broke my heart. Now I'm happier than ever with the new woman in my life and most of my hopless romantacism is tarnished and in hiding. Aint that a bitch

[mollymm16]

im a teenage girl....of course im a hopeless romantic!!! i havent had a serious relationship in two years. lol and its been rough. holding out for college.......lol.......waiting......

[davehead34]

Originally Posted by mollymm16

im a teenage girl....of course im a hopeless romantic!!! i havent had a serious relationship in two years. lol and its been rough. holding out for college.......lol.......waiting......

Yeah...you'll have lots of..."relationships" in college...Just remember to always keep a condom in your wallet.

[paris72]

[mollymm16]

Originally Posted by davehead34

Yeah...you'll have lots of..."relationships" in college...Just remember to always keep a condom in your wallet.

cynical cynical. thanks

[paris72]

Welcome to Ants. Please keep your tray tables and seats in an upright position...

[gbs3769]

If it makes you feel any better im sort of in the same boat.

My girlfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago and right before we broke up I met this amazing girl that I somehow fell in love with in the short amount of time that I have known her. Over most of last month things were going great between us, we would go out on the weekends and I stayed over at her house a couple of times and then about two weeks ago she kind of dropped off the face of the earth.

I haven't really heard from her since 4-25 except that she called me last Thursday and I ended up staying over at her house again. I've seen her out at the bars a few times since then, including both Friday and Saturday. Friday she was with some of her friends from school and we talked very briefly before she sort of disappeared for the evening. Saturday I saw her right before one of the bars closed although she didn't see me. I made sure and stuck around outside of the bar and she somewhat ignored me as she was leaving until I said hello to her as she was leaving with some other guy.

So basically, the girl that I think that I am falling for is playing with my head and it is really pissng me off.

- Matt

[mollymm16]

lol i take it back. im not a hopeless romantic. im a mean, mean bitch......nah not working for me either. *shrugs*

[paris72]

Molly, you need this shirt

http://www.nook-market.com/bizzazz_t...ly_college.jpg

[dmb1spe]

If by hopeless romantic you mean raddest fucking dude alive, then I'm in.

[paris72]

Reps for the usage of the the word Rad

[mollymm16]

Originally Posted by paris72

Molly, you need this shirt

http://www.nook-market.com/bizzazz_t...ly_college.jpg

lol, yeah. i actually do listen to them, and i must admit, at first it was solely because of the name hahaha

[mwjorgens]

i scanned the first post, 'alcohol isnt helping me cope'? man thats pretty sad. just fall asleep watching casablanca and drinking/smoking/snorting. it will depress you big time but you will eventually get over it. thats my $.02

[davehead34]

Originally Posted by mwjorgens

i scanned the first post, 'alcohol isnt helping me cope'? man thats pretty sad. just fall asleep watching casablanca and drinking/smoking/snorting. it will depress you big time but you will eventually get over it. thats my $.02

Yeah, I don't use alcohol to help deal with my problems by its self. I'll drink and play guitar or drink and write or drink and sing. It usually does the trick, but I'm pretty fucked this time. I think this girl really did a number on me.

And Matt, that's rough man. I don't even know what to say. I remember you saying in a thread that you were having a rough day because of some chick. Man, being in love, though, that's rough. I wasn't quite in love with this girl, yet, but I saw myself heading in that direction at a rapid pace. Damn, that's a bitch. I probably would have beat the hell out of that guy she was with. Well, probably not, but I would have wanted to.

[gbs3769]

I'm not sure if I'm there just yet, but it's pretty damn close. It's probably just the fact that I recently broke up with my girlfriend that is doing it to me. Either way it still sucks.

I still just don't understand the call on Thursday night. If I hadn't heard from her Thursday night I would have been able to write her off as me just being a random hookup. But you just don't call someone up and invite them over to just talk and go to sleep. If her intention was to hook up, I could have understood it and understood where we were at.

- Matt

[PilotC150]

I can't come up with exactly what to say right now, but I know how you guys feel....

http://antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?t=126497

[Gregb486]

holy shit man, you sound exactly like me. my love life consists of me aiming for someone out of my league, then getting with them, becoming attached, and having them dump me. and im starting to realize its a cycle. the girl im sort of seeing now just told me last night that im too emotional. im about the toughest guy your gonna meet, but im an extremely emotional guy too - in all aspects of my life. the worst part is just when i think i find the girl that can actually understand me and is mature and smart enough to listen to me, i start to realize they just don't want to, whether they are capable or not.

haha, at least you didn't fly half way across the country to find out the love of your life is fucking some other guy, hahahaa............fuck.

anyways, i know exactly how you feel. i personally start with playing halloween, then say goodbye, then some devil incesantly.

[rebubula07]

The Golden Rule: Make it a habit to hit on every girl you’re interested in that looks at you twice, regardless of where you are. (within reason, of course) Once again: this will not hurt! Also, see rule #9.

1) No matter how good things might look at the beginning of a relationship, just assume it’s going to

fall apart and be pleasantly surprised if it doesn’t.

2) When contemplating a relationship, assuming a woman is being logical is folly, and will only result in lost sleep.

3)

Women are like a bus; there will always be another one along.

4)

When doubtful about the reception of an attempt of a first kiss, be sure to give it three tries, if possible. Chances are the woman has reconsidered her first rejection, which may have been simply a reflex. No harm in making sure.

5) If you’re in the dorm/apartment wall-covering phase, remove all posters of bimbos and models and replace them with pictures/posters of couples. This whispers that you aren’t afraid of relationships, you are sensitive and, most importantly, sets you apart from every other ass-wipe on campus. Said wall adornments will also likely be what the woman will be looking at when you’re working rule #4.

6) If it feels like you may be calling her too soon at the beginning of a relationship, you absolutely are. In the grand scheme of things, two days ain’t gonna kill you. The same time frame flew by when you were dateless, so just chill, or go dateless some more.

7) Never, ever, assume you have a “full plate” and pass up attempting to getingt a good number when you can, (unless you have agreed to monogamy, of course). Remember, the whims of women could easily collapse all three other prospects you have on the same day.

8) Back away from long distance relationships. The money you save will finance plenty of mingling in your town, which inevitably leads to hook-ups.

9) If you get a second, sustained look from a woman in a social setting, you have a green light, and the opening line is all but irrelevant. A self-introduction and discussion of hometowns is all you need to get started.

10) Always chat up her marginal friend(s) and remember their names. These people have major influences on your target’s view of you, and they need to be treated with charm and respect.

11) For pursuing a girl in a group of people, try to chat up one of the guys that are involved for an inside track on information and possibly an introduction.

12) Very important: mention the girl’s boyfriend within the first five minutes. If she has one, you have wasted very little time.

13) This truth is self-evident, but it needs to be stressed anyway: if you don’t try talking to a women of interest, you definitely will not get a date with her.

14) In turn, the more you talk to them, the better you get at it. Just like everything else: practice makes perfect.

15) Avoid projecting your intellect onto your target. You both know what is going on here, but nevertheless her intelligence will not be insulted by compliments and general bullshit, even though you think they sound ridiculous.

16) If you manage to land a top-notch hottie do not go on and on about how attractive she is. Instead, compliment her intellect, even if she’s a moron.

17) Listen, listen, listen. Going on and on about yourself is a sign of nerves that has been the downfall of many a would-be Casanova. Briefly fill her in about stuff she asks about, but spend most of your time talking about her. This will set you apart from 95% of other dildos that hit on her and it will also make her feel comfortable.

18) Try your best to not look at other women passing by.

19) Absolutely no flowers until at least date three, and probably later than that.

20) Consider bowling for an early date. This will show how she deals with competitive situations, possibly lends excuses for hugging, and you can check out her ass and carriage to your hearts’ content. Oh, and you can drink.

21) If you’ve been seeing a woman for at least a few dates and she frequently raises her upper lip and/or rolls her eyes in response to your comments, dump her. You are only beating her to the punch, and that’s always nice.

22) Suggest lunch as a first date. For the woman it’s safer, and for you, it has a strict timeframe, so if she’s no good, you’ve only wasted an hour, lunch menu prices and haven’t had to buy drinks. Also, daylight is the ultimate “ugly light”, allowing you to make a sober assessment of her looks.

23) Don’t buy a woman a drink seconds after meeting her. It may turn out that she’s lame. Better she be lame and you still have that five bucks in your pocket.

24) Never, ever mention ex-girlfriends or wives. Ditto current girlfriends or wives.

25) If a woman has left a message unreturned, you will look like a loser if you make more than two more attempts. See rule #3 and move on.

26) Try your best to remember a girl’s number without writing it down, (famous athlete’s uniform numbers may help). There is something unappealing to a woman about having her digits written down in front of god and everybody; set yourself apart. Note: don’t try if you’re wasted.

27) When you have a prospect that’s difficult to close, make casual mention of future activities, (i.e. hiking, tennis, etc.), involving the two of you.

28) When working a prospect over the phone, be sure to be active physically instead of laying or sitting. You want to project energy, and moving about will help provide that. Also, a smile can be heard.

29) In the initial phase, back away from complimenting a particular body part. She’s heard it often before, and you should try your best be more creative than that. Limited compliments on attire is a green light, however.

[rebubula07]

30) For the love of god, just go buy some cool shoes. It’s an easy detail to cover and more chicks than you’ll ever imagine write you off immediately if you are sporting bad footwear.

31) At first glance, bride-to-be nights out can seem a tough nut to crack. Au contraire. Buy the doomed bachelorette a drink, and address the rest of the table full of hotties while you congratulate her on finally getting out of the “single” game. Mention that you’re jealous as you make eyes with the one at the table you want most.

32) Make no mention of a major age difference, and slough it off if she ever brings it up. Women can smell insecurity, and it ain’t your friend. As the legendary football coach Bear Bryant once said regarding touchdown celebrations: “Act like you’ve been there before, son.”

33) If you endeavor to juggle three or four at the same time, be sure to make a fearless assessment of your financial situation prior or your credit card balance will soar…quickly.

34) The only thing you should ever be bragging about is how good the two of you look together, but don’t overdo that, either.

35) Use the back of your hand to assess the softness of your shirt and try to wear the softest for dates. Also, learn to use fabric softener.

36) If possible, lube your subject for the first kiss by scratching the back of her neck and stroking her hair back there---that’s one of a woman’s most sensitive areas and you’ll look less oafish when you dive in.

37) Take the scissors to your pubic area when intimacy is on the horizon! Besides making your unit appear larger, excessive hair helps the funk we wonder how they stand in the first place linger, and the less of that, the better.

38) A good exit the bar strategy: ask her if she wants to go to a party, regardless of whether you actually know of one. If she says yes, you’re in. You have forced the issue, and it’s always good to look like you have somewhere better to go. Now, go to a cool neighborhood until you find a bash and crash it, looking for “Bill”, if it’s late enough, nobody will know the difference or care. Better yet if you can stock the party with her girlfriends from the bar, too.

39) Suck it up and shop solo on a Sunday afternoon during football season, for obvious reasons. “Let’s take a break and go get a margarita” would be a nice start. Also, they can be asked for opinions and see #42.

40) If you are a competent golfer, hit the driving range on a nice day and offer unsolicited pointers to one of the increasing number of hotties there trying the greatest game there is. Don’t be naïve: they know the demographics of golfers and, more importantly, their Daddies probably golf.

41) If you don’t play golf, take it up---it’s good for business.

42) To bag the hot sales clerk: pretend your girlfriend is moving so you had to break it off. You want to buy her a very nice going away gift. Debate between the store you’re in or some other two, therefore you don’t have to actually buy anything. Go for only her number, and don’t call her for two weeks.
Don’t worry---she’ll remember.

43) If one of the first things out of her mouth is: “so, what do you do?”, tell her “blow off gold-diggers”, and walk away. Unless it’s been a while or she’s the only one around, then say real estate investing, and your real job as something to pay the bills while your wealth builds.

44) If you tend to be more of a “heartless” type, make sure you have a backup plan lined up before breaking up with your current girl.

45) Although a general rule for life in general, avoid speaking disparagingly about people, but especially your ex-girlfriend. The odds are decent that you’ll be going back with her at some point, and you’ll look like more of a loser if you’ve advertised her flaws to your friends.

46) Don’t smoke pot prior to going on the hunt. We’re all stupid enough to start with, and getting high, (while it has it’s place), is the last thing we need to prepare for “working it”. Having your wits about you is must. That being said…

47) If you have established that your target probably gets baked, bong hits back at your place of the one-hitter in your car can be a great excuse for moving things to the next level, (i.e. leaving the party/bar).
Even if you don’t actually have weed, you can always blame it on something else when it’s allegedly time to smoke.

48 If you are in a slump or just for practice, hit the local middle-aged hook-up joint. Older women are bolder, and will actually hit on you, giving you a self-esteem boost. There’s also always a chance some women your age will be there, too, and you can bet that if they are, they’re “goers”.

49) Obtain a female roommate if possible. Your place be far more female-friendly, and if a one-night stand leaves something behind, you can tell your girlfriend that it must be your roommates’.

50)If a woman you’ve met mentions she has multiple furry pets, she’s probably a head case. Save a lot of time and bail!

51) Always start a tab at the bar. It saves you stip money for one thing, and it also gives you a fine excuse to squeeze in next to a lady you’d like to meet to when you close it out.

52) When at the diner after drinking late night, send a random item over to a table of ladies you wish to meet as if it's a drink. Down here, it's a bowl of grits. Anyway, the waiter will drop it off and point your way. They'll look at you while they're laughing their asses off while you act all suave and give them the "point and wink." If you can't get in from that, just shoot yourself.

53) Book/Grocery store operating: Go up to one you like and say something stupid in her ear, like it's an inside joke. She'll turn around wondering WTF and you immediately start apologizing profusely. "OMG I am SO SORRY! YOu look EXACTLY like my old roommate/fraternity little sister/whatever...I feel like SUCH a tool! What's your name anyway?" If she's cool, you're on your way, if not, nothing lost.

[PedroPSK]

Nicely done Zack, nicely done.

[il bacio dolce]

I may take the time to read that later at home.
Remember: You aren't so weird or original that nobody else in the world will ever like you/be attracted to you/find compatiblity with you. If one person did, others will. Same goes for you finding someone new. There's someone else who is what you like and want, is just as good, and will make you as happy or happier.

[selkiegirl]

I'm a hopeless romantic, and I must say, when my first real love relationship ended 3 years ago, I felt many of the same emotions.
We let one another go, and I was convinced I would never find a man who I loved as deeply as him.
Then I met Freddie. I was right, I don't love Freddie as much as I loved my ex, I love him much more.
You will always treasure your first love in some capacity. You learn so much about what you want to feel in a relationship, and that feeling is something you will easily recognize when and if you do ever experience it again. "Settling" will not be an option, ever. That's a good thing! So many people settle. Out of loneliness, frustration, just the simple need to have someone in your life to spend time with, I suppose. People settle because they give up hope that there is something so much more amazing out there for them. So, they take what they can get, keep what they have. It's so sad to me.
Don't ever give up hope that you will find another hopeless romantic in this great big world. The catch is actually not to look, because they will find you, most likely when you least expect it.

[il bacio dolce]

She speaks the truth.

[davehead34]

I've told Freddie this probably countless times, but I'm so jealous of the relationship he's in right now. You guys seem perfect for each other!

And Zack, those are some killer words of wisdom - all 3,000 of them I'm gonna copy your post and forward it to my buddies.

[PrettyPenelope]

It's nice to know there are hopeless romantics out there...it's refreshing with all the cynicism and divorce and crap.

Cheer up Chase

[41ravens]

Originally Posted by gbs3769

If it makes you feel any better im sort of in the same boat.

My girlfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago and right before we broke up I met this amazing girl that I somehow fell in love with in the short amount of time that I have known her. Over most of last month things were going great between us, we would go out on the weekends and I stayed over at her house a couple of times and then about two weeks ago she kind of dropped off the face of the earth.

I haven't really heard from her since 4-25 except that she called me last Thursday and I ended up staying over at her house again. I've seen her out at the bars a few times since then, including both Friday and Saturday. Friday she was with some of her friends from school and we talked very briefly before she sort of disappeared for the evening. Saturday I saw her right before one of the bars closed although she didn't see me. I made sure and stuck around outside of the bar and she somewhat ignored me as she was leaving until I said hello to her as she was leaving with some other guy.

So basically, the girl that I think that I am falling for is playing with my head and it is really pissng me off.

- Matt

I'm in pretty much the same position you're in. I started hanging out with this girl last summer and we really clicked, but I had a girlfriend of 5 years at the time. Well, I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend and this girl and I started to get closer. Everything was going great and then all of the sudden she decided she wasn't in to me as much as she thought. She started seeing some other guy and it sucked. We're still really good friends and I'm convinced that she still has feelings for me, she just doesn't want to take it any further at this point in time. I'm getting better, but it sucks because I'm falling in love with this girl. Hopefully, everthing will work itself out. I'm the same as you, Chase, in that I fall for people too fast and too easily. Oh well, that's just who we are I guess. Just know that you're not alone, man, and hang in there cause things will get better.

[davehead34]

Originally Posted by 41ravens

Just know that you're not alone, man, and hang in there cause things will get better.

Right on man. Things will get better, mostly around July and August (I'm seeing Jack, Trey and DMB in those months ). Until then, we're just gonna have to roll with the punches.

And I'm getting better, Laura, don't worry Hey, how does June sound for the SoCal Ants meet up thing?